rafe isn’t usually a morning person, but today he’s already up before you.
you notice the second you scramble into the bathroom, still half asleep, hair a mess, his old shirt swallowing you while he stands in front of the mirror, working at the buttons of his cuffs with concentrated look that makes your belly feel funny.
he looks so different like this. so put together and serious. important.
“rafey,” you mumble softly, voice still thick with sleep. his eyes flicker to you in the mirror immediately, his expression softening just a little at the sight of you leaning in the doorway in one of his t-shirts.
“morning, baby,” he says, voice low, rough in that way it always is when he’d rather be sleeping but has to wake up cause as he claims wants to make a fortune for the both of you.
you wander in slowly, your bare feet padding against the floor, and without even asking, you hoist yourself up onto the bathroom counter beside him. it’s become routine at this point, it's your spot whenever he’s getting ready.
he doesn’t even question it anymore. just shifts slightly so you have a little space, his hand coming to rest against your thigh like he needs to touch you without thinking.
you swing your legs gently, watching him adjust his tie, brows slightly furrowed in concentration.
“you nervous?” you ask softly. he lets out a quiet huff through his nose. “not nervous.”
you look at him trying not to giggle. “a little nervous.”
his lips twitch at that, but he doesn’t argue. instead, he glances at you through the mirror again, fingers smoothing down the front of his shirt.
“it’s just a meeting,” he mutters.
“a really big meeting,” you correct gently, leaning forward to tug lightly at the knot of his tie, fixing it where it looked a bit crooked. “don’t downplay it. you’ve been working toward this for months.”
he watches you through the mirror while you fix it, something soft in his eyes.
“it always looks better when you do it,” he murmurs quietly.
you smile a little at that, pleased with yourself before leaning back to where you were before.
“i packed your lunch,” you say casually, swinging your feet again. “sandwich, the chips you like, and that weird little protein bar that's disgusting.”
he lets out a quiet chuckle under his breath, shaking his head slightly.
“sweetheart,” he mutters, big blue eyes glancing at you again. “you didn’t have to do that.”
“i wanted to,” you reply simply, like it’s obvious. because it is.
you study him for a moment, taking in the way he looks today, hair styled perfectly, sleeves rolled up a touch, freshly shaved. there’s something about seeing him like this that makes pride swell in your chest.
“I'm so excited for tonight,” you add after a moment, voice happier now. “you promised dinner, remember?”
his hand slides from your thigh to your knee, squeezing it gently.
“didn’t forget,” he assures you.
“good,” you hum, smiling to yourself. “i already picked out what i’m wearing.”
he raises a brow slightly. “yeah?”
“yeah,” you grin, leaning into him. “and you’re gonna like it. a lot.”
that earns a smirk from him, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly.
“i already do,” he murmurs.
you giggle at that before launching into the next thing on your mind without thinking twice, literally acting as if he doesn't have a meeting and the two of you are gonna sit here talking all day.
“oh! speaking of tonight, you will not believe what happened yesterday,” you start, settling more comfortably on the counter. “topper and ruthie got into it again, and i swear, rate, it was over the dumbest thing.”
he glances at you through the mirror again, clearly half listening while sliding his watch onto his wrist. “what now?” he asks, voice distracted but he's still interested in what you have to say.
“topper forgot to pick her up,” you explain, eyes widening for dramatic effect. “again. and she made this whole speech about him not respecting her time, and he just stood there like he didn’t even know what day it was.”
rafe laughs quietly under his breath at that. “sounds about right,” he mutters.
“and then sarah tried to fix it but somehow she made it even worse,” you add, shaking your head. “i swear, this friend group is a mess.”
he lets out another quiet chuckle, shaking his head slightly as he finishes adjusting his cuffs.
“yeah, well,” he murmurs, stepping a little closer to you now, his hands sliding naturally to your hips where you sit on the counter. “at least you’re not the messy one.”
you smile softly at that, leaning forward just enough that your forehead brushes lightly against his.
“i’m proud of you, you know,” you say quietly.
that stops him. his hands tighten just slightly on your hips, his expression shifting into something softer than before.
“yeah?” he asks, voice lower now. you nod once. “yeah. you’ve been working really hard for this. you deserve it.”
he doesn’t answer right away. just looks at you for a long moment like he’s trying to memorize the way you said it, like he wants to remember it forever.
then his hand slides up slightly, fingers brushing gently along your jaw before he leans in and presses a soft kiss against your temple.
“thanks, baby,” he murmurs quietly. you smile, leaning into him for a second before pulling back with a small, playful grin. “ just don’t mess it up,” you tease lightly.
he huffs out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “not planning on it.”
you hop down from the counter then, smoothing your hands down his shirt before stepping back to admire him. “you look really good, rafey,” you add with a proud little smile. “like so scary and important.”
he smirks, reaching out to pull you closer one more time before he leaves. “better be ready by seven tonight, sweetheart,” he murmurs, voice low near your ear.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who noticed you the first time you walked into the room with sarah. your laugh soft, with that twinkle in your eyes. the second sarah caught him looking, her expression shut down instantly, a quiet, sharp “no.” like she already knew exactly where his mind was going.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who actually listens to sarah at first. keeping his distance, barely looking at you, forcing himself to treat you like just another one of her friends, but it doesn’t last, because every time you’re around, his attention drifts right back to you like it’s a magnetic pull.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who starts with those subtle glances again, quick at first, then slower, heavier, and you always catch them, always hold his gaze just long enough to make his jaw tighten, but your glance is of annoyance, knowing his reputation.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who talks about you like it’s nothing to topper and kelce, brushing it off, but your name comes up a little too often, his tone just slightly different, gaze a little love struck enough for them to notice.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who finds reasons to be in the same space as you, walking into rooms you and sarah are in, leaning in the doorways, making annoying comments on the things you're both doing, or hovering just enough to get your attention without making it obvious.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who realizes real quick you don’t treat him like everyone else does, rolling your eyes, brushing past him, muttering a quiet “fuck off, Rafe” when he blocks your path, and instead of backing off, it only makes him push more, his forbidden fruit.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who tests the line constantly by standing too close in empty hallways, letting his hand brush yours, watching you carefully like he’s waiting for you to pull away, and noticing when you don’t.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who ends up alone with you one time and doesn’t move out of your way, head tilted, smirk slow, “you’re different when sarah’s not around.” and something about the way you don’t deny it? yeah, that’s where it clicks for him.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who somehow gets your number and starts texting you, casual at first like it’s the most insignificant thing in the world, then with purpose and he sees the exact moment you stop pretending you’re not interested, and he steals the opportunity with quickness.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who corners you in the kitchen when the house is quiet, voice low, stepping into your space like he’s been waiting for this “i know what you’re doing, right” a small tilt of his head, “what do you mean?” you reply. his eyes flicking to your lips, “this little game” and when you don’t walk away, his lips find yours, closing the distance.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who who wasn’t supposed to cross that line, but now that he has, there’s is absolutely no going back. he keeps it secret at first, saying things like a quiet “come here,” slipping you down hallways and into his room, the door shutting quick behind you like second nature.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who always keeps one ear out for footsteps, but still lingers, still keeps you close a second longer than he should, like he physically can’t help it.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who, right before you leave his room, grabs your wrist and pulls you back in for one more second, forehead resting against yours, “you’re trouble,” he mutters, and when you whisper, “you started it,” he just smirks satisfied “oh and i’m not stoppin’ sweetheart.”
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who tries to fix your hair before you leave, straightens your clothes, with a low voice right by your ear, “you’re fine baby, just act normal.” like he didn’t just make that impossible, like that ‘baby’ didn’t just make you weak at the knees.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who acts like nothing’s happening in front of everyone, barely looks at you but somehow, you both always disappear at the same time at parties, reappearing minutes later like nothing happened, and no one suspects it, because you act like you hate him in front of people.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who actually catches you staring at him across the room and doesn’t look away this time, just smirks knowingly. later, when he finally gets you alone, he leans in close, voice low “keep lookin’ at me like that in front of everyone, and see what happens.”
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who thrives off the secrecy of it. the risk of it all, the way you both have to listen for doors opening, or voices getting too close. and the way you come back flustered every single time, rambling excuses.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who brushes past you in a crowded room, fingers grazing your lower back just enough to make your stomach flutter, and without even looking at you, he mutters, “meet me upstairs in five.” and the worst part? you always go.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who watches you text the groupchat, “can’t today, next time!” while you’re sitting right next to him, and that smug little smirk settles, with that proud pit in his stomach like he’s saying ‘yeah, she chose me.’
