Not pokemon related
But does anyone have advice? Like okay, I like this girl, and in the real world I'm biologically a girl right? On here I portray myself as a dude for unknown reasons. But that's beside the point...so me and this girl had what you could say...a summer fling only...it all happened in one semester...not in the summer..some things were shared and well...we didn't really confirm anything. We felt the same way about each other and the only thing in the way was religion, which I of course fully respected because well...it's just the right thing to do y'know? Point is...as much as we tried to put what we had going on to rest, it seemed almost impossible until summer came...she explained to me how she doesn't talk to people over the summer and y'know I respected that too because hey, I'm not gonna force myself upon her. We agreed we would talk once school started again right? Come the first day, the only day I went to school before leaving for New York, nothing. But hey I just assumed we needed to let like a couple days go by before we started talking again right? I come back from New York and she still hasn't texted me, she had been watching my story and well...weeks went by and still nothing, I had her in 2 classes and ran into her in the halls a lot...I thought I had fucked up...right? I was too scared to talk to her because I thought she was mad at me, I didn't know why but I felt she was. Come some field trip in like what? End of October? So we've gone almost 2 months since school started not talking to each other and all of a sudden in lunch, she finally made the effort to talk to me, it may have been only a couple sentence exchanges but it meant the world to me, which meant she wasn't mad at me, but I was confused over why she waited so long...here I am dying of emotions trying to say hi to her everyday and I couldn't...but that day I felt so accomplished, but then we went another 2 weeks without talking and like...I had to take a quiz, coincidently (quite literally) she had to take the same quiz, and usually there's more than just people who need to retake or take a quiz but nope, it was just me and her, I was so nervous because we were gonna be put in a room alone together. What would I say? What does she think of me? Does she even feel anything for me anymore? Finally the teacher left and well, she offered to let me use her notes because I hadn't done shit in the class. And from there we kicked it off, we talked and talked and it was like I was back in the year before when me and her first had started talking. It felt so nice I was so happy...I was happy to at least be a friend to her...that's all I had been wanting up to that point...so come to now...we're now talking a lot more with each other again...and I want to tell her how I really feel...the thing is...she ships me with my best friend, and trust me, it sounds horrible but I could be married and if my best friend told me they had fallen in love with me and were like postive about it, I would divorce my current wife to be with her. But my best friend is straight and I'm not about forcing myself onto people, my best friend is aware about like... everything that happens with me and my life. Anyways back to the main point, this girl I like, I want to tell her how I feel, the only things holding me back are...she's in yearbook and her teacher just summoned me to be part of it, and I'm definitely gonna join, so I don't want things to be awkward between me and her, mainly because of the "what if" she doesn't feel the same, which is highly likely to happen...I'm scared of how she'll react, we have classes together and I don't know...I don't want to go back to not talking again, but I can't keep this inside of me either, I have to tell her, but her birthday is next week, and ugh...I don't know what to do...
