#philippa headcanon

[rowyndodendron]

Can you expand on the Geralt, Regis, and Philippa being autistic? I'm intrigued...

Yes friend. Yes I can. As it happens I’ve already talked about Phil at length here, but I got distracted by…Life before I could get to the boys. So I’ll do that now. Much like Phil’s this isn’t going to be very ordered….Or detailed, unfortunately, bc I can’t remember everything I wanted to say on the subjects, and I don’t have the spoons to go trawling through the books atm. 

This is all, also, entirely book based, because I’ve never played the games (I just occasionally reblog gifsets here bc a)- pretty, b)- CONTENT and c)- oh look nice visual representations of my children) but idk what’s going on there. 

Regis: 

Regis presents some potential vague problems with the autistic thing bc he’s not human…but as I’m not suggesting all higher vampires are automatically autistic, and because I love my dear awkward bean, I don’t really care and we’re pressing on with haste. 

-Okay, okay, the biggest/my favourite thing for this hc with Regis is his habit of infodumping/overexplaining EVERYTHING. He either just gets really into it/excited about Sharing His Knowledge, or else he can’t filter what of all the many things bouncing around in his brain are actually important (bc they are all important) so he just says everything meanwhile the hansa are all just ‘Regis pls we got the point ten minutes ago STOP TALKING’ And he knows he does this, and he’s tried so many times to get a hold on it and stop but it just…It’s not happening. 

-Regis having special interests in herbs/plants, particularly if they can be used for medicinal purposes…Or making moonshine. He’s had several lifetimes to Indulge this interest and he pretty much knows everything about everything. 

-He has a pretty distinctive pattern of speech. And I like the idea that his Extreme Authentic Regis-Flavoured Politeness that’s a fairly staple part of his character is something that’s developed over the years, first from a coping type mechanism bc the politer he was, the harder it was to accidentally say something wrong and offend someone, and eventually transitioned into an internal rule so this is now just the way he is/has to be. 

-Kind of a combination of the above point and the first: Regis explaining things in ways he thinks are very clear and explicit (while also maintaining the necessary politeness rules) but everyone around him is just ???? regis wut???? 

-Regis calling himself a coward when it comes to combat situations because he doesn’t know how else to explain the fact that he freezes up and panics in these situations (the dude basically cannot die, okay, this isn’t a mortality fear, but there’s something going on). The truth is, though, that battles are sensory hell, too much noise, too much feeling, too much visual stimulation too much and he can’t deal with it (sweet bean) 

-I like Regis being on the other end of the empathy spectrum to, say, Philippa, and being hyperempathetic (which I think fits him fairly well - I mean….The guy is an immensely powerful, centuries old higher vampire….and he spends his time chilling, making moonshine for passing strangers, and being a bloody barber surgeon and helping people with his vast wealth of Knowledge. And also the way he responds to, say, the girl in the village when he performs the whole fire miracle thing to save her, despite the fact it’ll expose him, because he just nope, not having this. And he feels things so deeply, he CARES so much, he’s such a good soul, this suits him well) 

-Okay but in contrast to that Regis is pretty fucking unflappable. He doesn’t really do big displays of emotion very well, and tends to approach most things with Logic. (See: that moment in LotL when Geralt is like ‘okay ppl we have a job we are LEAVING’ and the hansa just explodes into action and rushes off to hop to it. Meanwhile Regis sits there, chill as you please, just like…yes, okay Geralt, an explanation if you please, I require Reasons before I leap into action thank you very much) And he’s got that expected ‘comes across as pretty withdrawn/composed’ thing going on too.

