#pagefletcher

[thehitchhikerguide]

Season 2, Episode 10: Murderous Feelings

Murderous feelings, really? What a tease. This one was a real snooze-fest. And it wasn't just because there were no notable actors in it, but that didn't help either.

The episode starts off with a scared woman being followed by a mysterious man.

So mysterious, it looks like he could even be the invisible man. She starts running away from him on a train and almost falls off onto the tracks.

The man slowly creeps towards her, about to strangle her and as she is falling off the train...

...suddenly she is in a psychiatrist office. It was just a dream...or she was telling him the dream, not exactly sure.

This of course leads to sex. She starts undressing in his office.

The Doctor gives a creepy smile.

Despite this, she still has sex with him. And this sex scene actually goes on for a bit. She takes her clothes off, then takes his clothes off. Then for some reason she puts his clothes on her.

She does actually reference the title, asking the Doctor why he is telling her she has murderous feelings for her father. Not sure what that has to do with the creepy man on the train, but I assume we will find out.

Cut to the hitchhiker who is just in some field. He says, "Dr. Peter Milne and Sara Kendal are on a journey together, traveling into the subconscious. A place where shadows of the past are just around the corner and their darkest fears wait beyond the next door. "

I guess journey, because she was on that train, so maybe the whole thing was a metaphor...I don't know this is not one of the hitchhiker's strongest openers.

She goes home and wait a minute, this is where she lives? An actual haunted house?

She creeps around inside, which takes forever. Then she gets felt up by her curtains.

She stabs at the person grabbing her with either a knife or letter opener, I couldn't tell. But it turns out...

Yup it was all another dream.

This troubles her so much she decides to seek out her psychiatrist, who just happens to be giving a talk to some prestigious group. It's established that he is up for some big presidency of something and that everyone is watching him closely for him to screw it all up.

Like this guy in the glasses and ghoul next to him. Wait a minute, is that the guy from Poltergeist 2? Oh sorry, my mistake.

Sara comes running over to him, right on cue to scream and cry like a crazy person. There is also a reporter there that is just waiting to dig up some dirt on this doctor. Dr. Milne escorts Sara outside and tells her he will talk to her during their appointment. The reporter runs after her, but of course this doesn't seem to go anywhere.

I think this worries the Doctor enough that he puts in his notes Sara is probably going to kill herself. Okay, I think I see where this is going. Then a man sneaks back into the haunted house and grabs Sara again. This time it's not a dream...I think.

But he is stopped when the reporter rings the doorbell.

"I'm coming!"

Just kidding, he somehow hides and escapes and the scene ends. So what was the plan here? Was she going to have killed herself by strangling herself after her clothes were ripped off?

Back at the psychiatrist office, Sara is begging her doctor for treatment and he is trying to cut her loose. Then he tells her if she wants to get better, they need to re-enact her nightmare on the train.

It's starts as before...but instead of a creepy guy, there is no guy following her.

She is on the train and opens the door...and there is some guy humping a bed?

I can't tell if there is anyone else there. But she does see her stuffed horse and it all comes back to her. Oh God please no, save me from this.

"You raped me daddy!!"

Yup, I really hoped it wouldn't go here, but here we are. After she yells this, the guy follows her and you guessed it, it's the creepy doctor. This time when he comes towards her, she is ready.

The letter opener! Or knife, whatever it is. He is threatened...

...and he goes over the edge onto the tracks. I couldn't get a great picture of it, these are his legs as he falls over.

And that's it, the hitchhiker is of course walking along the train tracks, like a common hobo. He says, "Peter Milne was willing to betray the secrets of a sacred trust for the pettiness of his own ambition. But what he didn't count on was when you lure someone to the edge of darkness, there will always be the chance that you'll be the one to fall."

Wait, is that an attempt at a joke? I mean that guy deserved to fall and possibly die (it's not entirely clear that he's dead), but I think I saw a little smile on his face. Well at least the hitchhiker enjoyed this story more than I did. Wait why was she on a train when the trauma was happening in her house? I feel like they combined two different scripts together.

And that wraps it up for Season 2! I know there are some really great ones up ahead in the next season and I can't wait. This one was definitely not memorable and not really a great note to end on. I will hitchhike on, because I know there is more craziness ahead!

[thehitchhikerguide]

Season 2, Episode 9: Hired Help

Our favorite rogue is back at it, and this time he's taking on illegal immigration! Who knew that Mexico shared a border with Canada?

The episode starts off by announcing the famous guest star this time is Karen Black. Wow, that's a pretty famous actress who've been in a ton of stuff, especially in the 1970's. I really only remember her from that Great Gatsby movie I had to see in high school. Anyways, this episode is not that great, but I think she is great in it. We start out at a sewing sweat shop, where there are a bunch of people making clothes.

