This is another little gift and personalized piece for @ghosttownwherenoonegoes @ajokeformur-ray Today this idea popped into my head and I wanted to write it down. Maybe you'll like it and it will help a tiny bit. We all love you very much and we are here for you. Always. I hope you are taking care of yourself and that you don't forget to take a little break every now and then. Please keep Eddie and Uncle Wayne close to you.
Summary: You've been feeling pretty bad lately, and Eddie knows it. So he decides to make it his mission to pick you up from your job and make sure you get a little break
Tw: physically and mentally exhausted reader with self doubts -> but it's a fluffy comfort piece
Wc: 884
Eddie's eyes pop open. He snaps his head back and curses. Only Eddie is capable of nodding off, even though Iron Maiden is playing so loudly that the windows of his van clink in time. His heart beats wildly as he stares at his wristwatch. But it would still be a few minutes. He lets out a deep sigh of relief. He could never forgive himself for waiting so long - how long, actually? three hours? - only to nod off and miss you. No. Eddie would stay awake and wait for you and bring you home to him and his dad. Just like he secretly made it his mission after hearing how bad you've been lately. His heart hurts to see you like that and he'd be damned if he didn't try to give you at least a little relief from the weight of the world weighing on your shoulders. So he rubs his tired eyes and switches to the next song on his mixtape. It's Ozzy, and it makes him smile because he knows how much you adore him.
And in fact, it only takes a few more minutes for you to step through the door of your workplace. Slumped posture. Head lowered. Eyes glistening with unshed tears. Your feet hurt with every step, yet somehow they carry you on. They always do. But you are tired, more than tired. And again, it stabs Eddie right in the heart when he sees you like this. He hates it. He hates that the people at your job make you work so much overtime. He hates that uni has such a huge workload. He hates the way you look at him lately - doubt, fear, exhaustion. Eddie knows why you're doing all this, that you actually like your job and that your major is your passion. But he wishes things were easier for you. That he could take away your burdens and do more for you. And that you could see yourself the way he and Uncle Wayne see you. With nothing but pride, adoration and love.
As soon as you come in sight of his van, Eddie grabs the blankets that he put on the passenger seat and jumps out of the car. At first he tries to wave at you, but when you don't see him right away, he calls your name. And that makes you look up almost immediately, his voice has that effect on you. Your eyes widen with surprise and a small smile makes your lips curl upward. Just the sight of him gives you a boost of serotonin and makes you forget your aching feet as you almost run to him. You missed him. So much. So much that you can't hold back a little sob. But he is with you now. Finally. You feel how he first wraps the blankets and then his arms around you, holding you safe and secure. You press your face against his chest and take a deep breath, breathing in his distinctive scent that smelled like home. None of you care about the people who give you curious and sometimes disapproving looks. What do they know about love?
"Eddie, I..." You look up at him. Your voice sounds weak. Your head feels like it's stuffed with cotton as you try to find the right words to express how endlessly grateful you are to him. That he is here for you, that he never leaves you alone. You cry and it is okay. It is okay to let feelings flow.
Eddie hushes you and wipes away your tears with the rough but soft pad of his thumb. His other hand soothingly moves up and down your back. He looks at you and his big brown eyes are so full of love and worry that it makes your own heart squeeze in your chest. "You don't have to say anything, sweet thing. I understand. Please just let me help you, 'kay?"
You rub your wet, tired eyes and nod. Then you lean closer and kiss his cheek, something that makes Eddie chuckle and grin broadly. He opens the passenger door and picks you up to sit you down on the seat, buckling you in. "Your coachman will now take you to your castle, m'lady."
