I'm leaving AFF for good.
It's hard to explain.
I did made a point that I'll be leaving the site because of some personal reasons. I really don't know how to explain this. I don't want to go but I have to. I've said it before that if the place gets too difficult for me to handle, I can't stay. I don't like losing myself in the process. I don't like getting influenced, because I influence, remember?
I wanted to apologize...really, really apologize. I shouldn't have lead you on like that. But there are so many great daragon writers out there that I felt that it's okay to leave. But some people are just too good and nice, their words almost made me waver from my decision.
But I couldn't. Which is why I'm asking for people to understand me.
I am selfish because I know it's all about me.
Every writer has a persona other than the one he/she uses while he/she is writing. My other persona is very emotional, whiny, talkative, stressed and everything that is my writer persona complement. I always have this mental battle within me.
I am not used to it that's why maybe I am running away. Maybe I am a coward. or maybe I am protecting myself too. Every people faces a personal dilemma, or a drama to be precise. But let's accept that it's how the world goes.
Writing is like a drug. I couldn't stop writing. But like any other writers out there, I aim to influence not be influenced. I can't color my write-ups with biases that I might regret someday.
I know it doesn't make any sense. But I have to stop. And stop, I will.