Karen Black seems to be having some argument about operations with another man among many rolls of fabric.

As a sewist, I did drool a little at this place and all the fabric, despite it looking so dusty and dingy.

Suddenly, someone hurts their hand at one of the sewing machines.

Karen Black is not sympathetic to this at all because it will now affect her bottom line. One of her workers starts to leave to go with the injured person to the hospital. Turns out it was his niece that got hurt.

She is not happy and basically tells him if he leaves, to not come back at all. He says something about how the dark gods will punish her for this. A curse it seems...why am I getting Stephen King's Thinner vibes from this?

One thing interesting about this episode was this strange noise that kept occurring between scenes - and it wasn't the creepy Rubini score that is usually heard. It's hard to describe, but it sounds like the sound the TV show A Current Affair used to make when showing it's logo. I think it's supposed to symbolize some sort of magic going on.

Where is our Hitchhiker character? We are pretty far in.

Oh there he is.

...And Karen Black almost hits him as she's speeding out. We find out her name is actually Kay Mason and she "thinks she is a rich and powerful woman who uses people then throws them away. But the law of business isn't the only force at work out there and she's about to meet someone who's going to drive that point home."

Hmm that person looks a lot like Harry Shearer. Oh wait this is the guy she was arguing with before...I guess he is her husband.

Haha, I just thought this scene was funny. Karen doesn't get nude in this episode so they had to show breasts somehow.

There is some playful dialogue with Kay and her husband about how she needs to find another person to replace the guy she fired. He also needs someone do work in their backyard. He advises her to get someone at "the wall." Wait there was a wall before Trump was in office?

Then he uses the headache line on her and goes to sleep. Classic!

Down at the wall, she find someone that seems to fit her qualifications.

Wow, this guy belongs in a Lands End ad!

After he does some work at her fabric warehouse, she takes him to her house for some "other" chores. You can imagine where it goes from here.

But first we get a shot of him taming her devil dog when he tries to attack. We also find out the dog's name is "Boy." Wow there are all sorts of racist issues at play.

Mrs. Mason are you trying to seduce me?

We get a reveal of an interesting tattoo when Kay's housekeeper hands him a drink.

This causes the housekeeper to freak out and Kay to scream at her to get ahold of herself. This tattoo seems to mean he is a type of devil. This doesn't scare Kay at all.

In fact I think it turns her on. She brings him in the bedroom to look at her air conditioning.

Woah I guess it's not working since he needs to take off all his clothes.

As much as I tried, I don't think you can see anything here when he gets totally nude.

They do some interesting shadow shots for the love scene. This is probably because they don't want to show any nudity. This shot did look pretty cool when it went from sexy time to full on spanking and then hard core thrusting.

This looks like part of a modern dance number.

Things seems erotic until...

Uhhhh....what? Nothing unusual here.

After this night of passion, she is extremely upset her greenhouse is trashed.

Did she not see the black wings coming out of that guy and demon eyes? She starts calling out for her dog...Boy. Ugh.

Haha he has hex vision. He runs over to her...

And this puppet attacks her. She calls out to Maria, her housekeeper for help.

She has Bette Davis eyes. Then Kay notices something else scary in her house.

Black Adder! Black Adder!

Luckily her husband comes home just in time. And everything seems fine...

Uh oh! The only thing left to do is...

But how do you shoot the devil in the back...what if you miss?

Her husband goes down with a bad gunshot wound, but the red eyes are gone. Naturally this is pretty funny to Kay.

Is that the end? What the heck happened?

This ending scene with the Hitchhiker seems to have some secret message about Autodeter. Who is that and what does it mean?

We don't get an answer to that, just the message that Kay Mason took advantage of the helpless and laughed at their superstitious beliefs. But when she angered the gods of their vengeance, she unleashed a darkness that overcame her and should make believers of us all.

I don't know, I'm not convinced. Although it might explain this strange artwork.

Actually that doesn't explain anything. I'm not even sure she learned her lesson since I don't think she liked her husband that much to begin with. Hmmm this one is pretty weak. And not much resolution for those illegal immigrants. Boo!

[thehitchhikerguide]

Season 2, Episode 8: Man at the Window

After that last episode, the bar had been set pretty low. I had some high hopes for this one since I saw that Michael Madsen was one of the guest stars. I'm guessing this was well before he took any phone call from QT.

This episode made me wonder about the screenwriters of The Hitchhiker - did they get THEIR ideas from spying on people? I say this because that is what this episode is about.

Our "hero" (played by Edward Albert, son of Green Acres star Eddie Albert), is first seen in a town square. I totally got a kick out of all the NYC references they make in this episode, when one look will tell you, this ain't NYC. He is seen with his motorcycle. He pulls something out.

A breast pump? No wait it's a recording device.

