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Apr 17

Pavlove: Chapter 8/9

My favourite forgotten child is final updated. Read it here or on Ao3 Summary: Alex and Valentino finally talk... Kinda...

The next morning, Alex wakes up to a wet pillow and an empty bed. He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he must have cried himself out and passed out. He rolls over, looking for a hint of Franky, but the bed is cold. A cruel, cold part of Alex that ate at his ribs and got to his heart told him Franky had left, maybe Valentino had spooked him into leaving in a do as I say, not as I do thing. Only he was allowed to be a nine-time world champion, a modern God. Only he could have a Marquez, controlling those wild beasts he made them out to be to the rest of the grid. Of course, only Marc could get that love; it was always Marc, never Alex.

Thankfully, when he rolls over to the other side of the bed, reaching for his phone and turning it on, he finds a one-hour-old text from Franky “Marc wanted me to come with him to get stuff for breakfast. He was persistent. I’m sorry that you're waking up alone. I hope you feel better. Let me know if you want me to grab anything” Then there's a gap of twenty minutes, like he was thinking it over. Alex knows why, since the next text he sends is “I know the history. I do, but he’s a good man. People change, Alex. Think of us in Moto2. I bet that Alex would have never wanted to date me. Just give him a chance. Please. If not for Marc, then me?”

Alex hearts the first text and ignores the second.

Part of him wants to hide and rot in his room until Franky comes back. He thinks about his next steps for a bit, fleeing the home felt like the best idea, but even as he tries to open his phone, hoping to find a place to stay for the next few days, one thought keeps ringing in his head. What if he hurts him again? Alex couldn’t forgive himself if something happened to Marc and he wasn’t there to fix it. Especially when Marc had been under Valentino’s thumb for 3 years, who knows the damage he had done in that time.

Alex hadn’t been there then. But he could be there now. He stands his ground (it is his house after all), and he walks down to the kitchen; only one set of footsteps echoes in the hallway this morning. Shira and Stich had made their opinion known; under the same spell as Marc, they slept in his room last night, likely cuddled up with Valentino.

Leaving Alex to stumble into the kitchen ready for his morning fight with the coffee machine. Alone he moves slowly, almost painfully aware that he was trying to maintain his normal routine despite everything.

That means pulling out one of the several blue mugs he had gathered over the years and going over to the coffee machine, the overwhelming buttons and settings looking back at him. Some days, he would look at them. Other days, he’d been looking at the coffee machine and all the buttons and dared to press one. He really wasn’t sure what the buttons or the several settings did, nor was he really sure how to get his coffee right. More often than not, the buttons he pressed just led to worse-tasting coffee and one confusing time, a tea.

So today, not feeling as daring, he goes with his normal tried and true method of hitting it several times over, hoping that the machine will roar to life. Yet today it felt tainted, something about it not actually being an impulse purchase from Marc, a representation of how far he came after the injury, or at least that is what he had told Roser, when she asked about it, why replace the same simple machine that was so easy to use with something so needlessly complex, laughing he said he brought it while still running off the high of his first win with Gresini. She believed it. Marc never lied to them about anything other than his health. Marc would argue he didn’t even lie about that; he just withheld information; now that Alex thinks about it, he probably justifies this thing with Valentino in the same way. Now thinking about it, Alex can't remember the last time Marc explicitly said the phrase, I’m single, it’s not a lie by definition but Alex still feels lied to.

In hindsight, maybe he was hitting the coffee machine a bit harder than normal. He doesn’t really care. At first, it feels good, nice even. Like on the machine he could be upset at this, a secret offering to Valentino that Alex had used for a year, none the wiser. He could never unload this rage on Marc, not really. The little runaway act he pulled last night left him with more guilt than anything else. Valentino was an impossible unknown. If Alex got upset with him, would Valentino take that out on Marc? Valentino did have a track record of doing that. Jorge Lorenzo had been the best rider in 2015 but somehow that had been Marc’s fault. The same logic could still be used.

Franky said he had changed, but it was Franky and Valentino; he wouldn’t be truly critical of the man, no matter how much he loved Alex. It is the same reason why Marc picked Valentino again. He loved Alex, but at the end of the day, it was Valentino Rossi. And what was Alex mere mortal in the face of legend?