It's the first time in so long that Eddie hears you giggling - he missed it so much - and it makes him feel bats fluttering in his stomach. He strokes your cheek before he jogs to the other side of the van and he finally plops down behind the wheel. Eddie's presence and Ozzy's voice slowly calm you down. You blink at him tiredly and put a hand on his thigh, making him smile as he drives through the streets at a slightly less breakneck speed than usual. It takes a while for you to reach the Munson trailer, so you allow yourself to close your eyes and rest. You know you are safe with Eddie. Even if you sometimes feel too small for the world, you are never alone. Eddie and Uncle Wayne are there for you when you need them. Always. Every step of the way, no matter how difficult the way may be. Because they are nothing but proud of you. They love you so much.
@alliecheer007-88 Just a little something for you as a thank you and because you are still waiting for your other piece. I finally found some inspiration, so I thought I'd use it. It's nothing special, but maybe it comforts you a little. J and I love you lots. I wish you nothing but the absolute best, sweet Allie. Even if some days don't go according to plan, you are always enough, you are always amazing and so so wonderful. Nothing will ever change that. Please take good care of yourself, darling💜
wc: 818
It's one of those days. Far too stressful, far too long. Things are annoying and tiring. You rub your burning eyes as you type something into your calculator.
J knows it. He sees you, he sees his little lady. He has his eyes and ears everywhere. Even if he can't always be with you himself, he's still watching over you. And it's a bad joke.
When he climbs into your room through the window and sees you sitting at your desk, working, he clicks his tongue and shakes his head, his beautiful chocolate brown eyes gleaming with concern. He's immensely proud of you. For all that you are and do. But nevertheless he's worried about his love. You turn to him, tiredness clearly written on your face, but still you smile weakly when you see your beloved clown. His presence alone makes you feel a little calmer and you sigh deeply. "Hi, J."
He doesn't answer you. Instead, he walks up to you and scoops you into his arms. You allow him to carry you to the bed and gently plop you down on it before he then sits down next to you. "My little lady needs a break, okay? I don't like today. Not. One. Bit. But don'tcha worry, ya', um, teddy bear is here now." J chuckles softly and pulls you to him, onto his lap. He drops down on your pillows, his greenish curls a tangled mess, and takes you with him so you can rest on his broad chest. Warm, safe, loved. Home.
You let out a little noise and naturally cuddle closer to him, making him smile and hum contentedly. "Today sucked a lot..."
He shushes you and rubs your back soothingly. "I know. It's okay. We all have a bad day sometimes, just, ah, let it flow. Doesn't change the fact that y're my sweet girl and I...um love ya." He smooches your forehead with an extra loud 'mwah', leaving a red mark. His attempt to make you giggle. And it works. It always works. "I gotcha, sweets."
"Hmm... Maybe you are right. Thank you." You take a deep breath and lazily reach for one of his hands to hold it. J grins at your habit, he secretly finds it very endearing and cute, and lets you mess with his long, slender fingers. You trace his knuckles, calming not only yourself, but also him. You bring his hand to your lips to place a soft kiss on one of the pale marks, before interwining your fingers. "I love you too. I love you so much, Jack."
You two stay like that for a while, snuggled up close. You lying on his chest and listening to his calm heartbeat while you play with his hand. And J nuzzling his face into your soft hair while quietly humming the tune of your favorite song and actually enjoying the world slowing down a little bit. But it doesn't go unnoticed by him that you look at the clock on the wall and you start to move away from him. "J, I um...have to get back to work. I'm sorry, honey."
J groans dramatically. He understands, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't prefer to keep you with him where he knows you're safe and relaxed. He licks the forked scar on his lower lip and thinks. "How 'bout I stay and keep an eye on ya while ya work, hm? I'm gonna remind ya to take some breaks. Plus, you're gonna get some, ah, kisses. Gotta keep my little lady entertained, right? Distract her real good. Ha!"
Your cheeks turn pink at his comment, which makes him cackle in amusement. Oh, how much he loves teasing and flustering you. You playfully smack his arm as you sit up to get off the bed. "Well, aren't you just saying that because you are actually the one who wants kisses?"