He's listening to this couple gripe about old age. Great, this is like a less interesting version of The Conversation. But then he picks up something else.

This woman with a black eye is on the phone with her lover. Sounds like someone is stepping out on someone, which is intriguing our main character. He follows her on his bike, completely oblivious to this guy...

The Hitchhiker doesn't attempt to get a ride, as I think it's pretty tough to hitchhike on a motorcycle. However I do see room on his seat.

Instead he lets us know that "Arthur Bradley Brown steals the words of others and uses them as they were his own. But what he doesn't hear are murmurs of danger, that could warn him of the violence that can pound with the human heart."

Arthur is able to follow this woman to an apartment.

He uses this window plunger to hear what is going on inside. Really? No one sees this in broad daylight?

We see this young woman's lover is...another woman! Wow 80s HBO, I'm impressed! Well I was until I found out this is how brave they were with this:

For a show that who's tagline always seem to be "look at these," I was pretty disappointed there was nothing steamy with this couple. This cuddle is as far as they go. That's the 80s for you.

Well there is the titular Man in the Window. Come on, they don't see this?

He is able to record them talking about the whole sorted affair and how Diane is married to a brutish cop, John. The other woman is Carla, a photography artist.

The snooping doesn't end here as he follows Diane back home to her husband.

Wow this guy is good, even at a cop's house he is able to be completely invisible while staying totally in sight.

Fine, it's okay to show the heterosexual sex, but not the women. Whatever 80s HBO.

Arthur takes this newly developing story to his agent who loves the writing because the conversations seem so real. Strange they didn't seem real when they were acted out, but okay. However, it doesn't have an ending. Even Hitchhiker episodes have those!

Instead of making one up, he decides to try to make one happen using this love triangle to his advantage. He starts by calling Michael Madsen and pretending to be his wife's lover.

He even tries to send flowers to Diane. She gets angry at Carla and Carla lets her know it wasn't her doing this.

Ooo back rubs. Steamy stuff. It's a little strange this woman has this naked photo of her girlfriend just facing out the window. Arthur uses this to take photo of just the cutout, instead of the women getting cozy on the couch.

He breaks into Diane and John's house. You'd think a cop would have better security than this.

He puts some device in the phone...I'll record everything!

He also places the picture of a picture on the bed. This triggers an argument with the couple where predictably, John beats on his wife while Arthur listens.

On further examination, John gets a clue to where the photo may have come from and gets the address of Carla, while still thinking Diane is having an affair with another man.

What ensues is a somewhat tame chase scene, where John, Arthur and Diane all speed towards Carla's place to warn her/save her.

I have to say there were some interesting camera angles on some of the transportation shots. I mean, this was directed by the same guy who directed Teen Wolf Too, so we are dealing with some expertise.

John puts his police siren on, but still manages to fall behind in the chase as he crashes into another car.

This give Arthur the advantage as he reaches Carla and scares the crap out of her by yelling at her, telling her not to be scared of him.

Diane comes over soon after and the two are reunited.

But realize they have no idea who this creepy guy screaming at them is.

Then John shows up with a gun and assumes Arthur to be the lover.

Arthur tells John that his wife is actually having an affair with a woman, and John pistol whips him. I'm not sure if this is because he doesn't believe him, or because he's mad his wife is a lesbian. Carla clocks John over the head with a bottle.

Cop sirens are heard as Arthur grabs the gun and in a very dazed state, stumbles out of the apartment.

The cops yell at him to drop the gun and instead he makes this stupid face.

And of course the cops start shooting at him like crazy.

And then:

Nothing.

It just ends with this freeze frame of him as you hear gun shots! I guess they had spent all their budget on that car crash (credit to that joke goes to my significant other). Ah well, it ends up being the most unintentionally funny ending ever. I was waiting for the Police Squad credit music to come on.

Oh wait, not over yet, I forgot about him. The Hitchhiker wanders in to tell us "Arthur Brown thought he could play people like instruments. He rearranged their lives like so many notes and used their emotions as chords. But then somebody came along that didn't appreciate Arthur's music...and put an end to Arthur's song."

Wouldn't that have made sense if he was actually a musician and not a wannabe John Travolta in Blow Out? This music analogy seems to be for a different episode, it doesn't seem to fit. All in all, an okay episode. I would have liked to see more Michael Madsen and more same-sex romance. Maybe we'll see it sometime on The Hitchhiker, but I won't hold my breath.

[thehitchhikerguide]

Season 2, Episode 7: A Time for Rifles

Well this one was a real dud. There were just long stretches of dialogue where just nothing happened. Despite this, there was a strange ending that I will get into...just need to slog through this a bit.

The episode begins like some made-for-tv movie with a photo and music over the opening credits. Who are these people?

That name looks familiar.

