LGBTQ+ Shepards Week: Come In (A Coming Out Story)
A/N: This is really messy, I’m sorry about that. I wrote it late last night and ealry this morning and I didn’t really proofread it just so I could get this out there. It also ended up with some smutty stuff in it so if that makes you uncomfortable I’m sorry about that. It’s also my first time writing anything remotely smutty so don’t cringe too much while reading it.
Ethan sat in front of his terminal, scrolling absent-mindedly through the outline for a research assignment in his Biomedical Engineering course, only a few words registering as he skimmed. Medi-Gel… First Contact… Peer-Review. He excelled in mechanics, chemistry, even advanced calculus, but biology and medicine evaded him, no matter how hard he hit the books. He folded his arms on the desk in front of him and lowered his head in defeat, his forehead resting on his forearms.
The door slid open behind him, and a young man stepped into the room, careful to be quiet and not draw attention to himself. He stepped behind Ethan and placed a hand on his shoulder, “How’s it going?” he asked, bending over Ethan and kissing his head.
“God, how are you so good at BioMed? I have no clue how I’m going to write this paper. Hell, I have no clue what I can even write it on,” Ethan lamented, lifting his head and turning to look at the man behind him.
“It wouldn’t be fair if you were at the top of every class,” he chuckled, placing his hand on Ethan’s cheek and lifting his head. He brushed his lips over Ethan’s, gently biting his lower lip and moving his hand back to run through Ethan’s hair.
Ethan leaned into the kiss briefly and reached a hand up over the other man’s neck. Ethan stood from his chair, moving his other hand around the other man’s back, pulling their bodies close before releasing the kiss with a mournful sigh, “God, you have no idea how much I would love to do this right now, Nate,” he paused, turning his gaze down briefly before the other man, Nate, tipped his chin up, “But I have to at least try to pass BioMed.”
Nate playfully nipped Ethan’s lip and smirked, “Who says I can’t help you? I happen to be pretty good at…” he quickly flicked his eyes down to their bodies, still pressed against each other, “biology.”
With a smile, Ethan shook his head, “You know what, you can teach me all about biology after I’ve finished my first draft and if you’re lucky I might even tutor you in mechanics.” He gave a sly smile as his hand quickly dropped to Nate’s butt and gave a quick squeeze.
“As great as that delivery was, you really missed a great opportunity there. It would’ve been hotter if you said chemistry instead,” Nate chuckled a little, “I don’t know if I can be with someone if they can’t even see such an obvious pickup line!” he lamented, dramatically throwing his arms up.
“I’m nothing if not unpredictable,” Ethan retorted, playfully backhanding Nate’s chest.
“And yet, here you are on a Friday night: in your dorm room, writing a paper.” Nate joked, moving to Ethan’s side and throwing his arm over Ethan’s shoulders.
“Oh, am I? Last I checked my boyfriend had rudely interrupted my honourable effort at academic achievement for a booty call.” Ethan smiled, turning himself around so that he and Nate were face to face again, bodies even tighter this time, if it were even possible. His hands slid down Nate’s back, flirting with his waistband.
“Well, now you’re making me feel bad,” Nate mumbled as Ethan pressed their lips together
“I can think of a few ways you can make it up to me,” Ethan snickered under his breath as he nibbled Nate’s ear, while at the same time, slipping his hands past Nate’s waistband, grasping his butt firmly.
Nate could only grunt in acknowledgment, his mouth once again tied up in a deep kiss. Ethan slowly moved himself and Nate toward the bed, pulling his hands out of Nate’s pants as they hit the bedframe and pushing his boyfriend down onto the crisply folded sheets, releasing the kiss only momentarily so that he could pull his shirt over his head and throw it into a corner somewhere. Ethan straddled Nate’s waist, planting his hands on either side of Nate’s head and leaning down into the kiss again, their tongues quickly finding each other.
Ethan began tugging up Nate’s white tank top, the two of them sitting up in unison to ease the process. They broke their kiss as the hem made its way over Nate’s head and in the interest of reuniting their lips as soon as possible, Ethan hooked the front of the shirt behind Nate’s neck rather than dealing with pulling the shirt over Nate’s head.
Nate’s hands began to play with Ethan’s belt, struggling for any dexterity so far away. Ethan instinctively pulled himself forward to make Nate’s job easier, unfortunately ending the kiss. As Nate’s hands worked the buckle, which he found was deceivingly complex when he was not the one wearing it, Ethan began to massage his chest, gently rubbing his nipples. The flicking and massaging, coupled with the sudden release of pressure as Nate managed to open his pants elicited a moan from deep in his throat.
Nate’s fingers teased the waistband of Ethan’s underwear, dancing along the edge, gently brushing the skin underneath.
