Troian wasn’t sure if her film had wrapped entirely yet, but she knew that her parts were done for now. Seated on the plane with her phone in her hand, Troian had to refrain from wildly texting Keegan her glee that she was coming home to him. She wanted to surprise him by waltzing through the doors with her unexpected arrival. She would’ve been on her way anyways, maybe a day later, but this stay in Los Angeles would now be made permanent as filming in Greenland was done for the time being. Thinking back to his confession last night that he missed her, Troian’s chest squeezed in empathetic longing at how much she felt the same way and then warmth blossomed soon after she heard the announcement that they were landing.
She was home.
One cab ride later, Troian was passing over a few bills and a warm smile to the driver as he deposited her bags out of the trunk and onto the ground. “Thanks,” she told him sincerely and shouldered one bag while wheeling her suitcase up the driveway. She could see Keegan’s car parked, and a flash of blonde peeking out through the front windows and her heartbeat increased in eager anticipation of wrapping her arms around her children again. With slightly shaking fingers, Troian unlocked Keegan’s front door and stepped inside only to immediately crouch down and meet her son and her daughter. They had catapulted themselves into her arms and Troian pressed kisses into their sweet smelling hair. “Hi! Hi!” She greeted, laughing as Buzz bounded up to her too. “What a perfect welcome home! Where’s Daddy?” @supitskeegs
Two lines on a stick. A stick that 15 year old Claire Halston had just peed on. She didn't want to believe it, but she had had a feeling for the past few weeks after her period was late. Not once in four years had she been late. She knew it down to the hour that she would start to see red spots on her panties.
She was surprised that it had taken so long for this incident to happen. Many nights this situation had ran through the young girls mind, along with suicide. Claire vowed to herself that if she ever got pregnant, she would kill herself because her baby wouldn't get to live. How could a man violate his own daughter? Wasn't a father supposed to love and cherish their daughter? He did, but not in the way it was meant. Claire couldn't count how many times she had tried to tell her mother what was going on after the sun set. Her mother would be too far into a bottle to even realize someone was trying to speak to her. The brunette was convinced that nobody would ever hear pleads to be saved.
"Positive." She whispered to her reflection. A 15 year old Sophomore. Pregnant with her fathers baby. That was one for MTV, huh? It was strange that she felt like a completely different person now. Does that happen to everyone? She thought to herself. It was like she could feel a small pecan inside of her stomach, just floating around. The first few thoughts that ran through her mind was, who was she going to tell and who would take her to get an abortion. She was underage, and from what she understood, she couldn't go alone. She wasn't even sure she really wanted to go through with the termination.
Claire wasn't sure how far along she truly was. She wasn't sure that she wanted to know. It would just be a reminder of all the terrible things she strove to forget. The sudden slam of the door made the girl jump. Her eyes shifted to the clock. 8:30, her mother was home from the bar, which meant her father would be annoyed shortly and come to relieve his stress on Claire. Much to her defense, she had school an excuse and could leave. She knew if she took the front door like a normal human, he would call her in with some excuse like she was sick for the fifth time this month or her mother was in an accident. He always used whatever excuse he could fine and the school never questioned it. Fucking education system.
Not long after she knew her mother was home, she heard cursing and yelling in the distance. That was her que to leave. She grabbed her book bag, slung it over her shoulders and crawled out her window. It didn't occur to her that she was carrying another human now and she couldn't just be so reckless. Until she got it taken care of anyways. Claire ran until she knew it was safe to walk. Her mind clouded with the responsibility she now had. She wanted to terminate as soon as possible before the wrong person found out and it got all over Athens. The town was notorious for gossip. All there was to do was drink beer, fuck and gossip. Claire ran a list through her head of whom she could tell about the pregnancy. There were very few adults in her life that she trusted and strange enough, they were all at the school. Most 15 year olds hated getting up and being confined to learning for 8 hours, but Claire loved it. It was 8 hours of pure bliss for her.
The school was in view before she knew it. The 10 minute bell had just filled the air and the sound of students rushing to get to class followed very close afterwards. Claire knew she should go to class, but she knew focusing would be next to impossible today. Instead of taking her normal route through the quad to get to homeroom, she took a detour to the counselors office. Mrs. Moore had always been one to ask someone how they were doing if she walked by them in the hall. During class change, she would stand at her door and greet everyone as they rushed by. She always had time for everyone and that's what made Claire so willing to meet with her. She knew her secret would be safe with the elderly woman. "Good morning, Claire." The woman said as she approached her. She smelt of apple pie and cinnamon seasoning. "Good morning." The girl replied in a soft monotone. "Can I talk to you?" Mrs. Moore looked surprised at the request, but her eyes were nothing short of kind. Not but a few beats later, she nodded and stepped aside. "Come on in." Claire nodded as she stepped onto the white tile. Her stomach was in knots and she felt as if she was going to puke. She couldn't tell if it was nervousness or morning sickness.
The brunette sat on the blue couch and waited for the teacher to get settled. Claire didn't want to hide her secret any longer, she needed to say it. The words clouded her throat. "I'm pregnant." It just came out like word vomit. Mrs. Moore had that same expression on her face as she had a few minutes ago. "I'm so scared." She added with a croak. Her eyes felt like wells and she just couldn't hold it in anymore. "Please help me." She said finally. The white haired lady nodded and stood up to pull a chair in front of the weeping teen. "You have plenty of options, Claire." She said in her soft, grandmother like tone. "You can put it up for adopti-" "I want an abortion." Claire said, feeling slightly bad for interrupting her. Mrs. Moore nodded and placed her hand on the young girls jean covered knee. "Are you sure?" Claire nodded quickly. "I have weighed all my options. Just.. Please." She felt as if she had pleaded enough and needn't say anymore. The teacher nodded and stood up. She picked up her phone and made a call, but her voice was so small, Claire couldn't make out any words. A few minutes later, Mrs. Moore was putting on her jacket and holding out her hand for Claire. No questions were asked.