They stay on this happy photo for the whole beginning. This is not very Hitchhiker-like to not start with some action.

Suddenly we are inside some sort of restaurant/truck stop. It appears to be the middle of the day, but I guess business is slow? Then all of a sudden:

...two people do it on the pool table. Well I guess we didn't want the credits to spoil this moment, so now that photo scene makes more sense.

Someone appears to be watching them from outside.

He is actually in the woods, so not sure he can actually see what's in the restaurant. And is that a dead fox in the shot? I actually can't tell. But what is he looking at anyway?

Oh it's just the hitchhiker. Hold your fire!

The Hitchhiker walks over the the truck stop...wait is he going to go inside and catch those people in the act?

No, I guess he is going to talk to us.

This time he brought props to emphasize that "roots run deep in this land and so do passions." He breaks the plant in half to further let us know that "they can twist and turn you like a fever running wild through the brain."

Okay, that prologue makes no sense. Is he still talking about roots?

After some more exposition, we find out the people on the pool table were Rae and her husband's friend Joe. And the guy with the rifle is Rae's husband Lew.

Wait a minute, I know this guy. He's the guy that gets cucked by Burt Reynolds in White Lightning. Here is he getting cucked again.

Some old man visits the truck stop and starts talking about war. The men are all veterans - Joe and Lew were in Vietnam and this guy was in World War II. He rants about how the government should have let these guys finish business in Vietnam. This is getting boring.

But I guess it triggers some idea in Lew and he wants all three of them to go shining deer. Apparently that is when you shine a light in a deer's face so it's hypnotized and then you can shoot it easily.

Later on Lew scares Rae while she is making a bologna sandwich.

But I guess this gets her in the mood.

Something something, I got your bologna right here.

Rae really doesn't want to go to this deer shinning party...I mean shining. But she goes anyway.

Through some long boring conversation, we learn that the crazy ranting old man did stir Lew's urge to kill and Joe thinks he and Rae are the targets. Lew shoots at the lights Joe is shining for the deer. Then Rae decides she wants to talk to him. And she brings her flashlight.

I wonder what will happen.

Oh no, Lew shot Rae dead. He seemed to then want to kill Joe, but he ends up being fine with everything and they both just decide to take off, with the body of course.

Oh look, it's the Hitchhiker to sum up the story. And we somehow have 2:15 minutes left on the clock. He tells us that "Joe and Lew are going home now and the way they figure it, their secret is safe and there is nothing much else to do. But if they could just see what is around the next bend, they'd know that Rae's isn't the only life that will have ended tonight." That's strange, what did he mean...

Oh dear God!

Haha! He is deer-shined by the headlights.

And then this final shot. So I guess they died too, just like the prophecy said. Wow.

Well I guess it was kind of funny that the Hitchhiker came in to let us know what was going to happen. Sort of like he made that happen...this isn't the first time he's caused some sort of horrific death.

And that is it, for the episode. Maybe they should have called this The Deer Hunter...then again they may not want to get sued. That shining stuff was already questionable.

But what was all that stuff about Vietnam? I mean what does any of this have to do with Vietnam?

[thehitchhikerguide]

Season 2, Episode 6: Videodate

Let me start out by saying this is one of the best episodes I've seen so far. The sleeze, the revenge plot, crazy 80's visuals...all perfect for a Hitchhiker episode.

The famous guest star this week is Shannon Tweed, known for being in some not-so-recognizable movies and also for being Gene Simmon's wife. I know her from Hot Dog...The Movie, which I guess is a must see for anyone who has ever been a skier or just likes a lot of full-frontal in their movies. The main male character is played by Gregg Henry, who looks to have a decent acting career, but I didn't recognize him. I thought he maybe looked like a low rent James Woods.

We start out with a woman who has very 80's hair watching a video dating service tape of a guy who is making it out to be his first time doing something like this. She is charmed by his vulnerability.

You can see by her joker-like smile, he has sealed the deal. He takes her out to an art exhibit and I have to say this is something I would love to go to even now. There is an area where you can smash a TV:

I mean, that is a really fun date!

Then we see the exhibit of a hot new artist named Monique. Wait, what? It's always weird when I hear other characters on TV with my name, since I don't hear it too often. I guess with a Canadian show, it was just a matter of time.

This is an art exhibit I would love to go to. People with TV heads that play some sort of strange video. It's creepy and disturbing and I'm all in for it.

This one represents the woman TV head's fantasy of running off with another man (shown on the TV). Of course our male character decides to man-splain to his date and also mention that he knows the artist. She seems to be watching this conversation behind him, unamused.

At least I think that is the artist...right? I guess they don't say but it seemed obvious at this point.

By now, the date is going really well.

