#peake centered

[partyatmyhaus]

Wouldn’t It By Easy To Believe?

The soulmate AU where your bruises/scratches/scars show up on your soulmates skin in different colors. - Matt Peake has never lead an easy life- but it lead to him meeting his Soul Mates.

AO3 Mirror

On his 8th birthday the marks show up. Perfect thin rings of various colors on his upper left leg. Right under the red swirl of a font- where his name is written. When he asks his mother, she gets wide eyes and tells him never to show his father. Matt doesn’t understand why it’s such a big deal but promises her anyways.

-

[It’s about this time colors appear on his skin, patches of gold around his elbows and lilac on his wrists. Matt wants to ask his mother- but he remembers how she reacted about his colors, and keeps his mouth shut.]

-

It’s when Matt turns 10, he learns what the marks on his legs are. Matt learns about what soulmates are, and learns about why he gets splotches of other colors on his skin. His teacher explains it to him, about how when your soulmate (or soulmates in Matt’s case) get hurt- their color would appear on his skin- wherever the bruise was forming for them. And that if there was a scar, it would appear on the other- lighter than a bruise would, but it would stay.

And so his teacher explains that the lilac on his nose, comes most likely from his soulmate getting a broken nose.

Matt goes home and when he accidently makes his dad mad that night- he ends up worried he’ll be too broken for his soulmates later on.

-

When Matt turns 12 his dad finds out about how many bands he has. The colors, the fact his son is an abnormality and spends an hour banging on the bathroom door- screaming at him for being a mistake.

Screaming loud enough Matt hear him loud and clear, even with his hands over his ears and his loud sobs.

He hears his father’s voice loud and clear.

-

By the time he’s in the 8th grade, everyone knows him as the freak with 7 other soulmates. Soulmates that must hate having him because he’s always coloring their bodies in bright red- bright noticeable, questionable red.

It’s also about this time, his dad seems to be angry every night. Angry and drunk, everything becoming his mother’s fault somehow. Everything being blamed on her, on one occasion the fact it was raining being blamed on her.

Matt spends most night- falling asleep to the sounds of glass shattering, yelling  and the noise of his own thoughts repeating his apologies to his soulmates.

-

High school starts, and he’s the only one causing colors. The scrapped white knees, and bruised grey palms have stopped. And he tries, he tries to stop the colors- the fighting, the one sided brawls. But his mom left, and Matt is still known as the freak with 7 other soulmates and he’s a small kid versus big football players and a cruel father.

Matt always tries to protect his own face, not for himself but for the 7 others. He tries, but he doesn’t always succeed.

-

10th grade is when he starts to self harm, he’s lost the will to care anymore. He’s heard of platonic soulmates and he knows at this point that’s what the bands have to mean. He’s not good enough to have a romantic soulmate- he knows that.

So he burns, tears, scratches and picks at his own skin. He yearns for some form of control- he hates his father but hates his mother more. He just wants something to be in his control for the next two years that he’s a dependant of his father. For the next two years he’s stuck in this household that makes his freshly washed clothes reek of alcohol and blood.

His arms become a mess, but he carefully destroys the area of his leg where the lines are.

The one night in particular where everything fell apart, and he came to the conclusion that: it was all his fucking solemates faults. If he had one soulmate he wouldn’t have this fucking problem. All these fucking problems. So, he spends an hour or two crying in the bathroom- tearing his leg and sobbing. He just wants it to stop.

He just wants everything to stop.

-

In Grade 11 the his knuckles are turning green and purple- without him doing anything. His solemates fight, meanwhile he lays and takes it. Under his hoodie is worse than ever- his ribs causing him pain at the smallest breath, nothing being able to heal before something new happened.

It’s also in Grade 11, he gets jumped. He goes to a football game on a whim, with a couple of kids from his Spanish class. He ends up getting cornered by a group of kids while he walked home in the dark.

They end up tackling him, ripping his shorts down and one of them crudely cutting into his leg while he cried and screamed and begged.

For the first time in years, Matt silently apologizes to his soulmates for the word that will scar into their skin under the already damaged area of the bands.

‘Monster’.

-

Highschool ends in a blur, grandparents and aunts he didn’t know he had pay for him to go to college and that’s when it starts to get better.

There’s no more marks coming from him, in fact the only colors on his skin come in the form of green, purple and gold. He wonders if green and purple are okay- they seem to fight a lot.

