Brittana fics tend to present a version of Santana that is the closest to how she is in canon, and SimpTana makes sense in that particular context. It's admittedly been a while since I've read Quinntana but the fics I've read tended to present a nurturing post-Beth side of Quinn (almost on the border of paternalistic). Honestly Pezberry is the least appealing because I have to suspend my disbelief that Santana would willingly simp over Rachel (sorry).
Each to their own, also that is the point of fanfic I guess to create something new. For me, people wouldn't have to warp canon too much to have Santana love Rachel. I don't think she'd need to be a simp to be true to a canon version of herself and also unabashedly be into Rachel.
Canon Santana already shows an astounding willingness to again and again "go after Rachel" in the sense that she constantly puts herself out there and tries to prove herself as a friend. And like, why would she do that for someone she doesn't genuinely, wholeheartedly like? The intensity of their relationship is just a stone's throw away from romantic, to me, and Santana already seems to want it quite desperately/earnestly. Honestly the biggest suspension of disbelief in Pezberry fics, again for me, tends to be their feelings being evenly matched because I just get this impression most of the time that Santana would be more in it than the other way around. Not to be that Pezberry angst person again but if I were to write a Glee "canon complaint" Pezberry midgame, it'd end with Rachel leaving Santana heartbroken. Not the other way around.
I mean again this is all just my pov but I think, in a way, Santana is already a simp for Rachel in canon just not romantically.
One thing I noticed and found somewhat intriguing is that in both episodes where Pezberry are at the height of their mutual hatred in season 2 (2x09/2x12), Rachel calls Santana dumb twice ('like you even know what that means'/'the only job you're going to have...') and both comments trigger a big reaction in Santana. I haven't thought about it until my most recent rewatch and now it's all I can think of, so I'm interested to know your thoughts.
Alright let's finally dive into this.
Season 2 Pezberry hostility is so fascinating to me. It's not just that Santana was cruel to Rachel, it's that Rachel actively dissed her, too. I talked about the pole line in 2x12 a few weeks back, should be in the pezberry asks tag maybe? I think it's interesting how you jump to the conclusion that Rachel is calling Santana dumb here. And that's not a judgment against you at all Anon, I just find it interesting that that's the implication for you. I think that's understandable because there's for sure a degree of degradation. Rachel goes for the jugular even though she was personally unprovoked here; she just jumps on the train of ND snapping back at Santana. And there's so much to unpack that I didn't cover last time, and I certainly won't now. I guess I will say, in terms of Rachel's comment being demeaning towards Santana, that crucially it is to elevate Rachel above her.
There's a theme of a simultaneous martyr but also a superiority complex with Glee's underdog narrative. To see what I mean look no further than Loser Like Me, an anthem all about this wish fulfillment of the bullied actually being smarter and more successful than the bullies. "You'll work for me, you'll wash my car," etc etc. There's a recurring theme of the complexes I mention manifesting through professions and the underdogs making it as big successful stars and the mean bullies being stuck as Lima losers who peaked in high school. That's the driving force behind a lot of the rhetoric, at least. And so I see Rachel's comment as an extension of this, of her wanting to feel superior to Santana because no matter in what role, Rachel will be on Broadway. Whereas with Santana, she's invoking this problematic and sexist idea of the devaluing of sex work, weaponizing it against a character mostly known for her sexuality and how she uses it. It's a commentary on appearances and flipping the narrative for Rachel, I think. So Santana's this hot (ex-)cheerleader notorious for getting around whereas Rachel is insecure about her appearance and Santana has explicitly targeted those insecurities many times in the past. And that's a common "not like other girls" tactic of weaponizing misogyny and devaluing more conventionally attractive girls by tying their worth entirely to their sexuality. There's also something very American about this ~meritocracy~ idea of Rachel relying on her talent for work and dissing Santana by implying she'll only ever be worth as much as her looks. And of course the very American capitalist idea of your job being the end all be all.
Wow that paragraph was quite the word salad, huh. I'm happy to continue dissecting that particular scene and line and I'll elaborate on any and all ideas if you want me to, but for now I'll just summarize and say that I think it's much more complex than Rachel simply implying Santana is dumb. But I think it's telling of our society (again nothing against you personally Anon) that the immediate connection between negatively calling someone a future sex worker and calling them dumb is made. Proves how effective Rachel was in degrading Santana with this one comment.