Well that was a cool art exhibit so I kind of get it, even though he looks like a creep whose hair is just hanging on for dear life. She seems pretty vulnerable and mentions to him that she doesn't want this to be a one night stand. He tells her what she wants to hear...

...then immediately rushes her into a cab. After she is gone, we find out that wasn't even his apartment! He has been paying his friend who is a doorman to use people's apartments for these sleezy videodates.

As he drive away, we see something we haven't seen in awhile.

Oh yeah I almost forgot, there was also this weird image and some video game noise. Not sure what this is, his car is in a video game now?

Haha, as usual, perfect butt is on display. Man, he looks like he could double for George Michael in this shot. Anyways, we see the main character interacting with the Hitchhiker. He refuses to give him a ride.

Also, we are over 8 minutes into the episode before he shows up! We learn that this main dude is named Jack Rhodes. He has a lot of disguises and thinks he is the master of the illusion. But Jack is not the only one with tricks up his sleeve. Yes! Comeuppance! Comeuppance!

So this guy Jack is actually a salesman at an electronics store. He likes to brag to his coworkers about these conquests.

Co-workers Joey McIntyre and Wallace Shawn are not impressed.

We see the female video artist at the store as he is making a sale using his dynamic personality. She is still observing his behavior with disgust. When he gets home he notices a package at his door.

Wait a minute, am I watching Lost Highway now?

We get a good look at his apartment and his "last known photo" board and notice something a little weird.

Nice, huh? But what I'm not showing is that he has a section on this board labeled "foxes" and there are no photos under there.

He settles in to watch the mysterious tape.

Oh no, why does it look like Videodrome now? How many movies are in this?

Honestly I would be crapping my pants right now.

I mean I know it's a hot babe, but this video is still very disturbing.

Anyways, it's Monique, the artist in her underwear. She is saying her name is Barbara and that she wants to go on a date with Jack. Does he think this is from the video dating service, because I wouldn't think they just plop unmarked tapes in front of his door. I thought you had to go to a place to watch the tapes. Well despite this, she's a fox and we've established he's never been with a fox so he is up for anything.

Hmm, now it looks like Blue Velvet. I should probably stop obsessing over these movie references.

Their first date is playing video games. He plays a round and then she sets out to beat his score. She is the original gamer girl! Maybe she WAS creating a videogame from videotaping his car.

I immediately recognize the video game sounds to be from the game Centipede, however the game they show is shooting the letter E for some reason.

Maybe it's also an eye test, who knows. Defeat Enron!

She cuts the date off with the promise that they will see each other again. She invites him to her place for dinner. The building looks run down and this elevator...

I know, but now it looks like we are in an Adrian Lyne movie! Okay I'll stop.

She's cooking him dinner and he is being a total gentleman.

It's not a Hitchhiker episode without someone leering.

Monique changes in a dominatrix-type outfit under her clothes. They have dinner and retire to the bedroom. Jack immediately lets Monique tie him to the bed.

She reveals her sexy outfit and asks if he wants to play a game called Blastoff. I mean, it sounds pretty sexy right? Sounds like code for something else?

She puts on this neon metronome and says he has 1 minute to free himself or he will blastoff. Pretty cryptic.

This thing keeps booping faster and faster as Monique explains that she knows how he treats other women. Jack is upset and sounds like he wants to kill her, demanding she free him. The metronome goes even faster and then...

...his genitals explode? It looks like he dies in ball of flames. Wow what an ending!

Oh wait there's more.

I guess she had been filming this whole thing for her newest art installation. The people watching the exhibit seem confused, maybe they've never seen an episode of The Hitchhiker before.

There is an announcement showing the artist Monique is there and we get this big reveal.

It's Barbara! I mean, I knew she was the artist all along, were we only supposed to get that now?

Anyways, The Hitchhiker is leaving the art museum telling us that Jack Rhodes used the state of the art in video to get what he wanted (really, VCRs state of the art?) but when he had to do it for the sake of art , he went to pieces. Haha! Good one Page! An actual joke! I think he's enjoying Jack's suffering a little more than he should.

Let that be a lesson to everyone...pick up hitchhikers.

As I said before, this was a great episode that had it all, even the confusing ending. I mean, what actually happened to Jack and how did he explode like that? It's episodes like this that keeps me coming back for more, so until next time, be nice to people named Monique!

[thehitchhikerguide]

Season 2, Episode 5: Petty Thieves

Here we are, another tale of the mean streets. It's funny though, as gritty as these city landscapes are, they always seem a bit too clean. They did try to dirty up this Canadian city though and it's somewhat believable.

The episode starts with some great "street dance" music.

That's a pretty sweet Walkman this guy has got. The background music made me think he was going to start breakdancing and I was all for it.

Instead he just runs and steals this bag lady's bag.

