#phycho-babble

[ir-relevancy-blog-blog]

April Fool

I really want to write right now. Not really sure why, but when it comes to writing, it is best to just go with it.

Every time I try to write like this, completely aimless, without any kind of plan, it reminds me of how "they" always say you should always have a plan when you are writing something. And while we all know that plans are completely glamorous, they aren't always quite so easy to come by...

So let's see whats circling around in my head today...

There's that dang detention that I have to serve, or basically high school drama in general... Graduation coming, terminal senioritis that I am trying to combat... I think I have a D in music right now... :O Oh music class... why must you be so funky and unnecessary... I feel like If I ever wrote any music I wouldn't use any theory at all...

Except maybe to record it.

Then there's other High school drama, that I probably shouldn't get into... In order to protect the innocent.

Stupid innocent... always needing protection.

 Then there's the semi-horrid week that I had. (I couldn't deal with what was going on...) I totally failed my Divine mercy test... And I got a little depressed as I worry about my driving test next week.

Whenever I think about my depression I think about my weight, and how weiwa may or may not be working for me. And when I think of weight it makes me think of how much I hate that word and how long it has fully permeated my life. And how I now need blood pressure medication...



 

Perceivers



Judgers

   Meanwhile Psycho Babble flows throughout my mind as I deeply consider it as a future career. I think about my personality and how I was worried last week about becoming a judger. I think about how much Extroverted Feeling Judgers piss me off, but how I could never not love them. They are always so into what's "cool" and "normal" and they can be sooo close minded. I may also seem close-minded, but in all honesty, I only play a close-minded person "on TV" so to speak...

I believe the world is messed up in some ways, but I hate it when people say things like "Life isn't fair" or  "that's just the way it is." Why shouldn't life be fair? Why shouldn't it be changed? What the hell is wrong with everybody*?!?!?

If everybody* thinks like that just because that's what they were told, Then it never will change.

*not literally everybody...

But who knows, maybe I'm just an April Fool.

[ir-relevancy-blog-blog]

Judger Juice

WARNING: PSYCHO-BABBLE AHEAD! I had some serious judger juice yesterday... whether I wanted it or not. It was horrible. If I'm gonna have the dang drawbacks of being a judger, I might as well get the benefits. And weirdly enough, I already have... Let me just start off by saying.... Wow feeling judgers! :) you sure do live the life!!! ...not Yesterday was horrible. My tiredness kind of left me acting like a funky feeling judger. I tend to think the last letter is one of the weakest for me, and it always seems to be the first one to degenerate. So basically, not only was I a judger today, I was an unhealthy one. And a feeling one. :O There is nothing worse than a selfish feeling judger. The day started out early for me, I was muy tired. I took a shower and almost passed out while I was in there. I got ready slowly while simultaneous nagging my mom to get up. She wouldn't, but I was somewhat trying to stay "chill" Suddenly it was 7:35 and I started freaking out. My mom got pissed. She took forever, because she "had to poop" and we ended up leaving at almost 7:45. It was horrible, and completely not my fault. I could feel the detention coming, I tried to tell her to go back, but she wouldn't have it. My mom said she would call in and say we were stuck in traffic. (At Bishop Montgomery High School, you can call in if you have a reason to be late and you won't get a detention.) This had worked in the past, so I calmed down a bit. But of course, Things farted out as soon as I got there. When I got to the school the attendance office was very crowded. I remember thinking how stupid the system was, because although I was only a couple minutes late, It took like fifteen to get out of there. When I got to class, I actually started showing a little bit of emotion because of how upset I was. It was shocking because usually I have some kind of control over it, sure the feeling of forlornness was deep, but the deep feelings are usually buried within. Plus it was music class.... Which really didn't help... I did really bad on a hefty assignment in that class... The next period was hectic on another level. In anatomy we have these funky group presentations where we have to present a gland of the endocrine system to the class and teach it to them. I had not gotten the chance to read the PowerPoint that made group made for our project, so there was a slight possibility that I would have had to "wing it" in front of the class. Government was semi-peaceful. In math I got the paper for my detention and almost flat out cried because of the injustice of it all. Jade was shocked at my feeler moment. It was horrifying. Lunch was ok. I was glad I had some alone time at first, and Kamara bought me some Takis :) The rest of the school day was fine, but then I had to go to the doctor after fighting with my mom about the morning. My INTJ (possibly F) Doctor told me I had to start on a blood pressure pill, So when I got home I exercised because I was horrified. I think today I'm back to my non-judgy self, I guess some alone time was all I really needed. And now, I leave you with this.