“Just fucking do it already,” Ethan moaned, leaning forward, his torso hanging over Nate’s head, his arms splayed over the far end of the bed.
Nate chuckled as he wrapped his fingers around the waistband, slowly pulling back, Ethan’s increasingly hard cock resisting the briefs slow move.
DING DING DING DING
Nate released the waistband in shock at the unusually loud chime from the terminal, snapping it back against Ethan’s body.
“Ow! Shit,” Ethan cried, rubbing his waist. They both turned their heads to the terminal on the other side of the room to investigate the source of the disturbance.
INCOMING CALL: HANNAH SHEPARD
“Fucking hell,” Ethan said, pulling himself off of Nate while rebuckling his pants. Nate pulled himself into a sitting position and pulled his shirt over his head, laughing at Ethan’s frenzied search for his shirt which had somehow disappeared during their makeout.
“You need a ha-” Nate started, hoisting himself off the bed, offering to help Ethan find his shirt before being interrupted,
“I need you to leave.” Ethan said firmly, turning to Nate, and intense stare on his face. Nate’s jaw hung open, unsure about how to respond to his boyfriend of 3 months telling him to leave so abruptly. Ethan sighed, turning back to his search, “My mom doesn’t know about us. She… she doesn’t know about me.” Nate swallowed, still not sure how to respond or how to feel but running to leave nonetheless. Spying his shirt tucked behind a mess of items on his desk, Ethan leaned to grab it, bumping his terminal in the process. Nate had turned back, opening his mouth to say something and say the video call had been answered, unknowingly when Ethan bumped the terminal. Aware of the fact that Ethan didn’t want him to be seen, Nate quickly jumped into the closet, which was closer to him and already opened. The irony was not lost on him.
“Hello? Ethan? Is there a reason all I’m seeing is your bare chest right now?” Hannah’s voice called through the terminal.
Grabbing the shirt and quickly throwing it over his head, Ethan dropped into the chair, “Hey mom! Sorry, I was just finishing some endurance training.”
“In your room?” he saw his mother cock an eyebrow.
“You don’t get top marks for not doing work on your own time.” He smiled, running a nervous hand through his hair.
“I take it your classes are going well.” Hannah smiled
“Yeah, yeah. I have this, uh, paper I have to write for Biomedical Eng that’s looking a little daunting right now but once I figure out a topic it should be good.”
“That seems a little presumptuous. Don’t count your eggs before they hatch, Eth.”
“It’s fine, mom.” Ethan stared at his mother’s image, “Why are you calling? Don’t you leave on a mission in like… 5 hours? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”
“I’m a little restless. Besides, you just started your training 2 months ago and you were traveling around Earth for months before that. I figure a check-in with my only child wouldn’t hurt.”
“I visited before training started, mom.”
“For 2 days. It hardly counted, not when I spent 19 years raising you,” Hannah shook her head and laughed at her son, “So, would I know any of your instructors?”
“There’s a couple of old guys here who probably saw the Protheans still breathing that you might recognize from vids about the First Contact War, but it’s a different school than you went to, so I doubt you’d know anyone here.”
“You’re making friends, I hope?”
“How old do you think I am, mom? I don’t exactly need help making friends.”
“I know how you get sometimes. Don’t hole up in your room the entire time your there. Go drinking with other recruits, find a jogging buddy. Just… don’t isolate yourself for the sake of your marks. You’ll do well regardless. But you can get lonely just as easily.”
“I’m not isolated, mom. I was just… training with a friend before you called.”
Hannah relented, raising her hands. After a short silence she spoke again, “So, has anybody special caught your eye?” she grinned, enjoying the opportunity to
“Well, uh,” Ethan began, his eyes flicking in the direction of the closet. Swallowing his reservations and steeling himself, he continued, “I’m seeing someone, actually.”
Hannah’s interest was obviously piqued, her eyebrows raised and her head tilted to the side, “You’re seeing someone? That can’t be all information you’re giving me, Ethan.” Hannah chided jokingly. Ethan could practically feel her elbow nudging him between his ribs.
“Well, it’s a boy. Man. Guy,” he sputtered, his chest tight with apprehension, “I’m- I’m dating a guy, mom.”
Hannah rolled her eyes, “Thank you for the wealth of information, that has really sated my curiosity.”
Ethan struggled to think about how to describe him, “Well, he’s, uhh,”
“Is he a recruit, too? Regs exist for a reason, you know.”
“I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been born if some people hadn’t broken regs,” Ethan joked weakly, forcing a bit of a smile. His chest felt a little more at ease, given her overlooking of the confession, but part of him still waited anxiously for the other shoe to drop.
