Heartbeat [2]: Bucky x Reader
Soulmate AU where your heartbeat matches your mate’s
Word count: 2421
Warnings: This one’s still angsty
Part 1
Part 1 <- Highly recommend you read
Divider Credit
Your mind suddenly jumpstarts as you gasp for breath. Your heart is pounding a hundred miles per minute. Your eyes shoot open, looking around wildly. You’re sprawled out on the hospital floor, two nurses hovering over you.
“What’s happening?” you struggle to speak. Everything hurts and all you want to do is crawl back into the safety of darkness.
“We gave you a shot of epinephrine. Stay with us, Y/N. Keeping you alive maybe the only way to help your mate.”
“I’m so cold…” you shiver, your mind fazing in and out.
“Focus, Y/N. Keep your heart beating.”
“Let’s move her to one of the beds,” one of the doctors speaks, bending down to lift your body into his arms.
The movement makes your head swim. It’s taking all of your will power just to keep your eyes open. You blearily wonder what could be happening to your poor mate. You hope that there’s someone out there looking out for him. If not, then the efforts of your coworkers will be all for nothing.
Your mind hangs in a state of limbo for what feels like hours. You fluctuate between wanting to give up and being determined not to for the sake of your mate. You don’t know how long you can keep this up, but if it’s the only thing keeping him alive, you know that you have to.
Your eyes close and you feel your mind beginning to drift, once again. Your heart beat slows. You can feel your body losing this fight. You’re just about to accept the loss of this battle when pain explodes in your chest.
Your eyes fly open, back arching as an inhuman cry leaves your lips. It feels like a bolt of lightning striking though your body. The pain momentarily jumpstarts your heart, but it quickly begins to fade once more. Another jolt invades your system, this one even more painful than the last.
The doctor and nurses start screaming in panic, not knowing what is happening. Their words all jumble together in your ears. Tears are running down your face from the pain of it all. Now you wish that you actually had given up. Another jolt followed by another wrenching scream.
The pain in your chest is so great, that you don’t even notice the pinch in your arm when one of the nurses injects you with a sedative. The darkness settles in rather quickly, and this time you’re grateful for it. You provide no resistance, welcoming the dark to escape the pain.
Over the next few months, you begin to wish that nurse had never given you the shot of adrenaline. When you’re not unconscious, your heart is in a constant state of fear and panic. It doesn’t take you long to figure out that your mate has been captured as a prisoner of war. You can feel them torturing him, though you have no idea what exactly they are doing. You feel the bolts of electricity in your chest every time they push him too far, and they need to bring him back.
You wish there was something you could do to help, but your body is so fatigued, that you just don’t have the strength. At one point, you were in so much pain that you begged one of the nurses to kill you. It would be doing both yourself and him a favor. The sweet release of nothingness was so much better than what they could be doing to him. She looked at you with so much pity, before walking away.
At one point, you feel the sensation of ice running through your veins, much like it had the first time your heart stopped. You notice your heartbeat slow dramatically. It becomes impossible to keep your eyes open. You feel a momentary sense of relief, believing that you’ve finally been given the break you were looking for. You welcome the darkness with open arms.
When you next wake up, you don’t recognize the room you’ve been placed in. They must have switched hospitals while you were asleep. You release a tired groan, feeling the soreness in your muscles as if they’ve been stationary for a long period of time. Your heartbeat suddenly begins to pound erratically in your chest. You look around for the danger, but when you don’t see anything unusual, you realize that it must be from your mate.
The machine next to you begins to blare loudly, causing you to jump. A few seconds later, a woman swiftly enters the room. She seems to be dressed as a nurse, but her uniform is slightly different from the ones your companions and yourself used to wear. Her eyes widen in surprise when she finds you staring back at her. “You’re awake!”
You look at her in confusion, wondering why she would look so shocked.
“I… I’m going to go get the doctor,” still staring at you, she reaches for the door handle, missing a few times before finally breaking her gaze to grasp it and leave.
The machine continues to beep due to your hastened heart rate, and quickly becomes annoying. Closing your eyes, you concentrate on your breathing, trying to slow your heartbeat and calm down your mate. The beat slowly begins to even out, finally normalizing enough to get the machine to stop. You release a sigh of relief.
Your eyes open once again when you hear someone enter the room. The doctor seems just as surprised as the nurse when he sees that you’re awake. “Miss. Y/L/N!” he fumbles for his clipboard and pen and immediately begins to write something down. “How are you feeling?” he asks, stepping up to your bed.
You open your mouth to speak, only to realize just how dry your throat is. “Can I get some water?” you ask hoarsely.
“Yes! Of course!” he nods enthusiastically, moving back to the door to call out to a nurse. He comes back to your bedside and begins his examination. “Any pain or numbness?” You shake your head. “Difficulty breathing?” You shake your head again. “How about musculature? Can you move all your limbs, wiggle your fingers and toes?”
You try to move around to answer his question. “My muscles are a little stiff, but yes it would appear that everything moves,” you respond, voice still hoarse.
He nods, quickly jotting down notes. The nurse then enters the room, carrying a tray with a cup and pitcher of water. She sets the tray down on the table beside your bed and pours the water before handing you the cup. Your hands shake a little with the weight of the cup, but you’re still able to lift it to your lips and drink the refreshing water. It feels so good against your parched throat.
The doctor continues his examination, completely fascinated with every result he finds. His fascination unsettles you a little. You feel like there must be something missing. “Doctor… How long was I unconscious?” you ask.