Geralt: 

Geralt, like Regis, presents a few slightly thorny problems bc a lot of the things that read as traits for him are muddled up with the whole witcher mutations…but again…i Relate too much to care, and I’m too tired to get into a debate with myself concerning this, so onwards and upwards… 

-I feel like he’s somewhere in the middle of the empathy spectrum. Like you’ve got Phil who’s just…None and doesn’t give af, Regis that’s just like *feels everything so much and vibrates with it* and then Geralt’s in the middle where he….Can’t really read people’s emotions very well, but there’s also a fairly large heaping of compassionate empathy in there, in that he WANTS to help people he just…Doesn’t quite understand them very well? So he’s like…Trying His Best on the empathy front. (bless) 

-Geralt kind of going the opposite direction that Regis went with the talking/socialising thing. Where Regis is really polite/long-winded to kind of compensate and attempt to cover all bases, Geralt is just...To the point. Blunt. Says what he’s thinking/what he means. Doesn’t have time for anyone who does anything other than that. He gave up trying to riddle out manipulation/lies long ago. Either talk simply, or don’t talk at all. 

-Geralt repeatedly being like ‘what is this feeling I am experiencing?’ *prods it uncertainly* which has a name: alexithmiya, and is Great Fun btw. 

-Let’s be honest here, he’s really not the world’s biggest emoter. That isn’t to say that he doesn’t have emotions/doesn’t feel (ofc he does) he’s just really not very good at showing it. 

-Absolutely less than zero, well into negative figures here, interested in politics. There’s too much lying, too much manipulation, too many games, too many exhausting little factions and social rules and nuances to try and figure out and he is decidedly Too Old For This Shit. 

-Same vein: hates spies/spying. Can’t be doing this with all this under the table, betraying, two-faced bullshit. Wasn’t made for it, can’t be fucked with it, stop doing it, please and thank you. 

-Geralt transcending the typical autistic realms of same!clothes/same!food and heading into the territory of same!name: every horse I have ever, or will ever, own is called Roach. Nice and simple. 

-His witcher medallion ending up being a comfort object because of how constant/present it is. It’s a nice weight, and it probably doubles as a stim toy tbh because the spiky bits can get rubbed between fingers. 

-Geralt having very set Internal Rules/demonstrating black and white thinking. He’s very firm about these sorts of things in the games, things along the lines of not killing dragons/intelligent beasts etc, etc. But also his views on neutrality/not taking part/wanting to be removed from what’s happening (these do change slightly, but it takes a damn long time) 

-I can make an argument for Geralt being change resistant/struggling to adapt without too much trouble. He does the same thing day in day out and has done for years, and doesn’t seem in any great hurry to stop doing that. 

-Literally every speech Geralt makes to the hansa is just...Geralt. Child. Ur trying. But lead by action, okay? 

I could go on but...that’ll do for now. (also this took 16 years to answer and I apologise for that I hope your intrigue didn’t die in the intervening time D:) 

[rowyndodendron]

Autistic Philippa Eilhart Headcanons

As promised, the Phil Thoughts. Geralt and Regis to follow (I’ll link them here when they’re done!!) This isn’t really in any order...And isn’t very coherent...But I don’t much care. 

Philippa Eilhart is pretty fascinating, complex, and rich as a character even before you add this spice on top. I could write screeds and screeds of meta about her sexuality, and her morality, and the place/role she plays in the narrative but...I will focus myself on this.

We need more unapologetic ladies in fiction; and we need even more unapologetic autistic ladies in fiction. I think, way too often, autistic ladies get overlooked, because they get good at hiding their traits/covering them up because it’s expected for them to be nice, and quiet, and polite, and good at all things social. And I’m so beyond here for lady autistic characters being ‘fuck that’ and being exactly themselves, and really, there’s no female character I can easily think of capable of doing that better than Philippa Eilhart.

