Discover Top Posts Tagged with #pastaotter

I was tagged by @woblenopsky for the last song/selfie/lockscreen thing (I don’t have a lock screen)

(This selfie was taken on @notenoughjorge -s carpet. *not pictured; Four 7/11 Hot dogs I bought at four am*)

Now that I am 27 and have a regular income for the first time EVER, I can finally get my 17 year old self the wardrobe she deserved.

#pastaotter

Sometimes I forget I have heterosexual friends because they're always having babies and moving to bumfuck nowhere, but then MY STRONGEST MALE BONDed friend gets married and it's like "omg I love you guys because you knew me when I was lame and scared of social interaction but now im twerking and offending your GMA. I love you guys, let's Snapchat girls you are trying to get with (best man) YAAAAASS kween" I miss my heterosexual boys and girls Woah I'm drubk like a whole bottle of sapphire and then some #laughysapphy

#pastaotter

"There's a difference between being thirsty and just wanting something to drink."

Sometimes I have good words

#pastaotter

I have no desire to like...worry if I'm still exciting to someone, or if they still find me funny. If he smiles at my texts or not. I'm not interested in that situation and it makes me really happy.

Me discussing the single life with a friend

#pastaotter

You have to understand. A gorgeous ginger daddy bear just invited me to Paris. I'm waiting for the punch line, or the chloroform.

Pastaotter/Me after getting an impossible invitation from a gorgeous ginger daddy bear

#pastaotter #me

Christmas Context

✨this goes along with my previous selfie✨ Since my parents finalized their divorce when I was like 7, and my dad had moved-in his current wife when I was like 11; Christmas has always been a tumultuous time for me and my sister that only has gotten less-so in recent years thanks to both of us drinking and her driving). They started the division when I was around 6, but, since my mom was smart and my dad wasn't physically abusive to her, she STAYED IN THE HOUSE AND WORKED & SAVED UP UNTIL SHE COULD AFFORD TO LEAVE MY FATHER but actually had to leave much sooner because he wasn't going along too well. But beyond that, a little sexual history. My first real sexual relationship was with my stepbrother. It started as exceptionally innocent Truth or Dare activities( "dare you to run around the house in your underwear", "dare you to switch underpants with me until the next boss battle", etc. Anything to get us both in our underwear(which ABSOLUTELY plays into my white briefs kink). I was definitely the driving force at this point). But shortly before my fifteenth birthday, he swiped my diary(which i religiously added to) and ran into the bathroom. I WAS TERRIFIED. Age being a factor, he and I had recently bonded (being only a year apart, where me and my sister are 3-4 years apart, providing a wedge of life experience at This point): he was my best friend. At the time, the only person who knew I was gay was my mom and the family cat. I was certain he'd never talk to me again. I was certain of this. But he came out of the bathroom, my all-to-7th grade crushes, fixations and phobias detailed, and said "so.......you are....... ..... ..... Gay." And I said "Yeah. I mean. Yeah. I've known for awhile so yeah. (If you hate me that's cool but I will totally use it as motivation to be AMAZING because if there's one thing I know about being gay, its that you need small minded hatred from your Home Town to inspire you)." And he said "cool. I wouldn't have known but it's cool that you are because you know, it's cool. So. Wanna play Golden Eye?" And we went back upstairs to play video games. The Dares slowed obviously, but the following summer he asked if I'd like to "do stuff". Which of course meant oral sex and OHMYGOD CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE. I still remember the day. I played innocent, acting as if I had no idea what he was talking about(I still own the journals for posterity, if you'd like to see let me know), relishing his reluctance to be uncouth. He ultimately came around and said "like you know blow jobs and stuff (?!?!?)" That night, I had his dick in my mouth, in the family room of our basement. My dad and his mom asleep two stories up. We left the TV turned on. Certain someone would hear our sounds of ecstasy. I hummed along to Natasha Bedinfield's "These Words" on MTV, with his up-turned, expertly cut, cock in my mouth and we both laughed. The he swallowed my own arrow-straight dick, and nothing was the same since. Our weekly hangouts became a formality for blowjobs and unskilled habdjobs. I was a boy enraptured, but also entranced. Where he was happy to play a few rounds of Mario kart and swap unlearned, static, blowjobs (resting our hands on the others shoulders was seemingly erotic), I was intimately concerned with the turn our brotherhood had taken. Was I just a mouth? A hand? Did my prowess in SMASH BROS. mean nothing anymore? This was my first sexual relationship that developed from something more, and it was fittingly confusing. By the time I was 16, our sexual encounters had all but stopped, preceded by a loooong period of him knocking on my bedroom door, at midnight friday night, and me being DAMN SURE I'd be at my dad's house to answer his call. He started playing football at his high school and I, well I, started my first bought of celibacy. He had realized something I hadn't and ultimately it presented itself years later: I WAS GAY. He dated cheerleaders and had pregnancy scares. I listened to Hole and Joan Jett. It cast the dye for years to come. Even though it's been ten years since I've given him more than a handshake, I still think of our burgeoning sexual experience together, and the fact that I could have lost my virginity to him (though at the time I said "that would mean a lot to me, since I'm gay and that's sex to me...and since you're straight, it wouldn't mean the same thing to you....you know?" And he said "yeah") I have only recently been able to look him in the eye. Not because I'm ashamed, but because he's the guy I lost my first of firsts to.. He was the one my closest friends knew I fooled around with, that my mom and sister found out about, that I proved my homosexuality with. Yes he is my type. No, I don't have a photo of him (he's pushing a Xxl these days). But this is why I flirt with my stepbrother, because even now, as a juvenile 26 year old, I still have the unspoken bound with him. If he beats me in SMASH BROS.; he gets sucked first. But he never beat me in SMASH BROS.

#pastaotter #christmas