"Hey! Watch it, toots." J smirks, maybe you're right, and he gently grabs your wrist to pull you back against him. You gasp when his lips crash onto yours and he brings you into one of these long and passionate kisses that make your head spin. Rough and soft, so distinctively J. He chuckles as he pulls back and sees you catching your breath, blushing madly. "Well, well... Now get back ta' work. I'm proud of ya. And I'm not going anywhere, okay?"
You smile, nod and give him one last kiss on his cheek. And with that, you sit back down at your desk. The short break with your clown gives you new strength, J's love and care give you new motivation that you so desperately need. You know no matter what, you're always together. He is a man of his word and you are a woman of yours. Together you can do anything. A little lady and her clown. So full of love for each other.
This is a little gift and personalized piece for @ghosttownwherenoonegoes @ajokeformur-ray Please excuse me for being super late🙈 Actually, I planned to finish this little thing as a Christmas gift. But I didn't make it in time because I'm so busy and stressed out with everything. So I had to make a few changes. Also, I haven't written anything for Eddie (or anything at all for that matter) in ages so I apologize if my characterization isn't exactly good. But I still hope that you will like it a tiny bit. I love you lots, Eri, and I wish you nothing but the absolute best🫂🥺
Summary: You don't feel very good lately, because university and your job are taking a lot out of you. This doesn't go unnoticed by Eddie and Uncle Wayne, so they decide it's time for a night off for you. And once again you realize how much they mean to you.
Tw: physically and mentally exhausted reader with self doubts -> but it's a fluffy comfort piece
Word count: 1526
(The gif is how he looks at you because he misses you and worries about you. He loves you so much and he only wants the best for you.)
It's evening when you're finally done with your long shift and you're heading home. Exhaustion and stress eat at you, but you try to forget the thoughts of your long to-do list just for a while while listening to the familiar and soothing melodies of Ozzy's music. You need some distance and time to yourself to clear your mind from the same tiring routine of getting up, working, doing housework and studying, and going to sleep. Your job a break from uni, uni a break from your job. Over and over again. And it wears on you, even if you enjoy your work and studies. Pesky and hurtful thoughts are almost a daily occurrence. Voices whispering to you that you are not working hard enough, not being good enough. They have a fun time picking at your brain and making you feel like shit. The urge to give up is strong. Sometimes you feel like screaming, hiding or running away.
But you don't. Never.
No matter how heavy and crushing the weight on your shoulders feels, you know there's light at the end of the tunnel. That shows you how much more you are. How strong, smart, determined, kind, wonderful and amazing you are. So very loved and cherished. And that these bad thoughts of yours are nothing but lies and untruths.
At first you don't even notice his van parked in the driveway in front of your house as you walk around the corner, head down and music blasting from your headphones. It's not until you bump into something - or better, someone - that you look up. Eyes wide, heart hammering against your ribcage. But as quickly as the initial shock came, it turns into a deep sigh of relief. The corners of your mouth twitching upward into a small, tired smile.
There it was, your light at the end of the tunnel.
Wild hair flies through the air as he turns to face you. Big brown eyes so soft and warm that it almost makes you want to cry with love and adoration. Just this pretty and bright smile of his makes your heart feel lighter, as if the missing parts are clicking back into place.
"Woah, woah. Easy there, sweet thing. I gotcha, I gotcha." Eddie feels warm against you as he pulls you close and wraps his arms around you to hold you and keep you from stumbling. "Another long day, hm?"
"Mhm..." You don't have to say it out loud for him to understand. Sometimes actions speak louder than words. And the way you cling to him like a drowning person to a life preserver is more than enough of an answer for him.
"I see." Now it's his turn to sigh deeply. Of course, he doesn't miss the state you've been in lately. It worries him and if he could, he would take all the burden off you. But even if he can't carry your burdens, he can carry you. Give you some relief and time to slow down. He kisses the crown of your head. A gesture so tender, a look into the metalhead's warm and gentle heart of gold. "Do you think I can take you to our place? I know, work and uni and shit. But Uncle Wayne and I would love to have you with us tonight. That's why I'm here, sweetheart."