Especially when Philippa is already utterly unapologetic and unashamed of the way she is, and especially since a lot of that really lines up with autism. It doesn’t really take much of a stretch with this. Wait, I’ll make a list, I like lists, and it breaks this up a little, but okay let’s see:

-She’s...Not the best with Social Skills. She’s definitely intelligent, definitely capable of scheming, and plotting, and manipulating people for the sake of her own ends but she’s also...Quite blunt. Quite to the point. I’m also fairly sure I remember (though maybe I don’t) the way that she watches people, studies them, that and the fact she’s had 300 years to perfect her observings of people helps her make up a little, and learn their body language....But she’s not perfect. And she’s just...never quiet been able to perfect the expected social niceties (and, frankly, at the age she is, she’s probably too fucking tired to bother with them tbh. She doesn’t see the point in them, she never gets them right, why bother?) 

And there’s actually...Sometimes not a lot of subtlety with her? At least, not in her interactions with other people. She is, if memory serves, rather lacking in delicacy. She says what she thinks, she doesn’t mince her words, she simply...Is?

Philippa is so honest about her dishonesty that she almost comes full circle and becomes honest again.

‘"Decent and honorable?" "You must be joking." ‘

Which I’m associating here with autism both as a social skills thing, and a black and white thinking thing. It’s this...Delightful little contradiction within her? Because she is duplicitous, and she lies, and she manipulates...But she’s so...Upfront about it? And utterly apologetic about it, too. This is just...The way Phil’s world works. This is just who and what she is. No point trying to pretend otherwise, what’s the point in that?

-Again with the black and white thinking is her commitment and determination. Philippa is utterly relentless, and single-minded in her pursuit of her goals. Not only in terms of ruthlessness, and the willingness to do whatever she deems necessary, but just her dedication to her goal is pretty admirable. I’m pretty sure the world could end, and leave her the sole survivor, and she’d just keep battling on in her defence of magic, it’s interesting.  

-And speaking of interesting, magic can definitely be a special interest for Phil. Her dedication to it, the depth of her knowledge, how skilled she is (the fact that she’s one of few to have mastered polymorphy, for example) are all indicative of an obsessive interest.

-I think Phil gets characterised as a character without morals quite a lot. Which I understand, I do. But I also think that she...very strictly follows Rules. They’re just....her rules. Her own personal, internal rules. The rest of the world can go fuck itself, but certain things have to work a certain way. She struggle to see the merit in/accept worldviews that don’t line up with hers. I also think that she has very strict morals within herself. I think she has things that she believes are right, and things that she believes are wrong, and I think that’s something that she will never compromise. It’s that adherence to rules, as well as rigid thinking, which is quite interesting.

-Phil’s intensity is pretty indicative of autism as well, I think. Philippa, I think, is a character that feels things very deeply. She has, as I’ve said, very strong feelings concerning magic, and her idea of how the world should work. But on an emotional level, too. More than one of the characters, and Phil herself, I believe, have commented on her restlessness, her desires, the intensity of her feelings, and the things it can drive her to do.  And also, that...Itch that she gets, the desire to get out and Do something, just reminds me of overstimulation tbh. So there’s that.

-But on the surface, she comes off as cold, and indifferent. And I can make a case for her being low-empathy as a part of this based on the way she reacts to other people (which is nuanced, and complex, and is something I could write an entire other piece of meta on itself, but...we’ll not go there rn) But I think that Phil...Doesn’t show that care for other people, and she doesn’t really let her emotions show all that much, either. She comes off as this ice queen, but beneath the surface we know that it’s a different story (which is a really interesting little contradiction to consider, even outside oft his headcanon), but, yeah.

-And on the subject of emotions and cold indifference, I think her decision making process is interesting too. Because it almost always revolves around logic. Whatever her emotions dictate, she typically makes judgements based on practical reasons, rather than emotional ones. Her emotions are strong, and are intense, but when it comes down to it, she’s ruled by her head. Almost too much.

I think a good example of this is the conversation she has with Yennefer about redeeming her in Geralt’s eyes. Yennefer’s plea is one that comes purely from a place of sentiment, and emotion. Philippa’s answer is one that comes purely from logic, and a careful, thought-through examination of the practical consequences of her action.

