You didn't have to look my way...
Your eyes still haunt me to this day...
PaonBee Buzzkill 🐝🍅 Commission by @toriitorii
Posting for @chlonathweek 2k19 Day 4: Dream/Nightmare
Le Paon!Nath is based of @karawek‘s design and this takes place in an enemies (or maybe not so enemies???) au I like to call the hatesquare from my fic Buzzkill!
Please do not repost without permission from the artist!
So @terrible-miraculous-ladybug-aus posted this, and I may have gotten a little too into the idea, so here have some chlonath~
So imagine, the gang got the peacock miraculous back from Papillon and one day during battle, for ~reasons~ Chloé was the one who had to elect a new miraculous holder to help them. They didn't know the peacock was damaged at the time, and her gut or magic or whatever led her to give it to Nathaniel.
So she knows Nathaniel is Paon while no one else does (and like canon, everyone knows who she is). After the battle she went to get it back and he had a slight cough. They both just brushed it off as him coming down with a cold or something.
She continues to give it to him every once in a while to help them in battle, and after maybe the fifth or sixth time, when she's taking it back from him, she realizes that it's making him cough like that, and it's getting worse. She decides not to give it to him (or anyone) after that.
One day there's one particularly harsh battle. They all take a pretty hard beating, and barely come out on top. The next day while walking out of school, Nathaniel asks her why she didn't ask for his help.
She looks at him like he's crazy. "It's making you sick, you idiot."
He shrugs. "I don't mind a little coughing if it keeps Papillon from defeating you."
She steps in front of him, stopping him dead in his tracks, and points a finger to his chest. "Listen up, Kurtzberg. We fight to protect Paris and that includes you. So, no, I am not going to ask for your help if it means endangering you." She walks away without another word, and Nathaniel wonders why his cheeks feel warm.
It's a few weeks later when another battle has them at the end of their rope. Nathaniel happens to be close by. He watches as Queen Bee gets knocked aside and runs up to help her get back up.
"Let me help you."
"No, get out of here," she grunts as she struggles to stand. They turn when they hear Rena and Carapace scream in the distance. They both go down and Ladybug and Chat Noir run after the akuma. Queen Bee looks back at Nathaniel. She can’t endanger him again. He looks at her. She has to endanger him again.
"Let me get on your back," she eventually says.
She has him take her to Master Fu's and gives him the Peacock miraculous again. After the fight, he can hardly speak with how hard he's coughing. She makes sure he gets back home and to his bed.
He's barely awake, but he can feel her weight on the edge of the bed and the cool touch of her fingers brushing back the hair on his forehead. "Thank you," he hears her whisper as he fades from consciousness. "I'm sorry."
Weeks go by without further incident. She's determined to make sure they never need his help again and she fights accordingly. He can tell when he watches the news coverage; he can see her giving every fight 110% to protect him.
He feels bad that he can't help. He also starts to feel a great warmth in his chest every time he sees her.
It's been at least a month, maybe two, when Papillon pulls something crazy and suddenly the heroes are hurting again. His eyes are glued to the news coverage on his phone. He sees it when Ladybug goes missing and comes back with Rena and Carapace. He sees it when Chat Noir goes missing and brings back Queen Bee. They're still not strong enough.
Queen Bee doesn't leave the battle. He watches her get knocked about and screams in his head for her to come ask him for help.
Finally, he can't take it anymore.
Nathaniel runs to Master Fu, who looks at him with heavy warning in his eyes and asks if he's sure. He's never felt more sure about anything.
"What are you doing here!?" Queen Bee screams when she sees him. He scoops her up in his arms and leaps away just in time to avoid the akuma's attack.
"Helping you."
"You can't! I don't want your help! Get out—!"
"Chloé." He looks her dead in the eye and she hates his clear resolve. "I'm not going to sit by and watch you get hurt."
She also hates how much she appreciates him.
She doesn't say anything more about it until the battle is over. When she gets him back home again and he detransforms, he immediately collapses. She gets him to his bed and snatches up the miraculous.
"What were you thinking!?" She wants to sound angry, aggressive, biting. She wants him to regret his actions.
After a coughing fit though, he just looks up at her with weary eyes and states, "You were hurt."
She clenches her jaw and swallows down a lump in her throat. She tries to sound as threatening and menacing as possible as she leans over him and says, "Never do that again," but the tears she's holding back are emerging in her voice and they both know it. "Promise me."
He smiles softly, sadly. But he does not promise.