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who overhears some assholes at the country club talking about how they want to hook up with you, and has to control himself from becoming his old reckless self again. but smirks saying “i think she’s taken” with a shrug
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who texts you while you’re sitting right next to sarah with no shame, phone buzzing in your hand,
rafe: you look prettyand when you glance up, he’s already watching you, eyes low, leaning back like nothing’s wrong
you: you’re gonna get us caughtrafe: that’s the the risk of the game
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who tells himself it’s just a fling at first, you’re just sneaking around, or it’s just something to pass time. but he keeps coming back, he keeps pulling you aside, he keeps wanting more than just a few minutes, and even a few minutes to him isn’t becoming enough anymore.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who gets irritated when you pull away, questioning what you’re doing. his jaw’s tight, voice lowering out of hurt and annoyance, “you’re still here, aren’t you?” like that alone proves you feel it too.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who starts blurring the lines without even realizing. spending more time and longer nights together. the moments becoming more intimate until you both realize it’s not just a fling anymore.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who shows up to your house one night with hibiscus flowers, because you briefly mentioned once you liked them. acting like it’s the most normal thing, given your ‘situation’ but he’s watching your reaction a little too closely for it to just be nothing.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who starts taking you out, but always somewhere off the obx, on the mainland, somewhere no one will recognize you, no chance of it getting back to sarah, or any of your other friends.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who is still cocky and a little dangerous, but softer with you in ways he doesn’t even realize, like it just natural.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who loves when you start soft launching him on instagram, with pictures like your hand in his, or his chain, or his shoulder, but never his face. just enough to have people asking questions, and people, including sarah asked many questions.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who overhears people talking about your ‘mystery man’ and just leans back, smirking to himself, because they have no idea it’s him, the one person it shouldn’t be.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who kinda treats it like a game, sneaking around, and he loves how long you both get away with it.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who starts getting more careless over time, holding onto you a little longer, looking at you a little too openly, sending winks your way, like he’s slowly caring less about who finds out.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who realizes he’s in too deep when it stops feeling like a game and starts feeling like he wants it to be his normal, like he doesn’t just want secret moments anymore, he wants all of it, he wants people to know you’re his.
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who gets a little jealous when someone’s talking to you too long, stepping in casually, arm brushing yours, “she’s busy,” he says smoothly, eyes not leaving yours, then quieter, just to you, “or you forgot that?”
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who doesn’t care he’s just did that in a crowd of people, “are you fucking insane?” you ask him, shocked he would defend you like that so publicly, he leans down to your ear, his lips almost brushing your skin, “pretty girl i dont give a fuck who’s watchin’ anymore.”
bsfriendsbrother!rafe who knows you’re hesitant because of sarah. he knows that once she finds out all hell will break loose. she’ll be angry about the line you crossed the second you let him even touch you. but would rather deal with sarah’s anger, than pretend he doesn’t want you and everything that entails you anymore.
𝒮𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎: in which you being Sarah Cameron’s best friend having a crush on her brother , you , Sarah , rafe and some of his friends head out for a tan and beach day , which turns heated after the trip
𝒫𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃ℊ𝓈 :Bsfbrother!Rafe Cameron X F!Reader
𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃ℊ𝓈: 18+ Mdni , fingering ( f! Receiving) , semi public sex , cursing , Smut , open ending ? ( might have a part 2 )
You’d been staring at Rafe for the past ten minutes like he was the only person in the entire backyard.
His hair had grown out nicely .
no more of that severe buzzcut he used to rock.
The longer, sun bleached strands fell messily over his forehead, and every time he ran a hand through them, your stomach flipped.
He looked taller, broader in the shoulders, the muscles in his arms flexing under his tight t-shirt as he laughed at something Kelce said.
The man had filled out in all the right ways, and damn if your body wasn’t reacting immediately.
You pressed your thighs together, trying to ignore the growing heat between your legs.
Sarah’s sharp elbow to your ribs nearly made you yelp.
“Ow!” you hissed, rubbing the spot.
Topper and Kelce glanced over with raised eyebrows, but Rafe didn’t even look up.
He stayed relaxed in his chair, legs spread wide, the picture of effortless dominance.
Sarah smirked, leaning closer.
“Why don’t we take the yacht out? It’s been forever since we’ve been on the water.”
She turned to her brother with that sweet, manipulative smile she knew worked on him.
“Come on, Rafe. Please?”
Rafe’s blue eyes flicked from his sister to you.
The intensity in them made your breath hitch.
You weren’t paying attention to the conversation anymore, you were too busy memorizing the sharp cut of his jaw, the way his gaze darkened when it lingered on your body.
Heat crawled up your neck.
He exhaled through his nose, pretending to be annoyed.
“Fine. I’ll get the yacht ready.”
Sarah squealed and immediately grabbed your wrist, dragging you upstairs to change.
You both slipped into bikinis ,hers a classic red, yours the pink polka-dot set that made you feel dangerously confident.
By the time you stepped back outside, the boys were already down at the dock.
The yacht bobbed gently in the water, tied securely to the cleat.
Topper and Kelce were bickering loudly over the engine, shoving each other like overgrown children.
Rafe turned around the moment you approached and froze.
His eyes raked slowly down your body, taking in every curve the tiny bikini barely contained.
The way the fabric hugged your breasts, the high cut of the bottoms that showed off your hips and ass.
You watched his throat bob as he swallowed hard.
For a second, it looked like his brain had completely powered down.
Sarah hopped onto the yacht first. Rafe offered her a hand politely, but when you stepped up, his large palm settled firmly on your waist instead.
His fingers splayed across your bare skin, warm and possessive, pulling you closer than necessary.
The touch sent electricity racing through you. Sarah shot him a suspicious side eye, but he ignored her completely.
The afternoon passed in a blur of laughter, music, and splashing water.
But as the sun dipped lower, painting the sky in deep oranges and pinks, the others started heading back.
Kelce, Topper, and Sarah tied off the yacht and disappeared into the house, their voices fading up the lawn.
You stayed behind, sitting on the floor of the yacht with your legs dangling over the edge, watching the sunset.
The gentle rocking of the boat and the warm breeze felt peaceful.
Until Rafe dropped down beside you.
He sat so close his thigh pressed against yours.
For a long moment, neither of you spoke.
Then his hand landed on your knee, sliding slowly upward, fingertips tracing the inside of your thigh.
One thing led to another… fast.
Now you were straddling his lap, your bikini bottoms shoved aside as two of his thick fingers thrust deep inside your soaked pussy.
His thumb worked tight, relentless circles over your swollen clit.
You were trembling, hands gripping his broad shoulders, head tipped back while shameless moans fell from your lips.
“Fuck, you’re incredibly wet,” Rafe groaned into your neck, voice low and rough.
His mouth latched onto one of your nipples, sucking hard through the thin pink fabric until you cried out.
The wet heat of his tongue combined with the steady thrust of his fingers had you seeing stars.
Your hips rolled desperately against his hand, chasing the pleasure.
The coil in your stomach tightened unbearably.
“Rafe— M’gonna cum—”
He didn’t answer with words.
Instead, he curled his fingers, hitting that perfect spot inside you while his thumb pressed firmer.
His free hand gripped your ass, guiding your movements.
The tension snapped hard.
Your thighs shook violently as you came, a broken moan tearing from your throat.
Rafe kept pumping through it, drawing out every last wave until you were panting and boneless against his chest.
You buried your face in his neck, trying to catch your breath.
He kissed along your jaw and throat, surprisingly gentle after how filthy he’d just been.
“Yo, Rafe! You coming inside or what?!” Kelce yelled from the garden, squinting through the dim light.
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there in a sec !” Rafe shouted back, voice husky.
He slowly pulled his fingers out of you, deliberately dragging them along your sensitive folds before wiping them on the front of your bikini bottoms with a smirk.
He pressed one last lingering, open mouthed kiss to the side of your neck, then stood up.
As he turned to leave, he paused, looking back at you with dark, hungry eyes that promised so much more.
“Meet me in my bedroom tonight” he said, voice low enough that only you could hear.