His posture seems to stiffen dramatically. He stares at you for a moment, only increasing the unsettled feeling you have. “This might be difficult to take. Miss. Y/L/N, you’ve been asleep for three years. Well asleep isn’t exactly the proper term. Your body seemed to be in some form of stasis-”
“Wait, three years?!” you cut him off incredulously.
“Yes! It’s quite incredible, actually. You see…” everything else that he says falls onto deaf ears as your mind consumes you.
Three years of your life completely gone. How did your body even survive that long? It made no sense. The last thing you remember was an unforgiving chill as your body fell into darkness. That couldn’t have been three years ago… Maybe a day, or two at most? But the muscular fatigue you feel certainly gives proof for the possibility that this might not be a joke.
You’re so lost in thought that you don’t even notice the new person entering the room. “Doctor, might I have a word with Miss. Y/L/N?” the British accent catches your attention.
Looking up, your eyes land on a pretty brunette woman who exudes confidence. The doctor looks at her and immediately nods. “Of course Agent Carter.”
The woman waits for the doctor to leave before closing the door behind him and walking over to your bed. She gives you a kind smile, trying to make you feel comfortable. “Hello, I’m Peggy,” she introduces herself.
“Hi,” you respond. “I’m Y/N, but I have a feeling you already knew that.”
Her grin widens as she nods. “Yes, I am well aware of who you are. How are you feeling?”
Your gaze drops to your hands which sit in your lap. You play with the empty cup as you think on how to respond. “Well… confused, definitely. Is it weird that I’m also still tired?”
“That’s perfectly understandable. Your body isn’t used to being awake. You’ve been unconscious for a long time.”
You shake your head, still in disbelief. “And that is something I’m still trying to wrap my brain around. Has it really been three years?”
“I’m afraid so,” she responds honestly. “And unfortunately, that’s not all.”
You look back up at her, trying to read her features. “What else could there be?”
She hesitates a moment. “Y/N, you haven’t aged at all. There was no change in your condition the entire time you were under. It was like you were frozen.”
Your mind goes completely blank, unable to even process what she’s just told you. “I don’t understand…”
She steps over to a small set of drawers next to your bed. Opening the top drawer, she riffles around for a moment before pulling out a hand held mirror. She extends it to you. Your muscles are still rather weak, so it takes two hands to lift the mirror up. “It’s been three years and yet, you look exactly the same as when we first brought you in three years ago.”
Gazing at your reflection, you notice that you look a little fatigued, but she’s correct. There’s no sign of any other change. And though three years wasn’t a lot of time, there should have been at least some change. Your hair hadn’t even grown out. It was no longer pinned back, like it had been whenever you were working, but other than that, it was exactly the same. “How is this possible?” you ask, setting the mirror down in your lap and looking back at Peggy.
She frowns and releases a small sigh. “I’m afraid we don’t know.”
You release a shaky breath, your mind running a thousand miles per minute just to comprehend even a fraction of what was going on. “God, what the hell have they done to you…” you whisper.
Peggy’s brow nits in confusion. “To who?”
You look up at her again. “My soulmate,” you explain. “He was captured three years ago. We both almost died at one point, but one of the nurses I worked with injected me with adrenaline to keep me alive. I don’t know where he ended up, but it couldn’t have been somewhere good. His heart was always racing, and there were several times when I would feel this searing pain in my chest. They must have been torturing him, I know it. The pain was horrifying. And that’s just what I was feeling. It’s only a fraction of what they must have been doing to him. I thought it was over, when I felt myself drifting off. That they must have pushed him too far and killed him… But now, I can’t even imagine… What could they have done when they caused this?”
“He was a prisoner of war?” Peggy asks.
“Yes. At least, I’m pretty sure.”
Your answer makes her frown. “Y/N, the war ended nearly three years ago. After negotiations were made, the POWs were returned to their home countries. Well, the ones that were still alive, that is.”
You’re first shocked to hear that the war was over. When you were last awake, it had seemed like there was no end in sight. Like the war was going to last forever, with nothing but pain and bloodshed for the rest of your lives. But, with the way she said it, and if POWs were returned, that must mean the Allied forces had won. You had won.
It took a second longer for it to click. The POWs had been returned and yet… It would seem that not all of them had been. “You’re sure that all of the POWs were returned?” you ask her.
She sighs softly, looking at you with compassion. “I’m afraid there’s no way we could know. So many soldiers were lost. Anyone who didn’t return was reported as MIA.”
“But you didn’t even try to go looking for the missing soldiers?!”
“Once the war was over, any war time funding was almost immediately switched to other government departments. Everyone was quite happy to put everything behind them. To forget the war even happened.”
“So, they just left my poor soulmate in the hands of his captors, and whatever whims they seemed to have for him?”
“Y/N, we didn’t know about him,” she tries to get you to see reason.
“And now that you do? Are you still going to leave him over there?”
“We just don’t have the resources-”
“But he fought for his country! He nearly died for his country. Doesn’t that mean anything?!”
“We have nothing to go on. We don’t know who he is, where he was when he was captured, yet alone where he is now. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do.”
Your eyes burn with tears of frustration. What did the two of you do to deserve a fate such as this? If they wouldn’t even try to find him, the least they could do was put you both out of your misery. “I think… I need to be alone for a bit,” you speak, your voice thick.
“Y/N…” Peggy looks at you with pity and it makes you feel nauseous.
“Please. This is all too much. I can’t… Just go,” your words crack at the end as a lump forms in your throat.
You look down at your lap, refusing to watch her leave. Once the door clicks shut, your eyes close and the tears begin to fall. There was nothing worse for a soulmate than knowing your mate is in danger, but there is absolutely nothing you could do about it.
Part 3