One thing I’ve noticed is that identity really does depend on friends and family. Growing up with very few friends (really just 1 up to 7th grade and then I had only 3), I think it’s safe to say that my development didn’t really start until 9th grade. That’s when I started to have friends, granted these friendships didn’t last long, but they were friendships. I think that having these bonds, with such a diverse group of people is what really ignited my development as a person. I saw so many different personalities and beliefs and ideals all laid out in front of me and I just started to pick up on their habits. I started to piece together an identity for myself, I tried many things. I tried to date, and all four times failed, some less miserably than others. I tested how much I could trust my friends, and had it blow up in my face. I tested distance, to see how I could fair with never seeing one of my closest friends, this failed too. I tried so many things and so many of the crashed and burned, and I think this is where your identity comes from. I think your identity is built out of the failures in your life, and I think it’s the friendships where these failures occur. I feel like I’m rushing to develop before high school ends, but I shouldn’t. I started pretty late, logically speaking I should finish pretty late, but that should be okay. That’s life. I’m so grateful for all the people who have helped me learn, and yes that includes the ex who thought I’d never amount to anything. I’m so thankful for the people who took the time to talk with me and help me sort stuff out. I’m thankful for the people who broke my trust and left me on shaky ground for a while, in thankful for the people who have held on to my darkest secrets for years. I’m thankful for everyone who has been in my lfe, because without the realationships I’ve made I don’t think I would’ve been who I am today.
