Brandishing a bow and arrow and in stocking feet, film star Anita Ekberg confronts Felice Quinto, known as "The King of the Paparazzi", outside of her home in Rome, Italy at the chilly hour of 5:00 A.M., photo by Marcello Geppetti, October 1960. Pissed off after being followed by a number of photographers during a nightclub crawl with movie producer Guido Giambartolomeo, Ekberg (who was receiving archery training at the time for the movie The Mongols) marched out of her vila in a fury and barked "Give me those pictures!" before pointing the weapon at Quinto. Though news reports at the time claimed that Anita struck him with an arrow on his left forearm and shot two more at another photographer hitting him in the back, Quinto later clarified during an interview with ABC News in 1995 that only one arrow nicked his hand, and another struck a photographer’s car. Ekberg did, however, knee Quinto in the groin before furiously stomping back into her house shouting profane epithets in Italian. The photographers immediately fled, and the pictures they took of Anita on a rampage made headline news around the globe. Banking a small fortune from selling the photos and telling their (not entirely honest and accurate) tale, they wisely did not press charges against Ekberg, though they continued to annoy her in hopes of another newsworthy violent encounter.
This one is MUCH longer, but hey, you get a little of everyone!
Also, I’ll probably reblog this to the Masked Singer community we’re all in. Who knows?
TSOMC: “Several Serious Scoops”
*We open on an abrupt, first-person shot of Peacock getting the egg-yellow grille of a microphone shoved inches from his beak, which he responds to with a beady squint.*
The fast-paced and slightly Italian voice of another Mask from off camera: Paparazzo, il reporter della stagione fortunata, here with a borrowed mic and a BURNING question! Peacock, are you dating anyMask?
Peacock: …*blinks* What?
*The shot suddenly changes to a title screen with a maroon background and dancing, pale-yellow text that reads “Controller Chat with Paparazzo!" A little doodle of the host's face is next to it. The text then changes to read, "Inquiring Masks Want to Know! Are The City's Freedom Fighters...Innamorato?" next to a scribbled animation of a beating heart. Notably, the words “Freedom Fighters” are in red instead of yellow, like the emphasis on a piece of propaganda.*
*The jaunty 20s-style music that's accompanied this dies off as the shot returns to Peacock, now sitting on the couch in his house.*
Peacock: *winged arms crossed* For the record, I did not ask for this. And I am perfectly content as a solo act.
Paparazzo (still off camera until I say otherwise): *gasps, his camera-eyes winking/flashing to daze Peacock a little* Oh, but surely a showman like yourself has wooed some member of your audience with those dashing tail feathers! Come onnn, be a little more open with the City, hmm?
Peacock: *gives a cooing growl and tilts his head into the feathers sticking out from his sequined jacket* Here's a question...if I sawed you in half, would I get blood or wires?
Paparazzo: *appears to back up, since the shot shrinks away from Peacock* My apologies, Grand and Marvelous Peacock. The City’s only been discussing if it might have something to do with your Connection’s…*whispers* Mormon heritage.
Peacock: *reacts like he just got called a slur, his feathers sticking up* SQWAK! Are you still going around telling Masks I have that purity jumpsuit under my jacket? (reference to magic underwear because of course)
Paparazzo: Ah, no, no, of course not! A harmless rumor, got out of control, it's just that with HIM being married…
Peacock: *stands up, unfurls his tail and holds out a wing, causing the shot to move like Paparazzo is levitating* Tell this City that the Grand and Marvelous works ALONE, for reasons that THEY dont need to concern themselves with! *waves that wing like a Jedi mind trick; the shot instantly crashes to the ground*
Paparazzo: *apparently unhurt* …Beh. Heheh. Good to know, sir…
Peacock: *out of the corner of his beak, just quiet enough for Paparazzo to hear it and no louder* I’ll be seeing you in two days?
Paparazzo, in a similarly hushed tone: That you will, sir. In the forest, stroke of moonhigh. *shot goes half-dark, indicating a wink*
*title screen reappears, now reading "District 2", before vanishing to show Egg as the new interviewee*
Egg: *hat pushed back, spinning in a small circle around the frozen surface of his own bathtub* Dating? Is this what I gave you my mic for? *chuckles*
Paparazzo: *holds out the microphone a bit closer* There have been some eyebrows raised in this District by the situation surrounding your latest healing. (Cause again, he got his ass beat in the last episode) You seem to be patched up nicely!