“Late. After everyone’s asleep. Don’t make me wait, baby.”
He gave you one last heated look before climbing off the yacht, leaving you flushed, half naked, and already throbbing with anticipation on the gently rocking deck.
summary: You’ve been Rafe’s secret for months now, but it all comes to a boiling point when he shows you he might really care.
warnings: swearings, talks of sex, drinking, some dumbification
word count: 4.2k
a/n: okay I kinda love this even though I feel like I lost the plot half way through lmao enjoy another draft I'm still bed bound with this cast on so ill try and pump out some more!! loves ya xoxo bunny
︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶
You stood in the kitchen of the Cameron’s house, pouring shots for you and Sarah, “Okay, ready?” you asked her as she grinned at you, “1..2..3!” she said, the two of you pouring the burning liquid down your throats, loving the feeling as it went down. You were definitely drunk. You put the glass down and giggled, “Is it bad that I don’t really taste it?” you asked the girl and laughed harder, “Wait, you're telling me that wasn’t water?” she laughed out.
This was possibly the biggest party you’ve ever been to, which is saying a lot for OBX. Sarah’s parents were gone for the weekend and practically everybody you’ve ever met was here. Even the Pogues, as per Sarah’s request. Ever since her and John B fell in love, they’ve been showing up to Figure Eight parties more often. Not that it really bothered you, you liked all of them, they were super nice to you, you were a Pogue after all… just maybe not by their standards.
Honestly, they found it pretty entertaining when they found out John B’s new boo already had connections to the Cut through the Pogue girl next door. You had lived up the road from John B for as long as you could remember, and in turn you had come to know the group as well as any neighbor could.
But what kept them at a distance was your draw to Kooks of all people.
You had always felt like their way of living, the cars, the pools, the yachts, was always more your type of bea than fishing and bonfires, and as a result you tended to surround yourself with the handful of Kook’s who didn’t care about your true social status.
Queue Sarah Cameron.
You had first met her freshman year, she joined you in playing beer pong and the two of you cleared every team that challenged you, drinking and laughing together all night.
You both ended up puking in her bathroom that night, but it bonded you and you’ve been inseparable best friends from opposite sides of the pond ever since.
Sarah made all of your dreams of being accepted in Kook life come true, she brought you to every party, every event, basically forced your presence on her friends and family until they had no other option but to love you. And they did. Except her older brother.
He couldn't understand how his little sister had gotten so close to the enemy... or how that enemy had gotten so close to him.
Rafe had always been skeptical of you, actively avoiding you when he’d see you around the house, or out with Sarah and Topper. He never smiled back at you when you awkwardly made eye contact, you would watch his eyes roll when you sat next to him, and you slept over at Tannyhill so often he thought you were trying to steal their goods and pawn them off, never said hello when he opened the front door to see you waiting, just got out of the way so you could come inside.
You were convinced he hated you.
Until three months ago.
After about a million slumber parties at Sarah’s, you were accustomed to her kitchen, so when you came downstairs to fill up your water bottle in the late hours of the night, you weren’t expecting a figure to be behind you when you backed up,
“Rafe, you scared me!” you whispered, putting your hand above your heart and catching your breath, “I didn’t even hear you come downstairs” you continued, your eyes adjusting to his dark shadowy figure standing an arms length away.
He looked you up and down, taking in the sight of you in your pajamas, little bunny slippers on, hair in a braid, so effortlessly beautiful, but also teasing. He took a breath before speaking, “I just got home,” he replied, his voice deep and quiet, taking a small step forward and reaching for your water bottle, “You mind?” he asked, looking down at you.
You shook your head, released your grip and watched him take a few chugs, his face shined from the moonlight and you could see his biceps flex, some sweat ran down his forehead and judging by the smell of his clothes, you could tell he had probably been at Barry’s.
But that didn’t change how intoxicating it was to watch him.
Once he finished, he handed the bottle back to you and you felt his fingers touch yours. This was the longest you and Rafe had ever been near each other, and the tension you felt was indescribable.
“Thanks” he muttered and wiped his mouth, taking a look around the kitchen but not abandoning his spot in front of you. You kept your gaze on him, you could feel the heat radiating off his body and it was making your stomach flip.
“You always up this late?” he asked, eyes flicking over to your hair, then your shoulder, slow and intentional. You shrugged and tried not to fidget under his stare, “No matter how many times I stay here, I still can’t get used to the quiet” you replied. The corner of his mouth twitched up, “Yeah, quiet’s one word for it”
Silence stretched between you two, and you became very aware of how close he was to you, how his arm brushed yours every time he breathed, “So…” you said, forcing a hushed tone, “You usually scare girls in the middle of the night or am I special?”
Your cheeks turn pink when he lets out a huffed laugh, shaking his head, “You don’t scare easy” he said, “I’ve noticed.”
You tilted your head, “You’ve noticed me?” which made his jaw tighten, like he hadn’t meant to let that slip, “I notice things” his tone was flat, but his eyes betrayed him, dark and focused, like you were the only person in the room. You swallowed before speaking.
“Could have fooled me” and just as you got the words out, he took a small step closer, just one step, but close enough you could smell the salt on his skin, a smell very familiar.
“You think I hate you” he said quietly, not a question but more a statement, like it’s exactly what he expected. You looked up, heart hammering, to meet his gaze, finding his eyes on yours, “Don’t you?”
For a moment, he looked conflicted. Then his eyes dropped to the string of your pajama shorts, fingers lifting without asking, twirling it once around his knuckle, “These are cute” he muttered, and your breath caught in your throat, “Rafe…” you whispered out, feeling as though the two of you were on your own planet, not in his families kitchen.
He inched closer to you, hands roaming around your back and down your ass before his chest was flush with yours and he was looking down at you, but the look in his face was unreadable. Like he had been avoiding you for this very reason…
Before you could think about it any deeper, he pulled you in for a kiss, hard and sudden, like he had been holding it back for months. You gasped into his mouth, surprised at his action, and slowly fell into rhythm with his movements. Your finger curled into his shirt and he began backing you into the counter, your hips locked together and light moans escaping your mouth.
Your back hit the counter softly, the cool counters a stark contrast from the heat between your bodies. Your lips colliding is the only sound in the room and it's completely drowned out by your thoughts. How did you get here? Why was Rafe kissing you? And why did it feel like he should have been kissing you for a long time?
He scooped you up to sit on the counter top, standing between your spread legs and kissing down your neck, giving small bites here and there while pawing at your body through your clothes. Your nails gripped his hair and neck and he let out a groan into your mouth before he reached his hand up to cup your jaw, thumb brushing just between your lips as if he was grounding himself- or stopping himself from going any further. He pulled back just enough to breathe.
“This can’t be more than this,” he said, voice low, almost rough. You blinked, still catching your breath. “More than… kissing me in your parents’ kitchen?” you asked and he clenched his jaw, “You know what I mean.”
You swallowed. “I don’t.”
He looked away, like meeting your eyes would make him lose whatever control he had left. “You’re Sarah’s best friend,” he said. “You’re a Pogue. And I—” He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t deal with that.” Your chest tightened. “But you can deal with touching me?” your voice came out quieter than you intended and his eyes snapped back to yours. “That’s the problem.”
The words hung heavy between you.
“I don’t hate you,” he said finally, quieter now. “I hate that I don’t hate you.”
Something in your expression must’ve shifted, because his hand slid back to your hip, grip firm but unsure. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he added. “But I’m not gonna pretend this can be something it’s not.” he said with such a matter of fact. You searched his face, trying to find where the line was- where Rafe Cameron ended and the boy in front of you began, “So what is it, then?” you asked softly.
His thumb pressed into your skin, like he needed the reminder you were real. “This,” he said. “When it happens. No expectations. No names.”
“And when it doesn’t?” you asked.
He hesitated. Just for a second.
“Then we act like nothing’s changed.”
You felt a pang of sadness and excitement hit you. The fact that Rafe wanted you was exhilarating, but the thought of being his secret... you couldn’t quite place the feeling.
“Okay,” you whispered, even though your stomach twisted saying it. His shoulders loosened, like he’d been bracing for a fight. He leaned in again, forehead resting against yours. “You’re gonna make this really hard for me,” he murmured and you let out a breathless laugh. “Funny. I was thinking the same thing.”
