Tomorrow is my birthday and it is really going to suck. The worst part about having a parent die, is that every significant day of the year brings back their memory. At 10:38 am CST my mom would call me for as long as I can recall and tell me what a privilege it was to have had me. This is the first year that will not happen and I am now on a track chasing down her age, which I hope to surpass. One of the wisest humans I have had the privilege to know, if only obliquely told me that the first year after losing someone, that one is in a state of insanity. I look forward to experiencing the rest of this craziness but also will cherish the routine settling so that I can experience the present as well as dance with her death. #paliative #mom #birthday (at Red Hook, Brooklyn)