There is a set of footsteps followed by two sets of paws echoing down the stairs and through the hall. Alex doesn’t hear it. He was still banging on the coffee machine. He didn’t even really feel like coffee at this point; it just felt nice being allowed to hit something. Stupidly, something shifts in the way he starts hitting the machine; maybe he gets lost in his angst. His hand slips or his aim changes. It doesn’t matter that he hits his cup instead of the coffee machine. The cup goes flying, and little blue pieces of ceramics smash onto the ground.

That smash snaps him out of his self-loathing, causing him to stare straight down at the broken glass. Then a “Alex, are you okay?” That causes his head to snap to the doorway. And there, Valentino is already reaching out to the treats Alex keeps on the countertop to feed the dogs while cooking and is throwing them out to the dogs so they don’t step on the porcelain. He cares about them. Alex blinks. With the dogs kept busy with too many treats, he switches to fussing over Alex like he actually cares.

“Alex, did you hear me? Are you okay? What happened?” All Alex can do is helplessly nod, adding a pathetic “I don’t know.” Valentino just sighs as he tells him, “Go sit on the island and mind the porcelain. I would hate for your season to be derailed by an infection because you got porcelain stuck in your foot.” Alex doesn't know what else to do but listen; the whole thing was simply unbelievable. Valentino was worried about him until he added, “Lord knows that would make Marc upset. He’s been having a great time racing with you this year.” Alex never mattered; he was a side character at best.

For a while, they don’t say anything to each other. Valentino is just picking up the biggest pieces of the mug; his own feet are only guarded by red socks with a 93 on them because, as it turns out, both Marc and Valentino are the least subtle people known to man. Alex guesses that he should be thankful that Valentino is at least fully dressed. The clothes all fit him, definitely not stolen from Marc.

It doesn’t help Alex feel better.

He wonders if he packed them just for this trip, kept in some bright yellow suitcase that is painfully on brand and probably has a 46 splashed on it in whatever terrible font Valentino had fallen in love with that week or worse after a year of visits did Valentino have space carved out in Marc’s wardrobe? Had just like with the dogs, Valentino had once again been hiding right under his nose this whole time. Sometimes he’d lie on Marc’s bed and go over data or races; the closet door was always shut. Had Valentino terrible shirts that just scream I AM HAVING A MID LIFE CRISIS in shades of yellow to bright yellow to piss yellow, been hiding behind that door?

All while Alex had been fretting about making space for Franky, but each time he thought about it or the few times he started making said space, he chickened out. It felt final. He was giving himself a deadline of letting Franky meet his family to fully allow him to see the good and the bad, leaving him with the hope that Franky wouldn’t run away.

There’s a silence between them. Valentino is clearly trying not to flinch at how uncomfortable it is. For a man who could never shut up in interviews about how all Marquezs were devil spawn, he was doing a pretty good job at keeping his mouth shut for now. He just focused on cleaning up, meanwhile, Alex is attempting to make this the single most uncomfortable experience known to man. Starting at Alex like an eagle watching his prey with a near-unblinking nature, every so often, he lets out a sigh to show his displeasure that Valentino is present, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is here. He finds the vacuum without even asking for directions, not before throwing the dogs yet another round of treats to keep them away, just as he finishes up.

The vacuum roars to life as Alex’s discontent only continues to grow. The hum mixed with the smaller bits of the mug being pulled inside the vacuum acted as a soundtrack for Alex’s rage. Three years. Marc had willingly both taken Valentino back and, from the sounds of things, gone back to the snake den that was Valentino’s home for three years.

All without telling anyone.

Alex hates to get hung up on the what if, but in all fairness, near the start of this chaos especially, during 2016, Alex feared night after night that Marc wouldn’t come home, that either his own brain or one of Valentino’s other groupies got to him leaving Alex to contend with the fact he would become older than his older brother.

Of course, that never happened.

At some point, most people moved on, most people, but not Alex. It’s different when the threats are aimed at your family, and you're forced to watch it tear your family apart as people, strangers, keep trying to bang down the door of your family home, hoping to find the next bit of the story or your head on a stick. Whatever was easier. Yes, some may say you learn how to deal with it, but at the end of the day. Alex has a long memory.