The car ride was silent. Claire knew now that her nausea was from being so nervous. She felt like she was failing at her first motherly duty. But, she couldn't bring a child into this world that would not only be her child, but her sibling too. She had read too many horror stories of children who are products of incest are born with serious birth defects too. Most likely ones in which Claire couldn't handle as a teen mother. She felt like the drive was hours and hours long. Part of her didn't mind, it allowed her a few more minutes with her angel baby.
The duo finally pulled up to a brown brick building with the words "Planned Parenthood" Claire had only heard about this place on the news; and Mean Girls. As Claire unbuckled her seat belt and stepped out of the car, she felt like her legs were going to fall out from underneath her. She did a few breathing exercises that she had researched online, which oddly seemed to help her muster up the courage to go into the building.
The smell that filled the small waiting room was musty. It was apparent that 95% of the people in the room did some form of tobacco. She knew she was so out of place here. Claire followed Mrs. Moore to the counter and followed all the instructions that were given to her. She faked the number of her parents because she didn't want them knowing about this. Mrs. Moore was ever so grateful to let her use her home telephone number. She was very surprised at how trusting the receptionist was of the two. She let them know that they would be called back soon and they both nodded and found a pair of chairs to sit in.
As Claire looked around, there were pregnant girls around her age, some younger, some older. Some already with toddlers and their bellies sticking out as if they were due any second. This made Claire confirm that she wasn't ready for parenthood at all. Maybe someday in the future. With someone she loved. People came and went from the waiting room, Claire's eyes stayed fixed on the clock. One hour went by, then another thirty minutes before she was pulled out of her daze by hearing her name. "Claire." She heard finally. "It's time." The same familiar, warm voice said. Claire nodded and stood up to follow the nurse back into a room.
The room was lot by fluorescent bulbs which made Claire feel as if she was in an Eli Roth movie. The nurse, who's name she couldn't remember, instructed her to take her clothes off and put on the gown. She did so and the nurse walked her through the procedure and what steps to take to care for herself afterwards. Claire nodded, a signal to let her know that she understood and the nurse left after the standard, "the doctor will be in shortly." The brunette placed her head on the pillow and her feet in the stirrups. Why did she have to be in this position? What felt like a mere few seconds later, the doctor walked in.
"Hello, Claire." He said as he checked over her chart. She prayed he wouldn't try to make small talk. She just wanted this to be over with. He walked her through the procedure again and made sure she understood. She couldn't muster up any words. Just nods and "mhms". The doctor picked up a utensil that Claire couldn't remember the name of even though he had told her and she had researched it. "This will hurt and it will be cold. Just breathe." Claire nodded as he inserted the tool into her. She let out a small peep before tears escaped her hazel eyes. For a quick second, she regretted this decision. She was mad at herself for not standing up for herself to her father, she was mad at her father for putting her in this position. She was angry at God for not looking out for her.
"God isn't real." The brunette whispered to herself so quietly she wasn't even sure she had said it. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. He never was real. All those nights she had prayed for things to change, nobody was listening but the mice in the wall. Even then, they were probably scurrying around just to find some crumbs.
WHO: Finn Hudson & Rachel Berry
WHAT: Finn gets his first tutoring session from Rachel
WHEN: 4:00 pm
WHERE: School Library
Finn ducked his head as he pushed open the library door and went all the way to the back to get the furthest table he could find. Like in another zip code far. Maybe in the next school district. It’s not like he had a problem with the library. He just had better places to be. Places that aren’t getting tutored by Sam’s best friend. He was really insistent on it being her and not some other dweeb she could’ve recommended, but he was starting to regret it a little bit. He could tell that she was really smart so she’d probably a be a good tutor or whatever but a part of it was that so he could see into Sam’s life a little better. Not in a creepy way. Maybe in a making a statement sort of way. It was like “I’m here and you’re here and there’s no boundary anymore.”
Anyway, he sank back in his chair a little bit, and pulled a textbook out and just let it open to whatever page it wanted to. He wanted to make it seem like he was trying to be productive before they even started, but he was pretty sure she wasn’t gonna buy it. He checked his phone and started thinking about how he was about to get stood up for a tutoring session of all things. He shook his had and started to gather his stuff up again to leave, but right before he stood up, he saw her approaching his table, so he sat back and nodded as a greeting.
jinyoung realizes belatedly that he finds himself in this situation a lot – pacing around in front of creepy looking buildings that are most definitely haunted, no matter how much people like to refute the fact that ghosts exist. he’s definitely done exorcisms alone. many times in fact. but during those times, his clients would be outside the building while he was inside, which was not so bad. furthermore, there would be some signs of human life around the building as well. however, the building he was assigned to this time was in some remote area, standing tall and proud by itself. the nearest populated town was at least a 30 minute car ride from where he was and his clients were adamant in not tagging along. it was not like they had any reason to come with him anyway. how could he tell them that he, the (self-proclaimed) best shaman in korea, was afraid of ghosts?
at his wits’ end, jinyoung whips out his phone, quickly scrolling through his contacts. he feels bad for calling her at this hour but he knows that she will probably be the only one out of all his useless friends who would be most willing to help him out. when the dial tone ceases, he heaves a sigh of relief and quickly stutters into the phone, “h-hey, it’s me – same problem again. do you think you could come over here and accompany me while i exorcise a building?”
previous events: after spending many days trying to stay away from Zayn and his company, the girl ended up having to face Zayn as her first ultrasound came close.
trigger warning: mentions of pregnancy
time frame: June 10, 2016
disclaimer: triggers will be updated as the para continues. I’m going to be posting and reposting this as it continues, just so it gets updated and stuff. This is merely for archiving purposes.