Although its not all it seems as it seems to be an elaborate scheme where the bag lady makes a drop in the trash can and some other guy picks it up. But the weird thing is, the Walkman guy was there to distract the cops and get them to chase him. What if he got caught?

And here is our hero, Mickey who actually doesn't seem to have done a thing during this, except walk around like an idiot. And what is up with him, is he just three children and a giant coat?

After this entertaining opening, the Hitchhiker steps from behind a tree. Has he been hiding here the whole time?

He tells us that Mickey does what he has to, to survive these tough streets. Even here there is love and honor and if he betrays it, he could upset the balance and turn his soul inside out.

What the hell? Is his innards going to become his outwards? That would be an interesting twist.

Mickey and his girlfriend Pearl seem to be squatters in some crappy apartment. He is all excited to tell her about the job he just did for Mr. Strega, but she is upset he is getting involved in criminal activity. By the way, Strega is Italian for witch, but actually I think he spells it Stregga so not sure if that changes the meaning.

Pearl apparently has a pretty big doll collection. I wonder if any of them look like Mickey's mother?

This was the best scene in the show. He stands up and says "We ain't normal!" referring to the fact she is a hooker with a bunch of creepy dolls in the apartment. She informs him that she is no longer hooking. She also said that they are like one guy. I wonder what that means. They end up having sex and this was interesting...

It looks like this doll is on his ass. This other doll was totally shocked.

Mickey brings Pearl to his meeting with Mr. Stregga as requested by him. Mickey wants to be a bagman and Mr. Stregga wants to sleep with Pearl. This ends up being the deal they make, which of course Pearl is thrilled with.

Wow, what a scum bag.

Back at the apartment, Pearl is in a state. She burns her hand and does not even feel it.

Kind of looks like the stigmata. She kept repeating that they are "one guy" while in this drug induced condition. I can't figure out what this means.

She meets up with Mr. Stregga...

Ha ha! He's clearly never seen a woman before.

Now Mickey's earned the right to be the bagman. He pretends to be a fisherman on the pier until he gets the signal to open up the sacks with the drugs.

Wow that was easy. But what's this?

It looks like some undercover cops are on to this scheme. They decide to make their move tomorrow. I mean, why wouldn't they just arrest this guy now? They have him in sight and how do they know another job is going down tomorrow?

The job went so well that Mickey thought Mr. Stregga would make this a regular thing, but he doesn't usually use the same guy twice. Mickey takes this well. Just kidding! He decides to instead to show up anyways and force Pearl to be the bagman. He knocks out the guy who is supposed to be doing the job and for some reason we never see that other guy again.

The cops move in and chase Pearl, while Mickey just yells at her to run.

Mickey shoots one of the cops. There is no way he is going to get away with this.

The other cop shoots Pearl. They are totally screwed.

But somehow they limp away from the cops. How did they not get caught?

Mickey proves to be even more of a scumbag by letting Pearl just die on his couch without getting her medical attention. She kept repeating again they are "one guy." Seriously what does that mean?

Mickey smashes a doll against the wall.

With Pearl dead, he decides to pin the whole thing on her so Stregga's goons will go after her instead of him. This guy really deserves what's coming to him.

Looks like some bad stuff is coming his way.

Suddenly, he notices his hand is burned. This looks familiar.

As he is running, he starts to look different.

Well that makes no sense.

Oh no he's getting boobs!

Mickey has made the full transformation into Pearl when Stregga's guy finds him.

Here comes the blow torch.

Oh I get it, they are one guy! Wait what?

The Hitchhiker emerges from the shadows again and says that Pearl loved Mickey like no one else (I can't see why) and they were one against the odds. But when he used her badly and suffered her fate and was tried by his own conscience (what conscience?) and sentenced by an unwritten law. What law would that be?

This one was just okay. The twist was sort of interesting, even though it made no sense. I'm not sure what the deal with the dolls was though. I thought maybe he was going to turn into a doll. But I guess we've seen that before...

The next episode looks really great, so I'm pretty excited for it. Until then, stay away from dolls and blow torches.

[thehitchhikerguide]

Season 2, Episode 4: And If We Dream

This episode is not that great, but I did like it better on second viewing than the first time I watched it. I wasn't sure what to expect after the opening credits.

Cornfields? Oh no is this a Field of Dreams rip off?

Wait a minute, where do I know that name from? Oh right he was that actor from that Christian show 7th Heaven who got into some troubles. I had to actually look up what he did because I had thought it had something to do with child pornography. Turns out he actually exposed himself to a couple of really young girls under the age of 14. Oof I wish I didn't know this.

We open with the main character actually driving the Hitchhiker and dropping him off. I guess all that time in the city and he needed to spend some time in Kansas. Or at least the Canadian version of Kansas.

