#patrickbatemans

[zoewashburne]

#back when i didn't even watch spn regularly and you can imagine what i must be feeling right now - UGH, MILKA. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU READ FANFICTION OR ANYTHING BUT ISTG. I CAN'T EVEN READ SPN \PORN\ WITHOUT CRYING. IT'S NOT FUNNY. I'M NOT EXAGGERATING. I READ NC-17 FANFICTION AND AT THE SLIGHTEST MENTION OF HOW S0UL M8S I THINK SAM AND DEAN TO BE, I BREAK DOWN. This show. I hate it.

I KNOW JESS I AM THE SAME I GET TEARY EYED WITHIN SECONDS AND THEN I START CHOKING AND SOBBING AND GASPING AND THEN TEARS START STREAMING DOWN MY FACE AND I CURSE EVERYTHING 'CAUSE FFS I AM TRYING TO READ PR0N BUT NOOOO FEELS HAVE TO MAKE ME WHINE LIKE A LITTLE BITCH AND I HATE THOSE TWO IDIOTS SO MUCH

P.S. LAST OUTPOST OF ALL THAT IS. I REST MY CASE.

P.P.S. You've read it, right? Yeah, you probably have. But. Still. F E E L S.

[cuntstitution-blog]

no jess/mar fanfic for u dick

we could've had it all. we had all that it takes to be in successful, healthy relationship.

passion.

abuse. 

i was even ready TO MARRY YOU.

but you know what?

now get lost. it would be the best for you if you actually decided to perform this:

and fell right. on. emily's. face.

[jaqenthebox-blog]

I LOVE YOU KATE.

I feel like CHarlie from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory after I unwrapped my delicious chocolate and found not only delicious chocolatey goodness but a shiny golden magpie-attracting ticket of wonderfulness ! :D

[errolwiththepost]

patrickbatemans replied to your post: I need to start taking credit for the things I...

OMFG IT WAS YOU SKGREJGLKDJLKGJSKLGJD

THESE THINGS JUST COME TO ME

IT'S A GIFT

and a curse~

[errolwiththepost]

I need to start taking credit for the things I send Jess...

[cuntstitution-blog]

Jess is so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Jess. We were best friends on Tumblr. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started pooing with my first toilet, Kyle, who was totally gorgeous but then his lever stopped working, and Jess was like, weirdly jealous of it. Like, if I would blow her off to go to the bathroom, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-toilets poop party, I was like, "Jess, I can't invite you, because I think you're not a toilet." I mean I couldn't have a not-toilet at my party. There were gonna be toilets there in their *seat covers*. I mean, right? She was NOT A TOILET. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped the kids off at the pool because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's a bidet.

LMFAO JESS LOOK AT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SUBMITTING INTO MY ASKBOX. THANK YOU TARA FOR ONLY PROVING WHAT A WHOREMONGER JESS IS. GOD BLESS YOU AND THY CHILDREN.

WE WILL NEVER GET BACK TOGETHER. N E V E R

[planovivencial]

PAOLA YOU GIVE ME THE WARM FUZZLIES IN MY SOTMACH

I'M SORRY MY DICK IS SO LONG

[sehuned-blog]

jessus