Nights were getting colder, and with it, silence seemed to be getting more oppressive and unbearable. Even the sound of the TV filling up the apartment felt weird and unnatural, and after a while, she turned it off. It wasn’t so late, but it was already dark outside, and with that night’s live in Saitama she’d still be alone at home for a few more hours. It was more than she could stand, so after not much thought, Star grabbed a jacket and her bag, put on a pair of boots on the genkan, and locked her home’s door after leaving it. Inside, both dogs stared at it in confusion at the fact that she wasn’t taking them with her.
It wasn’t very far from home, barely a thirty minute walk. One of the main reasons why she had picked that house out of all the ones they had seen before moving. The few people that were still outside at that hour were mostly hurrying home, and as she avoided the more crowded streets, no one paid attention to the short pink haired girl walking alone. As she was getting closer to the place, however, her steps slowed down. The fact that there wasn’t even people talking and walking around the area, as they had always been, discouraged her. Of course she knew it beforehand. But seeing it was something completely different.
Finally, she arrived to the quiet, dark building. The once lively night club, now closed down and silent, looking like a big, dead animal in front of her eyes. The main, bigger signpost was gone, but the name of it still remained painted on the wall and the metallic blinds, making her feel a knot in her stomach. It was still unbelievable, how it was gone so suddenly, from one day to the next.
Running her hand over the wall, feeling its texture on her palm, she walked close to it, turning left at the corner and getting into the slightly narrower street. Other businesses and buildings were also closed and silent at that hour, but none of them gave such an impression of loneliness to her as the one she was most familiar with. Just a couple of meters away from the club, the door to the building she once called home.
Swallowing hard, Star walked the small distance and sat down on the little step by the door, leaning her shoulder and head on it. For a moment, it felt like a ghost town, as if she was the only person alive in the world. Even if she rang the bell, no one would answer or would come out of that door. She would never cross that door again either or walk up the stairs, that wasn’t her place anymore. She still had the key that she never got to give back, but even if the lock hadn’t been changed, what would she do inside of the empty apartment? To her, it was better to remember it just as it was the last time she was there: full of life, warmth, and with that familiar and unique scent filling up the air. The one that made her think of endless nights full of tight hugs and kind words.
All the memories were filling up her mind. There was no way it would stop hurting. There was no way she could forget. And hugging her legs as close to her body as she could in her current state, she hid her face on her knees and cried quietly, still wishing it was all just a bad dream.