Are You Certain or Are You Right?
Thirty plus years ago, my dad was looking into a job in the Midwest and part of the interview process for the final candidates was a psychological exam of sorts. One of the things they noted about him was that he would rather be certain than right.
Seems strange at first blush, doesn’t it? I mean, aren’t they the same thing, really?
No, they are not as it turns out. Dictionary.com defines certain as “free from doubt or reservation; confident; sure”.
Right is defined as “in conformity with fact, reason, truth, or some standard or principle; correct” and “correct in judgment, opinion, or action”.
It’s a nuanced difference. Right is based on fact, reason, some standard of principle. Certain is confident, “free from doubt”. Certain is a mindset. Right is factual.
As I work my 4th step, I see how this nuance can affect me. I have righteousness as defect. It is something I have been working very hard on. I have strong beliefs and perspectives and I am “certain” they are correct.
But are they right?
That question can only be decided by looking at all the factors involved...even those (and I would argue especially those) that fly in the face of what I am “certain” of.
And as I watch the news and scan Facebook, I realized just how far down the “certain” road so many of us have gone. We are “certain” that our stance on politics, political candidates, gun control, race, police, sports teams, and more is the correct one. But if everyone on each side is “certain,” than can anyone actually be “right”?
My program tells me no. Program tells me that there is truth on both sides and only by looking at each perspective can we find the slim slice of “right”.
I have found that, for me, a good test of if I am slipping into “certainness” is how I respond to someone who contradicts me. Am I judgemental? Defensive? Do I work to convince them of just how “right” I am? Can I let it go?
The answers to those questions then tell me that maybe I need to step back and look at the issue from another angle and perspective, especially when I don’t want to. That’s when I have to.
Because we can all be certain... But right takes a great deal more work.