In this universe. (3)
Summary: It passed. You will become a new person again and you will be loved the way you want to be.
A/N: final part guys!!! also if u have any requests for udaybir please let me know! I'll try my best to write about others as well but please lmk. this entire chapter is just one scene lol. i really recommended listening to muse by esha tiwari while reading this.
Word count: 8298
first chapter second chapter
You dreaded the rest of the day as you dragged yourself to the shower and back out to make yourself look atleast somewhat presentable. This wouldn't have been a problem if a certain man just loved you. But alas, you couldn't blame him. Have you seen you?
You grabbed your car keys and somehow drove up to his apartment.
Going up the lift, you thought about how to act. Should you be acting nonchalant? Indifferent maybe? You didn't know.
The lift dinged open as you walked up to his flat and knocked.
There was no answer.
You knocked once again, and pulled the handle to see it was unlocked. You walked into his apartment as you heard a couple laughs that sounded..awfully feminine.
To say your heart dropped would be an understatement.
From where you stood, you couldn't be seen. But you could see him.
Udaybir and some woman sat in his balcony with cups in their hands as they laughed and talked about something.
You had never seen him laugh like that with you. Hell, you'd never shared a proper cup of tea either.
The woman was gorgeous. Waist length raven black hair and striking eyes, she was a sight to see. No wonder he'd fall for her.
You walked in a little further unknowingly and suddenly Udaybir turned to see you.
His smile dropped a little and came back full fledged again as he whispered something to the girl who turned to look at you too, in almost a...knowing look?
They both stood up as they came out of the balcony. She easily stood at 5'9 at the least, much taller than you. You understood, you thought. Why would he compromise his awesome height genes for a 5 feet nothing woman?
They both hugged each other as she turned and waved at you, passing you a million dollar smile. You heard the door click close as you walked to the balcony, leaning on the railing.
"Ye thi woh?" you asked, not looking away from the view.
"Kaun?" he acted confused. You ignored his question as a result as he sighed and leaned his back on the railing on the wall opposite to where you were standing.
"Kaun thi woh?"
"Koi manager. Koi photo shoot hai South Africa mai. Bata rahi thi."
"Bohot acha photo shoot hoga jo itna hass rahe the." you tried to keep the humor flowing through your words. But that was quite hard, considering how badly you wanted to just grab him and kiss him.
You both were silent for a few moments m None of you said anything, letting the wind flow through your hair. What would you even say?
"Oh, I'm actually in love with you since the past year and I want to hopelessly devote myself to you. What's for lunch by the way?"
"Uday?" you weren't sure if he was looking at you. But you felt his attention n you.
"Agar koi hoga toh tu mujhe batayega na?" you asked quietly. Keeping your voice from cracking and immense pain seeping in was hard. But you managed. You left out the 'aur'. Because you weren't anyone to him, let alone someone. You weren't privilaged enough to ask about someone 'else'.
"Hai koi." you could hear your heart cracking into a million different pieces. You knew this day would come. You knew it. Why were you still so disappointed?
You forced a bashing laugh and tried to keep disappointment out of your voice.
"She's pretty."
"Who?"
"The girl. That was here."
"Well, yeah." if you heard another crack, that was another piece of your heart breaking. The back of your eyes stung with tears as you struggled to keep your voice steady.
"When were you gonna tell me?" you said. Anger seeping into your voice. You were many things, but you weren't a homewrecker.
"I-I just..I had to find a way to tell you. I couldn't just dump everything on you. I dont want to ruin our friendship."
"What friendship, Uday?" you whipped around to face him. "We aren't friends. We're fuck buddies."
"You should've told me if there was some girl who you love. It's not like I own you, I wouldn't have done anything. Just left."
"Wha-" he seemed genuinely confused.
"Can you just tell me what you need help with so I can get done with it and leave?" agitated, you started walking back into the house, when you felt a hand wrap around your wrist and pull you in.
