While the Dumb Supper has come to be better known today as a ritual used to honor or call upon the dead, its origins are said to lie in a divination rite (brought to the US through immigrants from the British Isles) used to foretell one’s future spouse, and in some rural regions of the United States (particularly within the Appalachian, Southern, and Ozark regions), the use of the term Dumb Supper is still commonly used referring to the divinatory practice.
Of the ritual, Paul B. Frazier wrote this (CONTENT WARNING: depictions of domestic violence, murder within the following quote), relaying what he had heard of it -
"An interesting and, I believe, somewhat uncommon folk-
way is the dumb supper. Perhaps for many centuries young women have tried to use magic in this manner in the effort to see their future husbands. Two instances of its practice have come to my attention: one was in Chaffee, Missouri, and one in Harrison County, Kentucky; the latter is more recent, of about forty years ago. The incident of Chaffee, Missouri, appears to be somewhat older, perhaps of sixty or seventy years ago.
The magic practices are identical. The Harrison County, Kentucky incident, [...], is comic.
In it, two teen-age girls, desirous of seeing their future husbands, went to a furnished, uninhabited house, and prepared a supper backward in every respect. The tables were set as wrongly as possible; the chairs were turned backward; the meal was to be served dessert first, and all things were according to the reverse pattern. Promptly upon the stroke of midnight two rather old, [...] married men, who were neighbors of the girls, knocked on the door and jocularly inquired as to when they were to eat. The girls, laughing, stopped their magic."
The Chaffee, Missouri incident, [...], is tragic and a good folktale. Two teen-age girls who wanted to see their husbands-to-be went to a deserted house at night and began preparing the meal in reverse order. As they did so they observed that the wind blew with ever-increasing violence. Just before midnight the supper had been completed, the table set, and the chairs set backward, as in the preceding story. [...] At exactly twelve o'clock the door burst open, as of its own accord, and a young man entered. He was followed by a coffin, empty.
The door at once slammed shut. The man, who had carried a pocketknife in his hand, dropped it, and without speaking or picking up the knife, sat down by one of the girls who picked up the knife and put it in her apron pocket. The empty coffin moved of its own volition beside the remaining empty chair. This meant that the girl next whom it rested would never marry. A few years later she died single.
The man silently ate and soon left, never speaking; the coffin slid along behind him and followed him out the door. Again, the door slammed shut. Then the wind died. A few years later the girl who had retained the knife met and married the young man who had lost it. Several months after the wedding she was arranging some articles in her trunk and, finding the knife, showed it to her husband. He at once remembered its loss and, saying he had never experienced so miserable a night as those on which he had lost it, he snatched the knife from her hands and plunged it into her throat and then deep into her bosom. She died almost instantly.
Believed to have been brought Stateside by immigrants from the British Isles, the Dumb Supper was practiced in the United States at liminal points in the year, which varied from region-to-region. Some dates alleged to have hosted the ritual include:
New Year's Eve
May Eve / the 01st of May
All Hallow's Eve / Halloween
Samhain
during solstices
during transitionary periods between seasons.
In the area of the South I call home, I grew up hearing Halloween and New Year's Eve were traditional, but I've also heard of it being done on May Eve.
illustration of a successful Dumb Supper rite; circa late 1800s-early 1900s
Victorian newspapers, especially in the American South, outlined the process of conducting a dumb supper, while Edwardian novels made them into thrilling plot points. After all, for many young women (and occasionally men), dumb suppers were party games with a supernatural thrill. But in spookier accounts, dumb suppers could herald spinsterhood and death. If a coffin appeared at midnight, that meant that one of the young women wouldn’t marry at all, and would likely die soon. -Anne Ewbank
Performing the Dumb Supper Divination Ritual
What you'll need:
food
dining ware & cutleries
candles
a quiet location
at least one friend to join you
Who to invite:
The Dumb Supper was typically performed by at least two young women, though men could also attend or host one; and it was common that small groups of four or more would come together to carry out this love test.