And then! Or, rather, beforehand in 2x09. So this is another scene worthy of a bigger deep dive because, once again, Rachel is quite unprovoked. If you rewatch it, it all just sort of spirals from Finchel being little shits to the Glee Club rightly calling them out. All Santana does is chime in to what Tina was saying in calling Finn out in particular. And I would say this is a more accurate example of what you were saying, Rachel calling Santana dumb. Such an unnecessarily loaded comeback, really, which is why I'll maintain that Santana was at least somewhat justified in this scene. Damn, I don't wanna digress too much but send word if you think we should break this down bit by bit haha.
So anyway. Rachel basically attacks Santana and attacks her intelligence, and of course Santana bites back. And bites back through the goddawful hookup revelation, no less, once again a sexuality thing. Put into this context, it's even less wonder Rachel chose those words later in 2x12.
What it all means? Well, I posit that both instances are Rachel trying to find a point of attack against Santana. The first in 2x09 I would say is about demeaning her intelligence, yes, because it's again a common stereotype and "not like other girls" tactic to go, well, she might be hot and popular but she's an airhead. Which Santana isn't, and I think Rachel has always known that, but she's desperate to fight back. Backfires spectacularly, of course. But then she has another chance and she uses it more precisely, hitting Santana much deeper. Rachel's first comment was more just annoying and Santana took offence but she had a joker up her sleeve that devastated Rachel far more than her comment did Santana. The second time around, Rachel touches on an actual insecurity that combines many sensitive points for Santana. I think the main reasoning behind why she chose these particular insults is just building on misogynistic tropes because what's a girl to do but fight fire with fire. Oh man, if that ain't Pezberry.
I also think Rachel takes a long while to really value Santana as a person, with somewhat good reason may I add - you know, all the vicious bullying. But something that has long fascinated me is that Rachel affords Quinn the benefit of the doubt almost always and it's the polar opposite of how she approaches Santana, almost as if in her head Rachel chose one bully to forgive and she projected all the remaining resentment onto another. But I guess that's yet another topic.
Those are a lot of thoughts and not very well organized, plus I'm sorry they're quite late, but hopefully worth the wait?
ryan murphy dressed as a genie shows up at your doorstep, gives you this choice: santana and rachel hookup in canon, but the scene is interspersed with unskipable deleted footage from the santana/finn hookup sequence from 1x15 - what do you do?
You know what Ryan Murphy genie, I say fuck it. Let's do it.
I can live with the consequences of my actions. I mean, look, it's not like Finn was an active participant in what was happening during Like a Virgin. Does the thought of Santana gyrating around him make me wanna puke, sure. And would such a scene inevitably lead to Rachel blowing up at Santana because the point of the montage would be that she never got over the Finntana hookup, I can only assume so. But hooking up is the healthiest thing Pezberry ever could have done so I'd put myself through that for their good. That's how much I love them.
No but for real I'm trying to think what the artistic vision behind that choice would be. I can only assume it'd be for Rachel's pov because things rarely center on Santana, or anyone else, when Rachel is there. And yeah Rachel fixating on her ex and Santana having had sex while she and Santana finally bang it out isn't pleasant by any means, and in Glee world it wouldn't lead to any productive conversations. Look at Quinntana's fate post-hookup. But like, yeah, I could survive that. It's not like it'd be the worst thing Glee ever did. And if we dared to focus on Santana's pov, it'd just be funny lmao like a comparison between her cringe comphet days and fucking the loser guy's ex-gf. What a glow-up.
so this is random, but it's bugged me for YEARS...do you have a theory as to why Santana doesn't retaliate when Rachel slaps her? ngl, it always just felt like the writers giving Lea a "badass" moment to me, but curious if you have a character-driven explanation for why this is basically the only time Santana doesn't hit back.
Tbh I think it's one of those cases where irl mattered more than the story? Like I'm sorry I can't help but feel like it just felt right for them to "give" that moment to Rachel and not have Santana retaliate. Damn I hate that slap so much haha hurts every part of me.
BUT as always, let's make this work on a story level. We know from Quinntana fights experience that Santana absolutely is the kind of gal to strike back immediately. At least with Quinn and in her fight with Lauren, she (in)famously doesn't think twice. And I could get into why Pezberry is different from Quinntana but I think a simpler explanation is that Santana's shocked. Forgive me for not rewatching the scene to verify, like I said it Hurts, but I think Santana's just a bit too shocked to slap Rachel back. It's not like the slap wasn't the inevitable crescendo of their fight and as Rachel is packing and Santana reaches the end of her rant, it's an entirely predictable climax. But I don't think Santana saw it coming. And, honestly? It shocks Rachel, too.