-

College is when he starts to figure out who he is as a person. Away from the fighting and the constant noise. College is when Matt spends the time to figure out that men and women are attractive- and he also figures out that he doesn’t seem to have a type. Too many variations of what ‘attractive’ is, too many shapes and sizes. Too many tones and quirks for him to narrow down.

-

In the middle of college he gets admitted to the hospital. He wakes up with thick bandages around his wrists and up his arms. He spends hours daydreaming about someone, anyone coming to visit him- to worry over him.

No one comes.

-

He’s discharged a week later on the empty promise of calling a therapist and enough fake smiles for no one to worry.

-

By the time college ends, he’s got depression. Massively so. It coming back in a tidal wave of antidepressants, and trying to motivate himself to go to job interviews. He somehow ends up with one, a nice job actually, for a pretty big tv show- but he hates it. Like something about it makes him sit just slightly to the left- like everything about it is just a tiny bit off.

-

[He gets trashed one night and relapses, after 2 years of being clean he relapses and ends up with a new phrase under the still ever present ‘Monster’.

‘I’m sorry’]

-

He gets a job with them, by chance.

Their ad looking for a new editor gets sent to him by a colleague- a friend who knows he’s miserable and on a whim he submits his resume and forgets all about it.

Until a few days later when his phone rings right after he gets home, and it’s some guy named Bruce- asking to set up an interview.

He gets hired a week later.

-

[Bruce is very kind when Matt explains he doesn’t want to shake hands on the deal- that he doesn’t want to touch in general].

-

When he joins he starts to hear about their relationship, learn more about them as people- and the gnawing feeling in his stomach grows everyday. He learns about how Bruce and Adam used to fight in high-school. How Elyse loved to roller blade as a kid- and never wore knee pads. Matt laughs endlessly over how Lawrence loved dodgeball as kid, but did not love how everyone threw harder than him.

[The gnawing feeling explodes one day over lunch when Joel talks about how he broke his nose in the 4th grade- Matt has to leave so he can stop shaking].

-

They all go out for drinks one night, and Matt spends the entire evening making sure his hands are covered by his hoodie- making sure no skin to skin contact can happen.

And outside of him being unable to enjoy his buzz- he does find himself laughing and enjoying the company of his friends.

He’s delighted when Elyse shows up and he leaves the bar that night with a new number in his phone under the contact name ‘Funniest Willems’.

-

It’s after a drunk stream, at the end of their day- that the gnawing feeling becomes just a lump of pain and dread at the bottom of his stomach.

He doesn’t remember who starts the conversation, all he knows is everyone is talking about sole marks (everyone but him of course). And eventually someone outside of their little squad is talking about the worst marks from a solemate and Adam looks ready to wilt away and Adam rambles out,

“Whoever they are- they really hate themselves. And I just wanna help.” He gives a shrug and Matt feels his heart start to beat faster, “They tried to kill themselves a few years back- and I mean technically they did. I’ve never been as scared as I was when their mark went black. It was awful. You remember that night, James?”

Matt feels ready to throw up at the nod James gives- and even drunk James looks so sad. Matt wants to make their pain stop but instead he wills himself to stay still and faced towards his computer, mimicking editing the video in front of him- even as Joel speaks up.

“They don’t want us.” And it’s the way he says it, the defeat and tiredness that should make Matt guilty but all it does is bubble up something he has never felt before in its full form.

Matt feels angry. He feels hot bitter rage, and years of pent of animosity. His hands clench so tight around his mouse that it actually pops the plastic on one side and he’s shaking when he stands up.

It catches Lawrence’s attention and it must be his face or his movements but the other doesn’t say a word as Matt packs up to leave. He does however follow Matt out of the office, and it’s only once they reach the parking garage does he call out for Matt.

“We’re sorry for bringing that up in front of you, man.” And something about the tone Lawrence is using- doesn’t calm him down, it in facts just pisses him off more. Matt throws his laptop bag into the back seat of his car and slams the door,

“Yeah, why is that?” And he huffs out a sarcastic laugh and turns to look at Lawrence. The anger ebbs away when he sees the look on Lawrence’s face.

“Because you don’t have a solemate.”

Matt doesn’t say anything before he turns and gets into his car.

-

The next morning, Matt wakes up and makes the decision. The decision that today he would touch one of them, to see if this was real or just a cruel joke played on him but the universe.

