#philipiskewl

[labofideas]

Marks: the second part.

[labofideas]

Today I heard something hit the floor and bounce a few times. When I checked to see the source of the noise there was a green button lying by my feet. The button was exactly the same distinct muted green color as all the other buttons on the pair of chinos that I'm wearing, so I assumed that it popped off of my pants, but after checking several times there are no buttons missing, no possible places it could have come from.

[labofideas]

Thing my friends have said today —January 31

-"I bought carrots while I was home—well my mom bought them— and I didn't fucking bring them. Apparently I have high cholesterol, so…"

-"Yeah, all my Beatles records are really warped, but, like, they play like achamp."

-"I slept through Saturday, I didn't even have an excuse"

-"If I set it on the air conditioner it works."

-"Wow Luxembourg has the least citizens. Who fucking knew?" "What did Luxembourg ever do to you?" "Fuck Luxembourg."

-"I just feel more comfortable in Ravenclaw, why would it sort me into fucking Gryffindor?"

-"Old Testament Jewish Script"

-"Where the fuck is page two? Are you page two, sir? No you aren't, you're page three. What the fuck, man, where is page two?"

-"He just looks like he smelled something bad."

-"Or we could listen to the Beach Boys…"

-"Where did I put my phone?"

-"No, I grabbed his foot because I wasn't getting any attention."

-"I'm squinting so hard I can't really see."

-"Fuck the subjunctive." "I love the subjunctive."

-"The amount of Chris Prat on your wall is honestly impressive." "You should get some chunky, pre-evolution Chris Pratt up there."

-"This is a sick bass flute solo."

-"My password was fuckit420 but now it's 420blazeit."

-"My wifi is, like, turtle-humping slow."

-"Sir, what does this mean?" "I just don't know what he's talking about"

-"Yeah, it's a dot, not a fucking underscore. What the hell society."

-"Australopithecus aethiopicus just looks fucking stupid, just look at that sagittil crest"

-"They also have homo erectus."

-"I flung it at Liam and it just went into this crevice. I think is see it— no I just made it go further away."

-"I feel so attacked." "You should feel attacked."

-"Do you think since I'm 18 now, I can sign up to do porn in staples?" "I mean Target would be better." "What about Ikea?" "Somebody email pornhub for me."

-"I am the captain now."

-"Don't call my mom, she won't pick up, she's probably in bed."

-"I would do it if I weren't crippled"

-"Where is my cellphone? I want to act like I have a social life again."

-"I still want that one tapestry. There's no where for it to go now—but I still want it."

-"I tried to say society and my phone said diggity."