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ChangminHo Once-A-Day Drabble Series (40)

SOMETIMES LOVE JUST AIN’T ENOUGH – PERFECTLY IMPERFECT Subseries

The barrage of wild (and loud!) knockings on the door roused Yunho up from his sleep. Rubbing his eyes blearily, he sat up on the bed looking at Changmin sleeping peacefully next to him – completely undisturbed by the deafening knocks on their hotel suite’s door. Yunho had half a mind to kick the man off the bed just in spite for daring to keep on sleeping soundly while Yunho has to leave the comfort of the warm blanket (Read: warm!fluffy!Changmin) and brave the coldness of the room.

The knocks grew louder and more frantic – causing Changmin to whine a bit and turned to burrow his head underneath a fluffy pillow, the cover slid down his back to pooled around his waist. Yunho sighed and stood up to grab one of the bathrobes thrown haphazardly across the bedside dresser. From the spicy woodsy smell, Yunho recognized it as Changmin’s and subconsciously pulled the robe tighter around himself.

He went out to the living room and close the bedroom door behind him quietly as despite he resents that Changmin could sleep through anything, he still doesn’t want anything to wake the younger man up. They had a long flight last evening afterall..

“Yes.. yes.. I’m coming..”

He muttered as another loud knocks rained on the thick door.

It was only after he unlocked the door and in the process of swinging it open that it occurred to Yunho that he should probably at least look through the peephole to make sure that he wasn’t about to let in a psycho or at least some very well-meaning but annoying stalker fans.

Of course once the door is fully opened and he got a good look at who was it standing outside, he really wished that he looked through the peephole first.

“Hello Yunnie.. Miss me?”

Jaejoong…

******************************************************

“What the.. How the hell did you come here? WHY are you here?!”

Jaejoong pushed through Yunho to enter the suite – causing the man to sputtered in indignation.

“Ah-ah.. no.. no.. You cannot come inside, Jaejoong! We’re not supposed to talk, heck.. we’re not even supposed to look at each other..!”

Yunho caught a whiff of the older man’s breath as he passed by him,

“Have you been drinking? God, are you drunk?!”

Jaejoong stopped in the middle of the living room and looked around. He then turned to smirk at Yunho who by now standing slightly behind him – frowning slightly (and God, he really misses that little pout that always seems to adorn that Cupid’s bow lips whenever Yunho feels displeased or sulky).

“Wow.. you guys really raking in the dough without us, eh? Guess the evil Zionist thinks it’s much more profitable to keep you and Bambi all pampered and happy..”

Yunho sighed – suddenly exhausted. He walked around the couch and sat on the plush cushion with a huff,

“Stop it, Jae.. and lower down your voice. Changmin’s sleeping. What is it that you want? You know we both could get in trouble if anyone saw you coming in here. We didn’t even know that you’re in L.A..”

Jaejoong looked at Yunho for a second and if there’s a sad tinge in his eyes, Yunho would much rather pretend he didn’t see it.

“I miss you.”

Yunho gave a wry chuckle and leaned back – resting his head on the back of the couch,

“So what? You suddenly felt the need to see us and hopped on the first plane from Seoul to here? Then went through every hotel in town until you found us?”

Jaejoong went and sat next to Yunho – ignoring the slight stiffening of the other man.

“No. I suddenly felt the need to see YOU and hopped on the first plane from Seoul to here.. And no stalking needed. Despite the company’s effort, I still have friends in high places.. So all it took was just a phone call.. And yes, I think I am a bit drunk at the moment.. That’s what you get from drinking for the nearly 13 hours journey from Seoul to here.”

Yunho sighed.

“I would say that was really unhealthy for your body but we both know you just going to ignore me.”

Jaejoong’s drinking habit was one of the reasons that led to many many arguments before they finally broke up for good after all..

Yunho turned his body to half lay on his side and looked directly at Jaejoong,

“Why are you here, Jae?”

He asked softly.

Jaejoong dropped the smirk and bit his lips. Something that looks a lot like sadness clouded his eyes for a second but Yunho chose to ignore it as he knows the older man would only gets defensive about it.

“I just miss you, Yun-ah..”

He whispered somewhat reluctantly.

