Who are you? My name’s Mackenzie, but I prefer “The Mack”.
Who’s your daddy? None other than resident badass extraordinaire Noah Puckerman.
Who’s your momma? Her name’s Shelby Corcoran. My dad has a habit of getting women pregnant. He got this girl name Quinn pregnant—my dad and her are still friends, somehow, so we’ve met—and they gave away the baby, Beth, to Shelby, who’s the biomom of a mutual friend of theirs. (Beth & Rachie are cool big sisses, I guess; a little vanilla.) Anyway, Dad gets all hot-slash-lovey-dovey for Shelby and one thing led to another and it turns out that my mom wasn’t as infertile as she thought and Dad wasn’t so vasectomied as he claimed.
How’d you get your name? I like to make out with truck drivers… Oh, yeah, that’s just lucky coincidence. I’m not sure really unless Dad named me after his favorite stripper or something; that’d suck. At least Beth was named because of a song.
So, why’d you come back in time? Me and Ronnie—Ronnie’s my half-sister. Dad got one of his on-and-off-girlfriends, Lauren, pregnant, too (I don’t wanna talk about it, capeesh?) We went back in time for basically shits and giggles. We hung around McKinley for a while; started up a gang called “The Skanks”.
Apparently, the whole teen pregnancy thing’s hereditary, because I ended up getting knocked up by… frankly, I’m not sure, but I’m hoping it was that truck driver with the awesome ZZ Top beard and not that stoner kid Brett. (Tequila fucks you up, okay?) Anyway, I ended up making friends with Quinn when she was spawned up with my big sissie Beth.
Ronnie and I kind of had a falling out, because Q and Dad were all lovey-dovey at the time (Ronnie’s still convinced her mom is Dad's one true love or something. Laugh and I cut your face off, okay?), and I thought it was cute. It was the baby hormones talking, obviously. Anyway, I gave the little bastard away, and got the Skanks going again. Turns out a year later, Quinnie Church-Dress is going through a punk phase, so I get Ronnie to let her in. She only lasted a few months before Rachel got her to go Goodie-Two-Shoes again.
I also joined the Troubletones, mostly to get back at Quinn—that blew up in my face—but also ‘cuz, you know, Mom. Also, I love dancing; you kind of get a feel for it when you sneak into as many clubs as I do.
Have any crushes? You think the daughter of Noah Puckerman gets “crushes”? What is this middle school? I’m a lay-‘em-and-leave-‘em kind of girl. Ronnie likes to tease me that I had a thing for Quinn, and sure we got drunk and went to second once, but she like had a baby with my dad, and had a repressed crush on the girl who's my half-sister. My family tree’s already tangled enough, okay?
Image Credit: acceptthethingsyoucannotchange, quinnisgay, jolopuff
Original Idea: getupandgo87