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I accept the fact that I will never be ready,

slam so hard and heavy right in the center of my being

that when you run pass through me,

I'll look back and let you in myself.

#words #pawnthesj #poetry #love #prose #feelings #poem

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Maybe I had too much red wine. You're starting to glow in my eyes. I can't help but smile, "You took my basket."

"Huh?"

You did. You really took my basket.

"All my life, I've been carrying this basket on my back. It's a basket filled with unnecessary stuff. All the bad kind I thought was part of who I am."

Never once did you look away. Listening to me and what my wine filled brain has to say.

"You took my basket, hand it over to me, and made me slowly throw away what is in it. One by one."

This is so easy. The way we talk. It's the most wonderful thing for me. I say what I have to and you reply, not necessarily with words, but you reply.

I don't remember a thing about the movie we just finished. I can't help but smile. I like your eyes. Those eyes have calmed a ton of shit storm in my life.

"Soon we'll throw the basket away. You don't need it. We will throw it away."

#pawnthesj #poem #poetry #prose #script #scenario #writer #words

when my brain vomits #1

For someone who doesn’t like small talk, my brain seems talk a lot. There are too many thoughts that are recurring in my head. It is always one step, two steps, ahead of me. Nobody asks for my opinions but I want to tell them anyway. These thoughts may be healthy or unhealthy so I am forcing to vomit them here. I hope you don’t mind. We all have our limits, I have reached mine.

“The truth is difficult to accept, that’s why people lie. “

I don’t agree. I find it easier to accept when there is nothing I can do about the situation. You can’t change the facts. The truth, even if it’s so difficult to accept is the truth. It will hit you hard once said but in the long run, is easier to accept.

“I don’t love anymore.”

"I don’t like to do what you want me to do.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

I think we should tell the truth. It is better to hit them with the truth than repeatedly hurt them with tiny little ball of lies.

But then, this is my opinion. I hope you vomit your thoughts too. They shouldn’t be living in your head making homes.

#pawnthesj #when my brain vomits #words

Oh darling, how beautiful your eyes are when you look up to me.

I look at your tiny little fists and think of the human anatomy,

is that how tiny your heart should be?

Cold little feet kicking but too weak to walk,

let out a cry because you can't talk.