Here we find out our "hero" is Todd Field a high school teacher that is about to meet temptation and if he gives in to it, the lesson he'll learn is one he never dreamed possible. Dreamed, heh heh.

Temptation? I'm hoping this is not going to hit too close to home.

Why is the Hitchhiker walking in a graveyard? Is this where he wanted to be dropped off? At least it's understandable how the Hitchhiker would know about Todd, since he did spend some time with him in the car. However how he knows the dream stuff...well that can't be explained.

Oh God I really hope this isn't a picture of his victim he's holding up.

Turns out this guy is a photography teacher in a rural high school. But he wants to do so much more. A mysterious wind blows into the classroom...

And knocks some photos on the floor so one photo is revealed.

Intriguing. He talks about it in class and finds out that the photo belongs to a sexy student named Roseanne. She bothers him for a ride home.

Get a good look Costanza?

I see where this is going...young teacher, the object of school girl fantasy. Also of note, is the incredibly skinny 80's tie he is wearing here. Haha, you can see why that style died.

He goes home and then is an asshole by talking over his wife as she is trying to have a professional call. He is reading some rejection letter loudly, while she tries to have a phone call with her actual job. That's helpful!

He looks through Roseanne's photos and realized she is a stalker.

Now it's time for the saddest school fair I've ever seen.

Roseanne takes a photo of some horse asses.

Then whatever this madness is, which looks like some band playing in a cornfield. Todd the teacher sees Roseanne and talks to her, probably because there are only 10 people at this thing.

A Magician shoots at a balloon which becomes a bird somehow.

Well at least the food looks good. Seriously though, who is going to eat all those rotisserie chickens?

And what is with this bright yellow cotton candy? Is it corn flavored? Is this something they have in Kansas?

One thing leads to another and they end up becoming intimate in a barn somewhere. I'm very thankful this woman doesn't look underage even if she is playing a character who is.

Yeah, this was pretty predictable. He tells her she tastes of peaches when he kisses her. I bet he says that to all the girls. Hmm maybe that was peach flavored cotton candy?

She seems pretty taken with this teacher, as she dances around her porch in the middle of the night.

Her mother comes out and tells her that when ever she gets worked up like this, there is always trouble. Now, we did learn earlier that she had to suddenly move and change schools, but we do not know of the details.

Full moon, eh? The witchy imagery is getting pretty strong.

Woah, I wasn't kidding. Here she talks to his picture while some mysterious object is next to her.

Great now it's Nightmare on Elm Street. Whatever she did, it causes him to have a dream of her where he gives her his ring. You think well it's only a dream, but then...

She teleported the ring through the dream. Kind of makes that shooting balloon Magician look like a hack.

He is totally freaked out because he doesn't know how she was able to take his ring in his dream.

Sorry but why is there a revolving door going into this classroom? It doesn't look like they are coming from the outside.

Well anyways, his warning doesn't work because the next night she summons powers of a Christmas decoration to work her magic again.

Seriously, I had one of these growing up. I never knew it had the power to affect other people's dreams.

They dream they are on a carousel this time.

Ha ha ha! I think that is that skinny tie from the other day! Funny it made it into her sexual fantasies.

Back at school he is pleading with her that it was a mistake they were together and to stop making him dream about her. She listens to him this time.

Just kidding, she is even more intense. In fact it looks like there are three of her now. For his next dream, she pulls him into the room from that photo he liked so much. But when he tries to leave, he is unable to.

She can be heard saying "You can't go back now. You are mine forever." Creepy stuff.

He sort of fades a bit like a ghost.

And then it just ends. The teacher is not coming back so they are having a substitute come in. I guess he is never seen again?

The Hitchhiker can be heard in voiceover that Todd yielded to temptation with the wrong girl, whose dreams were stronger than he was.

I thought they were going to show the photo again with him randomly in it. But I guess she didn't trap him in the photo but in the dream...so what happens to him when she is not dreaming? So many questions.

Well with that abrupt ending, I have no idea how to end this blog entry, so I will leave you with this guy.

The supernatural elements were sort of interesting, although I can see it being an easy one to fall asleep to. Here's hoping the next episode is a bit more crazy.

[thehitchhikerguide]

Season 2, Episode 3: Face to Face

Okay this one was a bit better than the last episode. When I saw there was an episode about a transgender character in the 1980's I was a bit worried. But I think for the most part, it didn't do too bad a job with it.

This one starts off a bit artistic with juxtaposing shots. First we see a doctor getting ready for surgery.

That's Robert Vaughn, who was a very well known actor and was in a lot of movies from the 1960's & 1970's. Being the age I am, I mostly know him from Superman III and as a spokesperson for some ambulance-chasing lawyers from Boston. But his IMDB page shows a very full career.

He seems to be giving a monologue about how he is a sculptor like Michelangelo (only with skin).