He kissed you once more—slower this time, like he was trying to memorize it—before pulling away for good.
“Go back upstairs,” he said gently. “Before I change my mind.”
You grabbed your water bottle with shaking hands and slipped past him, heart pounding, head spinning. As you disappeared up the stairs, Rafe stayed in the kitchen, staring at the spot where you’d been—knowing damn well this was only the beginning.
And that’s all you’ve been allowed. Stolen glances at dinner, the odd ass grab at parties, and long, hot nights moaning his name that make you forget just how embarrassing it really is.
You’re in a friend's with benefits relationship with your best friend's brother who doesn’t even really care to be friends… but how can he be so cold after you’ve shared such vulnerable moments together? The question had been burning in your throat for weeks, and when you finally asked him, his answer wasn’t exactly what you imagined,
“That’s a stupid question, do you date everyone you screw?” he scoffed as he zipped his pants back up, tossing your panties and shirt over to where you’re laying on his mattress.
The words hit harder than you expected, sharp and careless, like he hadn’t just had you wrapped around him minutes ago. You sat up slowly, pulling the sheet tighter around your chest as you watched him turn away from you, already reaching for his hoodie like this was nothing more than routine. Like you weren’t still trying to steady your breathing, trying to decide whether you were allowed to feel embarrassed or angry or just tired.
“I didn’t say that,” you replied quietly, fingers curling around the fabric in your lap. “I just asked if you cared.”
That made him pause.
Only for a second, but you noticed it- the way his shoulders stiffened, the way his jaw tightened before he finally turned back to look at you. His expression wasn’t smug anymore, wasn’t dismissive. It was conflicted, almost irritated, like the question itself pissed him off more than your tone ever could.
“Why are you doing this right now?” he asked, running a hand over his shaved head, “You know what this is.”
You nodded. “Yeah. I do. That’s kind of the problem.”
He let out a breath through his nose, pacing once across the room before stopping near the foot of the bed. “I don’t date,” he said, like he’d said it a hundred times before. “You knew that.”
“I also know you pretend I don’t exist in public,” you shot back before you could stop yourself. “At least, when everyone else is around.”
He looked at you then — really looked at you — eyes dark, unreadable, something heavy sitting behind them. “It’s not like that,” he said. “You know it’s not.”
“Then what is it like?” you asked. “Because I don’t know if I can do the silent treatment in public anymore.. not when you’re saying my name in private”
His mouth opened, then closed again, “You’re Sarah’s best friend,” he said finally. “And you’re a Pogue. And people already look for reasons to talk about me.”
“So you’re embarrassed,” you said, the word bitter on your tongue.
“No,” he snapped, a little too fast. “I’m not embarrassed of you.”
“Then say my name,” you challenged softly. “Out there. Just once.”
Silence filled the room, thick and uncomfortable.
He stepped closer to the bed, hands flexing at his sides like he wanted to touch you and didn’t trust himself to. “You think this is easy for me?” he asked, voice lower now. “You think I don’t care? Because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here every night.” he gestured to his room, the four walls where he kept you hidden.
“That’s the thing,” you said, meeting his eyes. “You are here. Just never anywhere else.”
Something in his expression cracked then- not enough to break, but enough to show you the truth underneath. He reached out, brushing his thumb along your knee, a small, grounding touch that felt too intimate for something he insisted meant nothing.
“I’m not gonna screw this up,” he said quietly. “For you. For Sarah. For me.”
You swallowed. “By pretending I don’t matter?”
He shook his head. “By not letting this become something I can’t control.”
The way he said it, like you were something... made your chest ache.
You didn’t answer. You just stood, pulling your clothes on slowly, deliberately, forcing yourself not to look back at him too much. He watched you the whole time, eyes following every movement like he was memorizing you again, like he always did before letting you leave.
At the door, you paused.
“For what it’s worth,” you said, hand on the knob, “I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t already know the answer.”
He didn’t respond. Not with words.
But as you stepped into the hallway, you felt his hand catch your wrist for just a second- not to stop you, just enough to remind you he was there.
“Be careful getting home,” he muttered.
Tonight was going to be different.
You told yourself that all week- that tonight you’d drink too much, laugh too loud, and stop waiting for Rafe to look at you like you mattered. You were done letting him own you only in the dark, done pretending that the way he ignored you in public didn’t crawl under your skin and stay there long after the sun came up. So you promised yourself that tonight, you’d forget him. You’d have fun with Sarah, dance until your legs hurt, maybe even let someone touch you who wasn’t him.
And for a while, it worked.
You’d already had more to drink than you should’ve, bottle swinging in your hand as the music thumped through Tannyhill, bass rattling the floors and walls. The house was packed- Kooks spilling out of every room, lights dimmed low and blue, laughter and shouting blurring together until it felt like you were floating through it all instead of really being there. You danced with Sarah and Kie in the middle of it, arms thrown around each other, singing lyrics you barely knew, laughing until your cheeks hurt.
Eventually, they drifted away, Kie complaining about her feet, Sarah disappearing to find John B, and you were left alone in the middle of the crowd, breathless and buzzing, suddenly aware of the empty space beside you.
You went for another drink.
The kitchen was just as packed, bodies brushing past you as you opened the fridge and grabbed a beer, the cold metal grounding you for a second. That was when you heard his voice — not loud, not calling for you, just there — and your stomach dropped before you even saw him.
Rafe was across the room, leaning against the counter with Topper and a few others, red cup in his hand, jaw tight as he laughed at something that clearly wasn’t funny. He looked the same as always- too confident, too put together, and it pissed you off how easily he fit into every room while you still felt like you were trespassing.
You looked away.You knew better than to stare. Three months of secret nights had taught you that much. He didn’t touch you in public. Didn’t talk to you unless he had to. Didn’t even acknowledge you most of the time, like whatever existed between you only came alive after midnight.
You didn’t even notice him approach until he was right there, close enough that you could feel the heat of him at your back, “Planning on blacking out, or is this just for fun?” he asked quietly.
You turned, already annoyed that he’d found you. “What, now you care?” you said, tipping the beer back anyway.
His eyes flicked to your face, lingering a second too long. “I care that you don’t end up puking on my parents’ floor.”
You laughed, humorless. “Relax. I’ll aim for the lawn.”
For a moment, neither of you moved. The noise of the party faded just enough for the tension to slip in — thick, familiar, suffocating. His gaze dropped to your mouth, then quickly away, like he hated himself for it.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said.
You scoffed. “That’s rich.”
“I’m serious,” he pressed, stepping closer, voice low. “What’s your problem?”
You looked up at him then, really looked at him, and felt that familiar ache in your chest. “You don’t get to ask me that,” you said. “Not when you only remember I exist when no one’s watching.”
His jaw clenched. “This isn’t the place.”
“Funny,” you replied, grabbing another drink, “because this is the only place you ever forget about me completely.”
You didn’t wait around for his response. You left the kitchen and went back into the crowd, letting the music swallow you whole. You danced harder this time, recklessly, body loose with alcohol and frustration, until someone unfamiliar slid in behind you — hands settling at your hips, tentative at first.
You didn’t pull away.
The guy introduced himself, some tourist, some name you’d forget, and you let him press closer, let his hands wander, let yourself laugh and move like this was all you wanted. It felt good to not think for once, to not measure every move against what Rafe might think.
But from across the room, Rafe saw everything.
He tried not to stare. Tried to tell himself it wasn’t his business, that he had no claim to you, that this was exactly why he kept his distance. But it didn’t matter. The sight of someone else touching you- openly, carelessly… made something ugly twist in his chest.
Topper was talking. Sarah was laughing. None of it registered.
All Rafe could see was you- your head thrown back, your hands on someone else’s shoulders, your body moving like you weren’t his at all. And that was the problem.
He didn’t want you… or he shouldn’t want you.
But watching you with someone else made it painfully clear that whatever he’d been pretending these past three months was a lie he’d told himself - and it was starting to unravel.
He didn't even remember deciding to move.
One second he was standing near the edge of the room, knuckles white around an empty cup, telling himself to look away, to let it go, to do what he always did and swallow it down until it burned itself out. And the next, he was cutting through the crowd with purpose, shoulders tense, jaw set, eyes locked on you like you were the only thing in the room worth paying attention to.
You didn’t notice him at first.
