MY TEARS RICOCHET ✩ KATNISS EVERDEEN
summary : when katniss volunteers for prim for the hunger games, you have to say your final goodbye as well as telling her that you’re in love with her because you may never have the chance to
a/n : i’m rereading and rewatching the hunger games, man i forget how heartbreaking of a series it is so why not write more sadness. this is kind of short and bad but oh well
tw : mentions of gale (that may trigger some) & mentions of death as well as one mention of feeling like throwing up
when you’d heard prim’s name called out from the loud voice of effie trinket, you could’ve sworn the whole world had stopped. because there was no way she had been reaped on her first year and there was no way katniss was going to allow prim to go.
your eyes had fallen on the little blonde who wasn’t moving, staring blankly at the stage that was in front of her. the girls around her broke off, allowing a path for prim to walk through.
she fiddled with the braids that you’d done for her early that morning, whispering little words about the garden you kept outside your house to her. she always liked to listen to those stories.
katniss was standing next to you and you could already feel her tense. you turned to look at her, hand slipping into hers. “katniss,” you breathed out.
you gripped tightly onto her hand, but hers fell through yours. she wasn’t there, she just stared open mouthed.
she shook her head, eyes never leaving prim’s body. “no, no,” she broke off from you and pushed through the crowd.
a soft ‘katniss’ fell from your lips as she ran. “prim!” she screamed, trying to push past the peacekeepers. “prim!” her hand made contact with one of the peacekeepers masks.
you shuffled past the other girls, trying to catch up to katniss. now was not the time for her to get arrested for assaulting a peacekeeper.
just as you were about to get through the group of girls your age to grab onto katniss you heard her scream. “i volunteer! i volunteer!”
you let out a shaky breath watching as katniss shoved the peacekeepers out of the way and looked effie trinket right in the eye.
“i volunteer as tribute.”
she didn’t wait for a response from effie, she just sprinted over to prim who was still staring blankly at everything. confused.
she wrapped her arms tightly around the small girl before kneeling in front of her. you couldn’t hear what she was saying but you knew prim didn’t like it because she started to cry.
prim was yelling no over and over again and katniss was shaking her head, apologies spilling out her mouth. you walked past a peacekeeper quickly, watching as he followed you.
“prim,” you mumbled gently, offering your hand. she was still crying and shaking her head.
katniss’ eyes met yours and if it wasn’t for your current location, you would of broken down into tears.
because no matter what happened, your best friend was going into the arena or little prim was, who you’d known for so long she was basically your younger sister.
and you couldn’t do anything to stop it.
prim wouldn’t let go of katniss nor would she take your hand. “come with me prim, it’s okay,” you whispered, still looking right at katniss.
prim took your hand, tears slipping down her cheeks. “i’m sorry prim,” katniss said, standing up as a peacekeeper placed his hand on her shoulder.
you watched as she was spun around and walked off to the stage. you couldn’t care less about what effie was saying. all you cared about was katniss.
you led prim over to asterid who immediately hugged the younger girl. the big screens now showed a scared katniss, her eyes wandering over the crowd.
“what’s your name?” effie asked, hands wrapped around the metal mic as if all of this was normal. as if children weren’t being sent to fight to the death.
katniss’ eyes fell on yours and you had to bring a hand up to your mouth to avoid letting out the sob that so badly wanted to escape.
katniss was going into the hunger games.
and she was probably going to die.
you’d been waiting outside a room that katniss was supposedly in. prim and asterid had gone in first, then gale, then madge and the boy tribute, peeta’s dad.
in hindsight you should of gone earlier so you could have said goodbye for longer, because now you probably only had fifteen minutes, but you weren’t ready to accept that this was a final goodbye.
so you’d let everyone go before you, because the thought of walking in there and saying goodbye to your best friend made you want to topple over and throw up.
the second mr mellark had left the room, the peacekeeper standing guard nodded at you, telling you to go on.
katniss was stood at the other end of the room, up against the wall, staring blankly at the floor.
when you came in, she looked up immediately, eyes searching yours.
you couldn’t stop yourself. you crossed to the other end of the room and hugged her, tears already streaming down your face.
“this isn’t fair,” you mumbled into her shoulder.
“i know.” she said, rubbing your back.
“i hate this. all of this.”
katniss didn’t respond, just held you tighter, head buried deep in the crook of your neck.
the two of you stayed in one another’s arms for what you wished felt like forever, because you didn’t actually want to let her go. if you hugged her for so long would they not be able to take her?
no. they’d take her anyways.
which meant if you didn’t tell her everything you ever wanted to now, you probably never would.
you wiped your eyes with the back of your hands, sniffed and sighed. “i’m going to tell you something because i will forever regret it if i don’t do it now and something happens to you.”
her gray eyes searched yours and she nodded.
“i…” you sighed and began to pace back and forth. “i think i like you katniss. which is a shitty thing to say before you go and… and you know fight for your life but i said i was saying things so!”
you didn’t stop walking, not wanting to see katniss’ reaction because it would most likely be negative and you didn’t need anymore negativity right now.
“i think i have for a while but i’m too much of a wuss to say anything until well now! and i know that you probably don’t feel anything because why would you? you have gale. he definitely likes you.”
you let out a bitter laugh at that which sounded strange out your own mouth. after katniss, he was your best friend, so you weren’t sure why you felt so angry when you thought about the two together.
sure, you wanted it to be you, but that shouldn’t stop you from being happy for your friends.
“katniss i…” you stopped and turned to her, walking slowly towards her and placing your hands on her shoulders. “you need to win.”
for the first time since you’d started talking you looked at her face, which was relaxed. she was still looking intently at you and her arms were instinctively reaching up to grab onto yours.
it was so silent you could almost hear the conversations going on outside the door.
“yeah. yeah, i think so.”
she sighed and pushed off the walls, which made your arms fall to your side. “i wish you’d told me sooner.”
your eyebrows furrowed. “what?”
“you. you should have told me sooner. because i really like you too. i wish i’d told you more romantically though.”
your stomach twisted in a terrible yet beautiful knot. a feeling you could not explain. katniss liked you.
“i’ll try and win for you then.”
you shook your head. “no. win for prim. she needs you.”
she stared blankly at you. “can’t i win for the both of you?”
you sighed and hugged her once more. “whatever, as long as you make it out alive.”
she hugged you back just as the door opened. “times up ladies.”
you pulled back, looked at the door which had a peacemaker standing in the way, back to the two of you.
you turned back to katniss and kissed her cheek softly. “i’ll be rooting for you, kat.”
