Interview
Tagged by @kyber-heart -- This will also go into Shots and Chasers early next week.
I noticed an inconsistency in the meme, so I went for it hard with a plot point.
**
(Subject sits in room. She slumps down in her chair, boots braced against the wall, tipping the chair back and forth. She awaits the start of the interview.)
(Finally, a voice comes through, heavily modulated and obscured)
? Name ? “You have my chaincode, you tell me.”
Non-cooperation is not recommended.
(Subject tips chair back one last time before letting it slam back down on the floor. She takes her feet off the wall and looks in the general direction of the voice.) “Eva Corolastor.”
? Are you single ? “You’re out of luck. Someone would notice my absence.”
Insufficient response. Question repeated: ? Are you single ?
(Subject raises an eyebrow). “No.”
? Are you happy ? “You’ve detained me and my ship. What in the Great Galaxy would I be happy about at this moment?”
Insufficient response. Question repeated: ? Are you happy ? “Your human interaction sector on your interpretation board is insufficient. I’m generally a happy person, but I’d be happier if I wasn’t here.”
Feedback noted. ? Are you angry ? “Yes, because I do not want to be here.”
? Are your parents still married ? (smirk) "If you take the words ‘til death do us part’ literally, then no.”
NINE FACTS
(Subject raises eyebrows at pronouncement)
? Birth Place ? “Chaincode says 'in transit.’“
? Specification ? "The ship was moving at the time.”
? General Galactic Location ? “....Bespin. In the planetary cluster near Bespin.”
? Hair Color ? “Your sensors can detect that.”
Self-Reported Answer Required.
“Brown. Dark brown.”
? Eye Color ? "Red-brown.”
? Birthday ? “What was the point of taking my chaincode and my wallet if you’re just going to ask me the same stuff in here?”
Insuffic--
“Karking hell, your programmer is a disgrace to their mother. One month before Life Day, 10 years before they signed the Treaty in Coruscant.”
? Mood ? (Subject stares at holo transceiver.)
“Sober, unfortunately.”
? Gender ? “Female.”
? Summer or winter ? “What about the other two seasons? Can I choose autumn for the pretty colors and seasonal food?”
Sufficient Response. “Thanks.”
? Morning or afternoon ? “Night. Not a huge fan of the other options.”
Insufficient Response. Repeat qu--
“How is it ok for me to choose a different season but not a different time of day?”
Insuff-
“Fine, morning. Early hours. Dawn.”
EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE?
“Uh oh. I’m not interested in being in your computer master race breeding program -- can I mark that down as a preference?”
Objection unnecessary; questions are collected for psychological data study.
“Oh, this should be fun.”
? Are you in love ? “Yes.”
? Do you believe in love at first sight ? “No. Others do. Not me.”
? Who ended your last relationship ?
(Subject blinks) “Define parameters.”
Processing... what entity ceased to give affection --
“I think he did, since he did try to terminate me.”
? Have you ever broken someone’s heart ? “Yes. And I’m still sorry.”
? Are you afraid of commitments ? “No, I just have atrocious taste in partners who are. Were.”
? Have you hugged someone within the last week ? “Yes.”
? Have you ever had a secret admirer ? “Suggest command: debug illogical question: if secret, then unknown to subject. If known to subject, then not secret. Subject cannot respond.”
Debug suggestion accepted, duly noted.
? Have you ever broken your own heart ? “Yeah.”
(Subject shifts position in chair.)
SIX CHOICES
? Love or Lust ? “Love. Lust gets boring after awhile.”
? Lemonade or iced tea ? “Hot tea. Cold drinks are inferior.”
Sufficient response
“Good. You have some redeemable qualities after all.”
? Cats or Dogs ? “I despise dogs. Cats. But I’m undeserving of their company.”
? A few best friends or many regular friends ? “A few best friends.”
? Wild night out or romantic night in ? “The two events are not mutually exclusive or unable to be concurrent. The choice is nonbinary.“
Sufficient Response: logic circuit satisfied.
