#phwale

[marbearmarigold]

If she doesn't make a bracelet for your incredibly specific crack phanfiction, are you even a ranch metaphor?

[marbearmarigold]

Phwale

My phan whale au as requested by at least one person

I don't know how y'all format fanfics on here so well I Salute You

Dan and Phil are two YouScuber whales enjoying their successful career and comeback, when a different channel pops up, hosted by two whales that look Exactly Like Them.

It had happened before.

When that channel first published, spawned was a more apt term, Dan and Phil found out from the YouScube home page. The two whales were huddled around Dan's blubtop, staring in disbelief.

"DanAndPhilCRAFTS?" said Phil, incredulously.

"We didn't make this, right?" Dan turned from the screen to look at Phil. He flicked his tail a little in stress. "I mean, we could have been deleriously drunk and filmed this...... and cleaned it up before morning..... and edited before morning..... and scheduled the post before... morning......."

"We did not make this."

"Then why are we in it? Why are we in this video?"

"I don't know," said Phil, "But we should probably watch it."

He reached over and pressed play.

They never spoke about it publicly, that year or the two following. Thankfully, the date of the upload meant that their audience assumed it was an April Fool's Day video, and that continued until today. For the most part.

There were murmurings of "crafties" of course, but they were few and far between. And since the channel hadn't posted in 7 years, Dan and Phil figured the dopplegangers had moved on, hopefully to other, more wholesome activities.

Which meant that this April 1rst hit them like an anchor.

"Oh my Neptune." Phil dropped his bowl of Kelpies onto the coffee rock in shock.

"What?" Dan swam over.

Phil showed him his shellphone, he'd been scrolling Twitter and found a screencap from YouScube.

"What?" Said Dan again. "Why? Why are they back it's been years!"

"I don't know."

They watched the video of course. It was longer than the other ones. It started out normally, as normal as a DanAndPhilCRAFTS video could be.

"Hello Crafties!" The opening line sent shivers down Dan and Phil's spines. Seeing a whale that looked like Dan speaking words he'd never said was always creepy.

They made their usual claims, that they'd been posting twice a day every day, even though this was the fourth video on their channel. They said their usual phrases: "soft and neat" "pro-tip" "mother" "Him". Their chaos beamed through the screen like sunlight through through the waves. "Don't cry, craft!"

And then....

And then it got even more sinister. The whales started filming outside, in a remote and deserted cove it looked like. They dissolved all four crafts in acid to summon Him. They went to an abandoned shipwreck covered in arcane and sinister symbols.

Dan and Phil watched all of this in horror, dread creeping up their tales. The comfort of their livingroom dropped away, they weren't in their home anymore, they were viewing themselves performing horrible acts.

They watched as Dan killed Phil. That had happened in the sea cucumber prints video, but this was more visceral. They could see the blood floating in the water, the pain in Dan's eyes as he swam to Phil's body onto the giant symbol in the middle of the deck.

Dan carved out Phil's heart.

Dan addressed the audience for the first time since they destroyed the titular slime.

"Hello crafties," He was out of breath, the sacrificial act clearly exhausted him both physically and emotionally. He took blood from Phil's heart and painted it onto one fin.

"Art.... is important."

He spread blood on his other fin.

"Soft..... and neat."

He began to do the same to Phil's fins, pressing the whale's own blood into his dead body.

"Creativity.... is nothing without friendship."

Phil's fin dropped to the floor.

"Don't cry...... Craft."

The last shot of the video was Dan and Phil, above the symbol, fin in fin. Alive? Dead? Something else? And a figure swam up behind them.

A mer-goat.

A Demon.

The water churned, white-hot, and the video ended.

YouScube auto-played one of their gaming channel videos, and the Dan and Phil sitting safe in their house were jarred back to reality.

Dan slowly reached over and clicked the airbar to pause it.

They sat in silence for a long time.

They didn't really need to speak. They knew what the other was feeling, and what the other would think about what they were feeling.

It had gone too far. The public would think it was a well produced April Fool's video. But they knew the truth.

It was real. There was a demon out there.

And Dan and Phil had to figure out what was going on at last.

"Well, Phil," Dan said, "Where do we go first?"

[marbearmarigold]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: dan and phil Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dan Howell & Phil Lester Characters: Dan Howell, Phil Lester, Craft!Dan Howell, Craft!Phil Lester Additional Tags: multiverse au, DanAndPhilGAMES, DanAndPhilCRAFTS, Whales, whale au, there's a multiverse and they're whales, phwale au, phwale, there's a lot of ocean related puns, DanAndPhilCRAFTS Slime, Canon-Typical Violence Summary:

Dan and Phil are two YouScuber whales enjoying their successful careers and comeback, when a different channel pops up, hosted by two whales who look Exactly Like Them.

[marbearmarigold]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: dan and phil Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dan Howell & Phil Lester Characters: Dan Howell, Phil Lester, Craft!Dan Howell, Craft!Phil Lester Additional Tags: multiverse au, DanAndPhilGAMES, DanAndPhilCRAFTS, Whales, whale au, there's a multiverse and they're whales, phwale au, phwale, there's a lot of ocean related puns, DanAndPhilCRAFTS Slime, Canon-Typical Violence Summary:

Dan and Phil are two YouScuber whales enjoying their successful careers and comeback, when a different channel pops up, hosted by two whales who look Exactly Like Them.

Hello I am on ao3 now whooooo

I'm probably gonna slowly get into writing a drabble here and there over there while I decide what to do with the phwale of it all

[marbearmarigold]

This might be a good time to mention my Dan and Phil whale au fic (#phwale) again. There's only one chapter but That Can Change!!

[marbearmarigold]

Okay Phannies I have completed Chapter 1 of my Phwale AU!!!! It took an embarrassing amount of brain power, and writing Chapter 2 will definitely take even more but this concept is just too good to not write

I will post it immediately and I hope y'all enjoy!!!

[marbearmarigold]

I am working on my pwhale au and it might be bigger than I thought it was going to be But I think I'm closing in on finishing chapter one

So keep an eye out for that at some point!

I hope that Someone out there likes it because I am rotating these whales in my brain and I Will be writing more

Also I am fully channeling the spirit of my 11 year old self and the writing (and occasional typo) Will reflect that it is a feature not a bug

(I will also tag all posts about this phic with phwale)