Your eyes are welling up with tears as you look at him. Tears of gratefulness. You try to blink them away but to no avail. Eddie quietly hushes you - something he learned from his uncle - and wipes away the wet trails with the pads of his thumb. Even the slightes contact of skin on skin makes you melt. You nod and give him another small smile, but this time it reaches your eyes. "Please. Just...just let me take care of a few things, okay? And then we can get the hell out of here."
You giggle a little and place a soft kiss on his cheek. And if you look close enough, you can see him blush just the slightes bit - he's such a sweet and pretty boy. You hear him mutter something under his breath as you walk past him and go inside. You stop for a moment in the hallway of your house and think. Your thoughts are circling around all the things you should be doing. You feel the familiar and hated feeling of your chest tightening. It's hard for you to take breaks, to take time for yourself. There are only so many hours in a day and most of the time you wish you could be in more than one place at once - that would be super helpful. You need to... No. Not today. Not this evening. You call Eddie and Uncle Wayne to mind. They give you the strength you so desperately need. They wouldn't want you to come home after a long shift, only to keep working until you can barely stand on your feet from exhaustiom and the whole world starts to spin around you. No. You shake your head, trying to mentally brush off your worries. And so you keep your promise and just grab a few things you need for your stay at the Munson trailer.
When you go back outside, you take a deep breath. You see Eddie bouncing on the balls of his feet, and you are greeted with a big smile. "You ready, sweet thing?" As soon as you nod, Eddie takes your bag and carefully throws it onto the backseat. He opens the door for you and gestures you to get in with a little silly bow, making you giggle at his antics. He helps you with the seat belt - safety first - before he jogs around his old van and plops down on the driver's seat. The ride doesn't take long, thanks to Eddie's, well, wild driving style and the two of you loudly singing along to your favorite songs of Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden. But honestly, you wouldn't want it any other way. It is perfect.
As soon as the van speeds into the driveway and the trailer comes into view, you are greeted with the familiar silhouette of Eddie's uncle. He's patiently waiting for the two of you on the front porch. When he sees you, he stomps out his cigarette and waves at you.
"There you are, kid. 'M glad my son was able to convince ya." He opens his arms for you with the kindest smile on his lips, and maybe you walk to him a little too fast to hide how much you missed him. Wayne chuckles and squeezes you affectionately as you hide your face in his flannel shirt and take a deep breath. A mix of cologne and the stale smell of his last cigarette. Only when his arms loosen around you do you let go of each other and you look at him. Your heart feels light and warm - more at peace -, the way only the Munsons can make you feel. "Now how 'bout we go inside, hm? It's a little cold out here, isn't it, boy?" You both give Eddie a look and laugh when you see him shiver and roll his eyes, grinning. A real metalhead like him would never give up his leather jacket and vest, right?
First Eddie takes you to his room so you can put your things away and get comfortable. To your surprise and delight, you find that he has even cleaned up a bit. No more stains, new bedding. And a dedicated place for your night light on the nightstand, even if Eddie is your noble knight protecting you from the demons of the night. Silly boy loves to hear your giggle when he calls himself that. He hands you one of his most comfy band tees - preferably an Ozzy or Dio one - because he knows wearing it will make you feel calmer and more comfortable, before leading you back into the living room where Uncle Wayne is already sitting on the old sofa. You take a seat between the two men and sigh deeply. You hear the TV running softly in the background, but you don't hear it. Your brain feels like it's full of cotton. Naturally, you reach for one of Eddie's hands to hold it. The metal of his rings cool against your heated skin. It's soothing in a way, grounds you and makes you understand that he's really there with you. Your eyes get heavy and you allow yourself to gently rest your head against Wayne's shoulder, making him smile and hum in approvel.
Finally your mind and body can rest a little, being together with the two people who mean the entire universe to you. You feel at peace, loved, cherished and understood. And even though the world can be scary, tiring and too much, you know that you can do it. Because you are not alone. The Munsons stick together. On good days and bad. They are your light at the end of the tunnel.