It takes too long for all of them to get into work, but the second the last person is through the door (Sean), Matt has ditched his hoodie and is starting to sweat lightly. This was stupid- there was no possible way these people were his soulmates. But he hoped.

Matt hadn’t hoped for something in a very long time.

So he manages to swallow his nerves somehow and walk over to where Adam and Bruce are standing around Joel’s desk.

“What’s up, Peake?” Bruce asks and Matt suddenly doesn’t have words.

“Uh, I forgot.” And he ends up sitting at his desk berating himself for the next hour for being such a coward.

-

[Matt cries the next morning when he gets into the shower and finds various hand print shaped bruises on his hips and thighs].

-

It’s when his birthday rolls around that their in the office, it is the middle of a Tuesday and they’re all dicking around (Elyse visiting her boys during her lunch hour), and suddenly everyone is planning what to do for his birthday- that he just is overwhelmed by this urge to cry a little bit.

“What do you want for your birthday?” Elyse is giggy as she asks, bouncing on her toes and has her phone already open and Matt just answers the first thing on his mind.

“A hug.” He feels stupid the second he says it, but it’s true.

“A hug? What you’ve never been hugged or something?” James says, elbowing his double hoodie hidden- midsection and Matt sees no reason to lie to them. They’re his friends- his best friends. (His only friends).

“Never had one.” He shrugs as he says it, and instantly looks to the ground afterward. The silence that follows is awful, it makes Matt want to scream.

“Uh, I have a lot of editing to do. Anything you get me will be fine- and you know you don’t, uh, have to get me anything. Birthdays have never been a big deal.” He says it to them, still looking at the ground- before shuffling away and back to his desk.

-

His birthday comes and everyone ends up having a mini-party at the Willems’. Lawrence and Sean get him a support for his work chair- to help with the back pain that comes from editing. Elyse, James and Bruce get him various gag gifts (including but not limited to: a neon blue ball gag, flavored lube, and a 6 foot poster for the movie North), but actually buy him 10 various games, including one he had wanted as a kid but never got.

Joel gets him a Sega Genesis and a refurbished GameCube. And Matt has to blink away a small misting in his eyes.

Adam is the one who breaks the dam. All the other gifts having built up his want to cry- but Adam shatters it. Just breaks his resolve and causes it all to crash around him.

“It’s a lame gift.” Adam hands him the wrapped box with an awkward smile and rubs the back of his neck. And Matt mumbles some comment about how he sure its fine, and once he gets the paper off- he finds out it’s not a box but it is in all actuality a picture frame. A nice black simple frame, with a certificate inside of it.

Matt has to read the words about 10 times before he cognitively understands it, and when he does he just can’t help the tears. He tries to blink them away, but he just can’t.

“Oh God. I didn’t mean to make you cry!” Adam is freaking out, going to place a hand on his shoulder- but pulls it back. They all know how Matt is with touch. He hovers awkwardly, as Matt begins to sob.

Matt feels ridiculous as he sobs on the Willems’ couch, clutching the picture frame to his chest- but he can’t stop.

“This is,” He has to take a breath, “The nicest thing anyone ha-has ever done for me.”

And it takes a few minutes for him to calm down, and after he’s settled- James asks what Adam got him.

“He wouldn’t tell us.” And Matt just smiles and finally pulls the frame from his chest,

“A star.” Matt sniffles, “Adam bought me a star.”

And Adam, God bless him, looks so out of place and is blushing for God’s sake that Matt can’t seem to help himself.

Matt ends up chest to chest with Adam, the bulk of Matt’s 3 hoodies pressing gently against Adam’s t-shirt. And everyone is just dead silent as they watch the two of them. Matt’s still got tears drying on his eyelashes, and his nose is bright red- but Adam is looking at him like Matt is the most wonderful thing in the room- and it takes a moment for Matt to eventually raise a hand- and bring it just millimeters from Adam’s skin.

And they’re so close, they’re breathing each other’s air and it’s been 2 years and they’ve never touched. Matt has never showed any sign of wanting to touch them.

And then, much like Matt is- gent but firm, Matt presses his hand onto Adam’s face. And the smile that comes from the heat on their marks, is nothing short of magnificent.

“Is Matt-?” It’s Lawernce that whispers it, and Matt and Adam are still just staring at each other, Matt’s hand still on his face- even as Adam nods.

“Yeah.”

-

It takes no time at all for them to allow Matt to gently touch them- and by the end of the night all of their marks are a little darker.