So caught up in this memory. Alex hasn’t noticed that the vacuum has been switched off or that the dogs have been welcomed back into the room. The mug and all its broken bits have been thrown out, and worst of all, Valentino has gotten the coffee machine working.

Alex is only brought back to the kitchen, and it's a terrible scene, but Valentino slides a full coffee mug, another baby blue one, over to Alex. He doesn’t know who he was trying to impress; Marc wasn’t here, so there was no point in him being nice to him. Yet here he was making Alex coffee before he made his own, picking out one of the red mugs.

For a while, neither of them says anything. The coffee machine works quickly for Valentino with one press of a button, and after about a minute's wait Valentino has his coffee in a way that has never worked out for Alex. Things just come easy for Valentino.

Speaking of which, Valentino was preparing for another one of his great performances as he took a long sip of his coffee, which was likely still far too hot for it to be enjoyable, making a point to look at Alex swallowing slowly and carefully. Before he puts down his mug and carefully, like he had been thinking about it all night, says with a sigh, “I couldn’t understand why he wanted this again, why he wanted me.”

Alex glares at Valentino and then his coffee as if they both offended him. “Sure.” The sarcasm is all he can offer. He very much so didn’t have the want or brain power to deal with whatever mind games Valentino was playing today. “No, I'm serious.” Valentino crosses his arms and oh god they were actually having this conversation “I was surprised when he reached out even just as a friend even with the retirement announcement, I wasn’t expecting him to want to continue that conversation after the basic I’ll miss you, Jorge sent me one of those text not because he actually gave a shit but because he thought it was the right thing to do. I thought Marc was the same.” There’s a hint of amazement in his voice, it’s the same way he talked about Marc and his riding at the very start of his career. “That was my mistake, I did the greatest sin when it comes to your brother, and I underestimated him. He keeps reaching out over and over again. Even after he couldn’t come to my last race, he still sent flowers to my hotel. He never gave up on this, trying again even when I thought I didn’t deserve this or him” He’s gesturing at the house, Alex and Marc’s home, the home Alex picked out, like he deserved to be there. It made Alex sick that he was going to the effort of trying to sell Alex on this dream that he actually cared about Marc as anything other than some sick game. “I didn’t think it was possible for him to love me again. Yet somehow he still does. He saw the ugly parts, and he stayed… I’m not used to people doing that.”

The fake way his voice cracks at the end of his little speech is what finally gets Alex to snap, “You were his world, he was willing to still be your boyfriend even after the press conference and you blowing him off in Australia. He was willing to see the best in you, and you still threw it all away with one move” There’s a vague look of guilt over Valentino's face, “I know.” Nothing more, nothing less. Not a defence, not even an apology. Alex just sees red. He spits, “That’s all you have to say, god, you’rea fucking coward.”

Just to prove Alex’s point Valentino looks down to the ground when he mumbles “I know, I got scared of how much I loved him, when it came to him I hesitated on track even if it was just for a moment and it kept happening I couldn’t control it or stop it.” Alex and Franky had moments on track when they happened to clash and while most of them happened when Alex was still trying to hide his little crush from everyone but even when they started dating they both made sure to not let things on track affect their relationship. “You loved him, so you fed him to the wolves?” Alex doesn’t know how Marc is back under Valentino’s spell when his excuses are this weak “That’s your fucking excuse for all this?”

Valentino’s piercing blue eyes have switched back from looking at the floor to looking at Alex. He does his best not to flinch, but even in retirement, Valentino never lost that thunder behind his eyes “It’s not that simple, what happened between me and your brother it isn’t that straight for-”

In his experience, everyone thought this. Each blood-sucking journalist wanted to find the real reason for the fallout. The situation as it was presented was too simple for likelihood. The facts didn’t make for a good story. Random old man loses his mind at a twenty-two-year-old, wasn’t a good headline, especially if one was trying to make Valentino look like the victim. Somehow, Marc surely must have done something awful to earn this rage. Of course, they never found anything, but of course that didn’t matter to the press, who just wanted to be the first to break the story, no matter how reliable the ‘facts’ were.