Santana is the kind of person who has more bark than bite and despite this, we saw her recklessly enter into physical fights before. I personally believe that Quinn would have wrecked her had Schue not shown up in 2x01 and Lauren left her with what I can only assume is a mild concussion. But they never get physical with Rachel except in PUC wanky even though there would have been opportunities to. I think that's because Rachel isn't the kind of person to initiate that and Santana always felt confident in her ability to win verbal fights against her. Rachel appreciates the drama of a good slap but she wouldn't hand one out unless she's really, really pissed off. It took Funny Girl for Rachel to be really, really pissed off at Santana. I think Santana expected a verbal throwdown and even got overconfident and thought she was winning as she said the final words of "you are short, you are awful, and that's never gonna change." She fully thought she'd have the last word and leave Rachel flabbergasted. Santana knows people and thought, after years of bullying, that there was nothing she could say to Rachel to elicit a reaction as visceral as that slap.
And yet.
So I think if we follow that logic, we can see why Santana's brain switched to freeze instead of fight. And then she gets the call about her audition and nothing was ever the same again. I actually really like the interpretation that @amazonworrier has of the slap in Crash World. No spoilers no spoilers, but the slap is framed as the exact turning point in the Pezberry relationship and I find that interesting. Their Rubicon. Mind, I'm one of those delusional people who think Pezberry could and did salvage their friendship after the slap but I think it's hard to deny that it did cause a shift. Because it was just that shocking.
I know this isn't the most satisfying answer as it is a very dissatisfying scene, if you ask me, but I think it sort of works. We'd expect Santana to slap Rachel back without thinking but the action itself threw her off so much that there was no time to even do that. Because then Rachel tells her to move out, then she gets the understudy gig and that's that. Alea iacta est.
Out of curiosity, then, how would you rank pezberry duets by queerness?
I'm so glad you asked! And so glad about your post about WSS the other day because it already gave me motivation to finally write down what I've been thinking about since November but this ask was that extra push. Answering took a couple of days because I really have been thinking about this for so long haha. Pezberry peeps? This one’s for you 😘
So as a bit of a preamble, I did originally want to take a more serious queer musicology look but writing ~proper~ things takes even more time than anticipated so this actual end result should only be taken with 48 to 56% seriousness. We’re just having fun pointing out how gay literally everything Pezberry do is. But that said, we’re still brining some queer theory into it for the funsies, which for the purposes of this post just means that we’re reading into the context and presentation of these duets to make a case for The Gays. Since Santana is canonically a lesbian, it won’t even be that much of a stretch. (Okay, but more seriously queer theory encompasses a lot, including the rejecting of binary gender and sexuality norms, fluid identities and all that good stuff. Media is a lot of fun when looked at in this way.)
Another disclaimer we get into it is a few words on diegesis because I need us to be on the same page. So Things, in this case music that exists within the actual story and is heard by characters is diegetic, whereas soundtrack that exists outside of the story’s internal narrative is non-diegetic. In or out of universe to put it simply. In Glee we have examples of both, the majority of the music, by nature of the show, being diegetic. The New Directions singing Don’t Stop Believin’ at Regionals is diegetic: they really are singing, everyone can hear them, and it’s even a plot point in this particular case. Now, this could actually be disputed because this isn’t strictly what non-diegetic means, but for simplicity’s sake in this already overcomplicated silly Pezberry duet ranking we’re gonna call fantasy sequences and songs not actually performed non-diegetic ones. So for example, Mercedes singing Bust Your Windows and vibing with the Cheerios in her imagination would be considered non-diegetic, because though it is happening on-screen and in her head, it’s not an actual performance within the show’s universe. The line between diegetic and non-diegetic gets murkier as Glee goes on but today we only care about eight songs anyway. I’ll get into why this matters to us with relevant songs.
Speaking of! Let’s finally get into it. Ranking Pezberry duets by how capital g Gay as in queer they are. To be clear, I think all can be read as at least a lil’ fruity so keep that in mind as we start at the bottom of our list. Listen, they’re all queer one way or another.
8. I Kissed a Girl
But OP! Really, the one literally about kissing a girl being so low? Well, yes. And no, it’s not my undying, pure hatred for the eponymous episode or that “it should have been a Brittana song” (Yikes) or anything. It’s that I Kissed a Girl is low-hanging fruit; so low, in fact, that it tips the scale into being “not all that gay”. The most obvious reason for this lies with the, to put it diplomatically, messy nature of the episode itself and the scene it’s in, as the whole thing is an incredibly half-assed #girlpower moment covered in the stink of the male gaze. How Glee fails miserably in this scene that was supposed to empower Santana and the girls’ support of her is a conversation for another day, but the context of the episode is not the only reason IKAG (the duet) ranks so low.
Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl has a... complicated history and it occupies a rather unique position within the queer community and queer readings. It’s been claimed, rejected and reclaimed time and time again and I actually encourage people to find whatever power they can in queer readings of media (queer theory hellooo) but it’s still a messy song presented in a messy context. Melina Pendulum has an interesting video on the topic that explores many aspects of the song, including the Pezberry Glee cover so I recommend checking that out.
After having rewatched bits of it I’m more inclined to cut IKAG the Pezberry cover some slack. After all, purely in-universe it is curious Rachel of all people would be the one to sing with Santana. Out of universe, we understand that they couldn’t be bothered to give her any role in The Outing, as an outspoken queer ally who probably should have decked her boyfriend had she been part of the story, so this will do. It fulfills the mandatory Lea Michele song requirement anyway so two birds one stone, zero narrative consequence or resonance - welcome to Glee season 3!
But round two of trying to put my anti-IKAG the episode bias aside, there is still a queer reading of the duet. And male gaze notwithstanding, it is Pezberry singing about at least some form of Sapphic interest and like I said I think there is space for claiming I Kissed a Girl as an actual queer song instead of the bait it is. That’s all the slack I can cut it today, though, so even do Santana and Rachel sound great and I love their cover out of context, it’s gonna have to contend with eighth place.
7. Be Okay
On a lot of days this is my favourite Pezberry duet, top 3 at least so it’s hard to put it so low. But the thing is, as fun and wonderful as it is as a performance I do think it lacks the kind of spark that makes Pezberry duets and indeed their whole dynamic so interesting to me. Looked at within the context of the story, that’s not a problem at all because Be Okay marks the end of their feud and the foundation of a new dynamic, one less explosive and perhaps more stable. It just so happens that the explosive nature of Pezberry is what makes them sexually charged in my eyes.
Still, Be Okay is not devoid of potential queerness. It is Pezberry making up after their feud, which read a lot like an actual bad breakup between bitches who never even dated. Be Okay makes their relationship less intense but it’s not only in their intensity where their fruitiness lies. The good vibes of the song and the contentedness with where they are and, given their complicated history, even the conveyed willingness to look to the future does give the idea that it’s Pezberry 2.0 (perhaps 3.0) that we’re seeing. It’s a celebration of what they have, so while not very radical or rich for convention-breaking interpretations, it is a song about them being willing to put the effort into their relationship, whatever the nature of that might be. It’s also them choosing the song and then performing it in front of all their friends, making it a public declaration of positive feelings. The lyrics aren’t too deep in terms of potential queerness or anything but they are fairly straightforward in what they’re saying: Pezberry are gonna be okay.
Overall I think the most convincing argument for Be Okay is that it does feel like making up after a bad breakup, but imo the “breakup” itself makes for a more compelling queer reading and this performance feels pretty mild by Pezberry standards. Then again, if we read it as them maturing past their differences and as a potential for a future relationship, it is pretty queer. And queer readings aren’t just about whether the characters are gay and in a relationship, because Pezberry canonically aren’t, plus Santana is a lesbian so we don’t need to make a case for her in that sense. But looking at performances through these lens is about seeing that transgressional and queer, and one (moi) could argue that there is something convention-breaking about Pezberry being even “just” friends in the first place. Anyway, moving on.
6. A Hard Day’s Night
Adorable hug aside, here’s where diegesis starts becoming relevant and the reason it’s in the bottom half. You see, this number is so low because it feels very jukebox-y. Not just in that, diegetically, the music literally is coming from a jukebox in the scene but the performance is contrived in that way. Pezberry are singing a Beatles song because the New Directions are having a Beatles week. They’re also singing waitresses now and Rachel wants to show off in front of the Funny Girl producers. Diegesis here also means that, because of these justifications in the story and them singing in-universe, it’s easier to dismiss the potential romantic/sexual and therefore queer undertones of the song.
What I mean by that is why I spent half the introduction explaining diegesis. If Santana and Rachel actually picked the song or, heaven forbid, just imagined singing it instead, we could read more into the lyrics as it would come across as more of a conscious - or subconscious! - choice. The way it is, with the jukebox nature of tribute episodes especially we just chalk all it up to the way Glee is. They’re singing this song because they’re singing this song, simple as that. And sure, the same could be said about all songs and even the one I’ll end up putting in first place, but like I said it’s that extra jukebox feel that gives me less queer vibes from A Hard Day’s Night.