Zayn had been thinking a lot about Madison and the news she had told him a couple of weeks ago. He was a little nervous to be a dad and he wasn't sure how this was going to work. He didn't know if they'd end up together or not. He did have feelings for her but he was still a little upset about the news that she had told him - even if he technically didn't have right to be upset. After all, they weren't together. He climbed out of his car and headed toward her door. He had been bugging the girl to tell him when her first ultrasound was because he wanted to be there for her throughout everything even if they weren't a thing. Maybe one day they would be. He didn't know what was happening with him or what was happening with her and he couldn't predict the future but whatever happens is for the best. He knocked on her door, "Are you ready? Come on, Madison."
Madison was fed up with Zayn, his constant need and want to be involved in the baby’s life and well hers ultimately. The blonde wasn’t even sure if she wanted him to be involved, if she wanted his help. This would just complicate things, Really complicate things for the pair of them, and she wanted nothing of the sort in her life right now. She was already broken at the fact that the first time she allowed herself to feel ended up in her getting broken, in her not being chosen. “No I’m not ready,” she huffed, opening the door in her sports bra and leggings, looking at him, “You’re like 10 minutes early anyway,” she said with a roll of her eye, walking to the washroom and glancing at the scale, shaking her head a few times. She quickly pulled a t-shirt over her body, slipping on her Adidas slippers, and walked back to where Zayn was waiting, “Okay let’s get this over with.”
Zayn felt so unwanted when he was around her and he didn't understand why. He was just trying to help. He stepped inside and waited by the door for her since it was obvious that Ashley didn't want him here and that she didn't want him getting comfortable. He sighed when she came back in and looked at her, "shouldn't you be excited about this? We're going to see our baby." He spoke and opened the door so that she could go out. He knew things between them were weird but he was hoping to at least be friends with her so that he could their child.
She looked at him, shaking her head, "I should be, right, but not when the father of my chi-" she stopped herself, taking a breath and looking away from him, grabbing her things. "We don't need you to fend for us, if this is what it is. I can lie, tell people it was some random guy, in some random club, at a random night. I mean, clearly I don't change right?" She asked, tears filling in her eyes, betraying her strong and confident words as she spoke them out loud. This was her fear coming true, carrying the child of a father who doesn't want her. She always thought that her pregnancy, if she ever got one, would be with a man who didn't see her as a friend, who wasn't disappointed in her, but rather encouraged her to keep going. She couldn't be friends with Zayn, not when he was a constant reminder that she won't ever find someone who'll ignore the past, and look towards the future. The blonde held onto her bag tightly, clearing her throat as she felt a whimper start to form.
"I know that you don't need me to fend for you guys but I want to, okay?" He was getting irritated. The girl was so sure that Zayn would just leave out of nowhere and he wasn't the type of person. He wanted to be there for the both of them and that's just the sort of person he was. He wanted to be with her but at the same time, he still felt a little disappointed about what she told him. He just couldn't believe what happened between them. He did still have feelings for her regardless of what she told them though and this made him want to be there for him even more.
"I'm not in the mood for this okay?" She stated, looking at him with a slight glare. "I'm not in the mood to pretend I'm okay with you pretending this is normal. This is not normal. You ---" she stopped, licking her bottom lip and bringing it in between her lips, "You can't keep doing this to me okay? I like you, I made it obvious that I like you. I slept with you, both literally and sexually. I told you what happened, no one knows what my family did to me. I told you what happened two years ago. I let you in for God's sake, and you .. you can't keep coming back as if I'm a second choice okay? You can't." She huffed, wiping the involuntary tears that fell from her eyes. "I can't do this anymore."
"You're not a second choice. I'm just confused. I do care about you a lot and I can't make a choice. It's hard. I love fighting with you and I love being around you. I love kissing you. I really do and I don't get anything like that with Gina. We've kissed maybe once since we've been seeing each other and we text sometimes but it's different with you and I want you but I want her too and I'm just conflicted." He paused. "Just know that you're not a second choice and you never will be."
"Why w-" she stopped, looking away from him as he spoke. "so why can't you chose?" She asked, "Is it because I slept with Harry?" She continued, hating herself now more than ever. "I am a second choice. I'm not a fool I see the way you look at her."
"No. Because I care about you both and I don't want to hurt either of you." He sighed and shook his head, "I look at you the same way."
She held her jacket tightly, shaking her head a few times, "You can't care about us both the same way Zayn. One girl, one of us you'd jump in front of a bullet for with no hesitation." She said, refraining from the second part that said, I wouldn't blame you if that's Georgina. She gulped and looked away. "No you don't. No one looks at me like that. I'm not.." She started, laughing a little, "I'm not a girl people see a future with. Just a girl people see in their bed."