“Jae…”

Jaejoong grabbed one of Yunho’s hand and held it tightly against his chest,

“No. Listen.. I know we’re not together anymore.. I understand that. But there’s no rule saying that we can’t see each other and hang out together anymore. Yunho, we’ve been through so much together.. Some shitty stuff, yes but also some memories that I wouldn’t trade for all the gold in the world. It had always been just the two of us. No matter what, I knew that you’ll be there.. But now, I don’t. And I don’t know how to live by myself anymore. I adore Su and Yoochun but Yunho, I miss my best friend the most. I just miss you..”

Yunho swallowed heavily. He understand where Jaejoong coming from.. And if truth be told, he misses the older man as well. How can he not? Jaejoong was his confidante, best friend and partner-in-crime. From the moment they met, he had looked up to the street-smart boy. They clicked together like two pieces of perfect puzzle and it was only natural that their friendship turned to romantic relationship.

“I’ll get some blankets and a pillow for you..”

He whispered softly – already pulling away from Jajeoong’s hold,

“You’re drunk and jetlagged, it would be better to just sleep it off. We’ll deal with what to do tomorrow..”

**********************************************

They were THE perfect couple.

Perhaps too perfect..

And in the end, it’s the burden of to keep their perfection that had been their downfall. They found themselves putting on a performance for the public rather than just be happy with each other’s flaws.

Fans wanted YunJae.. Fans got YunJae.

Every single thing they did will be linked back to their relationship.

God forbid should one of them to be out and about without the other by his side.. Fans would speculate and ponders and wonders that maybe they were fighting.

Should they just casually smile in the other’s general direction, then it was an almost safe bet that within 5 minutes, the net would be buzzing by YunJae loving flirtations..

For Jaejoong, while he loves the attention at first, it came to the point where he felt too caught up in the fans fantasies and kept on pushing for the couple to keep on giving fanservice.

For Yunho, it became more and more about acting than about loving.

What started off as the sweetest love story became a trap for two unwilling participants.

It began with little silly arguments that could easily been smooth over with kisses and presents.

It then escalated to shouting and door slamming and maybe a hard shove or two.

Until one day, with angry tears and hurtful words, one of them walked out and never to come back..

It doesn’t matter who called it quit first..

Both of them know that sometimes love just ain’t strong enough to hold two people together.

It’s not fair..

But that’s life for you..

************************************************

Jaejoong wasn’t sure what woke him up.

All he knows is that he is having a massive headache and his mouth feels like something had crawled inside and decided to die miserably in it.

He was about to groan out loud in misery and roll down the couch (huh, since when did his coach turned from black to cream-coloured?) and perhaps crawl all the way to the kitchen to get some water when hushed whispers reached his ears. From the sound of it, both speakers are standing directly behind the couch.

“All I want to know is that why is he here. No, you know what, I actually don’t care. I just want to know why he is on the couch in OUR suite.”

Oh yeah.. now Jaejoong remembers.. He is now in L.A.. in the suite of his ex and his boyfriend after the immense loneliness he often feels (and usually able to ignore) overwhelmed him and through the haze of drunken hour, he had bought a one-way ticket to L.A where he knew Yunho would be at with every other SM artists like some demented version of Brady Bunch specials . Jaejoong had done some pretty stupid things when he was drunk before but this really takes the cake.

And from the sound of it, Changmin aren’t happy either.

“Because I let him.. He was drunk off his ass, Changmin.. He told me he had been drinking all the way from Seoul to here..”

“And we care about this~.. why?”

“C’mon.. we can’t let him wander about in strange country. It’s dangerous.”

“Again, why do we care? Yunho, you know fully well that he’s nothing but trouble and shit gonna hit the fan if ANYone at all found out him being here!”

“Hush! Lower down your voice.. you gonna wake him up..”

“Good. Easier for me to kick his ass all the way out the door and straight back to Korea!”

A sigh.

“Changmin-ah..”

“No. Don’t you ‘Changmin-ah’ me.. I’m your boyfriend Yunho. I think it’s warranted that I find it a bit suspicious that you happily let your ex came in our hotel room in the middle of the night when we wasn’t even supposed to be in the same country as him. The fact that you never bothered to wake me up looks mighty weird too.”

Pause.

“What are you implying?”

Ooohh.. Jaejoong knows that tone. When Yunho’s voice got all quiet and low, it would so much better for the other party to just stop talking and start groveling.

Of course, this is Changmin.

“I don’t know.. You tell me.”

A long pause (and Jaejoong just itched to peeked from the couch to see what’s going on – hangover forgotten completely)

“If you’re saying what I thought you’re saying, then you must not know me very well after all..”