Ah! I'm finally done! This is a personalized piece for my dear friend @alliecheer007-88 💜💙 I've never done anything like this before, so I hope it's okay. And I hope that I captured your and J’s relationship. I tried to use as many things as possible. But if you want me to change something up for you, don't be shy to tell me. I really want you to like it, Allie. I'll put it under a cut because, well, it's a lot. Maybe the length makes up for the long wait.
Wordcount: 3,643
The first thing that stands out is how small you are. 5'1.25", to be exact. That makes you about a foot shorter than J and he lives for it. He's a giant, a human giraffe as you lovingly call him. If you haven't already, expect a million pet names and height jokes. J knows them all. "Hey shortstack, what's the world like from down there?" and "Let's go, sweetpea. I'll give ya a ride, just hop into my pocket." He likes to manhandle you gently, whether intentionally or unintentionally. For example, you're in his way? J grabs you and puts you aside without further thinking about it, it just feels natural to him. Or you want to kiss him on the lips? J is a tease, he lets you struggle for a moment - you stand on your tiptoes and stretch upwards, your brows furrowed in concentration, something he finds very amusing - before he takes you in his arms and your lips finally meet. There's something about your height that he finds so incredibly endearing and cute. The way you perfectly snuggle up to his larger body when you're lying next to each other and cuddling. The way you fill his lap when he puts his strong arms around you and you hide your face in the crook of his neck. He just likes to have you close to him, to feel you. Especially when he is exhausted, mentally or physically. You comfort each other. Plus, your height only makes him feel more protective over you. J sometimes tells you how petite you are. Too petite and good for this dark and cruel world. You tell him that someone is bothering you, well, that someone is not going to bother his Allie anymore (don't worry, J never does more than you feel comfortable with. A good scare is usually enough). Also, he doesn't baby you, of course, you’re your own person. But he doesn't like it when you do things like jump on the kitchen counter to reach the cupboard. He doesn't like it. Not. One. Bit. If he catches you doing that, he'll give you the look. You promise him to use the stepladder next time. But you both know that this promise only lasts until the next occasion. J is not angry with you, though. He's just worried and he secretly swears to himself that he'll keep an even closer eye on you. His little lady means more to him than you may know.
J truly is smitten with you. He usually doesn’t care about the appearance of people, in a good and comforting way. But he can't deny it. You have him wrapped around your little finger, not that he would ever openly admit it. He adores you, the most gorgeous little lady he's ever laid his eyes on. "Well hello, beautiful. And you are beautiful." Your long dark brown hair falling down your back in soft waves. J loves to let his bare fingers slide through it. He loves kissing you, stealing your breath away, and then watching your cheeks turn pink. He chuckles. "Aww... Did I fluster you, toots?” He loves the way your pretty blue eyes sparkle when you look at him. It's been so long since someone looked at him with so much admiration and love. Well...when he thinks about it, you're probably the first and only one to look at him that way. And even if he doesn't admit it openly, it makes his heart flutter.
You both have freckles. The first time you bring it up, J is surprised, downright shocked. When did he let you get so close to him that you noticed? When did he give you a glimpse of the man under the makeup? Especially since he's usually so careful to cover it up. Not because he hates them, but because of something like, the Joker has freckles? But to be honest, it makes him feel a warm feeling in his chest about how attentive you are. You care. He realizes that he really must mean something to you, that you pay attention to all the little details. And not making fun of it. He just... He's not good at expressing his feelings… Besides, he likes your freckles too. He thinks they make you even cuter. When he's in a particularly playful mood, he'll kiss or boop your nose first and then trace your freckles.