"I do though. You can't tell me how I can and can't feel. I do care about the both of you and I don't know why you're always pushing me away." Zayn let out a huff. "I'd save both of you if I could." He stated. "I look at you like that so don't say that I don't because I know I do. I see a future with you."
"I'm trouble. I'll hurt you. You don't need me in your life. Don't burden yourself by all of this. Like I said, I don't mind lying to keep you from getting attacked. God knows you're going to get hell if this gets out." She stared at him, laughing a little. "A future? With me?"
"Stop, Madison. I care about you. Can't you just accept that and stop pushing me away? Please?" He nodded his head, "yeah, with you. I do. Is that so hard to believe?"
"No I can't stop pushing you away. Because if I let you in and you chose her, I wouldn't be able to handle it." She said with a shrug, turning towards an office building, taking a deep breath as she subconsciously brought her hand to her stomach, walking to the line that was there. "Yes. It is."
"But what if I choose you? Are you ever going to stop pushing me away?" He questioned the girl and walked with her. He cracked a smile when he saw her hand move to her stomach, "Why?"
"If you chose me, then maybe. I don't know. You'd be stupid to pick me over Georgina," she stated simply. She walked in, rubbing her stomach as she looked around, trying to see where she is. It was t dawning on her that she was at a pregnancy clinic. "Me and a future just doesn't add up anymore. I'll be one of those 40 year old stripper."
Zayn shook his head, "honestly, I'm not arguing with you because I've told you how I've felt about you and you're still trying to push me away." He sighed at her. "I don't think that'll happen." Zayn moved to the counter with her so that she could sign in
"Zayn I'm done having this conversation. She'll make you happy." His words were running through her head. Did he say love? She asked herself, confused. She didn't ever hear the words love being used in regards to her, but she wasn't sure if this was just how it was said. She took out her health card, looking at the receptionist as she asked for ID and a credit card, going through her wallet
Zayn put his hand on her back as they stood at the counter. "And you will too." He whispered and looked away. He looked at her, "Do you want me to pay or anything?" He asked.
She looked at him, shaking her head a few times. "I would just hurt you," she whispered, her body rigid at his touch. She was feeling self conscious lately and she didn't want to bother him with her body. "No I'm fine. Thanks."
Zayn rolled his eyes at her comment and rubbed her back gently. "I'm here if you need anything, you know that right?"
The girl didn't want to fall for him even more. She didn't want to depend on him, or let him in. She didn't want to not be chosen. She grabbed the clipboard with the papers she needed to fill and took a breath, sitting down.
Harry knew it was gonna be hard for her to ever let him in the way she did because yeah, he did push her away. A little after she told him what happened between her and Harry. He followed her over to the chairs and sat down next to her
"Do you have any family history or allergies?" She asked as she filled out the form quietly, not wanting to get too attached right now. She was sure he was going to leave soon.
Zayn shook his head, "no. Nothing." He shrugged, his hand resting on her knee. He knew that this whole situation was a mess but he was going to figure it out
She eyed his hand, shaking her head a few times and got up, walking to the counter to give her the forms, walking back to the seat she was in. She watched the families in the room, her emotions getting the best of her as she silently cried.
Zayn was trying his best to let her know that he was there for her and even though she was trying to push him away, he was still trying to be there for her. He looked over at her after he contemplated on what to say and when he saw her crying,he frowned. "What's wrong?"
She grew up knowing she was never going to be loved, that all of her fantasies as a child would disappear and would put her in a position where she thought one way but acted another. "Nothing, just hormones," she whispered, waving her hand around and then taking a shaky breath, pulling her jacket closer to her.
Zayn nodded a little and chewed on his bottom lip. He don't know if he would ever be close to her like he wanted to. Since the moment he found out about her and Harry, their relationship has been nothing but complicated and he hated it.
The girl was nervous, what if she wasn't really pregnant. What if he thought she made this up? "Did you.. Tell anyone?" She asked, looking down at her hands.
"Tell anyone what? That you're pregnant? No. I haven't told anyone." He replied. Zayn really did believe her and he had no reason not to
The girl grabbed his hand tightly when her name was called, her heart racing at the thought of actually going with this. She can ignore this, pretend she wasn't pregnant but.. Did she want to risk not having a family? She gulped and then nodded her head at his comment, letting his hand go as she stood up to follow the nurse.
Zayn squeezed her hand as if to tell her that he was here. He took in a deep breath and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand before she stood up and then got up to follow her
The girl followed the nurse, holding her jacket tightly as she did so. The girl gulped when she was asked to sit down and pull her shirt up.
Zayn stood next to her and held her hand tightly, biting his lip.
She nodded and moved to sit down, biting her bottom lip as she hitched her shirt up. She was nervous, way too nervous for the results.
Zayn rubbed the back of her hand, looking up at the screen even though it hadn't even started yet
The girl took a breath, not sure what was going to happen. The doctor came in, greeting them both and smiled at the two, "Don't you make a lovely couple? Alright, so Madison, we're going to do just a quick ultrasound to make sure everything's okay. It's going to be a little cold." The girl nodded and looked at the screen, her hand tightly gripping Zayn's. "It looks like you're about 8 weeks pregnant," he started, stopping when he heard a faint heartbeat, "And that's the heartbeat of your little one."
Zayn gave the doctor a nod and a small smile. The fact that he thought they were a cute couple was weird because it seemed like everyone back at the Hamptons only had bad things to say about them being together and he hated it - even though they weren't a couple. He looked at the screen and ran his thumb over the back of her hand, smiling a little.
