27) Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?
What I tend to do is just recharge the batteries in various ways. Which transitions into the next ask actually!
28) How did you recharge between fics?
Chill out, watch something, listen to music or go see my dog. That one especially helps.
29) If this were an awards show, who would you thank?
@museaway for beta'ing two of my fics this year! It was my first time I worked with a beta reader, I held off for a while because of anxiety. But working with her really helped me and I'm a lot less anxious about it now. 💖
30) What’s something that you want to write in 2024?
More Kaiketsu Zubat, because we're still in the single digits, and I love this show.
67. I would have more if I transferred more LJ stuff over, but I am largely embarrassed by those works.
What's your total ao3 word count?
282,047 words.
What fandoms do you write for?
I am going to list the major ones, but I dipped my toes in The Borgias, The Magicians, and Good Omens. But the ones I’ve written the most for are:
A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Supernatural (TV 2005)
The Vampire Diaries (TV)
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
you call my name and it feels like home (1,197 kudos)
i grow green with hope (599 kudos)
desire holds me like a knife (493 kudos)
twenty-one grams (493 kudos)
The Whispering Ghosts (Left You Out In The Cold) (433 kudos)
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
The most honest answer is: I try, but sometimes my neurotic anxious parts of my brain take over and I don’t reply. As a commenter and reader, I personally don’t mind if the author doesn’t reply back because I don’t wish to be perceived, but I’m also not sure what the etiquette is anymore. Do they also want me to reply to their reply? Is this a conversation now? I think AO3 changed a lot of fandom norms and expectations because I don’t remember being this conscious of myself and comment threads were the norm. But anyway, the tl;dr of it: I try and work up the nerve and sometimes I fail, sometimes I do it months later, sorry!
What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I tend to write ambiguous to hopeful endings, so this was hard to determine, so I think it is a tie between The Whispering Ghosts (Left You Out In The Cold) and Watch Your Step (You'll Need A Miracle). The former because the entire fic is bleak and the ending is essentially more of the same, while the latter is about the emotional shattering of someone post-assault.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
This question is very subjective because I tend to write things that might not be considered happy for some people, but are happy to me. In a more traditional sense, twenty-one grams feels the most happy because the rest of the fic is a grueling exercise in grief and eventually Eddie is brought back to life and everyone can move forward, so the relief is palpable. But on an iddy level, my favorite happy ending is we could live forever in each other’s faces because I want Sam and Dean to have a baby and rule together in Hell forever and ever.
Do you get hate on fics?
Yes. I used to get a lot of angry comments in the From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series fandom, and recently I had a lot of disgruntled people on my most recent fic. It could be my long-term anonymous hater, but who knows.
Do you write smut?
Yes! I used to not be able to and I thought I would never be capable of it, but I feel pretty good about my smut writing skills.
Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I did back in the day, but it was largely Supernatural/One Tree Hill crossovers because I was sixteen and afraid to admit I shipped Sam/Dean. I do muse about crossovers from time to time because I want my faves to meet and I think a lot about how they would interact, but those stories are often low priority for me.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Apparently! Someone was reposting fics on Wattpad and one of my Richie/Eddie fics was reposted. It was deleted before I could report it myself.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
A couple! It was an interesting and flattering experience.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I can't do that because I don't speak any other languages.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes, with @ladyculebras. We often do round robin experiments and exercises, and we posted devour me (if you really think that you can stomach me) because the exercise kept going and we finished the piece.
What's your all-time favorite ship?
Sam/Dean is one of my longest running OTPs, so that feels like the obvious answer, but I never stop feeling feelings for my OTPs, they tend to go into hibernation until I am attacked with feelings and I spiral. Some of my OTPs I don’t write fic for, but still have an immense amount of feelings for. Right now off the top of my head, the OTPs swirling around in my brain at any given time are: Sam/Dean, Louis/Lestat (and Louis/Lestat/Claudia), Seth/Richie, Sam/Tara, Richie/Eddie (and Losers Club OT7), Quentin/Eliot, Geralt/Yennefer, Coriolanus/Lucy Gray/Serjanus, Katniss/Peeta (and Katniss/Peeta/Haymitch), Archie/Betty/Jughead/Veronica.