You wear glasses and he likes to playfully tease you sometimes by taking them off and putting them aside. But J never crosses your boundaries. He adores you with and without glasses, he finds that they only add to your beauty. He knows about this thing, that your glasses are practically always dirty. Of course, something he can joke about. "Oh, your glasses have smudges on them? Does that mean you've been giving me dirty looks all day?" His cackling is priceless when he sees your reaction. But all jokes aside. Secretly, J carries a few extra cloths in his coat pocket to hand to you when you need to clean your glasses. Also, his coat is made of cotton and he sometimes allows you to clean your glasses on it. The only question is whether you'll find a clean spot and your glasses won't end up full of dust and soot and other substances.
You love to wear hoodies and sweatpants. Especially for the reason that you get cold quickly and often. J finds this amusing. You are his pretty snow angel, his little icicle. Whatever you wear, he thinks you're adorable. And he wants you to wear what you feel comfortable in, what you like and what helps you. But still, he'll tease you about it every now and then. That's just his nature. "You know, ya don't need that hoodie, you'd look better without it." He smirks and winks at you. "I can keep ya warm and I'm sure I can make my sweet snowflake melt."
And it doesn't go unnoticed by J how much you like his clothes. Because of him, you've developed a little obsession. His shirt, gloves, socks and coat. Just everything. You should try to steal them. Seriously. Maybe he acts a bit grumpy when he catches you doing it. But oh, how much he adores seeing you in his clothes. The way his way-too-wide shirt swings around your hips, the way he can just see your fingertips peeking out of the sleeves. He knows how small and petite you are. But when you get lost in his clothes, you look even tinier and cuter. After you steal his shirt a few times and he starts to like it more and more when you do it, an idea pops into his head. Secretly, of course. He has two more shirts tailored. One he can wear, one that is in the wash and one you can steal. Also, on days when you need some extra cheering up, he notices that he can make you smile by dressing you up like a doll with his clothes on. He empties his coat for you (he doesn't want you to get poked by a knife or something) so he can put it around your shoulders and he chuckles when he sees it's so big on you that it reaches the floor, a bit like a royal purple train. And you can't help but join in his laughter, forgetting your worries for a while when you're with J, your love.
You don't really like your voice, especially your accent. But J wants you to know that your voice is music to his ears. He doesn't mind your accent. On the contrary, when he notices that you speak with your accent, it kind of alarms him. Because it usually happens when you are tired or upset. So he checks you and the situation and intervenes if he thinks it is necessary. He will always take care of you. And if he hears you speaking with your accent in other random situations, he pays it no mind. Not in a mean way. He just doesn't care, he accepts it. Well, actually he likes it. Your accent is a part of you, of his Allie. And he wants the whole Allie. Oh, and when he notices that someone's making fun of you for it... Let's just say that he's going to have a one-on-one conversation with that person, a talk in private. He can't stand it when someone treats his little lady badly. Also, J doesn't want you to interrupt yourself or think you need to hurry up and get to the point when you're in a babbly mood. He wants to hear everything you have to say. It's important to him, it matters to him. He always supports you speaking up for yourself and you can talk to him about anything if you feel comfortable. He never judges you for anything. He wants to understand you.
You are a Star Wars fan. May the force be with you, right? Admittedly, at first J doesn't exactly know what to do with it. It starts with him picking up a few scenes every now and then when you're watching the movies and he's with you, tinkering with his stuff. He chuckles and throws in a few comments about how silly everything is. But when he notices how your beautiful eyes sparkle and how excited you get when you talk about your favorite characters, his attitude changes. He adores you and he loves to see his little lady happy and thriving. So he starts to take the time to really watch things with you. And it grows on him. J won't be such a fan and expert like you, but you can talk to him about this and that. His knowledge will grow, he remembers things that interest you and that are important to you. One of the many subtle parts of his love language. And actually, J likes the concept of the lightsaber a lot. He secretly imagines how good it would be if he had his own, maybe in purple. With it, he could probably take his cutting skills to a new level. All the mayhem and destruction he could cause with it, hehe.