The girl just dismissed his comment, it was an assumption, and no matter how much she wanted it to be true, that really wasn't the case. Madison watched the screen, her eyes wide at the time frame, shaking her head a few times. "There's no way," she whispered, before tearing up as she heard the heartbeat, "why is it so faint?" She asked, biting her bottom lip. He looked at them as he froze the screen to where the little peanut shaped white dot was, "It's still early in the pregnancy, it's heart beat will get stronger as it grows. Would you like one copy or two?" She turned to look at Zayn, then at the doctor, "Two's fine," she concluded.
Zayn couldn't believe it. She was really pregnant and honestly, he was pretty excited. He was sure if anyone found out then they'd be judged or something but he didn't care. He was going to be a dad and he hated that they weren't together and now he didn't know if she'd think he just wanted to be with her because of the baby if he tried anything so he wasn't sure what to do. "Uh, yeah. Two works." He gave the doctor a small smile
The girl nodded as he said he'd be back with the pictures and tips for her health and the baby's. Madison sat up, wiping her stomach as she took a deep breath, not even sure what to say. "If this is too much for you, I don't expect you to stay, or well, I won't force you," she trailed, biting her bottom lip.
Zayn looked over at her and rolled his eyes at her comment, "it's not too much for me." He reassured. "To be honest, I'm...excited." He confessed and looked down at his feet.
"To have this? With me?" She asked, her breath going uneven. "Why would you be excited to have anything with me?" She continued, her voice small.
Zayn crossed his arms and looked at her, "why do you do that? You say that like I hate you. I was mad at you and I'm no longer mad at you so yes I'm excited. I'm excited because I want to be a dad and maybe we're not together but I do care about you."
"Maybe because you should," she whispered, before Taking a breath as she heard his words, closing her eyes. "I don't know maybe we're just.. Maybe we need to have a proper break up. Maybe that would make it easier on you to choose the right girl." She avoided his eyes as she spoke, knowing the tears were soon to come.
Zayn furrowed his eyebrows as she spoke, "why would you say that?" He asked, tilting his head a little as he looked at her. "Do you not want to be with me now?" He questioned quietly, actually afraid of her response.
She looked at him with wide eyes, "of course I want to be with you! But why would you chose me over Georgina?!" She asked, her face flustered.
"Because I liked you first and I see something with you that I don't see with her. I don't know why you're trying to push me away because I'm not going anywhere unless you truly don't want me."
Her eyes widened as she looked at him, her eyes searching for any hint of lies in his words. She bit her bottom lip, "You see something with me?" She asked, taking a deep breath. She didn't want to get her hopes up or fall for any words he was saying. The doctor came back with two pictures, handing them to Zayn and then looking at them. "okay, so, first things first, sex is good," he smiled before laughing, "no alcohol, no smoking obviously. Lots of exercise, healthy diets.0
Zayn smiled at her response and nodded his head, "I do and no matter what happens, I do want to be with you." He took the picture in his hands and looked down at it. When the doctor mentioned sex, he looked up at him and bit his lip. He was sure none of that was going to happen right now
She looked at him, sniffing a little, "Are you saying you're choosing me?" She asked, biting her lip to keep from being too hopeful. She coughed when he mentioned sex, shaking her head and gulping a little. She nodded and then looked at Zayn as the doctor addressed him. "as for you, just be there as much as you can."
"I'm saying that I'm choosing you but I don't know how to go about this." He laughed a little. "I don't know how to tell Georgina or I don't know what to do or anything." He added,biting his lip. "I will. Thank you Doctor."
She nodded and bit her bottom lip, not wanting to say anything that would be rude. "Well I don't know what to say," she admitted, before realizing they were done and getting up, slipping her jacket back on.
Zayn nodded, "you can just think about it and we figure it out." He gave her a small smile and took her hand gently so that they could walk out together
She shook her head, "oh no, I'm not getting involved," Madison said with a laugh, grimacing a little. "I can't hurt her,'or you," she admitted, looking at their hands and giving him a soft smile.
"I meant with me and you. You don't have to be there when I talk to Georgina." He reassured. Zayn led them out, "are you hungry? We could go out for breakfast."
"Think about what? Being with you? Three nothing to think about," she said simply, before nodding her head, "breakfast sounds good," she started before letting out a breath, "you're not choosing me because o the baby are you?"
"So you're sure you want me?" He asked, looking down at her. "Where would you like to go?" Zayn shook his head in response, "I knew you were going to say that. But no I'm not choosing you because of the baby."
"Who else is going to put up with me?" She asked, pushing her hair back, "Uhm, we can just go to McDonald's," she suggested, before looking at him, "Are you sure?" She asked.
"I'm sure there are plenty of guys would put up with you." He nodded his head, "sounds good to me." Zayn squeezed her hand and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "I'm sure."
She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "like who?" She asked, "everyone but you and Noah and maybe Justin actually give a crap about me," she stated simply, taking a deep breath, "but I don't want to talk about that right now." She looked at him, feeling his lips against her cheek and took a breath, not sure if she should respond or not. "well come on, baby's craving an iced coffee."
"Noah and Justin are nice guys so maybe it could happen but I think another girl has Noah's attention." He chuckled. "I don't either. Let's move on to better topics." He agreed. He smiled and led her out, his hand holding onto hers.
"Oh there's actual crushes at the Hamptons? do tell!" She loved hearing about other people having every day things, not liking that some had it worse than others. She nodded and then followed him out, trying to take in the whole morning so far. Was this happening? Was she getting what she wanted?