“This is the best birthday I’ve ever had.” Matt mumbles, right before he falls asleep that night- tucked into the guest bed, and he feels someone pet his hair.

“This the best your birthday I’ve ever had, too.” And Matt gives a huff of a laugh and drifts off to the sound of Elyse berating James for being an idiot.

-

The next morning, Matt is officially a year older and he wakes up to the smell of he doesn’t know what, but it’s good.

He ends up stumbling downstairs, with bed tousled hair and sleepy eyes. And it earns him a coo from James- who he waves away instantly.

By the time he’s eaten and woken up- he notices that everyone’s stuff is still by the front door. And when he voices that to Elyse, who’s working at the dishes she gives him a sad sort of smile.

“We tried to get them to leave, but after last night they said they weren’t going anywhere without you.” And she’s nodding over the breakfast counter into the living room- the same living room Matt stumbled through half awake.

And he peaks his head over and wants to...He doesn’t know what he wants to do, but his heart does a little jump at the sight of his boys. His idiots.

Adam is on the couch, face pressed into the cushions and snoring ever so slightly, and right next to him, Lawrence is asleep in the arm chair.

It’s seeing Lawrence in the armchair that makes Matt frown and somehow he ends up gently nugging Lawrence awake and leading him upstairs to the bed that is now unoccupied.

Sean wanders down somewhere in the time Matt takes Lawrence’s glasses off and get him under the blankets.

It’s a nice morning. Very domestic and warm.

-

[Matt decides that he loves sleepy Adam, he also decides he does not like sleepy Lawrence as much].

-

They spend the entire day dicking around, and it’s only when Matt stands to help with the dishes that Sean lets out a little noise.

And Matt is stretching- arms reached out over him, and it’s too perfect not too. So sean quickly moves and wraps his arms around Matt. Smashing their chests together, and tucking his head into the space available by Matt’s neck.

And Sean feels Matt go still- and they’re the closest they’ve ever been- physically and emotionally. Sean can feel how fast Matt’s heart is beating. And just when Sean goes to move away and apologize, Matt is wrapping his arms around Sean in a grip that makes it seem like he’ll never let go of him.

They end up sitting on the floor- never once breaking the embrace. Sean ends up sitting in Matt’s lap while Matt hides his face in Sean’s shoulder. Sean’s sure he can feel wetness, but he doesn’t say anything.

No one else says anything about it, they just let it happen. Photos are taken- granted, but they all remember what Matt had told them.

“Never had one.”  

They all remember that up until this point Matt Peake had never had a hug.

-

They all spend the night again together, but this time Adam and Sean end up in bed with Matt- hugging him all through the night.

-

Matt comes to the boys, a few days later, during lunch- with a solemn expression. He sees them start to panic a little so when he speaks, he addresses it to Joel,

“I never wanted you to think, I didn’t want you. I wanted you very much. But…” Matt lets out a sigh and waves a hand tiredly, “You know. M’a little broken.”

And in a much softer voice adds, “Didn’t think you’d want me.”

And Matt won’t look at him, but he knows when Joel remembers what he’s talking about by the little ‘oh’. Matt is determined to stare at the floor, and anywhere away from their faces.

“Matt…” For once it seems as if Joel has no idea what to say but does what Joel does best:

Offer physical contact.

Matt sees the hand come into his view and tug him forward by the arm, and- oh-  Matt could really get used to this surprise hugging thing.

“We want you, Matt. Trust me. We do.” And Joel is petting the back of his head, and Goddamn Matt could totally get used to this surprise hugging thing.

-

Matt tells them about everything a few weeks later, over dinner at Lawrences. They all listen, only stopping to interrupt when it was obvious Matt was getting distraught.

“I didn’t put ‘monster’ there.” He’s crying again but he needs them to know that, “Some kids from my high school...They, pushed me down and did it. That wasn’t me.”

“Okay, sweetie. It’s okay. We believe you.” He ends up being curled between Elyse and Lawrence, mumbling out various words of comfort to him.

-

They move to Roosterteeth, and he follows of course. Matt would follow them where-ever they go.

-

Matt’s dad dies the next fall, and he kind of hates himself for not caring- but he spends the night curled on the couch watching movies with the people he was told he didn’t deserve and the guilt disappears.

-

[[The next time he finds bruises of handprints on his body- he smiles as he see’s the versions he has on himself.]]

