#phoenicity

[magicaleggplant]

I heard the news about Shoma's programs and my first thought was "is eggplant okay"

THANKS BRUH...thanks...for thinking of me...though it’s kind of sad at the same time because it means my suffering at the hands of shoma’s life choices must be getting notorious at this point

[magicaleggplant]

Clearly what we need to do is to bring back fours so Yu/Peng/Jin/Jin can be champions together

best argument for #FOURS i’ve ever heard

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

I know you do AU speculation, so I wondered: what happens if Jaime never joined the kingsguard? Like, I don't know, he's married or betrothed to Lysa or whoever. What are the ramifications?

I do what ifs / alternate histories only if I can see a path. If there are too many variables/branches or it seems way too unlikely to me, I can’t work with it. Also if the change depends on or greatly affects military strategy, that is so very much not my bailiwick, so I’m no good there either.

For this one, while the presence of Tywin as Hand could make many potential changes to the course of Robert’s Rebellion (which I cannot predict, because military), the greatest change is that Jaime is not with Aerys while he’s plotting the destruction of King’s Landing by wildfire. Therefore there is no one to stop the king and the alchemists, and half a million people die at the climax of the rebellion. After that, there are far too many unpredictable variables, so I’m afraid I can’t do a proper AU for you here. Sorry.

[mnemehoshiko]

I was full of apologies for not emailing and a list of excuses and I return to force tentacle sex. -Phoe

1) …EMAIL ME CHILD

2) I…..LITERALLY HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR THE OTHER BEYOND….THE INTERNET HAS MADE FAR WORSE THINGS AND THE TENTACLES ARE INVISIBLE. …LIKE THE FORCE

[mnemehoshiko]

Mneme why did I decide to wash my hair at 10 pm why do I make the Worst life decisions(email is coming I swear!)

it is due to the Struggle(TM) and like the pain that OTHER PEOPLE can wash their hair and not take a half day to do it. -_-

(ahhhh I AM EXCITED THEN)

[mnemehoshiko]

*hi fives* Hey there fellow Mathcounts Kid! I made it as far as Nationals one time but I didn't get near the finals, sadly.(Yes, yes, I will email)-Phoenicity

THE HIGHEST OF FIVES

AHHHH I’M SIMULTANEOUSLY HAPPY AND AMAZING JEALOUSSSSS (Yes, you should email BUT I UNDERSTAND BEING BUSY AS WELL but like EMAIL)

[mnemehoshiko]

Mneme, lbr here. If you were in a position where Oscar Isaac would offer to embrace you, YOU WOULD NOT SAY NO.

...I....cannot....disagree....with that....statement...

[mnemehoshiko]

Preach to the choir about how lovely Marriage of Convenience is.-Phoenicity

YOU SHOULD USE YOUR TUMBLR FOR ONCE OR EMAIL ME /MESSAGE ME CHILD!!!

*COUGH* WHERE WERE WE? AH YES,

MAWAGE. MAWAGE IS WOT BWINGS US TOGEDER TOODAY. MAWAGE, THAT BLESSED AWANGMENT, THAT DWEAM WIFIN A DWEAM!!!!!!!*COUGH*

ANYWAY, MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE OR OMG I LOVE THIS TROPE!!!

MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE IS JUST SO SO HILARIOUS AND ENDEARING TO MEEEEE???? YOU HAVE (USUALLY) TWO PEOPLE WHO FOR SOME SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES ARE LIKE WELP I (PERSON A) HAVE A PROBLEM THAT CAN ONLY BE SOLVED VIA ~MARRIAGE~ AND SADLY IT MUST (USUALLY) BE OF THE PERMANENT VARIETY AND THUS I/YOU/WE HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU (PERSON B) ARE THE ANSWER/NECESSARY PARTY NEEDED FOR THIS PROBLEM TO BE SOLVED!!! AND PERSON B IS LIKE WELP I GUESS I GOTTA??? YES, MARRIAGE IS TOTALLY THE ANSWER. ENTERING INTO A PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU (PERSON A) IS THE ANSWER TO THE PROBLEM BECAUSE MARRIAGE. BUT OF COURSE BOTH PARTIES SWEAR THAT FEELINGS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS AND IT’S STRICTLY A BUSINESS ARRANGEMENT!!!! SURE JAN. SUREEEEEE