"You know I don't know a lot about what's going on but yeah. Do you see the way Noah looks at Stephanie? He's all heart eyes for her." He chuckled. "And I think that Robbie boy likes Darcy and she's more of a handful than you are." He added
"Stephanie like the fashion designer?" She asked, "Oh my god he's the girl he was talking about!" She said with wide eyes. "Who are you all heart eyes for?" She asked, before raising an eyebrow, "Someone likes Darcy?"
"Yeah, the fashion designer." Zayn laughed, "what's he say about her?" He asked. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "you." He whispered and bit his lip. "Yeah. Robbie I think."
"He was just going on about how he likes her but doesn't want to hurt her, or something," she laughed, before looking at him. "Wow Zayn, that was so damn smooth," she teased, before tilting her head, "Are you really? Why?" She asked, before nodding, "Well I mean, she is hot."
"That's nice of him. Noah seems too nice to hurt anybody." He replied. "Was it? I like to think I'm pretty smooth." He grinned down at her. "Because you're fun and beautiful and smart." He moved his arm around her waist. "She's difficult though."
"He's a sweetheart, really love spending time with him," she smiled, before rolling her eyes, "yeah Yeah go away," she teased, before pouting, "Tell me something I don't know," Madison giggled, her cheeks red nonetheless about his words. She felt his arms, surprised they were there. "I'm sure I am too."
"I'm sure he's a good friend to you." He smiled at her. "Gonna have to get use to me being all cocky." He joked and poked her side. "Oh alright. I'm glad you're so sure of yourself." He nodded, "you are but I love it."
"He's great, it's nice just having someone to talk to you know? Like I can usually talk to you but I didn't want to bother you," she whispered, "well at least i didn't want to burden you," she admitted, squealing when he poked her, "oh my god no!" She giggled, before rolling her eyes at him, "well tell me something I don't know." She smiled and then bit her bottom lip, "Be careful with the use of that word Zayn," she warned, not wanting to get used to it.
"Yeah. I get that but Madison, you've never been a burden to me and you never will be." Zayn spoke. He hated that she did that. That she thought that she was such an inconvenience and she wasn't. "You'll get passed it." He laughed. "Do you really want to know something you don't know?" He questioned, gulping a little. "What word? Love?"
"I'm sorry it's just.. How I was raised, that I wouldn't ever be good enough." She took a breath, facing away from him as she spoke, but then decided it was better if she spent the time not talking about herself. "You can't poke me, I have a baby in here," she whisper shouted, a smile on her mouth as she spoke. She hated how they could never just communicate, that it would either be one or the other with them. "Yes, tell me something I don't know," she said, raising an eyebrow at what he could tell her. She nodded, looking at him, "yes that word."
"But you are good enough and you shouldn't think that you aren't. You're way too good for me. I've been such an asshole to you and I didn't have the right to be and you still care about me." He raised an eyebrow, "I can still poke you." He replied and poked her side. He bit his lip and he couldn't help but think what he was about to say was a stupid idea. "Why? What if I wanted to tell you I loved you?" He asked quietly, his heart racing.
She listened to him as he spoke, listening to him but not focusing entirely, since her mind was slightly distracted by the commotion on the streets. She held onto Zayn's arm, pushing towards him in hopes of not losing him and then shrugged. "because you gave me chances when I didn't deserve them. I cheated on you.. Multiple times. I'm not surprised if you're angry with me because of all I've done. If anything, I'm surprised you're still talking to me." She sighed and then held his hand tightly, shaking her head at him and his words, "There's no way you love me," she said, her heart racing.
Zayn looked at her only when he spoke but other than that, his eyes were on the busy sidewalks as they maneuvered through the crowd. "And I forgave you. I do believe you're trying to change and I'm proud of you and I'm glad you told me about you and Harry. I was just hurt. I overreacted. I always overreact." He huffed, pulling a cigarette from his pocket and letting her go. "Don't want to smoke too much around you but this crowd is making me nervous." He told the girl and put the stick between his lips before lighting it. "I might..."
She looked at him as he spoke to her, her attention broken as she saw a group of kids making fools of themselves. She shook her head, even though she knew she was once one of those kids. "He's your best friend. He dated another best friend of yours. They the reason they're not together is me," she said, her voice showing how guilty she was, "And it doesn't help that nothing I say will fix what happened. I cheated, I caused someone to cheat, what kind of person am I?" She asked, before gulped, watching him pull away from her, but only to smoke. She put her hands in her jacket, looking around as she tried to figure out if they were walking or driving. Madison stopped in her tracks as she heard the two simple words, not looking at him, just trying to process things. "You might what?"
Zayn shoved his free hand in his pocket and held the cigarette in his other. "Yeah well Louis didn't even tell me. He's my best friend and he hid it from me and the only time he ever tried to tell me is after we started seeing each other again and I'm beginning to think that's he just like everyone else. He just wants me to be with Georgina but I can't. She's hung up on someone else and so am I and maybe that's a sign that we shouldn't be together." He took a puff of his cigarette and blew the smoke out in the opposite way of where she was walking. "I might love you."
