#pauldarry

[darrys-laundry]

will you come to my cottage this summer?

[aforeffective]

i actually think dan and brent (and brie) are trying to kill us

like in not even 2 weeks, we had the madras shirt tiktok on the main musical account, then the cuddling/hug pic, then the lap picture, NOW THIS

[girlishwhimsies]

we moved on from this too quickly i think

[asexual-juliet]

japanese american paul holden lore that beamed itself into in my brain as soon as ryo made his debut

his mom: Kimi Takahashi, born in 1921, grew up on a farm in Fresno. 

his dad: Frank Horikawa, born in 1919, grew up in LA and graduated college around six months before america entered world war ii

both Kimi and Frank are the children of Japanese immigrants (part of the Nisei generation)

Frank grows up as this all-American city boy and doesn’t speak much Japanese while Kimi is a little more connected to her roots. 

they meet in 1942 after Executive Order 9066 is issued and they are forcibly relocated to the Japanese American incarceration camp in Rohwer, Arkansas

they get married in camp in early 1945 (a few months before the camps start to close down)

Frank americanizes their last name to “Holden” shortly after leaving Rohwer and Kimi starts going by “Kim” at his request

Paul is born in 1947 shortly after his parents resettle in Tulsa

Kim wanted to give paul a japanese first name (i am leaning toward Isamu) but his dad refused

Frank is very much trying to distance himself and his family from their heritage in an attempt to fit in and provide his wife and child the best life he can

Kimi was closer to her heritage growing up and has a more positive relationship with her ethnicity but reluctantly follows her husband’s example because it’s the 40s/50s/60s and she is playing the role of the devoted housewife

(this is a story about generational trauma!!)

but like. Paul is very much the all-american boy. he is a star football player and he gets good grades and his dad’s a self-made businessman and his mom’s the perfect housewife and yet he feels so different from his peers in a way he’s never quite felt able to acknowledge

in 1960 there were 749 Japanese families in the entire state of oklahoma and “the number of Asian residents [in oklahoma] did not increase dramatically until the 1970s,” so Paul is this all-american boy who grows up very isolated from people who look like him, and growing up, the very few other asian people who he is aware of (notably Two-bit’s family) are on the other side of the class divide

but like, he is very much a Soc and is definitely accepted in that group of almost entirely white kids (myth of the model minority and everything) but there is still this otherness about him that makes him feel very isolated

and i think he does find himself kind of jealous of someone like Two-bit who doesn’t seem to be trying to blend in and who is fine with existing as he is. but Paul’s dad is very much using assimilation into american society to deal with the trauma of the wwii era and paul is raised on that principle

i don’t really want to play into the stereotype of the strict Asian parent, but i do think that Paul’s dad sets these very high expectations for him as a defense mechanism/an attempt to force his family into the status of the “model minority.” As a successful and wealthy Japanese American businessman in 1960s Oklahoma, he has to be twice as perfect to be taken as seriously as a white man, and he wants his son to be successful, too, so he drills that message into Paul’s head from a pretty early age.

and i think that probably fucks Paul up a little. for years he doesn’t really get why his dad’s expectations are so high and he feels like he’s never going to be good enough and he is a teenage boy in the 60s so he doesn’t know how to like. express an emotion and his feelings of inadequacy come out as resentment and anger that is often directed towards his dad

Paul grows up not knowing about the incarceration and how/where his parents met but his mom very casually mentions something about it when he’s around 15-16 and he’s like ??? and so she explains some stuff to him and he is understandably shocked and above all pretty pissed at his dad for keeping this huge thing from him for so long

so that night he and Darry get drunk together and he starts off just being like “FUCK my dad fr” but then he kind of like actually talks about his relationship with his race and his heritage for the first time

(i wrote a fic about this you can read it here!)

his dynamic with Darry is like. they are both jealous of each other in this very abstract way because neither one of them feels like they belong anywhere but there is also something extremely homoerotic about it. they kind of allow themselves to be more soft and open with each other and it’s clear they have a bond that none of the other Soc boys share

I think after Paul finds out about his parents’ past (and after he sleeps off the ensuing hangover) he goes snooping and finds a box of old photos and stuff from their time in Arkansas and there’s this photograph from their wedding and they are clearly in this like kind of rundown recreation center/high school gym-type space and their clothes are nothing fancy but they look more in love than he’s ever seen them and it’s this really surreal experience that makes him feel a little sick so he puts the box back and pretends he never saw it

when he and Darry stop being friends he loses the only person he’s ever been able to talk to about the things that matter and he becomes pretty closed off emotionally and doesn’t really allow himself to feel anything real and tries twice as hard to assimilate 

Joining the other Soc boys in jumping greasers and wreaking general havoc is kind of a coping mechanism for the debilitating anger that he is constantly feeling but it’s also an unsuccessful attempt to fit in with these all-American boys

He tries so so hard to fit in and never really feels like he belongs, especially after he and Darry stop being friends

idk there is just something so purposeful about the choice to have a Japanese American actor portray this character and i think there’s so fucking much to explore within that choice <3

[aforeffective]

"darrel curtis! baby! let's kiss on camera!"

"are you hurting? wait let me sit on your lap like this"

"kiss my head, kiss my head!"

"are you excited for the show, hon?" "yeah. are you excited to punch me?"

"guess how naturally this happened. it took 4 seconds"

i hate them actually

[girlishwhimsies]

darry and paul or whatever

[girlishwhimsies]

“it’s just a girl humming to a fan”

no it’s not. it’s darry staring at his ceiling in his parents bed, wondering what his life could have been like. imagining paul next to him in a better world where they were in love still and went to school together. he is imagining his parents in the bed instead, his mom kissing his forehead again and telling him that she is gonna love him no matter what and he believes her with every ounce of his being. it’s his father bringing him to work, showing him off to the other workers and bragging about the fact his son doesn’t have to follow in his footsteps. he misses his parents and he misses paul and he misses the old version of himself as the fan whirs above him

[aforeffective]

we thought the hug picture was crazy and they said “wanna see something even crazier?” *dan sitting on brent’s lap*