[partyatmyhaus]

From writing prompts: You fall helplessly in love with the most amazing person in the universe. You don’t have the courage to tell them how you feel, so instead, you pledge your life to become a ninja tirelessly making their life better in tiny ways. (Im thinking maybe lar and adam or maybe OT8?)

woops its shorter than i wanted and also OT8

also lil bit of a sick!fic my B

-

Heaccepts he is in love with them- all of them. He’s in love with James’ eyes andElyse’s quick wit. He loves the way Bruce includes all of them into everything,the way Adam is so caring and gentle. He loves Joel’s hair and his stupidcheeky smile. He’s is in love with Sean, and the way his face flushes when he’sembarrassed. He loves the way Lawrence is so open about what he likes, and whathe doesn’t- something about the way he doesn’t care about what anyone is goingto say, it just makes Matt’s heart sing.

           He knows he is in love with them. All of them.

           He also knows he can never let them know. They can neverbe made aware that he daydreams of them, that he wonders about what their lipsfeel like, and they can never know that sometimes- when he’s home alone, hecurls up and cries. Just enough to relieve the pressure of being in love with 7people, who have no clue.

           Being in love with 7 people who are already datingeach other.

-

           Matt starts ‘helping out’ about 4 months after he’s cometo terms with his affections. It starts on a rainy, windy, and cold Tuesday. Itwas late in day, and Adam was banging his head against his desk. After hestopped he looked back up and said,

           “Guys. There’s so much shit still sitting in the doc. C’mon.”And the way he says it- Matt knows, justknows, he’s gonna try to stay all night and do the work himself. Andsomething about the way Adam is sitting makes Matt’s heart ache to try to helphim. Adam is hunched in, trying to make himself smaller- his eyes have littlespark to them today and the bags under his eyes make him seem so much olderthan he really was.

           By the time lunch rolls around- Matt has made sure hefinished his video for the day- and he quietly uploads it to their server, fordouble check before final upload. After that he grabs James- who’s coming backinto the office, holding his lunch, and Matt makes sure he’s going to take Adamhome- and not let him stay and work himself into an early grave. James nods athim (and thanks him for being a good friend)and walks off- probably to find Elyse.

           Matt pulls up the doc and starts off by taking one of thebiggest jobs- a 2 hour play through of Don’t Starve, and starts to edit it. Bythe time he’s about half way through, James is pulling Adam away- and everyonesans himself and Bones are gone within the half hour. He finishes the Don’tStarve video, soon after that. And he looks back at the doc- there was still somuch left. He knows it’ll bare down on Adam tomorrow- but legally, he mustleave by 11- so he takes all the files from the Doc and uploads them into hisflash drive. He makes sure to check ‘in progress’ next to all the files andpacks up to head home.

-

           He doesn’t sleep that night. He sits up and works his waythrough all the files, luckily most of them being photoshops or thumbnails-which don’t take as long as editing a video. There are a couple videos but hesomehow flies through them, and he’s practically finished with the last onewhen he hears Bruce’s alarm clock go off.

           ‘Fuck.’

-

           Matt kind of hauls ass after that- making sure to getinto work before anyone else. Which he does, and he silently uploads all thefiles- checks completed next to them, and starts on the video in his personal docket.

-

           [Adam comes in still looking tired and small- and strungout, and Matt knows when he’s seen the doc because he just sits up and looksaround. Confused, because there has been notime to do that. Matt watches as he goes through every file and by the end ofthe day Adam is much more awake- which makes up for how tired Matt feels].

-

           After that Matt starts picking up on things he can do tohelp. He takes things off of everyone else’s docket- doing them at home, themjust ending up in their folder the next day completed. Matt never hears anyonebring it up- they must assume it’s something the interns are doing or maybe oneof their lovers.

           His newest contribution is doing the laundry. More specifically,doing laundry for everyone else. On nights he knows someone is going to be at Bruceand his place- Matt leaves and goes to whoever isn’t at home’s apartment. Usuallybeing Adam’s (which is also Sean and Lawrence’s but nonetheless). Matt makessure to take all the clothes scattered everywhere, and spends a couple hourswashing, drying and folding the laundry. Leaving it nice and neat in the basket,sitting on their bed waiting for them to come home.

           (It’s a little weird but it’s nothing he hasn’t done forthem before).

-

           He starts agreeing to go out to the bar with them. Hesits and laughs and it’s nice but if he’s being honest- Matt only goes so thathe can drive them home. Make sure they all get back safe and sound- without payingan arm and a leg for a Lyft.