She listened to him, realizing that maybe there was more to the story. She was surprised that he didn't tell Zayn about what happened, but she wasn't surprised when he mentioned how Louis wanted him to chose Georgina. "What if he gives you some ultimatum?" She asked before wincing, "Okay wait don't answer that, do you want to talk about that? How him keeping it from you is making you feel? Because I don't think it's good that you're keeping it all in.." She started, finding herself wondering how he came to the decision to chose her. Maybe it was the baby, or maybe it was something else. She wanted to ask, but she didn't want to seem self centred. She really did want to change, be more there for him. "I feel like if we really want to try, well being an us we have to start right. Be honest, not hold anything back. I mean, I can give you the list of people I have slept wth in the past, and the people I have hinted at sleeping with or I can just.. Continue to be honest with you in those little things that you like so much like me telling you my favourite colour." She looked at him, stopping in her steps. "You might what?" She asked, her breath hitching as her hand went over her chest.
Zayn was a little pissed off at Louis that he waited so long to even attempt to tell him. "Honestly, I think it's pretty fucked up that two people I thought were my best friends kept it from me. I had stopped talking to you at the time so yeah, I didn't really expect you to tell me but I was in a band with those guys for five long years and they couldn't even tell me what happened and to be honest, it makes me think that I can no longer trust them. It just hurts to know that I was the last one to know even though I was involved with you." He sighed and took another hit of his cigarette to try and calm his nerves. Everything was going okay so far and he couldn't let this upset him. "Then let's start right. Let's be completely honest with each other. I don't want to hold back anymore." He stopped and looked at her, scared of her reaction. "I might love you." He repeated
She listened to him, nodding her head a few times as he spoke to show she was listening, rubbing his back to try and help calm him down. "Have you told them? That you feel betrayed by them?" She asked, "I mean it wasn't right for me to keep it that long, but I have been trying so hard to prove to you that I'm not the same and I wanted you to hear it from my mouth you know? Can you imagine what would happen if you heard it somewhere else? From someone else?" She asked, shivering at the thought. She smiled a little and nodded her head, "you'll have to get me some time,'I'm not used to this. Being accountable to someone else." She admitted before taking a deep breath, leaning to peck his cheek. "I appreciate you telling me that. I can't reciprocate those feelings, not yet, not right now when I'm not even sure of my self. I like you, a lot. I mean, I really like you. You're so sweet and you're honest and you're loyal when you shouldn't be. And possibly one day if you'll let me I'll be able to look you in the eyes and reciprocate those feelings."
"I told Harry. Me and Harry really got into it. And the things he said, they were so hateful but I think he only did it to hurt me since I hit him. I just, I lost control and I punched him and he kept saying how he made you feel so much better and I just wanted to hit him again but I knew that he could say worse things. I just wanted him out of my house." He sighed. "I just wish that it would have been Louis telling me since we're best friends but maybe we aren't as close as I think we are..." He added. He gave her a soft smile and he was glad it wasn't weird that he told her because he really just wanted to lay everything out. He wanted her to know how he felt and now she did. "Of course I'll let you." He nodded his head
She hummed, wincing a little at the thought of punches being thrown, "Oh. He didn't." She said, frowning, "He doesn't even compare to how you make me feel," she whispered, looking away from him and at the road as she walked. It was like his song I Would said, how no one could touch her like him, or know her body. It seemed that Zayn was getting to know every inch of her, and even though it scared her, she was glad she had someone who knew her and still wanted her around. "Have you told Louis?" She asked, "I'm sure he just didn't want to hurt you..." She trailed, not wanting to talk bad about his best friend. She kept her thoughts to herself, the thoughts that revolved around Louis' words to her on a constant basis. She gave him a small smile and leaned against him a little, biting her bottom lip. "I can't believe you're choosing me."
"Harry's just, he can be a huge asshole and I'm sure that's another reason why Louis left him. Obviously I didn't know this until after they broke up or well, to be honest, I don't think I knew until we fought. He was just too good at trying to hurt me." He shook his head, "no I haven't talk to Louis a lot since I talked to Harry. Louis has his own problems and it seems to me like he has his head to far up Wesley's ass that he doesn't have time for anything which is probably why him and Stan aren't friends anymore." He spoke before taking another hit of his cigarette. He always assumed he probably would pick Ashley. She meant a lot to him and he did like her first, "I'm glad I am."
"I mean every couple has their problems. Look at us, we're the definition of problems but we're still.. I don't know.. Happy?" She tried, wondering if it made sense. She tilted her head, frowning a little when he mentioned that he doesn't talk to Louis. It bothered her that he was saying those words, that he truly thought Louis had his own problems which were more important than Zayn's. "Has he shown any interest in talking to you about your problems lately?" She asked, rubbing her arm a little. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, Louis and Wesley mixed in with best friends not being friends, it just didn't seem right. "It's as if he's intentionally trying to ruin his life. But as a best friend, he should be paying attention to you." she said with a shrug, watching him as he smoked. "I hope I live up to your expectations."
"I know." He laughed at her words. "We're always fighting." He nodded his head, "but we are happy." He didn't know what was up with Louis anymore. He felt like it was none of his business anymore and that's not how it was supposed to be. "No. He's always talking about his own problems but I guess that's just Louis." He shrugged. "But he doesn't so I don't even know why I give him the time anymore. I don't even know if I have a best friend. You're the closest thing I have."
She nodded her head, giggling as he laughed, "maybe we're happy because we fight," she teased. The girl sighed as he spoke bad of his best friend, but that had to mean something. In all the years the girl has known him she never once heard him question his friendship. "You need to talk to him. I know how you two are together and I know he'd hate to lose him. Talk to him, tell him that you have some problems that you need your best friend for. Tell him how you feel like you don't know him anymore. Tell him that you miss him or whatever it is you guys tell each other's be honest with him even if he wasn't honest with you. Maybe he'll appreciate you more." She tried, rubbing his back before giving him a small smile. "I'll be a best friend, but you'd also need a guy because let's face it, I don't get dude," she said as she stuck her tongue out. But she was one to talk, she didn't have any close friends and she was sure that once the news comes out, people will torment her.
