#personal poots

[rozabees]

i should update my bio and stuff since i’m at uni now and havent since like the start of the year LMAO

[rozabees]

okay so a small update!! I got my place at uni so I'll be off hiatus in a months time B)

[rozabees]

I wanted to do this on new years but I was too drunk and couldn’t find my ipod after screaming at the fireworks with suvi and my cousin lmfao (I don’t have a working smart phone atm rip my phone)

Happy (belated) New Year everyone! I hope you all  had a great start and your 2016′s are lovely and filled with good things. I had a great week leading up to the new year as @vadelmat visited <3 But I got sick on like the second day of them being here and it hasn’t gone away and may have gotten worse HAh but I kind of expected I’d get ill at somepoint

I’m hoping this year I achieve what I want and can be a little less over emotional and not leave stuff about me to the last minute like I’ve always done. Not to let my family bother me about certain things no matter how petty or serious it is. I want to take better care of myself and start up some way of exercising like start up biking (I said I’d do this like 2 years ago...). I want to speak up and just be someone I’m proud of and that my friends and family can be proud of too.

Even if I haven’t spoken to you in a long while, I still care, I just don’t find enough time to sit and tell everyone. You are wonderful people and I hope you’re okay, much love, Roz

[rozabees]

i cant believe out of all the undertale characters i ended up liking more than i should it ended up being mettaton ffs

[rozabees]

officially semi-hiatusing i should of probably done a this a while ago, hoping to be more active come halloween break with luck which isn’t too far away

things have been fixed financially, well to what it was like before it got messed up. but my health has took a shit dive (in brief; frequent migraines, blood pressure over 100 i wonder why :^) )

you’ll probably be more likely to catch me on my twitter if you use it (@fagihiko)

[rozabees]

money and the lack of, also mental health talk under cut also if i dont post for a few days queue is gone and i currently do not want to fill it so sorry if anyone actually cares orz

so a follow up from the other day where i recieved 3 letters from dwp who said they’ve taken me off the benefit.

tuesday i went and found someone in adult services to discuss the situation i was given option of seeing someone at the dole to find out what the hell happened, if i can reclaim etc and drop a course to bring my hours down. So I headed off to see someone at the dole, I waited an hour to be told the same. I was told I CAN reclaim but it’s best if I sort stuff with the college first (drop a course, get paperwork, then reapply).

I’m stuck waiting for college to get the ball waiting, I saw them earlier about the discussion and confirming of dropping a course. I really didn’t want to have to cause I want the UCAS points haha sadly sacrifices need to be made so I can actually not die or become homeless.

I’m only getting £10 from college a week which is only for the bus so I’m just kind of boned for a good fortnight since I can’t pay my dad £60 or have any money for myself (can’t buy new shoes - they’re falling apart and its starting to get damper) or personal hygiene stuff and I can’t expect dad to pay for it all lmao

I also booked a place at sheffield uni to go to a course open day so I don’t have money for the train tickets then or the trip I’ve been planning with Charles for ages for halloween... hopefully money is back up before mid October it’s only three weeks but its already been a week nearly with none so it’d be a month without any at that point, it doesn’t help my dads continually at my back with it “YOU NEED TO GET IT SORTED” well i’m trying my diddly darn hardest mate I don’t see you doing anything to help our already shit situation.

I’ve had several panic attacks since this has all happened I’ve relapsed so much I’ve been so stressed out and panicking so much my mental health has plummetted so much I’ve thought about self harm and suicide but it’s still early days and thankfully I’ve calmed down somewhat since it started but I’m still so on edge I don’t know which way my mood will turn. I’ve not been taking lunch with me from the lack of hunger it keeps on resulting in friends buying me food and forcing me to and I feel so bad about everything I don’t know what to do

[rozabees]

shit’s gone down. will update tomorrow or whenever after i have talked to people and found out more and see what i can do about this amazingly shitty situation

[rozabees]

full of cold even tho its down significantly from thursday couging so much im hurting my chest and back feels great to be back at college where i just get sick and it thrives to no end :’)