Darling Dirk dared to dance with Diggory one dark day when Defense Against the Dark Arts seemed too disparaging to deal with. He ducked out of class and dilly dallied to his dormitory. Distracted by the decadent paintings, he failed to notice the dashing Diggory come his way. Before he could dash away, Dirk found himself duped. Diggory planted a deep, dewy kiss on Dirk and darted off, declaring that Dirk didn't disappoint. -SS
... Dude, did Dirk just get kissed by Amos?
I'm cackling, though, you're much better at this than me, I've been really struggling with coming up with mine. Thank-you!!! :D
(Fun [AU] fact: in the future Dirk meets Amos' son
He also gets killed by him, but it's Christmas so you don't have to see that gif)