You were laughing at something the guy behind you said, head tipped back slightly, hair brushing his cheek as his hands rested a little too comfortably at your hips. It wasn’t even that intimate, not really, but it felt unbearable anyway. The way you looked relaxed. Open. Unhidden.
Rafe reached you before he could talk himself out of it.
“Hey,” he said sharply, hand wrapping around your wrist.
You startled, turning fast, annoyance already on your face until you realized who it was. The expression shifted- surprise, confusion, something like hope you didn’t want to acknowledge before you masked it, “What?” you snapped, tugging your hand slightly. “I’m busy.”
The guy behind you hesitated, sensing the tension immediately. “You good?” he asked, glancing between the two of you.
Rafe didn’t even look at him. “Yeah,” he said flatly. “She is” his grip tightening just enough to make his point clear, and after a beat, the guy backed off, muttering something under his breath as he disappeared into the crowd.
You turned back to Rafe, eyes blazing. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I need to talk to you,” he said, voice low and strained.
“No,” you shot back. “You don’t. Not tonight.”
You tried to step around him, but he blocked you without thinking, the movement instinctive. “Please,” he said, and the word sounded foreign coming out of his mouth.
That stopped you.
“What?” you asked almost helplessly, “What do you want from me?”
He exhaled hard, running a hand through his hair, the mask slipping just enough to show the chaos underneath. “I can’t watch that,” he admitted, gesturing vaguely to where you’d been dancing. “I thought I could. I can’t.”
You laughed, short and disbelieving. “You don’t get to decide who touches me,” you said. “You made that pretty clear.”
“I know,” he replied. “And that’s the problem.”
The music pulsed around you, people brushing past, voices loud and careless, completely unaware that something was breaking right there in the middle of it all. Rafe stepped closer, lowering his voice even more.
“You think I don’t feel this?” he asked. “You think I don’t wake up every morning knowing exactly how bad I’m screwing this up?”
You swallowed, heart pounding. “Then why do you keep doing it?”
His eyes searched your face, desperate now, stripped of their usual arrogance. “Because if I admit what this is,” he said quietly, “I lose control. And I don’t know how to do that without losing everything else too.”
“Everything else?” you repeated. “Or your pride?”
His jaw clenched. “Those are the same thing where I come from.”
The words stung, but at least they were honest.
“I’ve spent my whole life being told what I’m supposed to want,” he continued, voice tight. “Who I’m supposed to be seen with. What makes me look weak.” He paused, swallowing hard. “And you… you don’t fit into any of it.”
You felt your chest ache. “So you hide me.”
“I protect myself,” he corrected automatically, then stopped, shaking his head. “No. I hide you.”
Silence stretched between you, thick and painful.
“I can’t do this anymore,” you said softly. “I can’t be something you only love in the dark.”
His breath hitched.
“Don’t say it like that,” he murmured.
“But that’s what it is, Rafe.”
He looked at you then like he was seeing you clearly for the first time, like the weight of what he’d been risking finally outweighed the fear of being seen.
“I love you,” he said, the words rough and unpolished, like they hurt to say. “Just not in a way that’s ever been safe for me.”
Your eyes widened, emotions colliding all at once. “You don’t get to say that now.”
“I do,” he insisted, stepping even closer. “Because I can’t stomach watching someone else do it better. I can’t watch someone hold you out here like you don’t have to be hidden, when I’ve been loving you behind closed doors like it’s something to be ashamed of.”
People were starting to notice. A few glances. A few curious pauses.
Rafe noticed too.
“I’m terrified,” he admitted, voice barely above a whisper. “But I’m more terrified of losing you.”
Before you could respond, before you could think, he cupped your face in both hands and kissed you — slow, deliberate, unmistakable. Not rushed. Not desperate. A kiss meant to be seen.
The room didn’t disappear, and that was the point.
You felt every pair of eyes that landed on you, felt the weight of what he was doing- what he was choosing.
When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, “I don’t know how to do this right,” he said. “But I’m done pretending you don’t mean the world to me.”
Your heart was racing, your head spinning, the future suddenly unclear in a way it had never been before. Standing there in the middle of it all, you realized that for the first time, Rafe Cameron had chosen you over the version of himself he’d been trying so hard to protect.
This was your first sleepover now that you had a close group of friends, the Pogues. You spent the summer hanging out with them, and this weekend, Sarah suggested a sleepover at her house.
cw: +18 MDNI, SMUT, oral (f rec), fingering, angst if you squint, adults skinny dipping, adults getting drunk, adults smoking weed, accidentally flashing tits (lol), overstim if you squint...
word count: 6.1k
note: a bit long but just wait for it😏😏
It would be just the girls, Kiara, Sarah, and you. Of course, her siblings would be there too, since it was their house as well. Whezzie wasn’t someone you guys needed to worry about, but Rafe could be quite challenging.
He had a thing for teasing Sarah's friends, and as you started spending more time with Sarah, he began to bother you as well.
His behavior was sometimes hard to handle, especially since his stupidly handsome face could drown out all your reasonable thoughts.
His horrible attitude was a red flag with legs. But deep down in you, you were down for him. You just needed a little something to accept it.
As you arrived, Sarah hugged you and helped you gather your stuff to her room, while Kiara and Whezzie were in the kitchen. Sarah's room was beside Rafes's, so this would probably be a long night.
You guys made your way downstairs and started helping Kiara, and Whezzie made the snacks for the night, which consisted of a lot of chips, sour candies, and juice, but not a normal one.
“Now close your eyes, child.” Sarah said jokingly to Whezzie.
“How funny.” She answered, faking a smile. Since Whezzie was the only minor now, Sarah teased her, also not forgetting that one time she got drunk with Topper, and it was a mess, even if they would allow her to drink without snitch, she wanted nothing more to do with it.
Sarah got 2 bottles out of a drawer, a vodka and a sparkling wine. This was their first summer drinking (legally), which has kept them all excited about it.
You and Kiara got a big bowl and added pineapple, strawberries, watermelon, peach, lime, and blueberries. Whezzie poured the cranberry juice, and Sarah finally added the ice cubes, vodka, and sparkling wine.
“So... who's thirsty?” Kiara asked, and everyone started pouring into their glasses.
“Wuhh... that's- that's insane.” You said closing your eyes and laughing at the flavor, it was so good and strong. Perfect.
Sarah and Kiara kept drinking and drinking, as the drink got into them, they started to get a bit clumsy and laugh at everything.
Cleaning the kitchen. Kiara danced while setting up the music. “Yup... this is the one girls” she said as My humps by Black Eyed Peas started playing. The three of you started to laugh at Kiara dancing and acting out the song. “Come on, girls, don't leave me here alone.”
The song kept playing, and the dance kept getting ridiculous but funny, and the rap part was coming, you had no idea, but this song was their song. They started a sing/dance along thing.
“And mix your milk.” Kiara was pointing to Sarah, and Sarah to herself.
The next line. “With my Coco Puffs,” Kiara was now pointing to herself and Sarah, to Kiara, noticing them getting way too close, jokingly flirting. “Milky, milky Coco.” You couldn't help but burst out laughing and spit out your drink at getting the meaning of the lines.
“Oh gosh.” Whezzie covered her eyes and poured herself a bit of cranberry juice with a lime, and she called it a day, leaving the girls and your drunk selves alone.
Once the kitchen was clean, the music kept playing. You got tipsier, and you guys decided to make the dinner, pizzas, easy isn't? You have to make the dough, add some toppings, 15 minutes in the oven, and it was done, well, that took you all so long, and with how spent you were it took even more, the house was full of big laughs, and screams.
You were now against the kitchen counter, watching the kitchen mess again, getting a bit out of the state of happiness, excitement, and drunkenness you were in, with flour all over the counters and your hands and theirs, you appreciated the use of aprons.
Suddenly, you felt a new presence in the room.
“Oh, Sarah, you are so screwed.” He laughed, eating some of your fruit. You turned to look at him and rolled your eyes. Kiara was now hitting his hand, stopping him from eating more of your stuff.
“We are cleaning all this, what do you want?” Sarah asked his brother with a sigh.
“Relax, sis, I'm just spending time in my home. Am I prohibited from doing so?” You laughed with a scoff. He was impossible.