What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
I have a huge graveyard of unfinished WIPs for fandoms past that I am sure I will never finish, so it is easier to answer that there are a few WIPs I really do want to finish some day. My exit from the IT fandom wasn’t really something I wanted to do, but needed to do for my mental health, but I hope to return and finish some fics when I have more distance. From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series is the fandom I have the most written in and I would like to finish my longer stories in the future.
What are your writing strengths?
I love writing prose and my descriptions are very lush. I also have a strong handle on emotion and using acts of intimacy to push the story forward, but also explore character. I’m good at character and relationship studies. I think I’m adept at writing hot sex scenes. I also have a flair for horror in ways I don’t often employ, but love when I get to.
What are your writing weaknesses?
I need to learn how to not get stuck in my own head and trip all over myself and my insecurities. My biggest hurdle is myself and my own mental hangups. I need to learn that it's okay to experiment and try new things and that I don’t need to please everyone, or be liked, I just need to please myself. I also need to work on not being afraid to write longer stuff and embrace that my brain has a lot of ideas that will take time to write
First fandom you wrote for?
Harry Potter. I still have the handwritten notebook pages from when I was 11.
Favorite fic you've written?
I can’t answer this question because if I look at my fics, I will see the flaws. I will say I am proud of everything I finish because it’s often a battle of wills.
Tagging: Anyone who wants to do this and hasn’t been tagged yet!
I make playlists for most stories with specific vibes and lyrics that suit the story I am working on, so it honestly depends. Though pieces need quiet, I wrote the landscape after cruelty largely without any music at all.
28. Favorite work you wrote this year?
I like all of my pieces and they all have their virtues, so right now I am going with you say, go fast (i say, hold on tight) because it was the the most enjoyable and engaging writing experience, but picking is hard because I genuinely do love all my pieces i wrote this year.
29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?
My favorite passage is in a WIP I haven't finished (a version of Boy King Sam rescues Dean from Hell AU), but I will quote some of it here:
Hell narrows down to Sam before him, his wings blotting out the light, surrounding him, enclosing him in a mock embrace. Light emerges from somewhere, enough to let him see Sam, make out the pensive and empathetic expression on his face.
Dean can’t find his voice, lost it years ago when words stopped mattering, when words weren’t enough to express the depths of his suffering, of his despair and anguish.
He drops the knife.
Dean reaches out with a shaking hands, pausing and waiting to see if Sam will lash out if he gets too close, shove him back, or if he’ll fade away before him, evaporate if he touches Sam, just another trick by Alistair, but Sam reaches for him first, grabbing Dean’s hands and placing them on his chest. Sam feels solid beneath him, skin hot to the touch, but real in a way he’d forgotten, how touch can be gentle, how his brother’s skin felt under his hands. Dean shouldn’t touch him with dirty hands, but he can’t make himself stop, leaving trails and smears of deep red, pressing bloody handprints in his wake, marking Sam up, getting him as messy as Dean is.
Sam lets him, lets Dean’s hands map out the cartography of his body, reaching up to feel the tips of his horns, to the jut of his wings. Dean presses close, bodies and souls brushing and mixing together, until he feels Sam’s arms come around him, folding him up in his embrace, holding Dean; he feels his body unlock and loosen, allowing himself to be held, melting into Sam like if he tried hard enough, he could slip inside him, let Sam carry him out while he lay cradled in the safety of Sam’s ribcage.
30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?
Both the landscape after cruelty and you say, go fast (i say, hold on tight). The former because I didn't think I had the capabilities of going to the dark places it required, and the latter because I plotted it and wrote it over a weekend.
Dean can’t help the initial recognition, the soul-deep assurance, the tie between him and his brother tugging at him, turning him on, turning him alive, alight and awake, ripping the edges of his new reality and tearing him asunder; he wants to run to him, wants to stay still, lock-kneed and waiting for him to come closer, to get a better look, to be sure. It’s been over thirty years, and he’s seen Sam thousands of ways—Sam looking like a soul under his knife, Alistair wearing his face, Sam in his dreams, but never like this, never so tangible.