Still, let’s not dismiss it entirely. Yes, Rachel is singing for unrelated reasons and Santana is singing because she’s also working there and a main character, but there’s still a queer reading to appreciate. A Hard Day’s Night as a song can be read quite suggestively and since Pezberry are actual roommates at this point in the story, lyrics like
When I'm home, everything seems to be right
When I'm home feeling you holding me tight
Tight, yeah!
and
But when I get home to you
I find the things that you do
Will make me feel alright
sure can be interpreted a certain way. The performance is capped off with the hug as seen above as well and generally marks the beginning of Pezberry’s season 5A closeness so the Vibes are there. Fun and kinda fruity and the whole “oh my god they were roommates” aspect of it can be elaborated on, but the jukebox nature does get points off from me. It feels less like Pezberry actively choosing to sing this song in particular and more like they’re just having fun, which is still valid and ground for gay vibes but it only takes A Hard’s Day Night so far.
5. We Found Love
These mid-range ones are quite interchangeable and coming to realize the ranking itself doesn’t matter as much as the reasonings, methinks, but anyway. We Found Love is curious in that I think this is the most random one to be a Pezberry duet. My counterargument for A Hard Day’s Night was that it’s a jukebox number performed by the two because they were the ones there, but the opposite is true for this one. The whole Glee Club was available and in the swimming pool to provide the soundtrack for Wemma’s engagement so, even though this wasn’t their first duet, it feel random to have Rachel and Santana sing it.
Normally when we think of ND group numbers that are actually just duets, it tends to be Finchel ones. Think the Pilot Don’t Stop Believin’ or Keep Holding On, among others. Rachel and Santana were part of the “help Will find a proposal song” project, yes, but only part of it. I suppose ignoring Tina and Mercedes is nothing new but there were other characters like Artie actively involved too and it’s not like Kevin McHale wouldn’t have also sounded great on the track. I mean, we can make it make sense from Doylist lens of course: Lea was just getting her usual singing feature fill and Naya was at this point on her way to becoming the second most prominent female voice of the season, and both characters were part of the storyline as previously mentioned so really just why not. I feel like that was the reasoning behind a lot of GCVs.
But pondering about the reasons aside, we do reach the diegesis point again where, if Rachel and Santana weren’t just singing this so their teacher could propose we could make more of a queer reading point. If they chose to sing a song with a repetitive lyrics that mostly just goes “we found love in a hopeless place” as a ~proper~ duet in, say season 5, or heck in place of Be Okay, we’d be having a different conversation. The way it is, We Found Love falls into the bottom half for that easy to dismiss quality. It primarily reads as a Wemma song rather than a Pezberry one. Rachel and Santana barely even appear in the same shot for the performance.
But you know, it’s still fifth because there’s a case to be made that Pezberry chose it themselves, or at least were chosen in-universe by Will/ND to sing it. The lyrics, taken out of the Wemma context do fit a romantic Pezberry AU and imo We Found Love overall has a stronger argument for being significant to them as characters than A Hard Day’s Night. But honestly I might change my mind about that by the time we get to end of this, like I said the ranking itself isn’t set in stone.
4. A Boy Like That/I Have a Love
When I clicked the answer button I didn’t realize this was going to be so high, as I believe I actually said it was mid-tier in reply to your post. Coming to think of it now, yeah it’s more like solid top half. What immediately strikes me about A Boy Like That is all the layers: the acting layer of Santana and Rachel playing Anita and Maria, the context of the many versions of West Side Story and how we could borrow from any number of these to make a case for a queer reading. So in my four months of thinking about this I wanted to but didn’t end up researching whether queer takes on the original text (and in this case, be that the musical or either of the movies) of West Side Story exist. I’m just going to assume there’s at least one queer theorist out there who looked at Maria and Anita’s dynamic through these lens.
Within Glee, we don’t see them to the entirety of West Side Story but crucially we do get this duet. And it’s a narratively important one, too, though not for Pezberry reasons. In the episode the performance is divided into two and first intercut in a signature Glee subtlety way with Sebastian’s introduction. A boy like that, be careful with a boy like that, get it? Good job Glee, good job. The Riverdale guy wrote this episode in case you were wondering. And then the second half is again intercut but with Tina counterarguing against the rest of the girls who are trying to convince Rachel not to sleep with Finn. I have more thoughts on the scene itself and Santana’s role but for the purposes of this already long ask, we’ll just consider Rachel’s dilemma a parallel to Maria’s undying love for Tony.
