#pete screams

[thekidsare-not-alright]

BANG THE DOLDRUMSDFHDSKJGHDSKALJGHDSAKJLHGDSAKJLGHDSKJLAGHDSAGKJLDS

[vegasfights-blog]

bye suckers im skipping last period

[vegasfights-blog]

idk i think i mightve been tagged in this??? idk but yolo

name: leo [ short for leonardo and/or leonadis ]

nickname: uuuuuuuh idk

gender: bees?

height: 5'1 and a half

orientation: gay birom?? i think??

favorite color: lavender, lilac, any shade of light or pastel purple

time right now: 12:55 pm [ im at school nd reading throam for a grade ]

average hours of sleep: 3 to abt 6ish??

lucky number: 23, 42 or 69 [ wish i was kidding w the last one ]

last thing I googled: "brendon urie lavender hoodie” “average penis size for someone 5′1″ “how many days until christmas” i have r easons ok fight me

number of blankets: 4

favorite fictional character: pearl from su

favorite book: harry potter, throam, gray, simon vs the homo sapiens agenda, looking for alaska

favorite bands/artists: p!atd, halsey, fob, mcr, 21p, britney spears, the strokes, arctic monkeys,, uuuh yea idk

dream job: i wanna be in a band rly badly but idk id like to write too

what I am wearing right now: school uniform motherfuckers

i tag ur mum @brendolfurie @wintourstump @bedusseyy and anyone else who can/wants to idk

[vegasfights-blog]

i just wish people would understand where i get being toxic from because so many people think i’m doing it because i’m cruel or mean or just like that but i’m not. 

people don’t realize that i am not a fearless adult. i am fourteen years old. i am going to fuck up and do things that are considered problematic and toxic.

because i’m 14 and i have ptsd, did, bpd and a whole fucking list of things that make the world against me. so when i’m being toxic, it’s not because i fucking hate you or because i’m just like that. i literally cannot!! fucking!! help!! it!!

yeah, that might sound like a fucking scapegoat but i was abused for the first 8 or 9 years of my life. i didn’t have friends until i turned 13. because i didn’t have the positive attention or affection [unless you counted day-after care] i never understood what was toxic or mean behavior. i grew up in an environment where you got hurt and you let it happen or they hurt you worse, and then you “forget” about it later. i am still fucking learning how to think and act and respond like a “normal” person because of how much my abuse fucked me up.

i was adopted when i was about 2 or 3 by a first family who yelled at me and emotionally abused me as a fucking toddler. they abused a toddler. because i wasn’t enough, even as a young child. that fucked me up really badly.

then after they sent me back, i was adopted by another family with two other kids, one 18 months older and one 4 years older. i practically lived just to stay in their shadows, to make the family look good. i would flip out and scream and get scared so easily because of how much the first family hurt me. but this was worse - they emotionally hurt me because they ignored me. i didn’t have friends until i was 13 and they never did a thing. they didn’t care. i got bullied and i developed an ‘ED after the Incident when i was seven and they didn’t do a thing other than tell me to keep my head down. 

i moved in with my birth mom only this year and it’s taken me so long to come to terms with finally living with the woman who’s supposed to love me * ~ unconditionally * ~  but every time we speak or even make eye contact it’s like my brain is screaming. it’s screaming she left you she hates you everyone leaves you everyone hates you because it may as well be true. 

because of being adopted and having so little attention, i have always been terrified of people leaving me or abandoning me or being left alone. i am terrified of being forgotten or having people not be there for me. so i am constantly trying to push people away whilst also begging them not to leave. it’s a vicious cycle. i engage in a lot of power struggles due to did and bpd because i constantly feel like i need to fight to become the more powerful person because of being abused to the point of being lesser.

i’m not toxic.

i’m a kid.

leave me alone.

[vegasfights-blog]

friendly reminder

im gay

[vegasfights-blog]

mom: *is mean to me once*

me: brendon urie wouldn't hurt me this way

[vegasfights-blog]

ive never met ryan ross but i trust him

[vegasfights-blog]

someone needs to start sending me asks everyday reminding me im better off without fake ass hoes tbph