Valentino just always knew how to best get under anyone's skin, especially Alex “He was twenty-two! You were his hero, and more importantly, his boyfriend! And you were stringing him along with a promise of an engagement. For fuck sake! He was ready to move to Italy for you, even when the idea made our Mama cry, but that still wasn’t enough for you. No, you fed him to the wolves to save your own ass, just to hide the fact you were a pathetic old man who couldn’t accept that you couldn't keep up anymore.” Once Alex starts, he just can’t find a way to stop “And now you're even older, and you're retired, and people are forgetting about you, so you find your way back to Marc just to feel that rush one more time. What did Sete tell you to fuck off? Did Casey block your number before that little Ranch stunt? Or was Marc in unthinkable pain, thinking his career was over, high on so many painkillers on the highest possible dose we could get, and you saw all that and went yeah, he's clearly in his right mind for us to get back together.” That gets Valentino to flinch. It brings a smile to Alex’s face.

But just like a cockroach, Valentino just doesn’t stop, even after a killing blow “Marc’s your best friend right?” Alex raises an eyebrow “What?” Valentino doesn’t react, he just repeats himself, “Marc, he’s your best friend, right?” Without hesitation, Alex nods.

“So Marc, your best friend, comes to you and says he has proof that Franky has betrayed you, and while he’s not sure, he’s heard rumours that Franky is flirting, hell, maybe even sleeping with someone else. You would believe him, right?” His knee-jerk reaction is “We are nothing like you and Salucci.”

“Let's see you're stupidly close, tell each other almost everything, you protect each other from the hell hounds of the press and life in general and in a world full of sharks, your whole career, he's been the only person you can trust. But sure, you and Marc are nothing like me and Uccio. But humour an old man, so come on. What's your answer? I won't hold it against you or tell Franky.” He even has the audacity to smile. Alex feels sick to his stomach. There's a reason Valentino was remembered for his mind games; he really was second to none.

For a moment, he doesn’t do anything. He can’t even bring himself to say anything. It all feels too hard, but under Valentino's unforgiving gaze, he cracks, sputtering out, “I’d, I would believe Marc.” But then he comes back to himself, remembering who he's talking to and just why his words can’t be trusted, he’s not Marc, he can’t be that weak “But I’d sure as shit talk to Franky alone before running to the press.”

Valentino looks down, almost looking ashamed. Alex could almost buy it, but Valentino adds, “It was my last chance. I couldn’t just waste my last chance. I had to control everything I could, and while I loved, love your brother.” It was a Freudian slip; if Alex has ever heard one, the gilt in Valentino’s eyes surely meant nothing as he continued, “Well, we know your brother, he won't be controlled and that’s what I loved about him, but at the time I needed that control, and I knew Marc wouldn’t let me have that. So that is how we ended up here.”

Worst of all, he adds a shrug like the past ten years of Alex’s life, the way his career had been forever changed through no fault of his own, and Valentino thought it was only worth a shrug. But before Alex can totally blow up and lose his mind and maybe throw the boiling hot coffee at him, and melt off what was left of his hair.

Shira starts crying at Valentino’s feet. He can’t see behind the island, but he can assume, knowing his favourite little old lady well, she was running her nose into the top of his feet and his ankles looking for something. Valentino looks down and already looks more relaxed as he coos and in a tone one only uses when talking to a child, says “Oh, hello Shira, I know Marc was very rude to you last night, hogging me when all you wanted was cuddles from me. Very rude of him” It’s a whole world that Alex never got to see. Habits he didn’t know about. Did Valentino help Marc with his arm? Did Valentino worry in the same way Alex and the rest of their family did? How often was Shira cuddling up to Valentino that she would view it as her right? How often has Valentino been here and left just hours before Alex got home?

Valentino puts his coffee down and picks up Shira, carrying her in his arms, almost holding her like a baby. It’s the same way Marc holds her. Marc was the one to teach him how to interact with the dogs after all. Alex couldn’t deny that anymore He hand-fed Shira her treats from the safety of his arms. At least Alex was able to solve the mystery of why the vet kept calling the dogs fat, another thing he could add to the long list of things he could blame on Valentino.

He’s thinking about it. He didn’t actually mean to say it, but the thought is coming out of his mouth before he can stop it “Why are you so nice and caring to them? They're my dogs, not Marc’s.” In short, Alex wasn’t going to let Valentino take them from him, too.