“Yunho…”

“I think I won’t be joining you and Kyuhyun today. Please send my apology to Kyuhyun-sshi..”

“Liste..”

“Goodbye Changmin.”

A frustrated sigh and few moments later, a hard slam of the door (hey, aren’t Hotel’s door usually has that spring that prevent them from being slammed?? Jaejoong wondered idly).

“You can sit up now, Jae.. He’s gone.”

Jaejoong winced at the dry tone of the younger man. Yunho always knows him best, after all..

“How did you know I’m awake?”

He asked while gingerly sitting up (headache coming back with a vengeance) and look at Yunho who already made his way to the kitchen.

“Because you snore when you sleep.. Plus the carefully calm breathing kinda gave you away.. Get up and go shower. You look like crap and honestly, you starting to smell.”

“I never snore..”

Jaejoong muttered sullenly but still stood up obediently to go into the washroom.

Twenty minutes later found them both in the kitchen – Jaejoong scarfing down food like his life is depending on it.

“Shish ish wood.. whi gint no u kud sook..”

“Who said I made them? It was room service. I just made the coffee..”

Yunho said – long ago an expert in Jaejoong’s Speak.. full mouth or not.

Jaejoong swallowed the remnants of the egg and with a satisfied burp, pushed away his empty plate. The bright cheery kitchen coupled with peaceful silence that had fallen between them while Jaejoong eating and Yunho drinking his coffee, reminded Jaejoong of the happier days when they were younger.

‘How naïve we were then.. Thought the world is just waiting for us and believed that good things happen to good people.’

Jaejoong thought ruefully.

They all knew better now..

At least he is.. Yunho still holding on to the ‘Everybody is my friends even though I just met them 5 minutes ago’ notion.

Jaejoong not sure who he feels sorrier to: Himself or Yunho.

“So… Changmin doesn’t sound happy..”

And hello mouth~ meet foot!

Jaejoong barely stopped facepalming himself.

Yunho gave a dry chuckle,

“No.. No he’s not. That’s okay.. I’m a bit pissed at him as well..”

Jaejoong raised his eyebrows at that..

So~ the perfect new HoMin couple is going through a rough patch, are they??

He wonders…

“No. That doesn’t mean we’re breaking up and no, neither one of us will be joining you three. And yes, despite his overbearing snarky sarcastic possessive to boots attitude, I still love him.”

Yunho cut off Jaejoong’s thought.

“You think you’re so clever, aren’t you?”

Jaejoong grumbles.

Yunho smile innocently,

“No~ I just knew you far better than anyone else..”

“That you do..”

Jaejoong whispers – staring straight across the table into Yunho’s eyes.

“Jae..”

“Please.. Come back, Yunho..”

“Jae”

“No. No, listen to me.. We can’t.. I can’t. Not without you again.. I don’t care how well we’re doing now.. I just can’t.. They never said anything but I know how much Junsu and Yoochun miss you and Changmin. And I.. I’m so lost Yunho.”

He’s getting hysterical now but Jaejoong can’t help it.

“ I look around me and you’re not there and I keep thinking why and how on earth am I supposed to keep on going coz I’m empty… You’re not there and I’m so empty and.. and just nothing matters anymore and I know I can’t do this anymore.. Just take everything... my car, money.. anything!.. Just come back Yunho.. Please.. I don’t know what.. how else I could sa..”

“Hey.. hey now.. c’mon Jae.. breathe..”

Yunho walked quickly around the table to Jaejoong’s side and without hesitation, hug the older man tight.

“You’re my air, Yunho.. Why did I let you go before?”

Jaejoong mumbled against the soft cotton of the t-shirt. The warmth from the younger man’s belly warms up Jaejoong in a way that he haven’t felt in a long while.

Gently Yunho disengaged Jaejoong tight grip on his t-shirt and sat on the chair next to the man. He held both of the other’s hands in his.

“Jaejoong-ah.. you’re the one who left…”

And that’s just it, isn’t it?

Unwillingly Jaejoong could feel a single tear tracks down his cheek.

“I know.. And I’m so sorry..”

He whispered.

“Don’t be. You know it was the best thing to do. We weren’t working out.. And staying would make both of us more miserable. You know that.. coz no matter what you say about yourself, you are the more realistic one between both of us. I would’ve hold on until there’ll be nothing except hate and resentment.. And you know that would destroy us, Jaejoong.. You made the call that I could never do.. And I thank you for that..”