So we could easily use the “they’re acting” argument to dismiss this, just as we can dismiss A Hard Day’s Night as a jukebox performance and We Found Love as a Wemma set piece. But there are reasons why I’m ranking it relatively high, and I’ll be honest, one of them is just how Naya plays Santana playing Anita. There’s a genuine feeling of Santana/Anita not wanting Rachel/Maria to get with her guy, and because of that combination with the Glee girls scene there is a case to be made here, like in your post rachelberyy, that Santana doesn’t want Rachel to be with Finn. Yes, okay, again the characters are acting in a musical but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a reflection of how they actually feel - hello intercutting A Boy Like That with Sebastian’s intro what’s up. And this is very much a reading into things post and I’ve barely gone off the rails yet so I think it’s time. Santana was begging Rachel not to be with Finn 2k22.
No but really, it’s that West Side Story layer that simultaneously makes a case for a queer reading here but also makes it harder to argue for it, since they are just rehearsing for the school musical. I think this could have been more meaningful had Glee made Santana’s role as Anita a bigger part of the WSS episodes but other casting choices had drama and there was no question about Anita so I guess it makes sense they wouldn’t focus on it much. Without that deeper compare and contrast of the Glee characters with the WSS ones the queer case for A Boy Like That becomes weaker but by no means impossible. And again the layers of it make it more intriguing for me than previous ones where there’s less to play around with.
3. So Emotional
Went back and forth on the ranking of this but, despite being diegetic which we’ll get to, there’s tension here. The beginning of that juicy Pezberry spark that makes them so interesting to people in the first place. So Emotional is one with arguments and counterarguments. First, looking at diegesis and points that could be deducted, it is a song performed by the two of them for Glee Club. It’s also a tribute episode song like A Hard Day’s Night but I actually think this one stands on more solid grounds because Pezberry are still students themselves doing an assignment, instead of oh so randomly choosing the Beatles the same week ND are covering them.
Because of the context of an assignment and of Rachel and Santana clearly singing to their respective partners during the song, the relationship vibes are weakened but not entirely. In-universe, they still presumably decided on the song together and could have easily gone with any other Whitney Houston song, so choosing one that’s so charged is certainly, well, a Choice. Looking outside of the performance itself for this one as well, So Emotional also canonically marks the true beginning of a Pezberry friendship and is referred to as such. Although it’s chronologically their fourth duet, in many ways it’s threated as their first because it’s the first time Rachel and Santana sing together because they want to sing together. Not because of a musical, or a group number, or whatever IKAG really was in-universe, but because there’s a tribute week and they chose to do a song together.
In light of that, though we can acknowledge they direct the sexual/romantic feelings of the song towards their partners and perform as part of the club we can still use that information. Once again, it’s a Choice to go with So Emotional and there are lyrics in there that we could easily apply to their later dynamic; very charged, very emotional one could say. Far be it from me to say it was thinking ahead on the creators’ part and that wouldn’t matter, anyway, because authorial intent, as I’ll get to very soon, doesn’t matter to us when assessing just how gay Pezberry are during their duets. And So Emotional is just one of those where yes, we can recognize they’re not canoncially singing about each other but it still has the Vibes and still exists within the context of them growing closer.
If I want to be honest I should put it lower if we really were looking through a more academic queer lens because I think some performances I ranked lower would have better arguments. So Emotional doesn’t do much to challenge notions of heterosexuality, not outright and most of what it does is further establish, through the way the performance is filmed, that Brittana are the queer couple together here. But again why not go off the rails and suppose there were underlying feelings for each other here with Pezberry. There’s not much to support that in canon but it does establish a new dynamic between the two, much like Be Okay, and does so while being fruitier in my eyes. It’s that spark again which I’ll just take at face value for this and justify So Emotional in third place with it. Phew this is getting a bit messy let’s move on to the top two before I lose every reader who’s made it thus far lol.
2. Brave
Alright almost there, second place. So Brave is actually one of those Glee moments, like much of seasons 5 and 6 tbh, that I haven’t fully processed yet. Maybe I was too scarred by the feud that followed immediately after, but whatever it was I’d need to rewatch this whole storyline to be able to do this song justice. One day I will, and until then I’ll cut this section relatively short - that’s probably for the best lol.