Valentino pauses for a moment as if thinking over his answer before he rather plainly says, “They’re the only ones I didn’t completely fuck up with the first time. I wanted someone in his family to like me.” And god that was just a disgustingly human. That need to be liked, to be loved, maybe it’s what got them in this mess to begin with.

Alex can’t find anything to say to that. So he says quietly, he takes a sip of his coffee. It's fine. Just how he likes it. That's more annoying than anything.

It’s quiet like that for a while, Valentino with Shira mumbling something to her, then the front door opens, and Marc's booming laugh already starts echoing through the house. Alex is glad to hear Franky's quieter, gentler laugh echoing behind. He feels his shoulders drop, being able to relax at the fact that Franky hasn’t left him yet.

They come into the kitchen soon after. Franky seems more comfortable already. After he puts the food he was carrying down on the table he slots his head onto Alex’s shoulder he quickly kisses his cheek “Hey,” It gets a smile out of Alex and a squeaked out “Hi” Leave it to Franky to turn him into a blushing bride.

The only thing that ruins his mood is the fact from the coroner of his eye he can see Marc doing his normal routine when it comes to Shira planting the dog with kisses and just letting her lick his face but then he sees the way Valentino looks at Marc, for his own bit of attention, he puckers his lips and once Marc puts Shira down he moves to kiss Valentino (If Valentino starts licking Marc’s face like Shira does Alex might just throw up)

He tries to ignore it and turns his attention to Franky, and he says the first thing that comes to mind, “Everything okay?” Franky nods and wraps his arm around him from behind “Yeah, it was nice. Me and Marc went on a drive; he took me to that market you always talk about. I would love to go back with you. You can give me the actual tour.” He adds with a whisper. It helps to calm the pit growing in his stomach.

“Yeah, that would be nice.” That’s all Alex can muster with a mumble. Marc is moving through the kitchen, likely wanting to get started on breakfast. Valentino has put Shira down and is now sitting on one of the countertops, letting his legs dangle almost like he was a part of the furniture, as if he belongs here.

He turns back, looking at Franky. He still looks nervous in the space; the dogs crowd Valentino. They are still not willing to go to Franky. It’s not fair that's all Alex can think, even with Franky squeezing him tightly, trying to start their own conversation, away from the Marc and Valentino of it all. It’s not fair. It’s never been fair

Like always, Marc and his booming voice cut through the noise “I think Mama and Papa will really like Franky.” Alex hums, finally allowing himself to lean back into Franky’s chest tucking himself under his chin. It feels safe “Yeah, me too.”

“So maybe after Japan?” After the championship, is only implied, “What?” He has no clue what Marc could be talking about “After Japan, maybe we could ya know, have dinner with them, let Mama and Papa meet them? Together? I think that will help with some of the upset.”

Both Franky and Valentino are quiet, letting the moment be just between the two brothers, even Stich and Shira seem to feel the tension in the room and are quiet, not even begging for food despite the fact that Marc has bacon sizzling on the stove.

“Upset? Why would they be upset with me?” He doesn't mean to but he’s pushed his way out of Franky’s hold, leaning close to Marc “Well, come on, it’s like you’ve been forthcoming with your relationship either.”

In that moment, you could hear a pin drop through the house.

At that moment, Alex sees red “I haven’t been forthcoming because I was worried about you! I thought oh you know what Marc might be a bit uncomfortable about the fact I’m dating one of Valentino’s students, since I still thought you were terribly depressed about him, ya know cause he ruined your life, maybe I should just give him time to get used to the idea before I bring him home or let him meet our parents. I put my relationship on hold for you because of some insane dickhead, whose fans still send us death threats by the way. But that was all pointless, wasn’t it? Because you’ve been in bed with him for years. Right under everyone's noses. Because fuck us. Because between him and us, you would always pick him. Right? No matter how much his actions and his little fans made me and Papa fear for your safety or made Mama cry with worry for both of us, you would still pick him off some pathetic fucking apology he probably doesn’t mean.” Valentino almost looks wounded. Alex doesn’t care enough to even try to believe him.

Alex can hear his heart pounding in his chest, and Marc is just looking at him with this odd fixation, like he’s almost confused why Alex would still be upset about this. “It’s not that simple” Marc starts again. Alex can’t take it.

