taegi, "i just tripped and fell face first into your crotch, god end my life now please.”
somehow i think yoongi would be the more embarrassed one
if you ask him about it later, yoongi will tell you it’s happened purely because both of them were drunk off their heads.
alright, well, yoongi isn’t drunk at all. the party is quite boring actually and he’s nowhere near interested in finding a random person to make out with like everyone else (read: his friends) so he’s left mostly to his own devices, alienating himself on a far away couch with an untouched bottle of beer.
he doesn’t expect anything interesting to happen for a while, or until the very end when he finally manages to locate hoseok and namjoon in this huge mansion of a house (do any of them even know the owner of it?) so the yelp he lets out when someone’s nose collides with his belt buckle is purely justified.
“ow!” he hears his attacker proclaim, pulling away only to realize his longish hair is stuck in yoongi’s zipper. and somehow, the stranger even manages to flip his head around so he’s facing yoongi, all pleading puppy eyes and pouty lips, mouthing a desperate “help me.”
yoongi’s momentarily stunned - by this ridiculous situation, by the boy’s cute (cute? has he actually thought that?) expression - so he doesn’t to anything for five long seconds. and then the boy starts screaming.
“oh shit!” yoongi yells, dropping the bottle he’d been holding in surprise. all eyes turn to them and - boy what a promiscuous position this is. if hoseok and namjoon walk in, he’s screwed for the rest of his life, “shit, shit, i’ll help you just stop fucking screaming!”
as if he’s been cut off air, the boy shuts up. he’s even patient when yoongi carefully untangles his hair from his zipper, paying special attention to the fluffy locks so they wouldn’t break. the boy is wonderfully limp in his hold, even sighing for a moment and closing his eyes, very much resembling a cuddly cat. it gets yoongi a little flustered.
“there we go,” he says after a moment, detaching the boy from his crotch, “all free.”
“thank you, hyung,” the boy nods, resting on his knees so he can place his chin comfortably on the armrest of the couch yoongi’s sitting on, “sorry about that.”
“don’t mention it,” yoongi murmurs, looking everywhere but at the boy’s freakishly large eyes burning holes into him. thankfully, the public’s interest has significantly died down but yoongi’s heart is still beating rapidly, overwhelmed from what in the world’s name just happened.
“i thought this stuff only happens in movies but i guess i was wrong,” the boy’s box like grin blinds him, “since i’ve already had my head between your legs, i think introductions are due. i’m taehyung.” he extends an arm for a handshake and yoongi reluctantly accepts.
“i’m yo-”
“-ongi hyung, i know,” taehyung finishes for him and yoongi’s jaw elegantly falls open.
and then it clicks. who else hangs out with younger kids at the campus? who else has been determined to get yoongi laid for months now?
“hoseok’s sent you to keep me company, hasn’t he?” he sighs, glancing at the broken, wasted bottle of beer on the floor. he should’ve gotten wasted when he’s had the chance.
“yep!” taehyung answers excitedly, “and boy, are we off to a great start!”