#parenting lol

[deadbranch]

"The moment you lie about your height, you're no longer a short king. You're just short."

[jodjuya]

Put three oranges into my pocket to take them upstairs to eat in bed. This shocked my daughter (8yo).

Her: "what?? How can you do that???"

Me: "I'm wearing boy pants; I have boy pockets. I can put as many things into them as I feel like."

Her: "impossible!"

Me: *silently begins putting more and more oranges into my pockets*

Her: "there's no way you can fit that many oranges in your pockets!"

Me: "I told you: boy pants and boy pockets. There's plenty of room here"

Her: "there's no way you can fit all of them!"

Me, still filling my pockets: "oh yeah? Just watch me"

This playful back and forth continued while I continued filling my pockets with all THREE KILOGRAMS worth of oranges. 😂

(some of these oranges may not look like they're "in" the pocket, but they were tucked in there well enough to not fall out as I was walking around, so that's good enough for me lol)

Q: How many things can a boy fit into his pockets?

A: As many as he wants to. 😎

[the-deadly-donut]

Guess you could say he's got a 'handle' on the situation

[fanblot]

Tada! Another commission I did for @tsunderezarbon of her OC and his father, displaying his fantastic handle on this whole “parenting” thing. A+ for Zarbon.  In his defense... Zebulon was probably being a little brat lol. 

[deadbranch]

My daughter(15) demonstrated pre-calculus in Sharpie marker at the dinner table, unprompted.

I asked her, "Why do math with a Sharpie?"

She says it gives her confidence. If she makes a mistake, everyone will see it. Then she'll correct it with the same confidence & visibility.

She added, with a smile, "That being said, I try not to fuck up."

[deadbranch]

Husband asked our son(7) to bring him a Hostess Ding Dong. He brought him the whole box.

Son: "Your Ding Dongs, sir."

Husband: ....

Son: ....

Husband: "Thanks, buddy. You didn't have to bring the whole box."

Son (as he walks away): "In case you want more than one?"

[deadbranch]

Had to explain to my son (7) that preceding a word with le does not make it French.

[deadbranch]

Played with Silly String outside on the driveway with the kids after dinner.

We cleaned up after. I explained to them that human fun sometimes hurts the environment, so we should try to keep ground water clean and protect animals from ingesting harmful material.