He looked at you with a sideways grin, you swallowed and turned quickly to look at the pizza in the oven. They saw and got confused, but it was quickly brushed aside by Rafe’s next action. “Well, I was just coming to get some water and food. I'm human, too. I have to eat.”
Sarah knew he did nothing without a hidden intention. “Make it quick.” She added, and he elevated his hands, acting innocent.
He made his way to the refrigerator, gathered his food, and was about to leave when he settled his stuff at the counter beside you. They got confused, and you did too. He looked at you in the eyes and got closer. You were in shock. What was he doing? In a normal situation, not being drunk, at the moment he got closer than 1 arm from you, you would have gotten out of there so quickly, but here he was now, at mere centimeters from your face, his hand got closer, and he cleaned your nose with his thumb, since it was covered with flour.
“I don't wish our parents to get the wrong idea out of you.” he said with a smirk as the flour simulated another thing. You all knew his past and relapses, so him, making a joke out of it wasn't new. He looked behind you at Kiara and Sarah, smiled playfully, and left the kitchen.
“What the hell was that about?” Kiara was the first one to talk. You turned to look at them, an unreadable face on you. Sarah looked startled as well. “That was gross.”
You bite your lip, without even thinking about it.
“Shit.” Kiara looked at Sarah. “She's into him.”
You were about to protest. “Wh-”
Sarah covered her mouth. "She is." Sarah laughed but also looked disgusted.
"What? What are-" You tried to fight it.
Kiara kept laughing, and you couldn't help but do so too. "Stop, please, oh gosh... It just got me by surprise, that's all, stop it." They were not buying it, they saw you, looking up at him, swallowing when his eyes lingered on yours.
"Just, don't do anything gross while I'm looking, I would probably vomit." Sarah added, now getting close to the oven to get the pizza out.
"I promise you nothing is happening." you said, helping her get the pizzas out.
"We'll see," she smiled, and you settled the pizzas on the counter.
"We'll see." Kiara backed her up. And you, annoyed, rolled your eyes and started drinking again.
"Let's forget about it, can we?"
Kiara nodded, but then added, just for the sake of teasing. "Can you tho?" They were impossible, you thought.
You ate dinner and were so full, so you decided to get changed into your pajamas.
Upstairs, you changed and settled your beds on the floor, with lots of sheets, blankets, and pillows.
Some funny face masks later, and it was already 2 am.
You guys started to get sleepy, so Sarah proposed something. "Quick, swimsuits!"
Kiara got up so quickly. "YES."
You were confused and a bit sleepy. "What?"
"We are going to swim." They got you up quickly and started removing their pajamas, putting on their swimsuits.
"At this hour? Isn't that like... dangerous?"
Sarah giggled, "That's the thing, silly." You were not sure, but you started to change too.
"We are going to be fine, promise, we have done it plenty of times." Sarah nodded at Kiara’s statement.
Outside, it wasn't as hot as in the afternoon, but it wasn't freezing either. You made your way out to the dock, it was pretty quiet at this hour, and also dark. If it weren't for the little string of lights, it would probably be too dark to see.
"Here I go!!" Kiara yelled and was the first to jump into the water. You guys laughed and reminded her to keep it quiet. Then it was you. And finally, Sarah, who screamed the most.
"What was that?" Kiara asked, laughing.
"It sounded like Jason was getting you." You joked, and everyone laughed. But then you got actually scared by your own joke and words. "Shit, this is exactly how horror movies start and what they warn you about. I don't know if this is a good idea anymore." You said that, as your way of swimming got erratic.
Kiara giggled and got close, "If it is like that, then he is underwater, you know? watching closely... let's put on a show."
Kiara gave Sarah a smirk, and she knew what she was talking about. You had no idea.
"Let's do that.... Yeah..." Sarah got closer to the dock as she undid the strips of her swimsuit, leaving her completely naked underwater. Kiara did the same, and you were laughing. Completely shaken out of the scary moment you got yourself into, they were expectant.
"Guess we will give him the best show." you said as you undid your own swimsuit and threw it up to the dock just like them. You kept laughing with them as the conversations went on, JJ and Kiara updates on their relationship, John B, as the best boyfriend ever, or Sarah said so, annoying parents...
You weren't nervous anymore, even though it was the first time you skinny dipped.
"Now... how am I supposed to go outside..." Kiara said. You guys laughed.
"Someone's gonna have to make the sacrifice and get out of the water, naked." Sarah said, as if it were now a challenge.
"NOT IT!" Kiara yelled.
"NOT IT!" Sarah continued, and you moved your head quickly, looking at her as if betrayed.
"That's literally not FAIR..." you said, drowning yourself. Then coming back to the surface. "Fine, I'll do it."
After some deep breaths, you rushed out of the water. It was as if the girls were teenagers, they couldn't stop giggling and cheering at you, actually doing it. You guys clearly still were.
You got their swimsuits and quickly threw them to them.
You started dressing, and just before putting the top on. You heard steps, quickly turned, and he was there.
You screamed and quickly tried to cover your exposed breasts. Rafe just giggled and turned around to the stars, or so it seemed, waiting for you to get the top up. You couldn't believe it, you flashed him. YOU FLASHED RAFE CAMERON, you were wishing for Jason to come and end it all for you.
"WHAT THE HELL, RAFE?" You protested, now fully dressed, getting close to him, as the girls got out of the water, now dressed.
"Were you spying on us? What is wrong with you?" You got closer and closer, but he was laughing? You couldn't believe it. "Answer me!!" you pushed him now,.
"Hey, hey, relax, I was not, I just, I heard screams a while ago, and then I heard complete silence, and you weren't in the house, I was just checking that the girls under my care aren't dead."
You rolled your eyes. That was a ridiculous excuse.
"We aren't kids. Thank you." Sarah said, covering herself with a towel.
You were still staring in disbelief at him.
"Yeah, I can see that." He said with a little smirk, looking you in the eye. You got mad as hell.
"You are an idiot." And without thinking twice, you pushed him hard enough for him to fall off the dock. And quickly went back to the house.
You were embarrassed, mad, and now completely sober. You knew getting drunk after something like this wasn't the best, thinking about the future, but right now it felt necessary.
So you went straight to the kitchen, dripping all the way through the house, and attempted to empty the bottle of vodka, if it wasn't for Kiara.
"Hey, hey, hold it there, girl, you are gonna get sick." She said, removing the bottle. You rolled your eyes.
"I'm fine, I just want to party, let's keep it going." You said, obviously tired and embarrassed by what happened. “Come on, Kie, we are supposed to be up till sunsire." You grabbed a cup, poured some of the funny juice you made earlier, and drank from it, and Kiara just looked.
Sarah then came along. "Oh gosh, he is pissed, but he deserved it. I'm sorry, he is a dick, I'm sorry.... He was totally spying on us, and I'm sorry for making you do that, and him, watching, I'll do whatever to make you feel-" Sarah kept apologizing, but you stopped her mid apology. "
“Let's... Let's forget it, can we? And keep this party? I need to forget, make me forget girls." You said, now hiding your red face between the counter and your hands.
They looked unsure but nodded and started drinking with you.
Another few laughs, and somehow you ended up in Sarah's room.
"Window, window!" Kiara said, then opened the window and went out...
"Shit, Kiara, you are gonna fall." Sarah giggled and dragged herself there.
"No, if I have, if I have you guys to hold me." She went completely out of the window, and you followed them. You peeked your head out and saw Kiara trying to light up a joint. You needed that.
"Oh, so you were hiding the very best till the end, right?" Sarah helped you get out of the room and join them.
Kiara passed the joint, and you guys started smoking and instantly felt that relaxed feeling. You were now totally lying on the ceiling, looking at the stars, Sarah faintly telling a story about a star, and how that story got her to lose her virginity with John B.
We laughed, but for her, it was pretty serious, she still laughed with us.
"Wait. So... The Kook... princess... is no longer... pure?" Kiara said jokingly and mockingly. "You little SLUT!" She teased, and Sarah laughed out loud.
You started fidgeting about the topic, even though you wanted to get it out of your mind. Tonight was the first time a guy ever saw you, as you were brought into the world. Not ANY GUY, but the guy you secretly liked, you were dying, not a single amount of alcohol or weed could make you forget.
You sighed and whined all of a sudden, about to scream, but you controlled yourself. Cutting in the conversation Kie and Sarah were having.
