#phallo diary

[draayder]

ten years ago today I started HRT. tomorrow will be the 9 year anniversary of top surgery. and the day after that I'm getting phalloplasty

I truly feel so grateful I've been able to do all this. I love being me. I love being trans. I'm so happy I have friends and family and even internet strangers who support me and care for me, and that I live in a time where these medical miracles are available to me. I want them to be freely available to everyone!! and I hope one day they are

[draayder]

So far on this phallo journey I have read:

Moonflow by Bitter Karella

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters

The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas by Ursula K. Le Guin

The Willows by Algernon Blackwood

and who knows how many more by the time I get home!

[draayder]

I can say that at this exact moment with the swelling and lack of any ED my penis has the same texture as those like arcade prize slime tube/snake things

[draayder]

Phallo day 4+5

still making it through!

Yesterday was pretty chill. I didn't get a sponge bath so I feel gross but oh well. I watched some triple d and some twilight zone and today it's planet earth

I'm going to get out of bed and into a chair today, so that's exciting. If everything goes well I'll be released from the hospital tomorrow. I'm definitely ready to be out of here so I'm hoping my body cooperates

I do keep looking at my new cock and poking it and going damn! I've got a fat hog now! It's really awesome. I think I'll feel even better about it once I'm more recovered, I'm still too worried it's gonna abruptly die to get like crazy attached? A book i read as a kid had a polar bear who didn't name her cubs until they survived the first year and i feel like that about my penis rn

I made it into the chair! A little lightheaded and the catheter hurt but I made it! Nurse says walking is easier, so I'm looking forward to that. It was tough. I'm very weak rn lol

[draayder]

phallo day 16

progress updates! spoilers: it's real good

I had my first hand therapy appointment! I deeply impressed the physical therapist, I have basically no swelling in my hand which is EXTREMELY rare. I'm a freak and I'm not normal. I crushed all the hand exercise tasks and got out of a 45 minute appointment in about 10

healing has been going pretty awesome elsewhere too, the scab on my thigh is about 3/4 gone and the skin underneath looks good. I have a small bit of wound separation behind my nuts but that's very common and should heal without issue

My donor arm is healing ahead of schedule so they took the mepitel sleeve off a week early and I did my first shower with it and redressed it. It looks GNARLY but it's healing very well. I did immediately forget to put vaseline on it so I had to undo the wrap and rewrap it lol

My day to day has been pretty stable, mostly playing games or reading. My thigh itches so bad it's impossible to sleep recently so I've been knocking myself out with antihistamines which has worked wonderfully. I'm walking pretty well, I can make it a couple blocks including hills. I'm taking it day by day and I'm halfway through my stay here at quest house

AND I got a free penis cookie in celebration of my new penis :D

[draayder]

congrats on the phallo. do you have any big plans for it (like applying for mort gauges with it)

this is my big dumb penis with no grand aspirations towards financial gain. mostly I plan to jork it. and fuck the dick soap off course

[draayder]

I took a shower! 57 unique and off putting different smells have been annihilated. now only 4 remain in a weakened state

[draayder]

Phallo day 7

things are getting easier now

I'm walking around better after fiddling with the tape covering where my penrose drain was. It was pulling on my hair and making it so i could really stand fully upright without it hurting. Big relief to have identified and fixed that

I had an awful time trying to sleep on a flat bed, I swapped to the recliner at like 4 am and it was instantly so much better. Lesson learned

My clit is like cartoonishly swollen right now. Like literally 3x size or more. It's very sensitive and unhappy, probably because they took a nerve from it to hook into my dick, but that's normal and should resolve over time

I ordered some decent Chinese food and pretty good food chicken today so it's nice to eat bigger meals again. Yesterday Sam got me a vegetarian burrito that was like probably equal to the amount of food I'd eat in an entire day in the hospital. It was awesome. It had butternut squash

I've gotten pretty decent at navigating the bathroom without smushing my balls or clit or any other number of ways it could go badly. I'm a little sad my room doesn't have an attached bathroom but if someone sees my hobble my naked ass in there we literally got an intro spiel saying it would happen lol

I've been watching a lottttt of dropout, mostly smarty pants and crowd control. I also showed Sam the game changer you-lympics episode and it was a blast

I borrowed Stone Butch Blues for my next recovery book since I haven't actually read it, so I'm looking forward to that. I only took two walks today so I'll try to do more tomorrow, I'd just really like this scab to be gone so I can wear pants and not worry about getting goop on them 😌

Overall I'm doing really well and I'm just so grateful I was able to do this at all