#pickle anon

[thepicklegifter]

are you alive?

Yep, somehow!

Surprised I'm getting asks again, really... Not that I'm complaining, after my nemesis disappeared out of nowhere I've just been bored.

[batwritings]

GUESSED WHO JUST PASSED A MATH EXAM >;) not me😭 but I passed my English one so I feel better. BUT THIS ISN'T ABT THAT I HAD AN IDEA

For the best of us who have size kinks:

being with Techno and having like a cleaning day and while you’re folding laundry(or something like that), he realizes how long a pair of his pants are compared to you- like, he’s like 7-8 feet tall and the voices go “awooga s/o is tiny dick go brrrr” and he has to hide his boner awkwardly while you’re just doing chores

-pickle

D: At least you passed one exam! And maybe you'll get the chance to try again on your math one? I mean, just looking at Techno I go "awooga" soooo >w> Enjoy~!

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He really didn't need to be having these thoughts right now. Yet here he was watching you fold laundry from the doorway, trying to get the voices to shut the hell up with all his might. It isn't until he watches you pick up a pair of his pants to fold that they start saying it.

Techno watches you curiously hold the pants up to your own smaller body, seeing where they ended up. Sure, you were laughing but he certainly wasn't. "Awooga s/o is tiny," purred one of the many voices. "Dick go brrr," called another, and that was about all he could take.

"Will you all just shut the hell up?" Techno growled what he hoped was softly. Looking up however, he saw you staring with a rather amused smile. He shifted on his feet, trying desperately to hide his hard on.

"Voices being loud today hon?" you ask with a knowing tone.

"A bit," he answers back through gritted teeth. You hum in acknowledgement before walking to put the clothes you've folded away. Before you can fully round the corner, you're peaking back around.

"You're not very good at hiding it by the way," you tease, slipping away with Techno following close behind. He pins you to the dresser, erection now evident against your ass.

"Then why don't you do something about it darlin'?" he growls against the shell of your ear. You grind back against him in response.

"You mean like how I did something about it this morning?," you chuckle teasingly. "Besides, you're the one with the problem. Fuck me like you mean it Mr. Blood God."

You barely have time to think as Techno rips your pants and underwear from your legs. He can hardly register your complaint of, "I just washed those!" with the voices buzzing in his head. "Fuck them like you mean it." "Make them cry." "Look how tiny they'll be on your dick."

In a matter of seconds you're being picked up and held against the wall while Techno enters you. He keeps a rough pace as he fucks you, fingers dancing over the bulge his cock makes in your stomach. "So fucking tiny," he mumbles absentmindedly, letting the voices speak through him almost.

You watch his glazed over eyes and smirk, stealing a kiss from him. The voices scream even louder and he can barely warn you before he's spilling inside you. He watches the small bulge his orgasm creates and moans quietly.

Gently, he lets you down on shaky legs, making sure you have your balance before pulling away fully. "Sorry, I- I dunno what came over me," Techno mumbles sheepishly, looking away. You roll your eyes and kiss his cheek fondly.

"You're forgiven," you tell him with a soft smile. That quickly morphs into a devious grin. "If you help me patch up my clothes now that you've ripped them."

Technoblade only chuckles. "Fair enough darlin'."

[aggravatetheaxe]

Hae baby, I knoow you’ve been haevin a really rough couple’a months. I been there. But yanno, recovery n’ achievin your dreams is yoosualeee naht linear. So just be paetient with yerself, yer dooin great, and I’m so prooud of how far you’ve come. Also…here’s tha good news…I love youuu!! *kiss* - Pickles

I'm g in ggo I'm going I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm I'm gonna g g g g g g g g. G

[worstloki]

pickle anon here, i have a girlfriend now!! hooray! she's not the biggest fan of pickles but that's alright because when we eat burgers she gives me her pickles :)

Ooo!! You’ve found yourself the perfect ship dynamic!! 👀

[janumun]

Hey, I'd like to apologize for that previous ask, I'll definitely keep in mind to not send such things. It was intended as a joke; however, I do now realize it was not appropriate. I'm sorry again.

It's totally okay, dear Anon. No harm done. ♡´･ᴗ･`♡ I admit I was taken aback when I received your previous ask but figured it was, perhaps, you trying to crack a joke.

Again, thank you for reaching out and clarifying your previous message. You're certainly not obligated to, but if you do drop by again and want to share an 18+ joke, just specify that it is one. Maybe something like, "I thought of this one crazy joke and it goes—" I don't think a lot of people would mind that, provided they're okay with adult humor and as long as they're aware it's a joke.

I'd be happy to respond with some of my own, albeit poor, attempts at humor and memes. 😆💕 (I did have fun crafting those awful edits for the tickle pickle ask LOL)

Lastly, I apologize as well if I came off too harsh in my previous answer. I wasn't sure how you meant it then but now I do.

Please accept one of my favorite men, Hattori Hanzo, looking ready to tackle this pickle to the ground and enjoying it, for the pickle humor.

Hope you have a great day and/or night (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

[thepicklegifter]

"nothing bad happens in January" WRONG pickle anon war

[thepicklegifter]

Bro how did I ever get an evil opposite version of me. @thepicklestealer, when did you spawn? Have you always existed or did you just kinda pop into existence?

... Also, where are you? I've cleaned and organized the room I keep my stash in like fifteen times now waiting for you to get here so I can like... Battle you for it or whatever. Do I need to give some hints out...? I prepared all these really cool defenses and everything...

(no but seriously mod creature here I am so amused by the fact that my silly guy has inspired someone to make an opposite version, and every time I'm reminded of that fact my day gets a tiny bit better lol /p)

[thepicklegifter]

(a 300 moon old cat just joined the clan and it is now Vamp anon. 300 MOONS OLD.)