Character Development - Part 14 - May
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Warning: Swearing
Word Count: 1176
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Dan was happy. He really was. Over the last couple of weeks, he’d become closer friends with Alex than ever. They didn’t even have any classes together, but he found them becoming one of his best friends. Every day before lunch, he’d wait at his classroom to see their bright, purple backpack bouncing down the hall to meet him, and they’d make their way to the cafeteria together. It seemed like they filled the void that Phil’s rejection left, just in their idiocy. Dan really needed that.
But Alex couldn’t fix anything. They couldn’t fix Phil still constantly screaming about his “bitches”, which there were now seven of. They couldn’t fix the fact that every time someone said something about Phil being gay he’d put on a high pitched voice like a rabid squirrel and go “I’m bi!” And they definitely couldn’t fix the war going on inside Dan’s own head.
It was about midway through the month of May when Dan had a realization. He thought back six years to second grade, which was one of the scariest times of his life. That was when he started feeling... different. He started liking this boy, but looking around he felt like that was dirty, like he wasn’t supposed to like boys. Of course, he grew into the ability to understand and accept his sexuality, but at the time it terrified him. And all this was because in second grade, he had his first crush. And that crush was on Phil.
He’d forgotten for so many years. Well, he hadn’t really forgotten; it just didn’t matter until then. He liked Phil all the way back in second grade, and now he was desperately in love with him. And that was when he got mad. Phil was the one that made him realize his sexuality, and Dan was the one that made Phil realize his. Dan liked him six years ago! He wasn’t going to let that slip away! He pulled his phone out of his pocket, determination written on his face as he shot a text to Louise.
It’s time to get scheming again. But this time, no subtlety. We’re telling him I like him.
Dan seemed to live two different lives for the final days of the school year. The first was with his friends at the lunch table, and the second was with Louise, trying to figure out what he could do about his crush on Phil. Usually he spent his days in the first and his nights in the second. One day, in late May, as the school year was drawing to a close, Alex wasn’t at school because they were sick, so the lunch table returned to its usual annoyance. “I don’t like Alex and Janice,” Phil said.
“Yeah, me neither,” Stacy chimed in, piping up for the first time in days.
“What? They’re some of my best friends!”
“Well we don’t like them, and we don’t want them sitting here.”
“Okay, I get it,” Dan said, anger starting to settle in. “They’re a bit crazy. But they’re really good friends of mine, and there’s only a week left in the school year, so they’re going to sit here whether you like it or not, got it?”
Stacy sighed, putting in an earbud. “Learn to put your real friends first, Dan.” was all she said.
Dan left the lunchroom concerned about his friend group that day. He loved Phil and Stacy; the three had been an inseparable trio for a year now. But he wasn’t going to kick Janice and Alex out; they were his best friends too. He knew Phil and Stacy weren’t exactly the most warmhearted people, but he didn’t know they so strongly disliked his other friends. Thankfully, there was only a week left of school.
But then again, there was only a week left of school.
Only a week left to tell Phil how he felt. Only a week left to make Louise do it.
We’re running out of time, Louise. Dan’s phone was on night mode, and the clock at the top of the screen read 12:03. Usually he didn’t sneak on his phone that late on school nights, but it was important. You need to tell him on the bus ride home tomorrow.
As usual, she gave the same excuse she’d been giving all week. I don’t know if I can get him to sit with me.
Just try, okay?
Fine. But it probably won’t happen.
She wasn’t wrong. They had the same conversation every night for the next week until they stood side by side in the band room on the second to last day of school. It was the last for Dan, since he was exempt and was skipping exam day. “You have to do it today.”
“Or tomorrow.”
“Yeah, sure, but I mean it. Today, okay?”
“Okay.”
Dan arrived home half an hour later and pulled his phone out, his thumbs moving like lightning to text Louise. Did you do it?
Nope. He didn’t sit with me.
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Tomorrow, okay. This is seriously our last chance, please man.
I’ll try.
Dan regretted not going to school on the last day very quickly. Yes, he enjoyed the alone time, but he had all summer for that. Meanwhile, the rest of his friends were having the time of their lives. His algebra class even had popsicles.
At lunch, Phil convinced Dan to FaceTime him. Apparently they couldn’t go one day without him at lunch. Dan was pleased to see that Alex and Janice were sitting with him and Stacy; it was a sigh of relief that they hadn’t pushed them away. They chatted for half an hour before the four of them went back to class and Dan went back to his relaxation. He really did wish he was there; they all seemed to be having so much fun on the last day. Then, around the time classes let out, he got a text from Stacy.
Phil hugged us goodbye!
No way. Phil hates hugs! They’re too intimate.
He did!
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I missed my only chance at ever getting to hug Phil?
Sorry, bro. Shoulda come to school.
Dan tossed his phone on his bed and sighed. At least he still had Louise. Around the time when he assumed she’d be getting home, he frantically texted.
Did you do it?
...No...
WHY NOT?
There were too many people around!
You should have done it anyway!
Sorry...
Dan left her on read and closed Snapchat, flinging his head back on his pillow. Dan had missed every opportunity he could with Phil. He missed a chance at a hug, he missed a chance to tell him how he felt before summer... He missed everything. And damnit, he already missed Phil. Dan loved summer break and the time off school, but the beginning of the break had already turned bittersweet, and he didn’t see it getting better any time soon. For yet another time in his over a year long adventure of liking Phil, Dan gave up.