So once again this is why I went on about diegesis. Because we don’t have the Wemma or assignment excuse here, this is a full on fantasy. Based on the camera work, though it is a duet we can infer it’s only happening in Santana’s mind. And that gives us so, so much more room to play with interpretations because fantasy songs like these are meant to very clearly reflect a character’s state of mind or complicated feelings they can’t express through regular dialogue. Should be, anyway. This is Glee season 5 so I’m a bit doubtful super extra care went into picking out each and every song but that’s not out problem, all we have is the end result. And the end result is what I can only describe as super gay.
First of all, Sara Bareilles herself has said this song was a love letter to a friend struggling with their coming out journey, so we already have the original song with a confirmed queer reading. In the Glee context, what I think they were going for is Santana’s complex feelings on her own disappointing career and watching Rachel thrive in the meantime, whom she’s grown to care for but has complex feelings about. But if they wanted to set up her audition and version of DROMP then I’m sorry, this scene just does not set the mood for it.
What it does set is the context that something queer this way comes. So you’re telling me Santana imagines singing this “it’s okay to come out, I wanna see you be brave” song with Rachel? Santana, the canon lesbian who’s had her own harsh struggles with her sexuality and coming out? And, in her mind, Rachel sings it with her? I’m sorry, what am I supposed to make of this again? It’s Santana trying to be brave about her career I guess but who even remembers what Funny Girl is when they have this whole sequence with a coming out (sorta) song.
Like I said, I don’t think I ever fully processed it but I hope I’m getting across how sus this is. Even if we consider that it’s actually only Santana, the already canon lesbian singing it, it’s still curious that she’d think of this of all songs as their fantasy duet. And even if she’s the only one with queer feelings here, that’s still a queer reading. And unlike with So Emotional, there’s no Brittany here for the feelings to be directed at. Yes, Santana is dating Dani here but let’s be honest Dani was barely more than a Demi Lovato cardboard cutout and Santana had a much more intense dynamic with Rachel. So yes, Brave is fertile ground for a queer reading and general gay vibes, and a good example of why non-diegetic songs can be read into much, much more.
1. Every Breath You Take
After all that talk about diegesis it just had to be, right? Every Breath You Take had to be number one, don’t wanna upset @amazonworrier. No but for real, this is the not so well hidden reason I’ve been wanting to write about their duets for a while. If there ever was a crown jewel of lowkey, or in Pezberry’s case highkey queercoded duets then Every Breath You Take has to be it.
Where to even start. What is this performance even? I can only assume it’s a shared fever dream induced by totally-not-a-breakup angst because surely they’re not actually singing their hearts out while rehearsing Funny Girl. And I can only assume, guess really, that the Glee peeps’ intention was to convey how pissed Rachel and Santana were and how they were keeping an eye on each other in the battle for Fanny. I guess. But did they really have to do the stalker song to establish that they’re feuding?
How it actually comes across to me is that here we have two people who really need to get a room but sadly they just stopped being roommates so now they’re living out elaborate and charged fantasies on a Broadway stage. Well not living out, I guess? Still. Sure, the fact they’re pissed and paranoid comes across but so does a level of sheer Gay that I can’t believe the producers didn’t notice. And I really don’t think it was intentional, I think they were purely going for a catfight here but because of everything prior and just the whole way this is filmed, it sure comes across as bitter exes still wanting to bang. Look at me finally getting to that point after 4,000 words of trying to find counterarguments to how gay Pezberry are in their duets.
Sure, you can have them sing
Every move you make
And every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you
and I’ll buy that they’re pissed at each other. But then you also have
Since you've gone, I've been lost without a trace
I dream at night, I can only see your face
I look around, but it's you I can't replace
I feel so cold, and I long for your embrace
I keep crying baby, baby, please
and now I’m wondering if this really is a bad breakup for bitches who never even dated - or did they? Watching this performance you’d think so.
And once again I want to emphasize that there’s no loophole for this one. Out of universe, sure I guess they wanted the stalker song and already had the rights since they were gonna use it in season 3 anyway. But this is supposed to be a reflection of how they feel, how they both feel, with no counterarguments against the lyrics like “oh it’s XY week” or “oh it’s someone else’s proposal”. No no, they fully had a shared fever dream where they sang all that and glared at each other and were in general peak Pezberry Extra™.
Every Breath You Take “wins”, in this sense, because I’d struggle to find a reading that isn’t at least a little bit queer. One that doesn’t imply greater feelings, greater hurt, greater longing. Oh, I’m sorry, was this supposed to be about how the hate each other now? Because their previous duets were already pretty gay but this one is just off the charts.
So. In conclusion.