There was another notable star in this one.

I had never heard of this person but it's a special appearance! I guess she's an actress who is famous mostly for B-movies. If that's the case, this show seems right up her alley. The hospital scenes are cut with scenes of a mystery woman getting ready for the day.

Oooh, nice nails.

Back at the hospital, another doctor (or nurse?) gets horny for Dr. Love.

Wow, not obvious at all.

Turns out the mystery woman is Carmen Sandiego. Where in the world?

We don't even get the Hitchhiker until 3:25 into the show, which is a pretty long opening. This is the first one where he just wanders on screen without interacting with any of the characters. The show has gone full Twilight Zone.

The doctor is Dr. Christopher Hamilton, who is a plastic surgeon with ambition and a sharp scalpel. He sees a face and he wants to change it. But unless he looks deeper, there are some things he's not going to see, like a dangerous smile even on the most perfect face.

Huh? Is this some sort of riddle?

When this woman walks into the hospital, it appears she is disfigured as people recoil and a young kid points and laughs.

But when we finally see the mystery woman, she looks like...

A bit masculine, but nothing hideous. Nina Russell, a makeup artist, is meeting with this doctor because she has had gender re-assignment surgery, but wants plastic surgery on her face to make her look more like a woman. He takes the job but not without telling her that the best makeup looks like the woman is wearing no makeup at all. Funny thing to say to a makeup artist.

So this is where it pleasantly surprised me. The doctor treats Nina with respect, addressing her as a woman. However the episode is not perfect and I will get into where it kind goes into not-so-great territory. This is the 80s though.

Woah this guy's assistant is a bargain basement Eugene Levy.

Back at Dr. Hamilton's apartment, things are really heating up. Ick, what does she see in this guy?

The ladies' love Dr. Hamilton. I'm guessing this is the B-movie actress? And what is that behind that tree? Was that other doctor stalking him?

Dr. Gold is introduced to this famous actress that happens to be one of Dr. Hamilton's patients. He is totally star struck.

Those eyebrows deserve a Golden Globe.

We are back at the apartment and woah what's going on here? Drugs and cognac, definitely the perfect combo for a plastic surgeon. Dr. Hamilton is partying with the B-movie actress even though he has surgery in the morning.

Can't forget the strawberries!

Here he uses his scalpel to cut off her bra straps. Hey those Frederick's of Hollywood bras are not cheap! Well actually, they kind of are. Nevermind, cut away.

Back at the hospital, Dr. Eyebrows has a conversation with Nina about the surgery. She is totally confident that Dr. Hamilton will do a great job. This doctor doesn't seem too sure.

We get actually a pretty touching speech from Nina here, going into details about her life and how she felt like she was in the wrong body from age 6. So far nothing really to cringe at.

Dr. Hamilton gets a rude awakening from a phone call wondering why he's not in surgery. Uh oh, what time is it?

Oh God, no one else sees this? This can't be good.

His eyebrows say it all here, that was not a good cut.

Dr. Eyebrows is here for the big unveiling and informs Nina that her doctor is getting on a plane to Paris right now. He starts to remove the bandages and...

That's not a good reaction. She asks for a mirror and is shocked at what she sees, however we don't see it!

Dr. Hamilton is at the airport, flying to Paris, when he spots another attractive woman he wants to bang.

A sexy flight attendant. Seriously what is the appeal of this guy? She entices him with her foot...

Why was this a thing in the 80's? Did everyone have a foot fetish back then.

When that doesn't work she decides to steal his boarding pass so he can't get on his plane.

When she shows him she has it, he asks where they should go. She of course suggests her place.

Wait a minute, her place is a plane? Those pre-911 days when the airport was just one giant un-supervised playground.

He tells her she is beautiful and then she says the best makeup is like no makeup at all. Now where did I hear that before....

Yes! I knew someone was going to rip off their face!

I'm impressed she had enough time to put a new face on when she was just recovering in the hospital a few minutes ago. If I learned anything from Mrs. Doubtfire, it's that a montage like that usually takes several hours.

Now we see her actual face. Ummm...is this the dangerous smile on the most perfect face? Because I don't think that's accurate.

Oof that's pretty rough. It looks like Edward Scissorhands is her doctor. This is where it takes a not-so-great turn as it shows the transgender character as a scalpel wielding maniac. She attacks the doctor's face.

Hmm actually he doesn't look too bad here. Maybe he is a good plastic surgeon.

Oh great now he's Two-Face. He is still reciting that damn monologue from the beginning. Or actually it looks like he is writing it down for some reason.

The ending cuts to the Hitchhiker telling us that Dr. Hamilton took an oath to heal and care but when all you care about is feeling good, there are things you are going to miss...like vengeance working out its own kind of justice.

Yup he definitely deserved it.