I was feeling really low earlier so I ended up stubbornly hiding in bed until I fell asleep for a couple hours. I woke up, read fic for a while, then realized I was antsy—the kind of antsy that meant I had the I gotta go run itch.
I couldn’t tell you the last time I went running. My head’s been such shit and so’s been the weather so I couldn’t even tell you the last time I went out for a nice walk. But I had the itch tonight, and my head wasn’t too bad and even though my left knee’s been making some alarming gristle-crunch noises this week my legs didn’t hurt much either, and even though I’ve pretty much only had Monsters and liquor for my liquid intake this week, I figured it wasn’t like I was gonna go far even if I was hydrated. So I put on some workout clothes, fed Spare Cat, and went for a run.
I ran to the waterfront and back without stopping. I have no idea the last time I was able to do that. I checked the mail, drank some water, and realized I still had the itch. So I went out and ran some more. I don’t think I have ever willingly done that in my life.
One shower later my head’s making a half-hearted attempt at letting me know it didn’t appreciate the activity, but it’s a shadow of the headaches I was getting when I was still making an effort to run once a week before I folded that hand in quiet resignation. I’m on the couch with Squeakums on my stomach typing this out, and I feel... good.
I can’t remember the last time I felt good. No, that’s a lie. It was back in March, a week or so before my birthday. There had been a handful of lovely days where it seemed like these headaches had an easy fix, where I brimmed over with energy one Saturday and ended up getting ridiculously muddy because river shores in Maryland are secretly quicksand.
I feel good now. Not happy, not brimming over with that same energy, but good all the same.
I’m probably going to stay up with the help of shitty coffee and better tea so I don’t wreck my sleeping schedule too badly. I might occupy myself with some much-needed cleaning around the house. I might do some dedicated writing instead of the lackluster plinking I’ve been doing all month. I might just enjoy an episode or two of Critical Role until the sun rises and go get breakfast at the nice bagel place with the really good coffee. I don’t think it matters much what I do, but I think I’m going to enjoy myself more than I have in a while.
I hope this feeling lasts. I hate running, but I missed it too.
