dazed.
@idmilo, end of the kcon party ( event )
it’s late -- actually, maybe early -- but either way, san’s completely trashed. he’d had too much to drink with jowi, had managed to fall into something chaotic with yohan, in the sort of ways they’ve been managing to do constantly as of late. it’s a little funny that san considers them to still be friends. maybe his pool is just too shallow to draw from. not that he’s ever blameless. not that yohan’s ever perfect. but he wants to shove him out of his head. his talk with dahye probably should have left him feeling more comforted than anything else, but now san just feels raw. a little vulnerable, the way he always does when he lets his prop-top tent walls collapse in a rush.
so he leaves the roof, back to the party, on a quest to see if there’s more alcohol to scrounge up. he finds milo on the way. offers him a wide smile. the kind that might’ve looked nice if his eyes weren’t so wild, if he wasn’t half-stumbling over himself on his way toward the bar. “you’re coming too?” he asks the other when he falls in step alongside him. it comes out slurred, and san finds himself laughing. but he twists his fingers in the sleeve of milo’s shirt for balance anyway, blinks his eyes hard a few times, shakes his head, starts walking again.
“where have you been hiding anyways, i was looking for you earlier.” san admits, in that open sort of way he only manages to hit after he’s been drinking so much. he doesn’t overthink it, the words leave his lips and then that’s that. if he were sober, it might be a different story. “i only saw yohan, are you actually mad at me after all?” san asks him outright, one of those thoughts that’s been hung up in his mind for a while now. that he hasn’t found the right way, time to vocalize. he laughs immediately after.
eventually makes it to the bar, to the promise of another drink, and he pulls it closer as soon as it’s within arms reach. takes a hasty slip and muffles a cough into the crook of his elbow. he glances sidelong to milo after, eyes just a little wary. like he might be waiting for him to slink off and into the crowd again. he waits a hesitant beat before he reaches out, grabs at milo’s sleeve again, yanks him in closer. all of his movement are largely messy, and he knows he looks worse for wear. but he doesn’t want to be alone. and he’s sure jowi’s busy. he doesn’t know about sanha. maybe he’s off laughing it up with jaewon. doesn’t want to go back to his hotel room either, in case he’s there. waiting to catch him up in a trap. he probably shouldn’t have bitched him out the other day. “want some?” he asks, for a lack of anything better to say. offers his drink over to milo as he says it.