Once again the ranking itself could change pretty easily. I’m not set on it as much as I wanted to highlight some queer readings of Pezberry songs and rant about Every Breath You Take as the ultimate winner of this imaginary competition. If you or anyone else made it this far, I hope you enjoyed this brain rot lol and got your Pezberry fill. Actually, doing this made me realize I could go more in-depth with each song’s lyrics and twisting it until we get fruity Pezberry so hmu lmao
I don't even ship Pezberry but I'm so glad Every Breath You Take was a Pezberry duet and not a Kurtbarfstian duet.
No hate to Kurtbastian girlies but I don’t know what I’d do without my life without Pezberry’s Every Breath You Take in it. I for one am thankful that the song was still technically up for grabs in season 5 and so the gayest possible duet was born. I do think Fox should release fully recorded songs tho and afaik the Kurtbastian version is one of those. And I think there are at least two fully recorded Naya songs that are sitting on a Fox server somewhere. Gimmeeeee ffs it’s been a decade just release the tapes I don’t even care if they make a shit ton of money in the process.
Here's a random question: What symbols/motifs/colors do you associate with; Pezberry, Quinntana, Faberry, and Brittana (and Quinntina maybe)
I really really love this question and sad I only get to answer it now but better late than never, let's go. These are more random associations than motifs but I promise I have an elaborate thought process behind each and every one.
Pezberry
Red, burning red. Fire & gasoline, which I know is a cliché or whatever and I use it a lot for them but if it fits, I sits. New York. Spotlight that blinds you when it's pitch-black and it suddenly turns on. Roses - red, of course. Intertwining fingers.
Quinntana
Red wine. Magenta? The sound of a slap echoing lmao. I'm sorry I'm trying to think of more but all that comes to mind is the entirety of I Do and the playlist I have in my head but that's hardly symbolism for anyone but me. Anyway Cornelia Street is their song.
Faberry
Pastel colours like a faded mint or light blue but warm colours too. Gold/amber. Bathrooms! Sunsets reflecting on the surface of water. No! Sunrises. Big bouquets of flowers. Girls Like Girls music video.
Brittana
Pink. And pinkies! Bright smiles that light up rooms. In fact I have this consistent association between smiles and sunlight, which leads to a very specific association I have for Brittana - like, untranslatable word specific. It's a gifset plan I have had for months so in the hopes that I'll eventually do it, I won't spoil it. Soft touches and lightly contrasting colours. Sunflowers? Sunflowers. Cats and apartments with bright city views. The choir room! Oh my god the choir room.
Quinntina
So unfortunately we mainly just have background moments for them so this is even more vibes-based than the previous ones. Dark blue, dyed hairs, a bit of that Bubbline goth and pink aesthetic - but you never know who is who.
37 - How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross?
Well they're the queens of crossing lines and going all in, soo. I have no doubt in my mind that Santana would go to the ends of the earth for all her partners, maybe especially if she was with Rachel just to prove herself. And Rachel was canonically willing to compromise on Funny Girl, of all things, to try and salvage their friendship. Granted, that was a misguided attempt. I see a lot of their attempts at grand gestures being misguided.
But also, while they'd be good at the grander things and sacrificing for one another, that's with serious things. With petty little domestic things they're stubborn af and won't budge. No, that shelf is Santana's. Disrupt Rachel's routine at your own peril.
In terms of lines they refuse to cross, well, they both have issues with comprehending boundaries and can be too intense to realize there are lines. So it stretches pretty far before they even consider that those lines exist.
44 - Are the comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for?
They go from zero to a hundred in terms of comfort. Living together forced them to coexist and even before anything remotely romantic could come to be, they lose any feelings of discomfort. Santana climbs across Rachel to get to the sofa. Rachel routinely invades Santana's personal space, too. You can't cohabitate with someone for months with only curtains serving as walls and not become comfortable.
But there are certain things they need their alone time for. I'm talking more creative and spiritually fulfilling stuff, like Rachel just needs to be alone to sing at times because even she needs to be away from the spotlight every now and then. And Santana writes, journalling or poetry or lyrics, and the thought of anyone being there as she writes those words down is utterly terrifying - cause, ya know, vulnerability.
Before they get together they have no problems getting ready in front of each other and doing their beauty routine but they become more self-conscious after a relationship blossoms. Santana as well as Rachel, but they get over that pretty quickly. They both realize how silly it is to want to keep they mystique of it all when they'd seen it all as plain old roommates. Basically even canon Kurtcheltana had no boundaries, not after Santana arrived.