-

           He has keys to all their apartments so it’s not breakingand entering. And Elyse had been complaining about the broken sink all day- andJames talking about how expensive a plumber was. And by the end of the workday- when all of them headed out for dinner, Matt packed up and headed over tothe Willems’.

           Matt had been there enough times to know where everythingwas, and within an hour (with some help from google and E-How) the sink was nolonger backed up and dripping- but fully functional.

           He puts everything back where it was and leaves theapartment door with a quiet ‘click’(and a pat to Benson’s head of course).

-

           It’s only when Matt gets sick that the whole thing fallsapart- he’d been doing it for about a year now. Laundry, edits, miscellaneous repairs.Sneaking around in their lives like some kind of ninja.

           But Matt wakes up one morning and can feel it in hisbones- that he’s sick. And not cute sniffles sick, he’s got snot running downthe back of his throat and he’s gonna throw up- sick. He honestly

           It’s when Bruce comes into his room, presumably to ask ifhe’s ready to leave for work- that he knows he’s fucked. Matt was just going toemail Bruce that he wanted to work from home, but he knows that’s not gonnahappen now.

           Matt is on the floor, leaning against the side of hisbed- trashcan pulled up in front of him and he knows he must look like shitbecause Bruce drops his bag onto the floor (the bag carrying his laptop), andis instantly at his side, feeling his forehead.

           “Stay here.” Is all Bruce says before he’s standing upand wandering off to wherever- Matt doesn’t may attention, he just balances hishead on the edge of the trash can and wills himself not to retch again.

-

           Matt is out sick for a week, and that’s when they all putit together. For the first time sense the magic appearing of completed work;any of them bothering to look at whouploaded it- on the 4th day of Matt being out.

           File#2434435 Uploaded by: MatthewNPeake            File#2434438 Uploaded by:MatthewNPeake            File#243435 Uploaded by:MatthewNPeake            File#243498 Uploaded by:MatthewNPeake            File#209215 Uploaded by:MatthewNPeake            File#2490875 Uploaded by:MatthewNPeake            File#2499061 Uploaded by:MatthewNPeake            File#3908762 Uploaded by:MatthewNPeake

“Mother fucker.”

-

           When Bruce gets home that night, he’s got Adam and Elysetrailing in behind him. Matt is asleep on the couch- wearing a hoodie Bruceknows isn’t his, and there are tissues everywhere, but luckily it doesn’t smelllike bile.

           Matt is snoring- and Bruce winces in sympathy- he could hear how clogged he sounded from thedoorway. Poor guy- always running himself into the ground.

-

           When Peake wakes up on the 5th day of himbeing sick, he’s got his head in someone’s lap- and someone is running theirhands through his hair.

           “Wass’ the time?” He tries to sit up, and is kind ofhappy when he’s not able too. The hand from his hair, pressing on his chest.

           “It’s around 2 am.” That’s Elyse voice. He liked Elyse’svoice- it’s so smooth and sweet…like candy.

           Matt hears her laugh and he knows he said that outloud-but before he can stress himself out and worry about it, shes dropping a kissto his still sweaty forehead and mumbling a ‘get some rest. We’ll be here whenyou get up’.

           He starts to wonder ‘we’ when he hears Adam give smallsigh- and Matt opens his eyes just enough to see his feet are being rested inAdam’s lap. Adam who is fast asleep and Matt knows his back is gonna kill him tomorrow. But man sleep suresounded like a good idea.

-

           After he’s better, and at work again- they actually sitdown and have a real adult conversation. Matt (unwillingly) tells them aboutall the things he had started doing, and he spent half an hour rambling onabout why- without actually sayingwhy.

           Eventually it’s Bruce who cuts him off with a ‘What?’ and Matt is frustrated and justblurts, ‘I’m in love with you.’ Andhe drops his head, ‘All of you.’

-

           That night- when Elyse and Adam make him lie in-betweenthem in bed- Matt quietly berates himself for not telling them sooner. And it’sonly when James’ slips into bed- behind Elyse, and grabbing his hand over herbody that he smiles.

           “You’re still gonna do those edits for us though right?”James whispers it into the quiet bedroom air. And Adam is breathing steadily onthe back of Matt’s neck, and Elyse looks so calmthat Matt never wants to leave this place. So instead he chooses to squeezeJames’ hand back and reply with a soft,

           “Not on your fucking life, Willems”