"Maybe." Zayn nodded and let out a small laugh. He didn't know whether him and Louis were friends anymore. He was always busy or something. He Actually didn't know why Louis hadn't been talking too much. "Maybe. I don't know where to find him. He moved and he hardly ever answers my text messages so..." He shrugged. "Sorry I'm making this hard for you..thank you for helping. I'll figure out something." He gave her a soft smile and finished his cigarette. "Yeah, I know. I'll try to find someone but you're here if I need to talk."
She smiled and then shook her head, "Isn't this what people who like each other do? They talk and try to sort out their problems? I know all my.. Friends say that they would love to marry their best friend. Like they want whoever they end up with to know them like a best friend knows someone. So if you ever need to talk, or vent or cry, I'm around for you," she smiled reassuringly, before seeing a McDonalds and squealing.
"Yeah, I guess so." Zayn nodded his head. "It's everyone's dream to marry their best friend. Everyone wants to know their spouse that well and that's why I don't mind talking to you." He laughed and shook his head at her, "you've got an addiction to McDonald's."
She turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow, "love and marriage all in one morning? That's too much," she said in a joking manner, but laughed it off as a joke. She stuck her tongue out at him, "It's cheap and filling, thank you very much."
Zayn laughed and rolled his eyes, "am I moving too fast?" He teased, nudging her arm. "And you have an addiction." He added and stuck his tongue out at her
"Too fast, I can't keep up!" She smiled, biting her bottom lip. She rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head a few times. "Yet here you are satisfying my addiction.",
"Oops." He chuckled and took her hand in his as he walked through the door. "Yeah, here I am." He rolled his eyes
She just shook her head at him, walking to the line and pulling him with her. "We can just pay by credit," she said, pointing to the self kiosk, moving to one and ordering for herself. "Nuggets?" She asked him.
Zayn nodded his head and let her order their food. He pulled his card out, "nuggets sound good." He agreed and handed his card over
She shook her head at him, "It's okay I can pay," she said, motioning for her wallet.
"Let me pay. You didn't let me pay for the appointment."
"Because.." She said, before frowning, "Okay okay fine."
Madison and Zayn spent the rest of the morning together, the girl hesitant on letting him in but his persistence pushing her to believe it’s different this time. She has been trying to change, and it seemed that the only person who believed her, who believed in her and her ability to make a difference in her own life. Zayn was slowly starting to help her feel better, feel as if - although it being an accident - the pregnancy could be something worth it. She would be in charge of someone, helping her form a life for herself that would make a difference. She was glad he was around to support her, and that he was going to stay with her through this; because she knew that without him, she would be lost.
Of course if Kendall didn't need a Santa hat then she would have found one without fail, that was always the case. Yet here she was, with half of the living room torn up and four pillows thrown out onto the floor. Having sworn she'd throw the hat somewhere around the room, Kendall believed that she could possibly find it if she did not leave a pillow unturned. After another five minutes and a few curse words, the red and white hat resurfaced with only a thin layer of dust over it from being castaway behind one of the five large chairs. Kendall quickly patted it until it was dust-free, gripping roughly onto the white trim of the fabric and trying her hardest to tidy the room to appear before she came. Tossing a few pillows here and there before giving a shrug and leaving the room. She'd come back later, of course, when she had more time.
It was a very short walk back to her room, now filled with an air of accomplishment after finding the hat and taking much less time than she had expected. This thankfully gave Kendall enough time to change and even relax before Justin arrived as she told him to. The outfit of choice was the same as the one she had worn for her recent photoshoot. She had never been one for posing in underwear and had never really seen herself ever doing something like that in her career yet she couldn't exactly have turned down such an opportunity. The photo shoot for the magazine itself hit stands Monday and from experience Kendall knew exactly how Justin acted to things that showed a little more skin than others. He'd handled things very well the last few times though and Kendall was very thankful for that so when he had asked if she still had the outfit, Kendall knew where he was going with it and felt that he really did deserve a little something for dealing with the recent events.
Within the few minutes she had changed in, Kendall even fixed the hat onto her head. She was so thrilled for Christmas that even the smallest symbols of it threw her into a whole new mood, it was to every single one of her friends and family's knowledge that Kendall and Christmas were two things that went together well. Sitting down on the edge of their bed, Kendall impatiently tapped her foot, pulling out her phone for a slight second just to power it off and toss it on the bedside table.
Cassidy was more than happy to give Chase a reason to take a study break. They'd not really gotten a chance to hang out since being back from Vegas with work and classes and studying, so taking advantage of the weekend, Cassidy went quick into action to find something for them to do, deciding on a movie and then bringing him back to the house to cook them dinner and then probably some other things to remain behind closed doors. Letting her and Chase back into the house after the movie and holding the door for him she looked around, waving at a couple of the sisters who were still awake. "So, what do you feel like for dinner?" She asked him as they entered the dark kitchen, left alone now by the late time they were eating. She moved to the fridge opening it and browsing around, looking for something appetizing, pulling out a few things. "So I'm glad we decided to take a study break, this was a lot more exciting than learning. You can just do that again tomorrow." She teased, throwing him a little wink.
