101 Turtles ~ A Frazel Date
This was requested a long time ago on my main blog by @hunk-muffin (new URL and you didn’t tell me? I’m wounded.) Hope this is okay . . .
~Bunny K
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100 dates. Frank had taken Hazel on 100 dates exactly. They weren’t silly little things like sparring practice or bathing elephants (which some Camp Jupiter couples seemed to count as dates for some reason). These were proper dates, things like restaurants and movies and shopping trips (he had recently introduced Hazel to the concept of the credit card, which might have been a mistake on his part, but that’s another story), and Frank loved them. He loved her, his Hazel, and for that reason, he needed to make their 101st date a special one. He had to do something unexpected, something Hazel would adore. Something she’d never forget . . .
As it turned out, that wasn’t a very easy task. Hazel was just so perfect, and Frank was only human. If she were a goddess, he’d be the dirt beneath her sandals. Heck, she probably was a goddess and he just didn’t know it yet. But either way, she deserved perfection, and Frank intended to give her that. Naturally, he turned to something New Orleans-style first . . .
“What the heck are you trying to cook?”
Frank snapped around, sending a coated spoon flying right at the speaker . . . Jason. It hit him square in the forehead, and then landed on the ground. The contents of the pot it had been in now covered Jason’s face and the floor where the spoon had landed.
Jason grimaced as he touched a finger to his forehead. Whatever was on it was sticky.
“What is this?”
“Uh . . .” Frank shrugged slightly. “It’s supposed to be gumbo. For Hazel.”
Jason snorted. “Gumbo? Aren’t you Chinese?”
“Canadian,” Frank mumbled.
“Whatever. Point is you can’t cook gumbo.”
“Sure I can.”
“Can’t. This looks more like sludge to me.”
“Sludge gumbo then.”
“No. Just sludge.”
Frank sighed deeply before turning the stove off. He dumped the “sludge gumbo” down the sink drain before proceeding to clean up his mess. He was back at square A.
“What’s all this for anyway?” Jason asked as he handed Frank his new enemy (aka the wooden spoon). “I get that it’s for Hazel, but what’s the occasion? It’s not her birthday.”
Frank shook his head. “Our 101st date is coming up.”
Jason made a crooked smile. “You count?”
“You don’t?”
Jason winced. “Uh . . . no. But that doesn’t mean I care less than you do.”
“Uh huh.” Frank put the pot and spoon away. “I wanted to do something special for her,” he continued. “She deserves it.”
“I see you already tried the yummy route.”
“Yup.”
“And I see that already failed.”
“Yup.”
“So you need a new plan.”
“Yup.”
“Want some help?”
“Nope.” Frank took a note pad out of his back pocket and started flipping through it. “I have a few other ideas.”
“Do any of them involve spoons flying at my face?”
“As far as I can tell, no.”
“Then I give you full and complete support in your quest for the perfect 101st date.”
“Great, but you’re not allowed to help me. This is my girlfriend, my 101st date, my problem. Go calculate the number of dates you’ve been on with Piper or something. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it someday.”
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Jason didn’t help Frank at all after that. Plans two, three, four, and five all wound up with Frank getting either burned, cut, flung into a lake (courtesy of Percy), or dropped from a ridiculous height. He was starting to feel like a cartoon character. What next? A piano dropping from nowhere? Dynamite exploding in his hands? Daffy Duck showing up? Frank couldn’t be sure at that point. He needed inspiration. He needed . . . Hazel.
But no. He couldn’t let her know he was planning anything. It all had to remain a complete surprise . . .
“You’re such a turtle.”
Frank jumped in shock. Nico was standing behind him. That kid could creep even Hades out.
“Wh-what?” Frank gasped. “A turtle?”
Nico shrugged. “Hazel calls you her turtle sometimes. She says it’s because you’re kind of shelled-in and have a hard time expressing your feelings for her the way you really want to. I think it’s because you’re a slow thinker.”
Frank frowned. “Hey . . .”
“I’m just saying. I don’t think Hazel wants some amazing thing from you. I think she just wants you to be able to truly open up to her. To be her . . . what did she call you? Teddy bear in a turtle shell. Or something like that.”
“Frank, the shape-shifting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle from Canada.” That was Percy. He had no idea what Frank and Nico were talking about, but as long as he had the opportunity to make a reference to pizza-loving turtles, he was going to butt into the conversation.