AND THEY’RE LIKE “OMG I AM NOW MARRIED TO THEM?!??!” WHICH LEADS TO 

A) LIVING IN CLOSE QUARTERS WITH SAID SPOUSE OR

B) PERSON B NOT WANTING THEM TO FEEL ~CONSTRAINED~ AND LIKE WANTING THEM TO HAVE THEIR SPACE AND THUS LIKE NOT TRYING TO CROWD THEM BUT LIKE IN BOTH CASES THEY STILL HAVE TO BE LIKE ~DOMESTIC~

LIKE 

1) SHARING MEALS TOGETHER.

2) HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH EACH OTHER BECAUSE LIKE “WELP WE’RE MARRIED AND I JUST LEARNED ABOUT YOUR MIDDLE NAME YESTERDAY TELL ME MOAR~”

3) PERSON A/B REALIZING THAT PERSON B/A IS AN INTERESTING PERSON?

4) INTERACTING THE OTHERS AS A COUPLE BECAUSE OMG WE’RE MARRIED

5) BUYING FURNITURE TOGETHER BECAUSE ~MARRIED~

6) DESIGNING YOUR JOINT LIVING SPACE TOGETHER BECAUSE MARRIED

7) HAVING DEEP OPINIONS ABOUT THE OTHERS TASTES IN MUSIC AND THE OTHER BEING LIKE WELP YOU MARRIED ME GOTTA DEAL WITH IT~~

8) ~AWKWARDLY SHARING A ROOM AT AN INN/HOTEL/ANOTHER PERSON HOUSE BECAUSE~ ~MARRIED~

9) STARING AT THE OTHER PERSON WHEN THEY’RE NOT LOOKING AND GOING “WOW, MARRIAGE IS GREAT I GET TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM AND ISN’T LOVE GRA---FUCK. LOVE. I’M IN LOVE. DAMNIT. WE MADE A DEAL NO FEELINGS!!!! OH GOD, I’M THE ONLY ONE WITH FEELINGS?!?!?!”

10) ENSUE SAD PINING BECAUSE OF UNREQUITED FEELINGS....FROM BOTH PARTIES....BECAUSE SUFFERING TASTES SO SO GOOD.

11) THEN OVER A PARTY, ONE OF THE PEOPLE IS LIKE OH HAI PERSON FROM PAST AND THE OTHER PARTY IS LIKE “OMG THIS IS SOMEONE THAT THIS PERSON COULD BE HAPPY WITH AND OH GOD WE’RE MARRIED BUT NO FEELINGS!!! BUT I LOVE THEM!!! BUT VALUE THEIR HAPPINESS ABOVE MINE!!! LET ME BE DISTANT AND LIKE PROTECT MYSELF FROM HURT!!!!”

12) ENSUE CONFUSION AND ANGST AND THE ENEVITABLE, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS??? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AND YOU WOULD BE HAPPY WITH THEM!?!?!?!? 

13) PAINED SILENCE....YOU LOVE....ME??? YES. I’M SORRY THIS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN AND I WILL LEAVE AND FAKE MY DEATH BECAUSE OF COURSE THE MARRIAGE CAN’T BE DISSOLVED WITH A DIVORCE BUT ANYWAY YOU CAN GO ON AND LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH THEM AND----

14) MUFFLED KISSING.

15) SHOCKED LOOKS....

16) FURNITURES GETS BROKEN DUE TO PASSION....UNLESS IT’S LIKE THE REALLY HARDCORE STUFF IN WHICH IT SCUFFS THE FLOOR A LOT.

17) *HOURS LATER*....SO....I GUESS YOU LOVE ME TOO??

MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE Y’ALL

IT’S SO SO GOOD TO MEEEE