Egg: *puts a hand under his beaded jacket to check his own scars* They're definitely doing better than they were a few days ago…helps to stretch my legs, anyway. *spins in a tight circle before pulling himself to a stop* Ah, I wish I could grade myself…you said you’d start filming my performances. *points to his interviewer with a grin*
Paparazzo: *another flash of the eyes, possibly due to excitement* A Paparazzo promise is a Paparazzo promise! Right after this little project I'm working with here. Sure you're still single?
Egg: *drops swiftly to his knees and knocks on the ice in response* Sweet. C'mon. Show him. *giggles*
Ice Cream: *suddenly breaks his head out from under the ice, where Egg likely had him trapped* Aw, b-b-baby…you have to t-t-tell me when I'm going to be on c-c-c-c-cameraaa.
Paparazzo: *shot gets closer implying that he's running up to the frozen treat, before another eye flash puts the poor guy in a Pennywise-esque trance* Hmmmm…oh, you heard it here first, Mas’tro City! This is one bonafide romance…(he pronounces it as “bone-uh-feed-ay") How ever did you find such a willing dork? *pats Ice Cream on the cherry-on-top*
Ice Cream: *mumbles about flashing lights and screaming crowds*
Egg: *looks offended* Alright, for future reference, only I do that to him, mmkay, new kid? *petty little smile, straightens his overcoat* He came over to visit yesterday, just to check on me, and now...*gestures* Well, it was a great night, I'll say that much.
Paparazzo: Ah-hah! Well, here's to hoping he's a loyal one, or the whole of District 2 might be in some hot water. *laughs to himself*
Egg: *waves it off with a smirk*
*return of the title screen, "District 3" before cutting to Turtle*
Turtle: *shittiest greaser's smile you've ever seen; holds out a cloying bouquet of roses* Why, you interested?
*abruptly goes back to the title screen, “District 4” before cutting to Mushroom*
Mushroom: *fiddling with a couple of the flowers on his cap as he walks up to his own mossy doorstep* Oh, I'm lookin' at a little something...*smiles* You didn't hear it from me, but I think Mayor Sun might just be picking up what I'm putting down.
Paparazzo: Hmmm…*briefly looks down to write some notes (the title screen text is the same as his handwriting)* Sounds just shy of scandalous, there. Does she seem…*inquisitive flash* Charmed?
Mushroom: *shrugs* Time'll tell, but | can assure ya I've been a gentleMask.
Paparazzo: You hear that, Turtle? A GENTLEMASK. I hope you're watching! *pats Mushroom's shoulder; he nods in understanding*
*title screen; “District 5” before cutting to the Russian Dolls*
Bluza (the biggest brother): Dating anyMask...No, don't think so. Koy, have you been sneaking around? *turns his body awkwardly to his middle-sized brother*
Koyen: *rolls his eyes* Absolutely not; I'd never get to tell them anything in between you two yapping your top-halves off.
Listua, the smallest brother: *puts his hands on his massive hips (Listua and Koyen have limbs, Bluza doesn’t)* That's unfair! Black Swan's the prettiest Mask in the whole City and you won't let me so much as look her way!
Koyen: That wasn't my decision.
Paparazzo: Um…
Bluza: Oh, don’t START! *flawlessly switches to cussing Listua out in Russian*
Listua: *returns the favor*
Koyen: *groans and starts yelling in Russian for both of them to just shut up already*
Paparazzo: Well. I don’t even think flashing will work on these 3...
*title screen; "District 6" before cutting to Banana Split*
Banana Split: *giggling and booping each other's noses back and forth to the point where Paparazzo cannot get a word in edgewise*
Jester: *pops into the shot out of a random spiraling portal to take away from the obvious answer to "Are Banana Split dating anyMask?"* This somethin' about partners? Lemme tell ya bout my beau’y (beauty with a silent T; he has a low, rough cockney accent)…PEPPAH! PEPPAH, WHERE ARE YA?
