#personaru

[princessofpepperoni]

im pulling myself out of my sadness now. i got closure and thats all i need to move forward now . fuck crying everyday. some day i'll recieve the same love as i'll give and i can only look forward to that.

[princessofpepperoni]

I love vinesauce so much I'm so happy I went to TMG on saturday!! I was even recognized by the streamers bc I went last year 😭💕 I managed to give everyone (except GPM but I couldnt find him😢) letters and small prints!!💚 AND I GOT MY PICKLE I can't wait to talk with them again and give more gifts next year!!!! I love this community💚🍄 this pepperoni secret is so happy🍕

[princessofpepperoni]

hewwo

I came back because I like tagging art anyway you can follow me on twitter where I scream all the time

twitter:

pepperonigal || peppercatart (art)

instagram:

cattea.gal.hime (fashion) || princessofpepperoni (cosplay)

[insanity-is-contagious]

[princessofpepperoni]

i just want to be HAPPY

[princessofpepperoni]

need to put some thoughts together

everyday this week ive woken up crying thinking about everything ive failed at and everything im not good at. i dont feel good enough. i go around preaching love and accepting yourself and self care and would always support my friends who start beating themselves up, but i cant do that for myself.

i thought a few years ago i already had the self esteem and stability to say that i truly love myself and i will work on myself. i just feel really upset at myself and i *know* i can help myself, but its so hard. granted i was just hit with a bunch of shit all at once so its understandable that i cant think straight, but i want this hurt to stop already. im rly almost suicidal even though i dont want to die i just want things to end???

i already reached out to my doctor and im opening up to my friends despite all of this which let me know that i have support and i am loved. i just dont feel loved even though i know i am!!! its so stupid like why cant i get it through my thick skull that i am loved and accepted and good enough and i deserve happiness in all forms. 

i failed at a lot of things and i actual harbor so many regrets and a lot of bitterness, and its like im only now getting a wakeup call to how much ive messed up. my life isnt a swirling storm of depression but anxiety and paranoia in which i always feel im never good enough. its just coming up all at once now. i feel the need to apologize to everyone ive wronged even if its been long gone. and i noticed how my mistakes are still repeated in the future and i... i hate myself for that. i honestly need a call out post for myself.

this whole post is just a straight stream of consciousness. all i know all i can do is move forward, despite the hurt despite the bitterness despite everything. i just cant stay still i have to keep moving 

i just wish i could keep moving and not be hurting at the same time

ughhh tldr this sucks

[princessofpepperoni]

im convinced july just never is my month the past 3 years july has always had some shit come up

[princessofpepperoni]

tfw i have emotional pain its nanifests as physical too ugh