I actually hate being back in Vancouver. I hate being in my childhood home without my sister here. (Also, apparently the dog died. Thanks, guys, for not telling me.) I hate the way my parents keep calling Taylor, “your friend, Taylor,” as if the idea of me settling down is so foreign to them and if they don’t say all three words, I’ll forget who they’re talking about. “Is your friend, Taylor, comfortable?” “Does your friend, Taylor, have any allergies we should know about?" “It’s so nice of your friend, Taylor, to come stay with you since the guys can’t leave tour.”
As if I didn’t know what that last one implied, Mom.
Though I do hate them not being here. I feel like an outsider in my own hometown, watching on a screen as they play the song I asked them to, as Matt makes an idiot of himself trying to flirt with their new merch girl, as they’re just...them and I’m in this town with basically none of the people who made it worthwhile.
I left a lot behind when I took to the road, but. There’s one person here that I still haven’t caught up with. I don’t know how. I literally ran into both Matt and Josh, and those were decently emotional reunions. In different ways. Mike, it was easy to go back into our flow. Maybe since he’s the one I was actually simply platonic with to begin with.
But my old friend. My old best friend. I don’t know how to even say hi.
Matt said he never blamed me for driving off and leaving them all behind. I’m not so sure his sister feels the same. I shouldn’t have changed my number, I don’t even know if she tried to ever reach me...