? Day or night ? “Oh, that’s why you wouldn’t let me answer night before. Fine. Night. Your programmer is also a disgrace to his father, whoever he is.
FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS
? Been caught sneaking out ? “Apparently, that’s what happened earlier today.”
? Fallen down/up the stairs ? “Yes.”
? Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?
(Subject stares down at floor.)
“Yes.”
? Wanted to disappear ? (Subject’s vocal volume decreases.) “Yes.”
FOUR PREFERENCES
“Wait a second. What happened to the fifth ‘have I ever’?”
Processing....
Processing....
(Subject stands up.)
“There were not five questions. There were only four.”
Processing...
“FOUR.”
(Subject walks to mirrored observation transparisteel and raps on it.)
“FOUR.”
Repeat Request.
“What happened to the fifth ‘have I ever’?”
? Have you ever lied about loving someone ?
(Subject hits transparisteel one last time.) “No.”
Processing...
Processing...
Please be seated.
(Subject stares at observation window. Subject returns to seat. Subject sits down, legs and arms crossed.)
“Hurry it up then.”
FOUR PREFERENCES
? Smile or eyes ? “Eyes. But I have someone with both.” (Subject displays small smile)
? Shorter or Taller ? “Taller.”
? Intelligence or Attraction ? “Intelligence. Bad pillow talk is always a mood killer. But his looks don’t hurt either.”
? Hook-up or Relationship ? “As long as the relationship keeps it as hot as a hook-up, why should I complain?”
(Subject notices lengthy pause.)
FAMILY
"Not three things about family? Is your internal counter broken?”
? Do you and your family get along ? “My family is my family because I get along with them. They are all chosen.”
? Would you say you have a “messed up life” ?
(Subject raises eyebrows.) “It’s a life. Things happen. I deal with it.”
? Have you ever ran away from home ? “No, I run away on my home from people.” (Subject smirks.)
? Have you ever gotten kicked out ? “Probably from some drinking establishment, somewhere.”
FRIENDS
? Do you secretly hate one of your friends ? “Wouldn’t be a secret if I told, but no.”
? Do you consider all of your friends good friends ? “We all need some acquaintances to make the galaxy go ‘round. So no. Not all friends are close friends.”
? Who is your best friend ? “Platonicly, my Wookiee, who is probably going to dismantle you when he finds me here.”
? Who knows everything about you ? (Subject smiles broadly) “You do, darling.”
INTERVIEW SESSION TERMINATED
The transparisteel observations window was blasted into the interview room. Eva’s hands instinctively went up to shield her face as she rose and backed up toward the wall. Her ears rang, and she almost didn’t hear the voice at the far end of the room.
“Captain!” a familiar voice called out.
Eva lowered her arms and started to fan at the smoke that was slowly filling the room. “My Mando in shining beskar. Good to see you, Akaavi.”
Akaavi stepped through the shattered window, armored feet crunching the shards beneath her. “Are you unharmed?”
“Yeah. Did I buy enough time?” Eva came away from the wall and reached for the gunbelt that Akaavi held out for her.
“Yes, Captain, I have a message for you.” Akaavi reached into one of the security pockets of her armor and offered an earpiece.
Eva swiftly tapped it into her ear as she put on her gunbelt. A familiar voice crackled through her ear. “You can be difficult when you want to be.”
Eva smiled. “Hey, Agent Shan. How’d the slice go?”
“Slice went perfectly from up here -- already wiped their databanks after extraction; we have our copy. Mako is almost done with the local system information, and we can turn that base into something useful for the Alliance. Or Voidfleet, depending how much you want Lana to know about this op,” Theron offered. “Either way, it’s not going to jam up our pilots anymore. When did you know I sliced in?”
“Computer got too polite -- you said ‘please.’”
“I’ll work on being ruder next time. I definitely knew you knew when you started.... disclosing details.” He cleared his throat. “You two make tracks to the bay -- I’ll start the Thief.”
“Drinks at 7. See you in a few minutes, Theron. Eva out.”