Paparazzo: *gets closer and tugs on half of Jester's hat* Hey, hey, no need to bother her if she's busy! You can just tell me about your relationship! *flashes his eyes again (recurring theme for some reason ;D)*
Jester: *blinks and nods* Awright. Girls completely off ‘er rocker, but I do love ‘er! Spits fire every other second I'm around 'er, so full of life and *ahem, puts his hands down after previously having them clasped under his chin*. Glad we don't throw out PDA like these fuckers, though...*points to the Split, who are still smiling at each other*
Paparazzo: Hahah, I think I'll let the audience have their say on that one.
Jester: *scowls* Geddout.
*title screen; "District 7" before cutting to the Queen Cobras (my version has them with different eye colors)*
Regent (the red-eyed Cobra): *puts one hand on her hip* Please. No Massssk could keep up with the three of ussss.
Paparazzo: What about separate partners?
Princess (the blue-eyed Cobra): *picking dirt out from under her claws* We all ssssleep in the ssssame nessst. It would be awkward.
Crown (the green-eyed Cobra): Not that we haven’t conssssidered it…but we have sssstandards.
Paparazzo: Hm. Maybe try sleeping in DIFFERENT nests!
All three Cobras: *look at him like they just got shot*
*”TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, PLEASE STAND BY" screen with a doodle of Paparazzo looking like the nervous laugh emoji*
*title screen; "District 8" before cutting to Fortune Teller*
Paparazzo: ...And no; before you ask, I'm not giving you ad space in exchange for an honest answer. Journalistic integrity is important even for someMask like me.
Fortune Teller: *rolling the window up on the booth he carries with him* I can make that work. Just like how you should be able to make all your own romantic endeavors work this year with my patented Eau de Fortunato! *points to the camera and holds up a grubby little bottle of gooey liquid* More passionate than getting locked with a cask of Amontillado for the rest of your maybe-immortal days—
Paparazzo: *cuts off the Poe reference and points to the bottle* That's pond water, everyMask. I think we've got our answer already.
Fortune Teller: I will throw this at you.
Paparazzo: *teasing eye flashes* HE'S FREE FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS HIM!
Fortune Teller: YA LITTLE—
*”TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, PLEASE STAND BY": the Paparazzo doodle now has a speech bubble saying "Worth it"*
*title screen; "District 9" before cutting to the California Roll (my interp of them is Salted = Matt, Soy = Scott, Grassy = Mitch, Olive = Kevin and Malted = Kristan)
Salted Roll: Well...*narrows his spiral eyes* I know my Connection's married, but I'm not seeing anyone...
Malted Roll: *swings her legs over the Roll's shared couch (which is orange and white to mimic a piece of fish over a hunk of rice)* Free as a bird. Same for you, Olive?
Olive Roll: *nods his entire body* Last I checked.
Paparazzo: Let'a me see...*faint Mario twinge coming out of his voice* Uno, due, tre…you’re missing two.
Soy Roll: *comes in the room humming a rendition of "Here Comes the Bride" while holding a delicious-looking pecan pie aloft* We made pie!
Grassy Roll right behind him: Mostly, HE made the pie and I watched him do it.
Soy Roll: *teasingly* Were you watching me or my muscles?
Grassy Roll: *shrugs* Both's good.
Paparazzo: *eyes flash, stomach rumbles* Where'd you find the good stuff to make that heaven-scented filling?
Grassy Roll: Oh, it turns out that Bee is a very prolific pollinator...*smile turns wicked* So we've been relying on her for a handful of things. Why should One get all the fun?
Paparazzo: *swiftly jots, "Ask (tell?) Peacock about Bee's pollination @ next meeting"* Bombshell! Thank ya...you two. *half-dark shot, again denoting a wink*
Grassy Roll and Soy Roll: *blush and look down*
*title screen: "District 10" before cutting to Sea Queen, sitting in her tank*
Sea Queen: *with a tone that’s purposefully raspier than usual and a gaze that could cut through the glass separating the two* And why shouldn’t I tell you to stop rippling my waters?
Paparazzo: *holds out a small plate* I have brought pie!
Sea Queen: *swims to the glass inquisitively, shot cuts to the next one and she’s suddenly eating the pie* …Mmm. Haven’t loved a soul myself, but you know how I can be with my potions…
Paparazzo: Oh, yes, yes! EveryMask knows Love Potion No. 10, whether by rumor or experience. Speaking of, how is that Donut?
