#participant observer

[grupaok]

Nan Goldin, Greer and Robert on the bed, NYC, 1982

[caterpillaar]

Today was such a good one.

My cooperating teacher had to unexpectedly take the morning off. In the past when she knew there would be a sub, she told me beforehand and left copies of her instructional materials for me to prep with so I could lead the lesson, and I kind of felt awkward because there would be a perfectly able and certifiable sub present, and I was never sure how the kids felt about being left alone with me.

But today I had no notice walking in, so I hadn’t looked over the lesson and my ct left instructions for the substitute on her desk. I was perfectly fine with sitting back and observing. It’s always entertaining seeing how the kids change when their teacher’s not around.

First period was a total disaster. The kids in that class are a little more chatty to begin with, and it turns out the graphic organizer that they were supposed to be working on in their workbooks was actually missing. (Thank you, New York State modules!) So there was a lot of confusion, the lady had never read the book before and was completely lost, and I had a line of students at my desk coming for help.

Five students in a class of fifteen literally turned around in their seats and said, “Ms. Petrizzo, why can’t you just teach us instead?”

It was the most validating point of my time as a participant observer thus far. It doesn’t matter what the other teachers at the school have said to me, or what my professors and field supervisor have told me.

It doesn’t become real until you see how much your kids truly depend on you.

I’m a lucky duck.