“Him or us, Marc. It’s a simple question.” Franky has gone terribly still behind him. Maybe the heart beat he’s hearing is Franky’s. A part of him wants to grasp at him, but the part of him that was born from the ashes of 2015 is firmly in the driver's seat.

Marc looks to Valentino, then back to Alex. He’s taking the time to switch off the stove “Why do I have to pick?” His voice is shaking. It’s too late for Alex to turn back now; he knows he’s poking at an open wound, but Marc was the one to rip open the stitches. “It should be an easy question.” Right? It should be easy. Marc would pick him. Alex has given up so much for him without question, without hesitation. Marc should be able to answer a hypothetical.

The silence is back.

Valentino jumps down from the countertop, shifting closer to Marc like Alex was blind. Maybe he was.

“I love all of you so dearly.” He’s reaching for Valentino, and Alex just can’t stomach it “So you pick him? He goes on a podcast to shit-talk you, that's fine. He’s made Mama cry; that's fine. And he made me lose my Yamaha seat, that's fine. He said I’m sorry to you. So everything is fine now. Everyone else needs to catch up. Because I’m oh so sure he actually means it this time. He’s a snake in the grass waiting to bite again.” Marc makes the sound of a wounded animal. He grips onto Valentino’s hand. It’s Valentino, it’s always been, Valentino. Alex doesn’t know why he even thought Marc would pick kind, sweet Dani over someone like Valentino. Clearly, Alex was the problem.

He keeps going, “It's going to happen again. Might not be today, might not be tomorrow, might be ten years from now, but at some point once again, he’s going to have to pick between you and his legacy. And just like he did ten years ago, he’ll pick his legacy every time without fail .” Marc lets out something that sounds like a sob. Alex just zeros in on Valentino and just keeps going “because that’s all he is, a false god that you still worship, that they all still worship for-”

Marc is crying, Valentino is glaring at him, and even Stich is barking at him to get him to stop, but the thing that actually gets him to stop is Franky saying, “Alex, I’m in the academy, I ride for his team, would you say I’m just brainwashed to?” Leave it to him to be logical in the middle of this mess.

He finally turns back to Franky, those kind, caring brown eyes looking back at him. Alex doesn’t want to look at him; he feels sick. “It’s not the same thing.” Franky sighs, even tries reaching for Alex as he asks, “What is?”

And like most things regarding Valentino, Alex just can’t find the answer, the words dance on the tip of his tongue, but he can’t force them out, the only thing that Alex can say is “Why doesn't everyone always take his side! Why doesn’t anyone want to pick me!” He sees the way Franky’s face falls when Alex yells, and that’s the thing that breaks Alex, that the thing that makes him feel like total shit in all this. Not in the way Marc sobs, but how the light dims in Franky’s eyes.

He flees, he doesn’t mean to do it, but he flees again; it's all just too much. This time, he doesn’t run outside, but this time he runs upstairs, into his room and crawls under the covers, hoping to hide from the rest of the world. Unfortunately, that doesn’t last.

He hears the padding down the hall, it’s not Marc, the footsteps are more focused than that, and they stop by the door frame. Marc would have just charged straight in. But this person waits and quietly knocks at the door. When Alex can’t muster an answer, the person asks in a kind sweet soft voice. “Lex, it’s me. Can I come in?” The ringing in his ear has somewhat stopped. He can hear Franky’s breath and the worry in his voice. It breaks Alex’s heart more than anything. He just hums, and he hears Franky take that as an invitation inside. He feels the way Franky sits next to the lump of sheets he’s hiding under. He can feel the way Franky is petting him as Alex takes shaky breaths, trying to calm him down.

Franky gently starts cooing, “You're not losing me, you're not pushing me away. So please just come out, I wanna see your face.” Alex sniffles and sticks his head out of his cocoon of blankets. Franky moves his hand to Alex’s cheek, wiping away some of Alex’s tears. His hair is a mess, and his eyes are blood shot red and Franky still thinks he is beautiful. “Hey,” Alex lets out a small “Hi,”

Franky keeps his cheek in his hand as he asks, “I want to meet your parents you know, even if it is with Vale, it would mean a lot.” Alex looks to the ground, not wanting to make eye contact as he says “It should just be about us. I hate that their tagging along with this, can’t you see? They're using us as a shield. I know Mama and Papa will love you. I want you to meet them, I do, I don’t want them to taint this moment.”