“If I did the right thing.. Then why am I so sad now?”

“Because we’re stupid?.. Because we let this dumb break-up separates us as friends as well.. We might not be the best lovers but Jae.. you were my best friend and I let us down.. I let you down by not fighting for you hard enough. I’m so sorry… I’m sorry I let you ever feel alone. We promised never let the other feel lost. To let the other know that no matter what, there will always be home waiting.. and we didn't keep it.”

“You still remember that?”

“We were hungry and cold and wet from the rain and barely few wons between us.. How could I ever forget that? The night I found my first best friend..”

Jaejoong let out a part choked, part laughter.

“God, do you still remember that horrible shop owner? He chased us away with a broom just coz he thought we looked like some bad kids.. All we want was to buy a cup ramen..”

“Well, it didn’t help that you were mouthing him off.. You taught me few new swear words that night.”

Both of them smile at the memory..

“I’m sorry I caused trouble between you and Changmin.. I shouldn’t have come all the way to here.. God~ what was I thinking..”

Yunho gave Jaejoong’s hands a squeeze,

“You are crazy.. This would be the least surprising thing I should expect you to do.. As for Changmin.. well.. “

Yunho’s eyes clouded for a moment and Jaejoong tempted to ask if he’s alright.. If there really is trouble in the paradise of the new KPop adored couple. Most of all he wants to know if Changmin is treating Yunho right.. or if Changmin is about to make the same mistake as Jaejoong did..

But he held his tongue.

They barely patched things up between themselves and as much as Jaejoong wants to pry, he knows that the younger man would never spills anything until he’s good and ready.

“Yunho?”

“Hmm?”

Yunho shook his head and looked back at his not-quite-back-together best friend.

“Ah.. never mind him.. So what are you going to do now? You know you can’t be seen anywhere near here, right? The press and fans would have a field day over this.. Not to mention the company would use this to sue JYJ.”

Jaejoong wrinkled his nose at that and while he would rather to pursue more on the Changmin/Yunho matter, one look at Yunho’s strained smile and he knew he shouldn’t.

“Uhm.. I guess I’m going back to Korea on the earliest flight I could find.. You brought your laptop with you, right? It’ll be better if I could just buy the ticket online.”

As Jaejoong busy on the phone calling to confirm his flight out that evening, Yunho found himself just sitting on the couch and staring at him.

Jaejoong truly is one of the most beautiful person he had ever met.. And not just because of his ethereal feature.. It’s more of his inner light..

See, people couldn’t help but feels mesmerize by the male.

Whatever Jaejoong feels, the world would feel with him.

It’s just the way he is..

When he laughs, his eyes.. his wide grin, his whole body invites you to laugh with him..

When he’s sad, all it took is just a glimmer of unshed tears and the world would weep beside him.

When he’s calm, people would automatically slow down and just enjoy the quiet beauty that nature has to offer.

Looking at him now, Yunho realized just how much he really missed the older man.

Yes, they were lovers once. Yes, they didn’t part on a good term.

But before the ugliness that is fame and the sorrow of money,

There were just Yunho and Jaejoong.

Two country kids dreaming of making it big in the big world.

“Okay! Everything’s done and confirmed with~!”

Jaejoong switched off the phone and turned to grin at Yunho.

Could you arrange for the hotel to call me a taxi or something?? Maybe it could pick me up from the back entrance to avoid bumping with people that might recognize me?”

Yunho didn’t say anything and just stood up and walked towards Jaejoong to grab the older man into another hug – burying his face against the other’s neck.

Jaejoong yelped in surprised before just letting himself relaxing and returned the hug.

“Omo.. what is this? Could it be you changed your mind after all?”

He asked teasingly.

Yunho only gripped him tighter,

“Don’t leave me alone again, hyung…”

Jaejoong rubbed the back of the younger man gently. Both of them knows that Yunho wasn’t referring to Jaejoong leaving physically,

“Anytime.. anywhere at all.. all you have to do is just pick up the phone and call me, ok? Heck, just look at me now.. I won’t even let the ocean keep me from coming to you..”

Yunho nodded wordlessly but keep on holding on to the older man.

Jaejoong just let him and just keep on rubbing the other’s back consolingly.

And neither one of them noticed when the front door of the suite clicked open softly…..

A/N: Urgh.. I don't even know what the hell was this.. >.<

#ChangminHo Drabble Series #Perfectly-Imperfect #homin