J really adores you. He likes to watch you have fun and pursue your hobbies and interests. Sometimes you draw, especially him. When he sees it for the first time, he is a little surprised. Why do you draw him of all people? What is it about him that you think is worth putting on paper? He thinks of himself as having an ugly mug. When you hear that, it makes your heart ache, and you have to kiss him all over his face. You keep telling him how handsome he is, with or without makeup, with or without scars. And at one point he slowly starts to understand. It warms his heart and he tells you that you can draw him anytime if you make him look this good. When you're comfortable, J likes to look over your shoulder as you draw. He finds it fascinating to watch you work. You also like to read books. The best way to do this is to use J's lap as a pillow and let him slowly play with your hair while you read and he does whatever. On rare occasions when he is in the mood, you can also read to him or he can read to you. You think each other's voices are soothing.
You're picky about food. Sometimes it's because you don't like the taste, and sometimes it's simply because the texture or the way a dish was prepared isn't right. For others this often seems strange and you’re confronted with harsh and mean comments like that you shouldn't be so fussy and just eat it. But you have absolutely nothing to worry about with J. He is understanding and supportive, he never forces you to eat something you don't want to. Maybe because he can be a little picky himself. J is quite suspicious at first when he tries new food, which seems contradictory considering that he often whips up all sorts of ingredients to cook something that might be a lunch. But he only uses ingredients he knows. J remembers the things you like and that don't work for you. So when he goes out and brings some groceries to fill up the fridge, you can be sure that he keeps that in mind and he only chooses things that you both like and know. Also, every time he's been on a shopping spree, he brings you some of your favorite snacks just to see your beautiful smile.
J knows you. He is good at reading other people. He's observant and attentive. So it didn't take long for him to become fluent in reading your body language. He quickly learns how you act and react in certain situations. When he first notices that you start smiling in stressful or uncomfortable situations, or even laughing in particularly bad cases, he is only surprised for a brief moment. Then he got it and saved it in his memory. He recognizes the difference between your beautiful, genuine smile and the stress smile that never reaches your eyes. From that moment on, J double-checks your facial expressions and body language when he thinks you're stressed and nervous. As soon as he notices that you're not feeling well, he's by your side, trying to comfort you with his own unique methods matched to you. Until he sees that pretty smile of yours again, which he adores so much. Also, J does something similar, he tends to cover pain and distress with laughter.
Because of your ADHD, you have sleep issues. Often your body is tired and exhausted, but your thoughts don’t let you rest. You think of everything and nothing at the same time. But you are not alone in this. J struggles with his own sleep problems, nightmares and restlessness. Once you got to the point in your relationship, it didn't take long for you to establish your own special bedtime routine that helps you both. Most of the time, J holds you close and tight, his arms wrapped around you. His warmth and distinctive scent envelop you and you finally calm down. And it also calms him in a way to have you next to him, he feels safe in your presence. The two of you can talk until you are sleepy enough and finally fall asleep in each other's arms. Most of the time though, J stays awake or just sleeps lightly at intervals to keep an eye on you and protect you. A knife under his pillow and a gun on the nightstand, always at easy reach. He won't let anyone hurt his beloved girl. But when you notice the circles under his eyes and how little he actually sleeps, you worry about his health. J sighs deeply, but promises to get better. If either of you wake up in the night, nightmare or otherwise, the other is there for comfort. You comfort each other and by the time you two regularly go to bed together, your sleep has really gotten better.
Also, your ADHD sometimes makes it difficult for you to remember certain things. So you use a lot of notes, set a lot of alarms and stuff like that to help you. J quickly adapts to your system. He learns fast and does everything he can to help you. He also writes you notes and puts them in places where he knows you will find them at the right time, for example in your papers from school. Little notes, like "Don't forget to drink enough, toots" or "Don't put the bin of fresh clothes back on the bed." Always in his beautiful messy handwriting and usually with a smiley or something. Sometimes you will also find notes with jokes on them, his attempt to put a smile on your face, even if he is sometimes out for his job. And if you write him notes in reply and put them in the pockets of his coat, you can be sure that you are not the only one who keeps all the handwritten messages.