Franky’s lip turns into a thin line as he hums “It’s not just about us, is it?” For a while, Alex doesn’t say anything. He just looks far away, eyes unfocused. He blinks a couple of times before he finally says in a hushed whisper “He’s doing what he always does. He’s ruining everything.”

“Are you talking about Marc or are you talking about Vale?” The question is a landmine if Alex has ever seen one. If this was the press Alex would freeze up maybe lash out or maybe run away but this was Franky, kind sweet Franky who loves him despite everything and the history that dances around them so he does the only thing he can muster a half truth “In your text before you said we wouldn’t have dated in Moto2, that I wouldn’t want to date you. That’s not true.” Franky raises an eyebrow “What are you talking about?”

Alex lets out a half-hearted laugh, he can’t believe that he’s going to say this out loud “I had the biggest crush on you.” The smile that grows on Franky’s face makes it all worth it, so he continues, “You were funny and kind, and everyone seemed to love you more than anything, and at first I thought I was just jealous that the team seemed to love you when I couldn’t click with them. But then I realised that I thought you were like the hottest person I had ever seen.” That gets a laugh out of Franky and a deep red blush to spread across Alex’s face.

He pushes through, “But I couldn’t tell anyone. You were so close to Rossi, and Marc was still destroyed by everything. I couldn’t even tell my parents, they were already so worried about us being teammates as is with everything going on. I had no one.” And for the first time in all his life, he finally says out loud “And I’d blamed both of them for that, for everything, the fact I was so alone in the paddock, the fact I couldn’t talk to you without worrying what well everyone would say. It felt like it was both their faults, and I don’t think I could ever forgive them. I don’t know how.”

Without warning, Franky is tackling him into a hug. It’s the tightest type of a bear hug, the ones he thought that only Marc could muster. And Alex totally melts into it. Especially when he says, “For the record, I love you now and I loved you then too, we're both just idiots.”

Franky laughs, but Alex can't; all he can give is a squeaked out “You loved me? Even back then.” Franky nods, “Even when you tried to make yourself seem small, I always found you in every room.”

They stay like that for a while. Just hugging just the two of them before Franky says, “You're allowed to be upset, and I know you and Vale wont be friends and trust me you're allowed to be upset at both of them.” Alex loudly sniffles, knowing what's coming next “But let’s give it a chance? I think Vale has a plan” Alex snorts Yeah, because Valentino’s plans when it came to the Marquez's always worked out well. He doesn’t say that as Franky continues, “Yeah, yeah, I know, but he wants you both to come to the ranch, a chance to start anew?” Alex huffs a firm no way is on the tip of his tongue, Franky pets his hair, and he tries a new take, “I want you to come to the Ranch. It’s my favourite place on earth, and I want my favourite person there. So, if not for Marc or Vale, could you do it for me?”

Alex sighs. Franky had been so understanding of Alex’s timeline for things. How slow they needed to take things, and now, as he thinks it over, this is the first time Franky has ever outright asked for anything. He couldn’t deny him that. Not after everything “Okay but I’m doing this for you, and just for you. No one else.” The smile that spreads over Franky’s face shines, and that makes it all worth it in Alex’s eyes. He kissed him. “I can’t wait for you to see it. We are going to make good memories, I swear.” Alex wants nothing more than to believe him, but he just can’t.

They stay up there a bit longer, just the two of them. Alex can’t bring himself to say anything otherwise, he’ll end up talking his way out of this. So they just stay there holding each other then with that, a shaky truce, if that had even been laid.

When they come back into the kitchen, Valentino has done his bit to calm down Marc, but he’s still jumpy. Valentino is still holding Marc as he asks “So you’ll do it. Will both of you come to the ranch?” It’s different hearing the same question out of Valentino's mouth rather than Franky’s. Marc is nodding before Alex has time to process what that truly means. Franky is nodding along too, and once again, Alex is just along for the ride.

He helplessly nods and only hopes that the trip will be kind.

#Pavlove #SEE GUYS I DIDN"T FORGET WE ARE CLOSE #rosquez #alexfranky #motogp rpf #saturn writing #omg i actually can't believe it :)

saturnskyss