Sea Queen: *chuckles with a mouthful of candied pecans* Tastier than ever to mess with the more I get to knowin’ him. But don’t tell him or his partners I said that.
Paparazzo: *shot bobs to note his nodding* Lips are sealed. Now, who else do I have to—*looks at his notes and gasps in surprise* YAYYYYYY!
Sea Queen: *recoils as the sound makes her waters ripple*
*title screen; “District 11” before cutting to a shaky-ass shot*
Paparazzo: *runs up to Book and tackles the guy with no regard for paper cuts* BOOKIE!
Book: DAH!—*falls over*
*”TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, PLEASE STAND BY”: the Paparazzo doodle is smiling with “BFF” in his big camera eyes*
*cut back to Book, now having his monocle repaired by the slime of his own bookworm*
Book: No. I’m not dating anyone. Half of everyone in 11 hates my guts and I like it that way. Can ya leave me in peace? *playful nudge to his friend*
Paparazzo: So, then, the worm thing is purely platonic, yes?
Book: OBVIOUSLY…oh, sup, Chess?
Chess Piece: *sees the book and the cameraman and immediately launches into a ridiculous three-way handshake that I can only describe as “launching the nuke codes” (don’t ask)* BOYSSSSS!
Paparazzo and Book: GIRLLLLL! How’s Phee?
Chess Piece: *scoffs without lips* Phoenix and I are right as rain, you two. Don’t go sabotaging what we have going…I can tell you’re jealous.
Book: I ain’t jealous of shit.
Paparazzo: Is what he says. I have reason to believe you’re lying, but I won’t press further…*sickly sweet voice* Dear friend.
Book: *rolls his eyes* Hey, if you were planning to do this since Valentine’s, you better update that list you got…*turns around and flips his own pages open to show a heart written inside, reading “Stingray X High Voltage” in curvy black ink that looks very natural (as if harvested from some sort of cephalopod)* Course, Clock and Poodle Moth have their own thing going on, I hear, but since this one relates to the hot new shit, I thought—
Paparazzo: *already booking it and leaving his best buddies behind in the madness of a good scoop*
*title screen; “District 12” except that the 12 has been crossed out and replaced with “14”, with the little Razzo doodle saying “New Ones!”*
Paparazzo: *running up to a crackling electrical pole (they’re set up like windmills around the city) that’s, for some reason, been altered to give off a frequency that sounds like “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter* Not bad, Voltage. *lays a hand on the pole, shocking himself to the point of the shot color-inverting (though, the music changes to Faith Hill’s “This Kiss”)*
High Voltage: *spurts out of the pole: metal, wires and all, with the look on his glowing face of someone that was just revived from a nap* Stop giving away my hiding spots, whoever you are! *points a plug-hand threateningly*
Paparazzo: *holds his hands up, the shot returning to normal as he flashes his eyes again* Paparazzo! District 13. Just past the way; I’m not meaning to hurt you! *leans in and whispers* You might’ve seen me in the forest…?
High Voltage: *things seem to click for him, judging by the way his wires aren’t actively flashing now* Oh. One of us.
Paparazzo: Mmm-hmm! Sorry if I haven’t said hi, yet…I interview everyone eventually, so…
High Voltage: I get it, I get it. *crosses his arms* What’s the idea, little guy?
Paparazzo: *laughs* I’m asking the others if they’ve found any romance for themselves around the city. I pose the same to you! *sounds like he’s clicking his heels à la “there’s no place like home”*
High Voltage: Ooh, well…he’s camera-shy, but Stingray and I have a decent arrangement. He likes to pitch the balls, and I put them on the field! *soccer-ball pattern on his head flashes with a violent hot-blue*
Paparazzo: Ahhh! Yes, yes, we do love a good alliance around our sectors…sure I can’t come see him? New District and all, I think some Masks might be curious.
High Voltage: *definitively* No. Unless you want to get stung.
Paparazzo: *swiftly* Fair’s fair and that’s that, then! *finishes scrawling the last of his notes* Wasn’t this just so informative? *looks up and flashes HV again*
High Voltage: *head fritzes a little, looking like if a plasma ball got drunk* …Yeah…In-informative…?
Paparazzo: *chuckles* Grazie. And…arrivederci! *flicks his recording capacities off to go scuttle and find some “off the record” knowhow*