"That was so embarrassing, I mean, I mean you guys teased me about getting nervous of him, about him getting close, about me and him, and then THAT, HAD TO HAPPEN, I had to flash him my tits!"
It sounded ridiculous, maybe it was the weed, but you just started to laugh out loud. Hiding your face in your hands. The girls laughed too.
"Just think about how.... think about..." Kiara was trying to think of something to say. "Just think of how many pairs of tits he has seen, I bet he will forget them too-"
Sarah hit her in the arm. "Don't say that" She rolled her eyes at her.
"Don't listen to her, don't think about that," Sarah added while resting her hand on your arm. "He may be a dick, and look all dangerous and casanova, but here, between us, i'm telling you, he has never gone further then a kiss, and he told me, once, actually, every time he gets wasted, he comes and complains about it with me, here in this place, many times, he has confessed how scared of intimacy he is, how ridiculous he feels for not being able to hold eye contact with a girl, how much disgust he feels when a girl tries more than a makeout session, not for them, for him, for not being able to connect, or commit." That was a BIG ASS confession.
"Just don't, ever say this. He trusted me, and we are not the best friends, but he is still my brother, and I love him." You nodded.
"So I promise you, he was and is, as startled and embarrassed as you, and I'm sure he actually regrets it. When you ran to the house, and he got out of the water, he was pissed, but not at you, at him, for getting in the way and making you uncomfortable. He gave me his apologies, and he actually looked regretful..."
You were shocked, just as Kiara. "Shit, this is the most I've heard of him having feelings." Kiara joined the conversation again, Sarah looked at her and just scoffed.
"He does, and I'm pretty sure he has them for you." She looked at you, but really looked at you, she was definitely telling the truth. Nothing like a child or a drunk person to tell the truth.
After that intimate, deep talk, you guys made your way inside, Sarah and Kiara instantly falling asleep, as they dropped their bodies to the millions of pillows you settled before, you chuckled at them giving up the idea to watch the sunrise, still thinking about what happened, and without a way to get asleep like them, you made your way to the kitchen, still a mess, so you decided to clean a bit.
Trying to make little noise, you were slowly moving in there, thinking, replying moments, not only tonight but every single interaction with Rafe, his eyes, his teasing actions, his smirks, every single one just as electric as the other, oh gosh what were you thinking, falling for Rafe Cameron, but maybe, perhaps, there was more of him than that name and now known fake reputation...
After finishing, you decided to go to the living room to check the aftermath and maybe clean some there too, but then you noticed something different in those cushions.
Him, and the funny juice, you noticed it was completely emptied, you sighed, he was here drinking all this while you were with the girls upstairs, you weren't even mad but worried, something definitely was keeping him awake, just like you before.
You got close and sit not that close but still, just a bit, he was breathing, okay.
He actually, now that you think about it, this is the most peaceful you have seen him, he, he kinda has a smile on him, and looks, cute.
You stared, a bit more than you should, snapped out of it, and started cleaning, trying not to make noise and waking him up. You wanted to give him his peace.
Just the bowl of the juice left to take, you got close, and grabbed, turning around to take it to the kitchen.
But something grabbed your wrist, you jolted and almost screamed, quickly turned, and he was opening his eyes, the light causing his eyes to squint, "Shit, sorry, you scared me..." you confessed, almost in a whisper.
He chuckled a bit, still waking up, keeping his hand on your wrist, was he rubbing it? Maybe you were imagining… You were not.
"I'm sorry." he said, way too serious to be saying sorry for scaring me. You nodded and looked at him with an upside down smile.
"Not only for this, everything, tonight, I promise, I wasn't trying to be a creep, and every other time, I've been a dick, or..."
You completed his phrase, now realizing some tension... "An idiot?" He cracked up and let go of your hand to fix his hair. You sat next to him, as if a major force dragged you.
"Yeah, that, I guess I've been like that too..." He grinned again and then, now that his eyes were completely open, he looked at you, really looked at you, no games, no teasing, you thought you saw him, for the very first time, and it turned your stomach, maybe it was all the things you took before, were making effect and messing with your body, but you saw him differently now.
He saw you staring, but he only smiled, and with one hand, he placed a strand of hair behind your ear. Your cheeks burned now.
"See, I'm not who you think I am." You listened carefully. "Well, or other think I am, I accept, my weird behavior is, weird..."
You realized he still had a little problem forming words, the alcohol still had an effect, or the fact that he woke up, so you chuckled. He did too, and shook his head as if scrambling his ideas.
“I just wanted you to know that... Yeah, I mean, you make me feel like I can be more than what they know or think..." You were in shock. Was he serious? Again, nothing like a child or a drunk person to tell the truth. But he wasn't drunk anymore.
"I just, the very first time I saw you, hanging with Sarah, I thought you were gonna be one of her moddy friends, who think I'm just an annoying clown, and yeah, I may be, but I'm not the whole circus, right?"
You laughed. "Yeah, I don't see you as an equilibrist." referring to you pushing him easily at the dock. He laughed and nodded.
"Yeah, exactly, I'm unstable, and I guess, once I started teasing and you answered differently, my brain had a short circuit, and I realized I don't have to follow the same recipe, or believe the narrative I created in my head about my role in this so called life. As a resume, and I'm sorry for keeping you awake now, you must be exhausted." You shake your head.
"Don't, keep going." One of your hands now rested on his at the couch, it felt natural. He smiled and kept talking.
"Well, I just, you make me want to be me, not the me I created and perform, not the me and monster they think I am, but me, the me of your eyes." You were shocked by this whole confession.
"I want this, us, well, if there's an us, and you feel the same-" You stopped him.
"I do." You nodded, and he couldn't help but grab a cushion and use it to cover his face. You removed it, now closer to him, your eyes connected again.
And then it happened, he kissed you. It wasn't a ferocious kiss. It was not rushed.
But it wasn't slow and shy. It was calm and expectant, passionate, as if every built moment brought this perfect moment to fruition.
He went for more, and you let him, his hand in one side of your face, brushing your cheek with his thumb, and the other caressing the nape of your neck.
Your hands linger on his shoulders and neck, moving up to caress and trace his jaw. His tongue asked for permission, and you accepted, mapping you.
You got a better taste of him, or the juice you drank earlier, and he did too, as if reading your mind he then said, "Good juice..." and you nodded, kissing him again, his breathing getting heavier, his hand that was in your face now falling to your waist, caressing, and his thumb dancing lower in your hip bone, you completely wrapped your arms around his neck and he lowered you on the couch, he pulled out of the kiss to breath, but his eyes looked past you, then he smiled.
"Wait, come with me." He got quickly up off the couch. And you followed without any questioning, but a bit curious, you passed Sarah's room.
He opened the door to his, you hesitated a bit, but he looked for the first time, trustful, so you grabbed his hand and got inside, he opened the window and got out, bringing you with him, then you saw it, the sunrise, almost there.
You smiled and grabbed a seat beside him. "I bet it's gonna be beautiful."
He nodded, "I know she is." He said, looking at you again, the almost gold color of the sun kissing your face, he grabbed your face again and kissed you, it was better than any drink you could've taken to forget or any drug he ever took to make the pain fade away.
Your mouths parted and reconnected, your hands caressing his chest.
He bit your lip, generating a beautiful sound from you. He got crazy, his hand now caressing the curve in your back, kissing your jaw, making you see stars, oh, the sun, you saw it as he kissed your neck, wet traces from his lips, you shiver as the cold breeze of the morning hit the wet spots, you patted on his back.
"The sun- the sunrise..." You smiled and he stopped his ministrations on your neck to appreciate it with you.
His eyes looked so beautiful under this light, his skin bathed in this perfect gold, you couldn't help but bite your lip at the precious sight of him.
A “Thank you.” leaves your lips... He looked back at you, one eye closed for the light of the sun, a bit confused.
“Thank you for letting me see you. The real, you...” He smiled and brought your lips together again, his body getting closer, hovering over yours, one of his legs now between yours, the pressure making your body weak and melt.
You were making soft noises, he was getting addicted to them, so he tried to get there more often out of you, a trace on your uncovered stomach, a slight nibble on your lower lip, his hips rolling into you.
You were about to lose it when you heard a voice completely out of nowhere, and something was thrown at him, a plushie?
“Get a room, for God's sake.” Kie talked on the other side of the roof, Sarah giggling beside her.