Philippa comes across as cold, and cruel in that moment, because Yennefer is so desperate, and her request seems so easy to grant, but that is 100% not Phil’s motivation there. She is not doing this to be cruel, she’s not doing this to hurt Yen, or Geralt, or anyone. She’s doing this because it doesn’t make sense.

(And it would also have been easy here to lie to Yennefer, especially with Triss watching, and promise her that she’d do what she’s asking, to make sure they part on good terms, that’s the calculating, manipulative thing to do here. But Phil doesn’t do it. It’s again that strange, unapologetic honesty that she has, and I think it’s interesting too, because it would have been easy to lie, would have been ‘smarter’ to lie, might even have suited her purposes better to just lie, and tell Yennefer what she wants to hear. But she doesn’t. And that’s...really fucking interesting, from my pov anyway)

But yes, Phil’s entire decision making process there is based on logic. She is practical. She is pragmatic, above all.

-Her planning, too. There’s always something ticking away in the back of her mind. She’s always thinking about things, always picking at the details, always tugging at threads, always plotting, and planning every little thing. Which I can quite easily see being a habit. I think she probably orchestrates her breakfast in the same way she’d orchestrate an assassination. It’s just the way that her mind works.

-Okay, lighter/less canon related/’ur just making things up u like now, lauren, aren’t u?’ ‘yep’  

-Phil hating flying when it’s raining because the feeling of her wet feathers is Sensory Hell.  

-but equally, Phil loving flying more than just about anything else, especially when she’s stressed, because it’s such a nice, calming stim.

-Phil chilling in owl form quite a lot when she gets overstimulated because it’s so much easier to deal with (esp if she’s non-verbal, bc no-one demands that an owl start talking to them, and that is a blessing)

-Phil having a deep guilty pleasure of having her feathers stroked because it is The Best (all who know this are sworn to secrecy about it)

-Phil being hypersensitive to touch, and exceedingly picky about who she allows touch her, when, and where. People 100% respecting Phil’s boundaries on this bc they’re not Dicks.  

-Phil being hypersensitive to certain sounds as well, and getting extremely short-tempered, irritable, and snappish when overstimulated. Anyone who spends any amount of time around her starts recognising this, and doing their best to minimise the noises that are bothering her so much.

-Phil definitely likes deep pressure, and is just kind of like ‘lay on me’ @ all of her partners at any given moment. Especially when she’s stressed (which is...almost always tbh, even if she doesn’t show it)

-okay this one is my fav, Indulge Me: most of the sorceresses were sent to Aretuza, if I remember, bc they had some kind of physical deformity which the sorceresses ‘corrected’ when they took them in (I am not going to discuss the wisdom of this, bc it’s not really my place, but lays the groundwork for this, so I’ll mention it briefly)

We don’t really know what Phil was sent off for but I kind of like the idea of it being bc of her autism. HEAR ME OUT.

So her family take her to Aretuza and are just....She’s weird, okay, there’s something wrong with her, have her if you want, fix her if you can, kind of thing. And smol!Phil is not oblivious to this. Smol!Phil knows she is different. Smol!Phil knows she is ‘weird’ to use her mother’s favourite phrase. Smol!Phil understands she’s being sent to this place so she can be made normal and ‘fixed’.

Smol!Phil trains at the academy with the others, and never feels any different. No-one ever uses spells, or potions, or anything to try and fix her. One day, she decides to talk to Rita about it. She pulls her aside, and asks her in that way of hers (I can see Phil being such a serious child. So intense and intense, like she’s got the wisdom she has at 300 at the age of 11) and just straight up asks Rita why she doesn’t feel any different. Her family sent her here so they could fix her, make her normal, stop her being the way she is, but she doesn’t feel any different at all. Why isn’t it working?

Rita gets very indignant, and angry, that smol!Phil has been led to think these things, and very firmly informs her that they cannot fix her. There is nothing to fix, there is nothing wrong with her. This is just who she is. 

And that’s the end of that.

Autistic Philippa Eilhart.