Location:
It was once the custom that abandoned buildings or empty barns were the preferred places to carry out this rite, but these days it just isn’t safe to run around hosting ritual dinners in abandoned buildings. The reason such places were preferred was, one might assume, because one needed somewhere quiet and peaceful where there wouldn’t be any disturbances.
That being said, any such place will suffice. You can host this dinner in your home, at an event space, or wherever tickles your fancy, so long as you can ensure a quiet night where no one will come barging in and interrupting your rite.
Timing:
Preparing the Dumb Supper can take anywhere from half an hour to an entire night, depending on the amount of work you’re willing to put into your meal.
The actual moment of foresight is believed to come at the stroke of midnight, so you’ll have to have everything readied beforehand, and you should be seated at the table waiting to receive your vision by midnight.
What to do:
From the moment you start preparing your meal for the Dumb Supper, you must maintain total silence.
You cannot speak, as it’s said that speaking will break the spell and ruin your chances of successfully divining the identity of your future spouse or beloved. The silence is where the name Dumb Supper comes from, ‘dumb’ being an antiquated (and not very nice) term for silent.
Aside from keeping silent, you must also walk backwards from the moment preparation beings – this includes while cooking and preparing the meal, while setting the table, while placing the foods upon the table, and while walking into the room and finding one’s seat.
In some customs, the seats are all placed facing away from the table.
The cutleries are to be placed in the opposite positions than they normally would.
The usual rules are that utensils are laid out in the order in which they’re used, and the diner works their way from the outside in toward the plate; and forks are placed to the left of the plate, with spoons and knives placed to the right. How many utensils used would be determined by how formally you’ve set your table.
For a Dumb Supper, regardless of formality, everything is reversed – forks to the right, knives to the left. If you’re including napkins in your place setting, the napkins would normally go at the end of the forks on the left, but for the Dumb Supper, you’ll place them at the end of the forks on the right. The same goes for drinkware – glasses are normally placed above the knives to the right, but they’ll now be placed to the left as well.
Not only will the table be set in reverse, the meal will also be served in reverse – dessert first, appetizers last!
*Note: the backwards dinner concept is more heavily emphasized stateside, while in Scotland and the North of England, the inclusion of a special cake called ‘Dumb Cakes’ were a main focus of the Dumb Supper.
The meal must be prepared and the table set before midnight. You must be seated at the table before the stroke of midnight.
Some customs call for leaving an open seat next to each participant, in case an apparition of their future beloved comes to sit at the table beside them. Other traditions state that the face of the beloved will appear in the plate of the participant, or in the flames of the candles that burn on the table.
Whichever way they choose appear, this peek into the future is said to come at midnight, but only if everything was prepared correctly, in total silence, and in reverse.
There are some claims that instead of an apparition, the future beloved appeared in the flesh, simply walking through the door at midnight and joining in on the meal.
It is also believed that should the participant be presented with the vision of a coffin instead of a person, then that means they wouldn’t be married. The coffin was also seen, in many beliefs, as a portend of death.
To close out the ritual
One must blow out their candles and leave the room as they came – in silence, walking backwards.
From then on, you may speak, for the spell is broken and the rite is over.
As with any rite, your Dumb Supper can be as simple or as fancy as you would like. For those of you planning to revive this divination custom as part of your New Year's Eve, May's Eve, Halloween, or Samhain observances, may you receive the happiest of results and enjoy the best of fortunes. Happy Divining/Dining!
SOURCES & FURTHER READING:
'Anglo-American Folk Belief and Custom: The Old World's Legacy to the New' - Hand, Wayland D.
'American Regional Folklore: A Sourcebook and Research Guide' - Mood, Terry-Ann
'When Dumb Suppers Were a Halloween Love Ritual' -Ewbank, Anne
Graham’s American Monthly Magazine of Literature, Art, and Fashion; Vol. 35
Midwest Folklore; Summer 1959, Vol. 9 - Issue 2:
'The Dumb Supper' by Frazier, Paul B.
There's just nothing like reading with your oldest deck. This deck was gifted to me by my older sister, and I've been reading with it for over 20 years now. It's still one of my most used decks, and it just hits different — tatters, wax drips, tea stains and all. 🖤