“Percy, we’re having a serious talk here,” Frank sighed.
“Pizza-loving ninja turtles are serious,” Percy pointed out. “At least they are to me.”
“You don’t even know what we’re talking about.”
“Sure I do,” Percy said. “You’re going to shift into a ninja turtle for your 101st date! That’d be awesome!”
“You need to re-evaluate the term ‘romantic date’, Percy.”
“Oh come on! You know Hazel would be head-over-heels for a Leonardo or a Michelangelo!” He struck a ninja pose. “A Frankonardo.”
Frank snorted back a laugh. “No.”
Percy shrugged. “Turtles. Pizza. 101st date. You’ll figure something out.”
“I don’t even know if Hazel likes pizza.”
“If she says she doesn’t, she’s lying.”
“I don’t know if she likes turtles either.”
Nico was shaking his head at that point with irritation. “I’ve got to get out of here . . .”
“You go,” Frank said slowly. “I think I might have an idea . . . Percy, I need you.”
Percy saluted Frank sharply. “Yes sir, Frankonardo!”
“Stop.”
“Frankangelo!”
“Sounds like I’m related to Nico.”
“How about just The Zhang?”
“Percy, you watch too much TV . . .”
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Frank thought he was going to die because of Percy a couple times that day. That guy could be annoying. Frank hadn’t ever heard so much about pizza in his entire life . . . but Percy was a great help to him. His pizza talk was just something he’d have to tolerate.
“There you go,” Percy said after a while. He and Frank were standing by the ocean. They were surrounded by a small army of . . . 101 sea turtles.
“Do you think Hazel will like it?”
Percy made a crooked smile. “Of course! Who wouldn’t like to be surprised with an army of turtle ninjas?”
“You’re almost as crazy as Leo.”
“So I’ve been told. So I’ve been told.”
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Hazel was confused as Frank led her out to the beach later that evening. “You look nervous . . .”
Frank shrugged. “I’m fine.” He wasn’t. What if she didn’t like the date he’d planned? What if she called him crazy?
“Are you sure?”
“Completely.”
Hazel bit her lip. Frank was clearly the opposite of “completely sure.” And then she looked down and saw the baby sea turtle trying to climb onto her bare foot. She gasped. “IT’S SO CUTE! FRANK LOOK AT IT!” Hazel picked the baby turtle up and stared at it with shining eyes. “It looks like you.”
Frank raised an eyebrow. “It does?”
Hazel nodded. “See?” She stuck the turtle up in Frank’s face.
Frank stared at the turtle for a moment. He had to admit that it looked oddly similar to himself. Maybe it was the eyes . . .
“It’s so precious!” Hazel went on. “We can help it back to the ocean. Poor thing was going the wrong way.”
Frank couldn’t help but grin. Hazel was so caring . . . “We can definitely do that.”
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Finding one turtle was a surprise to Hazel. Finding 100 others waiting around the beach was a total shock.
“Whoa,” Hazel gasped. She looked down at the tiny turtle in her hands. “Are these all your family? How do you remember who all your brothers and sisters are?”
The turtle, of course, didn’t respond. Frank was thankful for that. No talking turtles meant that none of them were pizza-eating mutants either.
“I thought we could have dinner out here,” Frank explained. “Percy helped me set up a little picnic amongst the turtles.”
Hazel laughed. “That sounds perfect. And little Rosebud here can eat with us.”
Frank raised his eyebrows. “Rosebud?”
Hazel nodded. “I named our little friend. She’s a bitty budding rose.”
Frank made a crooked smile. Hazel was so adorable sometimes . . .
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Dinner went surprisingly well considering that there were 101 turtles surrounding the couple. It was odd, but Frank felt like the turtles knew to keep their distance a bit. Percy must have talked to them. The only one that got to share in the meal was bitty Rosebud, who munched on strawberries that Hazel provided.
“This is great,” Hazel said with a grin. “So many turtles . . . and they’re all so beautiful . . .”
“You really like it?” Frank asked. “I was worried I wouldn’t be able to make things good enough . . .”
“You worry too much. You don’t need to work so hard to impress me. I’m just glad I have you.”
Frank grinned. “And you have Rosebud now too.”
Hazel laughed. “Yes. I have you and Rosebud. I have a big teddy turtle and a bitty baby turtle.”
Frank made a small, crooked smile. “That’s right . . . that’s right . . .” And it was pretty much the best 101st date Frank could have asked for . . .