She doesn’t say anything more. She just sits at the edge of his bed and combs her fingers through his hair until he falls asleep.
The next time it happens, seven weeks and three days have gone by. Chloé knows it’s been seven weeks and three days because no matter how hard she tries, she can’t silence the voice in the back of her head that counts every day he continues to cough.
They’re in dire need again, and they’re just thinking that maybe it’s time to name a new hero to help when he shows up.
“Are you crazy!?” she screams as he runs up and intercepts a projectile headed straight for her.
“Yell at me later, Bee,” he says, and she silently promises she will.
The battle is tough, even with all the extra help. The akumas are getting stronger, or maybe Papillon is getting smarter. Either way, she worries that this will happen again, and sooner than she’d like.
Ladybug’s cure is still making its way through the city when Queen Bee grabs Paon’s arm and drags him away.
“Do you have a death wish!?” she hisses as she pushes him around a corner. He doesn’t answer. He hardly seems to have even heard her. His attention is on something on her head. “What?”
Queen Bee stiffens as his gloved hand settles over her cheek, thumb swiping just under her eye. It almost stings before a flash of magic washes over her and a look of relief washes over him.
“Don’t be stupid,” she says, taking his hand and pulling it away from her face. “Any injuries we get in battle heal. You know that.”
His eyes finally find hers then and she hates how much pain hides behind that steeled look. “That doesn’t make it any easier to watch.”
She wants to think he means watching everyone get hurt. She knows he means her.
“You shouldn’t have come,” she finally says, voice much quieter. He opens his mouth to argue, but she continues before he can. “Don’t think I don’t hear you coughing in class. I know you still haven’t fully recovered from last time. It’s been two months and the effects still linger. I don’t know what will happen if this continues but quite honestly, I don’t want to find out.”
He says nothing and she knows it’s because he would do it again anyway.
His lack of self-preservation will be the end of her.
His miraculous beeps rapidly then; a final warning. She peeks around the corner to see that the others have already disappeared. “You’re safe,” she says, and in a wave of crackling blue electricity, Nathaniel appears before her. She’s ready to catch him this time.
Nathaniel is unconscious in her arms as Queen Bee leaps from rooftop to rooftop. She thinks he’s still asleep when she sets him down on his bed.
“Stay,” she hears as she’s about to climb out the window. His voice is weak and if it weren’t such a quiet night in the city, she thinks she wouldn’t have heard it. She considers pretending she didn’t.
But she makes the mistake of looking at him.
Chloé sits at his side and combs her fingers through his hair until long after he falls asleep.
He’s not in school for the rest of the week.
The next time they need help is only a few weeks later. Queen Bee goes straight to Master Fu’s, determined to give Sabrina the mouse miraculous. Nathaniel beats her there.
“Get out of here!” she shouts as she stomps forward, holding up a pointer finger threateningly. Le Paon takes her hand and lowers it to his chest.
“I’m already transformed,” he says before she can continue. “Yell at me later.”
“That’s what you said last time! I can’t yell at you when you’re feverish and coughing!”
He squeezes her hand with a soft smile before letting go. “Come on, Bee. We have a city to save.”
That night, as she brushes back his hair, she whispers, “I’m going to name a new miraculous holder.”
She can’t tell what kind of expression he’s making. He just looks tired.
“You are never going to use the peacock miraculous again, do you understand?” He tries to respond, but a coughing fit takes him instead. She helps him sit up and drink some water before laying him back down. His coughing subsides, but she hates how labored his breathing is. “I promise we’ll call in extra help if we need it,” she continues. “So please—,” she makes sure he’s looking at her again, “—don’t do this to yourself again.”
He doesn’t say anything. She knows it’s because he doesn’t want to promise that. She moves her hand to gently caress his cheek and corrects herself. “Don’t do this to me again.”
At that, his expression softens with a tiny sigh, but he still says nothing. Her fingers find a gentle rhythm combing through the hair at the base of his neck and silence settles over them. Chloé resigns herself to staying until he’s long asleep and watching helplessly when this happens again.
She’s surprised when his voice emerges in a quiet whisper.
“I think I’m falling in love with you.”
Her movements pause for only a moment. The words stir up a warmth in her chest, even if she had already known them to be true. It brings a soft smile to her lips.
“Then stay alive for me,” she whispers back. “Stay alive so I can fall in love with you too.”
Nathaniel’s eyes fall shut and his chest sinks with a long breath out and she knows that she’s already falling in love with him too when she sees his smile.