Alistair was right, Sam shouldn’t be here.
But he was, albeit not all human, not all the brother he left behind, shifted and transformed, changed in ways Dean would have to reconcile with, but he knew he was changed, too, becoming stained, tainted and soiled—how do you think demons are made? A question presented to him over and over, until he had his answer. Sam wasn’t a demon, Sam was altogether different, new. Sam walks into the light with clawed feet attached to long, muscled and bent legs of a beast standing up on its hind legs and learning to walk like a person, his hands were also clawed, black talons where his fingernails should be. Heavy, leathery wings attached to his shoulders, the tips of which dragged along the ground, but his face looked normal, the familiar planes and angles marred only by his yellow eyes, the sharp teeth in his mouth, and the crown of horns growing out from under his hair.
Sam is the first to make a move, stepping closer and raising an outstretched hand, his broad palm welcoming, life and heartlines carved deep with age that Dean has traced lifetimes ago while Sam slept. Sam takes another step, stretching out his fingers, his hand an offering, come on take it, let’s get out of here.
Send me a word, if it’s in my wip document I’ll answer your ask with the sentence that it appears in
‘get to know me’ meme
tagged by @pelopides — thanks! 🩷
Last song? Y’know, ask me that pretty much any day of the year, and the answer would usually be something by Orville Peck (*happy sigh*), but Creepin’ Up On You — Darren Hayes has, ahem, crept in this time!
Currently reading? Ugh, nothing. I haven’t had the time to read much lately. But the last book I read was Daisy Jones & the Six — Taylor Jenkins Reid. But the last book I actually enjoyed (re)reading was A Christmas Carol — Charles Dickens. (Not counting Postman Pat or The Gruffalo… lol)
Currently watching? Currently, like right at this moment, I’m watching Bing, which is a kids’ show that our 2-year-old is obsessed with. It’s not bad, actually, I quite enjoy it myself! 🙈 But other than that, I’m watching a bunch of Tim stuff (obviously ☺️), we’ve just finished rewatching all of Ewan McGregor & Charley Boorman’s Long Way… travel series, and we recently rewatched The Mummy. I bought The Last of Us on DVD yesterday – I’ve not had the chance to watch that yet – so I’ll probably start that soon!
i'm wondering if they're also doing this due to the impending actors strike. it's not looking likely that we're gonna get promo rly due to the strike. but it's still stupid to delay it.
Aaah god yeah, I hadn’t even thought of that!
It’s so crappy that all these strikes need to be happening. Just stop being so damn greedy and pay people properly, and don’t fuckin treat them like a product you own that you can do whatever you like to???
i would risk it all for this man. mythological or philly born and raised. did he mutilate/murder a child to then serve the kid's meat to a horrified dining room? yes. we've all been there!
after chrysipphus, atreus worries that he is a bad person. he's 13. and it wasn't just him. thyestes was there. they were bound by what they did to their half brother. maybe that made aerope sting all the more. maybe it didn't. the bad all jumbles into one in atreus' head now, it's hard to say. the things tyn has untangled, picking piece from piece with his careful knowledge, they fit in their correct spaces. but the rest remains knotted. thyestes was there for chrysipphus but wasn't for- no. he was. aerope was. no. she wasn't. jennifer wasn't- no. she was.
it hurts to try and put the timeline together without tyn's guidance. the pain starts behind his eyes, the full throb of a misplaced heartbeat, before spreading to his whole head. the heartbeat picks up. until it feels his chest, rattling too quickly against the cage of his ribs like a trapped bird.
it hurts but he wants to do it. he doesn't want to be like that again. he shouldn't have done what he did. shouldn't have hurt those kids. their terrified eyes distressingly like daisy's-
which is wrong. aerope's boy and chrysipphus didn't have hippodamia's eyes. the green-hazel of them. distinctly not atreus' pelopian brown. they couldn't have daisy's eyes and he wasn't there. no. he was. with jennifer. he- did atreus hurt them?
he reaches for the phone, dialling tyn's number from well learned memory. he wants to be better. and he's worried he's a bad person.
