#bathroomselfie in my shrink's office bathroom after session. Afterwards, I went to a pharmacy to buy safety pins. I saw they had nude high waisted spanx so I grabbed a few different pairs. Still looking for safety pins. None. "Do you need anything else?" She said. "No thank you," I said, and walked out the door my arms wrapped around three pairs of spanx. Worth like $150. I knew what I was doing. Why would I do this? Because I think I can get away with it? Because I feel reckless? Because they were just there in between my hip and my forearm, like magazines or a baby, like something that belonged there. I thought I got away with it, too, even after teenager stopped me on the street "Excuse me miss? Did you pay for those?" Of course I acted like it was all a mistake "I didn't even know I had them!" and walked back to the store with him. I even bought *all* the spanx - put them on my credit card- to look less guilty. Can I blame this on cancer? Like in the movies when a person who gives no fucks suddenly steals a car? (Was that in Carol?) I mean, cancer is an adventure but I can't exactly say what that was all about. If I was going to psychoanalyze myself I would say that I was feeling like my shrink didn't care about me enough. Those are the exact words that passed through my head. Maybe I just thought I looked fucking #cancersexy and could get away with anything. That the skirt would blind anyone to my crime. Maybe I felt like #winonaryder ? Oh speaking of, #WTF #JohnnyDepp ? Hitting your wife? Not cool. Just stop violence against women. Just stop. I think I am going to get free once a week counseling from #CancerCare - I think I miiiight neeeeed it..... #fuckcancer #cancer #pettycrime #bald