“Do as I say, not as I do,” she smiled, through a tightly drawn mouth, her tone still aiming for friendly and overshooting to cheesy mom from the vids trying to be her kid’s best friend, “Does this boy-guy-man have a name?”
Ethan panicked, not quite ready to confess the full details of his newfound romance, “Uh, Brandon. Brandon Kee. He’s training for science escorts.”
Hannah leaned back in her chair and hummed, a little skeptical given Ethan’s wide eyes and tight shoulders. She sat forward again, brushing her hand along her hairline, a useless gesture given that her hair was in a tight bun, as it had been for almost all of Ethan’s life. “Are you using any labels?”
Ah, the other shoe, Ethan thought adjusting himself in his chair, readying himself for what might happen next.
“I just want to make sure I don’t use the wrong one or make any assumptions when I talk about it. If I talk about it. It’s totally up to you, of course,” she clarified, her voice finally managing to convey the friendliness and caring she had struggled to pinpoint for years.
Ethan was taken by surprise. He had been preparing for battle. Of course, it made no sense for him to, but there was something about the idea of the conversation that gave him doubts and anxiety which he was quick to give into. He was only glad his Tactics and Recon instructor wasn’t grading him on his coming out. His shoulders slowly fell, releasing their tension, his chest loosened, his breath eased, “I, uh… I’m pansexual, actually. I think. I’m still figuring it out. But, I guess you can tell people if you want.”
“Thank you for telling me, Ethan. And I don’t plan to go yelling it across the station. I just want some ammunition next time your Aunt Lucy asks if she can set you up with her friends’ daughters,” Hannah paused, watching the last of the tension release from her son’s body, “You looked scared for a second there, kiddo. You should know that you’re my son and I love you for who you are, not despite it.” Hannah smiled, wishing she could reach through the screen of her terminal to hold her son’s hand.
“I’m sorry, you just hear stories about kids who… who get kicked out or disowned,” Ethan’s voice cracked, trying to quell the tears welling in his eyes, “And the churches still can’t make up their mind about what to preach. I know we’re not exactly religious but it just… makes you doubt it, you know?” A tear managed to escape his eye and trickle down his cheek.
“I do, sweetie. But, you never need to apologize for it. This isn’t an experience I’ve ever had, so I’m in a pretty crappy position to judge the way you do it or your reasons to avoid it.”
“Thanks, mom. I appreciate it.” Ethan mumbled, looking down a little sheepishly.
“Okay, I really should get some sleep before I ship out. Good luck on that paper.” Hannah said, reaching to turn off the terminal.
“Good night, m-”
“Oh, and don’t forget to use a condom!” Hannah interrupted, quickly pulling her hand back from the power button.
“Oh, my god, mom. Goodbye.” Ethan frantically closed the call, eager to avoid what would prove to be an even more awkward conversation with his mother. He collapsed against the back of his chair with a sigh.
After a moment of silence, Ethan turned around suddenly at the sound of the closet door rattling open, seeing Nate step out cautiously, “Brandon Kee? Really?” he joked gingerly, stepping toward Ethan.
Ethan got up and walked toward Nate, standing a few paces away, his hands in his pockets. “I guess you heard all that, then.”
Nate nodded, sucking his lips.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry,” Ethan’s eyes pled for forgiveness.
“It’s fine. I’m not about to criticize you for not wanting to come out yet. I’m glad you did though,” Nate accepted the apology with just a little derision that Ethan even thought he needed to apologize in the first place.
Ethan stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Nate’s body, sinking into the embrace and letting himself truly relax for the first time since the call tone.
Nate ran his hands comfortingly over Ethan’s back and head for a few seconds, “Still, Brandon Kee?”
Ethan snorted a laugh, pulling his head back from Nate’s shoulder, where it had been nestled“What, you think I should have told her who you were? ‘Hey mom, this is my boyfriend and lover Nathaniel Hackett, you know like the Alliance legend Rear Admiral Steven Hackett’s son?’ I’m sure that would have gone over well.”
“What, am I too much of a bad boy for Captain Shepard’s taste?” Nate smirked, biting his lip seductively as he pulled Ethan’s hips against his.
“Yeah, because all the bad boys have the highest Biomedical Engineering marks,” Ethan teased, pecking Nate’s lips with a kiss, before slipping his hands down to his waistband again.
“Wait,” Nate said, putting his finger to Ethan’s lips, sticking his other into his pocket, pulling out a condom with a sly grin, “I seem to recall someone saying something about one of these.”
Ethan playfully hit his chest, “There’s something creepy about that, I assure you.”
“Mmhmm,” Nate hummed as he pressed his lips against Ethan’s, pushing him back onto the bed.