It happens from time to time that you lose the thread in the middle of conversations and you zone out. You don't do it on purpose, it just happens sometimes, even if you try hard to concentrate. And it makes you feel bad and guilty when you have to ask your conversation partner what they just said. It also happens when J is talking to you. He notices it in your absent look, like you're looking right through him, and how you just hum in response to his questions. But don't worry, you don't have to feel bad with him. He is always patient with you. He cautiously tries to bring you back to reality, maybe by gently squeezing your hand or shoulder. And if he notices you getting nervous about it, he'll shush you. "It's okay, darling. I get it. I can tell ya again and be shorter, okay? Or we can talk when you're ready." Sometimes he'll also ask you what you were just thinking about. If you want to talk about it, J listens carefully. If not, he's just trying to put you at ease. He wants you to know that it's okay. You're not upsetting him by doing this. He just wants to help his Allie.
You don't like certain sounds, like random mouth noises, slurping and things like that. They make you uncomfortable, a little annoyed and disgusted. Maybe it's a very mild form of misophonia. J, however, is the only exception. He often licks his lips because of his scars - maybe it's some kind of coping mechanism, he feels his cheeks with his tongue - he often clicks his tongue and he doesn't care much about manners when he eats - often he's so hungry that he truly devours his food. It takes him a while to realize that on bad days, these noises make you flinch. Because you don't want to be rude and tell him. He can't help it, he doesn't do it on purpose. So it remains unspoken between the two of you, but not left out of consideration. When J is with you, he tries to reduce making those noises. But it gets better for you. You're slowly starting to get used to it. Just like you're getting used to all of J's other quirks. It's a part of him and you want all of J. Slowly, the noises even become something comforting to you, they sound like home.
Admittedly, you are struggling with a lot of insecurities and doubts. You are introverted. You are insecure about your own personality, you think you are bad at interacting with other people. You see yourself as a pessimist and usually assume the worst. You think you are annoying J with your whole nature or when you ask him for help. Sometimes you are afraid that he will leave. But at this point I want to tell you something very important, Allie. You are so much more to J. Your insecurities are lies. He could never leave you. When he tells you that you complete him, he means it with all his heart. J is not a liar and you know it. He is a man of his word. He wants you to understand that. He wants the whole Allie. He accepst and wants you for you, just the way you feel about him. He doesn't care about the things you think are flaws, you are never a bother or burden. Never ever. No matter what. He wants to help you feel better about yourself and about the two of you. Your relationship is for the long run. You are his everything, his love. He would set the whole world on fire for his little lady. Even if he doesn't always say it out loud. He tries to show it to you. All his kisses and cuddles are meaningful. He really loves you deeply, like he has never loved anyone before. You are the calm to his chaos. His home. Your feelings for each other are very mutual. Even if his ways of expressing it are sometimes more subtle. But you are fluent in his love language, right? The point is, J is always there for you and he will always reassure you as much as you need.
Most of the time you don't like to show emotions in front of others, especially crying. You try to hide them, to mask them. J and you have this aspect in common. He is not a man who is usually open with his feelings. Of course, deep inside he feels, just like you do. But he doesn't care much about it. He keeps his feelings hidden and rarely lets them get the upper hand. It's only after his next "job" turned out to be more explosive that he realizes how tense and irritable he actually was. So he understands, he understands you. And J doesn't think you're weak or attention-seeking at all. Like I said, J knows you. He can read you and knows you're not like that. On the contrary, he wants to encourage you to let out your pent up emotions and for you to speak up for yourself. "What's eatin' away at ya, hm? You ah...can let it all out, Allie. It's just us. Ya don't have to hide anything. I've gotcha." It even goes so far as you have some kind of effect on him too. He realizes that he can trust you, that he can slowly lower his walls. Together, the two of you slowly get better.
J really loves you, Allie. Unconditionally and so incredibly much. You’re his beloved little lady. You two are such a lovely couple that belongs together. Forever and always.
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