You covered your face with your hands, and Rafe laughed. “Since when have you been watching?”
Sarah answered. “Enough to know you should get a room and me to wash my eyes with chlorine.”
You laughed, and Rafe got you up from the position you were in. He got inside first.
You looked at the girls, and they started acting out some backshots..?, Kie making like she was riding Sarah, a cowboy gesture, and Sarah kept bumping into her, acting out suggestive faces. You laughed but still flipped them off.
You grabbed Rafe hand and got inside, you now got time and enough light to look carefully at his room, memories of him, as a kid, a baseball team, him and Sarah, middle school graduation, as well as high school.
You felt his eyes on you and turned around to look at him. "I promised Sarah she wouldn't see anything, or us, doing anything..."
Rafe thought about it and smirked. “So... you've thought about us doing things...” You roll your eyes.
“Don't get so big in your head. She just caught a vibe and asked to never see anything...”
He got closer, his hands resting on your hips, his lips now brushing your neck, close to your ear. “I don't see her in here...”
You prevent yourself from falling by grabbing his shirt. “Guess she isn't...” You faintly said.
“Well then, don't mind if I...” He started to walk you backwards, but you didn't stop him, the back of your knees touching the soft blankets of his bed, a wide bed you thought about before.
He carefully kissed your neck and jaw, tossed you onto the bed, followed by his body, that he didn't entirely positioned over yours, not wanting to crush you. Still, there's a building pressure that is making you crazy, the morning is getting warmer, or it was just the heat of your bodies.
He kept kissing your lips, to your neck and upper chest, his lips working wonders on you, his hands caressing the leg you got up on the bed, feather touches that made you ache for more.
Then he looked at you, looking for an unsure look or something that would make him stop, but all he saw was you, needing more.
“Can I?” He asked, touching the buttons of your pajama top. You nodded, and he smiled, carefully kissing as he unbuttoned. No bra. He was having the time of his life.
As he unbuttoned the last button just below your belly button, his hands removed the rest of the shirt out of his way, and you sat up a bit, helping him get it out of your body.
He then went and devoured your lips once again, they were both probably all swollen by now, his were now colored a pretty pink.
He then slowly cupped one of your breasts, they fit on his hands and that made you weak.
A faded sound, out of you, followed by a groan out of him, this was as far as he had gone, and actually, you too, this was your very first time, everything.
He brought his mouth closer to your breasts and started kissing, biting slightly, a new sensation that had you bolting and digging your nails into his gorgeous, soft hair.
You were drunk on him. He then, as if he were a kitten, started to give flat licks to your nipples.
Making the heat between your legs worse, your moth opened and you tried to control your breathing.
He started to suck on it, and your hands reached to his back, attempting to bring his shirt up and remove it, you had to feel more of him, he helped you removed it and he pressed his chest against yours, it was as warm as the summer sun, making you smile at the sensation, he rolled his hips for more friction, he was as hard as a rock, and you could feel it between your legs, he made his way down your stomach, kissing here and there, till he was kissing your hip bone, teasing the hem of your pajamas shorts, you looked at him, wanting more, needing more, he looked at you asking.
“Please...” was the only thing leaving your lips, he grabbed the hem of your pajama shorts, and slowly brought them down, kissing your legs as they made their way off you along with your panties.
He then grabs your ankles and pulls your legs to the edge of the bed. There, he crouches slightly and folds your legs over his shoulders. The contact being magical, his shoulders so soft you thought, your legs so smooth he did.
Looking up at you, his eyes intense and his pupils so grown, you feel goosebumps trickling over your skin. He waits for any kind of uncertainty from you, but you meet his gaze, your hands reaching out to grab his. He slips his fingers between your hands and holds your hands, braced on your stomach, the touch strong and reassuring.
Rafe gives you one more smile, then he dips his face between your legs. You gasp loudly when you feel his warm tongue and hot breath against your folds, his cheeks teasing your inner thighs, as you instinctively try to close them.
It's when he starts sucking gently on your clit that you throw your head back with a loud moan. Holding you as you twitch, he continues, his mouth exploring every inch of you. You can't help but arch your back, your hands going to his hair. “Oh- Fuck- Rafe...” the sound higher and needier than you intended.
You feel it, building deep in your body, provoked by every lick, every kiss, every nibble and suck, whatever he does, it works.
“You taste amazing...” He stated as you squeezed his pretty blonde hair, the vibration making it better, convulsing on the bed, your legs kicking helplessly, you gasp, freeze, muscles tightening, before it all breaks loose and washes over your like a wave, probably the greatest wave you have surfed in your whole life living in this island, warm and soothing, rolling from the top of your head all the way into your now curling toes. He keeps licking at you gently as your ears thrum and your heart thunders, your whole body trembling.
You are melting in his hold, too blissed out to notice him pushing you up the bed so he can kneel on it as well. He's arranging you with care, he slides his hands up your torso, back to cup your breasts.
His touch giving them enough pressure that you can feel it through the white noise surrounding you, he leans over, his mouth slowly making its way up your body, kissing along your hipbones, tongue licking stripes around your belly button, higher and higher he goes, until he removes his hands and closes his lips around your left nipple, hard and aching from his intense attention.
You sighed, gasped, and moaned as he flicked his tongue around it, teasing his teeth against your soft flesh. He shifts beside you, one hand slipping up to caress your head, pushing a strand of hair out of your sweat slick forehead.
You tried to look at him, meeting his warm gaze through blurry eyes, you smiled nonetheless, watching him switch from your left to your right breast, repeating his ministrations.
Suddenly, you feel a light pressure, a warm grip as he curls his other hand around your sex, fingers pushing insistently between your puffy folds.
A gasping mewl escapes you when he pokes his middle finger against your hole, teasing lightly. You enjoy it, the warmth flowing through you, the many different sensations he creates all over your body are just too much to focus on just one.
Your hips buck almost automatically when he slips his digit deeper, following the natural curve of your channel, pushing in and out lightly, your cunt clenching around him.
Your breath hitches when he curls it just right, passing by that special spot with every pull back, and he seems to watch and enjoy you and your reactions, because he soon removes his finger only to replace it with two.
The stretch is noticeable but welcome, and you moan softly when he pushes deeper, your body shifting to accommodate the intrusion.
He keeps fingering you, quickening his pace, digits bending, exploring your tight warmth with an eagerness that's only mirrored by his hungry mouth devouring your breasts.
He pushes his fingers in and out of your fluttering cunt, and you feel the rest of your body shaking, thighs twitching, toes curling, your hands digging into the sheets and his shoulder.
When you come again, you are crying out louder, a sudden rush crashing through your convulsing body, a burning need, and no means to stop it.
“Oh god, Rafe, Rafe, I-I can't... please-” You moaned, and then you feel it as your orgasm rolls over you with a force you haven't expected, a wetness, bursting out of you, making the squelching sounds of his fingering even louder.
And while you'll still be highly mortified to see the wet sheets and blankets later, in the moment, right now, you don't care. It feels too good to let go like that, you just ride the wave instead of fighting it.
Sweat covers your whole body, you feel light and heavy at the same time, exhausted and thrilled, and yet you keep shaking, and he keeps working on you no matter what.
His hand has left your face, only to hold down your hip as he continues to push his fingers deep into your convulsing cunt, and you feel that wave building up again, the heat so hot inside of you, gathering low, filling you up, until... “Oh Rafe!” you whine breathlessly as yet another orgasm pulses out of you, unable to stop the reactions of your body.
Now he pulls his digits out and instead clamps his mouth to your clenching hole, his tongue eager to lick up whatever wetness you produced. Heat crashes through you, a bit of shame at the thought, that quickly faded away through the longer he sucks on you, licking up and down your slit, his hot exhales sounding just as breathless as yours. You can't believe this, it's like you been asleep all your entire life till this very moment.
A deep sigh escapes your mouth as you throw your head back in exhaustion, staring at the ceiling, trying to ease your breathing, a dumb little grin on your face.
He's crawling over you, his body warm against yours, before he rolls onto his side and pulls you with him, strong arms closing around your shaking form. His wet lips find your forehead.
“My turn.” You said, grabbing the hem of his pants. He smirked and tugged you close for another kiss.
i may write part 2... should i? 😏 let me know if there's any mistakes or i'm missing a tag !!
