Apr 8, 2013
Sometimes when things don't go my way, it's really hard to resist the urge to just throw my head back and scream, "I AM PARAXIAL, I WILL NOT BE DENIED!" Then I remember that I'm not a cartoon villain and it's much easier all of a sudden.
seen from United States
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from China
seen from New Zealand
seen from New Zealand
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from Kyrgyzstan
seen from China
seen from United States
Sometimes when things don't go my way, it's really hard to resist the urge to just throw my head back and scream, "I AM PARAXIAL, I WILL NOT BE DENIED!" Then I remember that I'm not a cartoon villain and it's much easier all of a sudden.
I'm doing the thing. I'm going there. I'm doing the online dating thing again.
Someone pls shoot my self-esteem in the foot before I manage it myself.
SPENT THE LAST WAY TOO LONG TRYING TO FIND MY SHOWERHEAD.
WHERE DOES MY SISTER EVEN HIDE IT I DON'T
a bloo chocolate is awful and is now my worst enemy. death to all chocolate. ultimate betrayer, followed only by coffee.
not enough tea!
I think something I find disturbing about the english language is ...well, I don't have much linguistic ability, so I don't yet have the words for it, but the way we internalise our states of being.
The way we say "I am depressed" or "I am autistic" or "I am angry". These things, they become a part of your identity then, rather than a helpful description of your current behaviour. We internalise them, and hold on to them as markers of personality, rather than parts of us to grasp and pass on as things happen.
I don't really know much about the other things I mentioned, but I certainly notice it with depression - once you say "I have depression", it suddenly feels like there is a crushing weight on you to BE MORE SAD, because one of your personal identifiers is now 'depressed'. Someone never diagnosed might find they still have those common moments of crushing despair, but the few happy times aren't overshadowed with the feeling of "I am depressed, I should be sad". I don't really know where I'm going about this, and it's obviously also a very personal feeling that I think other people won't share. (have heard people say "Oh I was so glad to know that I wasn't feeling /normal/")
I'm not sure I should be doing socialising whenever my main thought process runs something like "Hm, engineering problem..... notification.... I'm going to brutally murder someone".
you are still the same meat computer you were yesterday