You stumbled as you used his shoulders as leverage to balance yourself. He was still standing with his back leaned to the railing, except now he had you in his arms.
"Uday, kya kar raha hai?" you tried to free yourself of his grip, which only tightened the more you struggled.
"Tujhe lagta hai mai us ladki ko pasand karta hu?"
"Aur nahi toh kya? Itna hass raha tha." you tried to keep the jealousy at bay.
He laughed, eyes flicking down to your lips.
"Pagal aurat. Shaadi shuda hai woh."
You looked up at him with scrunched eyebrows and looked away immediately. From how close you were, you could feel his breath on your face.
"Raat ko jab sota hu na, tu mere sapno mai aati hai. Mere paas soti hai. Uth ti hai. Har din kaam karke aata hun aur tere paas so jaata hu."
You looked at him in utter shock. You weren't in the state of mind to tell him that you thought of the exact same thing.
"Mere saath bahar ghoomti hai. Jahaan jaate hai waaha pyaar dikhata hu tujhe. Tere ishaaron pe naachta hu main. Tu joh bolti hai woh khareed deta hu. Jo bolti hai woh karta hu."
"Pyaar karta hu tujhse." you swallowed thickly as a gasp left your mouth. You opened your mouth to speak but nothing really came out.
"There's no one you were talking about in the car, was there?" you shook your head hesitantly, not trusting yourself to speak.
He leaned in a little closer.
"The first time I went outside and I thought looking at a dress ki, 'ye uspe accha lagega', ushi din pata chal gaya tha ki tere liye mai sab kuch khone ke liye taiyyar hun."
"Bas tu nahi. Tujhe kho dunga na, toh jaan jaise chali jaayegi. Ek din tujhe dekhe beger rehta hu toh lagta hai jaise kisine dil pe pathad rakhdiya ho."
He must have noticed how quiet you were listening to all this.
"Kuch toh bol. Chilla de merepe. Thappad-wappad maar. Do chaar gaali hi dede. Bol ki mai paagal hu. Chutiya hu. Tere laayak nahi hu." his voice cracked slightly. "Chup toh mat reh."
You couldn't stop your bottom lip from wiggling. Tears stung your eyes as you struggled to keep your voice steady.
"Bohot pyaar karti hu tujhse, Uday." you caressed his face with the softness of a long time lover.
"Ek second nahi jaata jab mai tere baare mai nahi soch rahi hoti hu."
"Bas dost ke naam pe dosti rakhti hu tujhse. Warna toh kabki tod li hoti." you both giggled like little girls as you sniffled.
However you couldn't really stop the bitterness from entering your bones. All those months of pining made you sour about your feelings for him.
You couldn't help it as a tear escaped your eye and grief overcame over you again. A sob tore apart your throat as you tried to make sense of how many times you'd given up so many things for him. And how many times you'd do it again.
Udaybir couldn't stop the guilt from etching his face either.
"Do you know how many nights I've cried myself to sleep because of you?" another sob broke through you.
"Literally beside you. While you made me think you'd never love me the way I do." you hit his chest weakly as you cried.
"You made me think like I was unworthy." he grabbed your head and buried it in his chest as you sobbed ugly.
"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I'll be making it up to you for the rest of our life. I promise. You'll never feel like this again."
You looked up from his neck, eyes flicking down to his pink lips. They looked so inviting, especially when you just wanted to kiss him silly since the part year.
"Why have you never kissed me, Uday?" you decided to ask the burning question.
"I thought I'd fall in love if I did. But I fell in love either way."
You chuckled as he swiped his thumbs on your cheeks to wipe your tears. For a moment you just stared at each other before you heard Udaybir whisper 'fuck it' under his breath.
He put his hand on the side of your neck, thumb stroking your cheek, and smashed his lips against yours. He poured his entire soul into it. His jealousy, his love, his lust—everything. Your hands came up to his biceps as you tried to keep yourself steady.
You could feel another fresh batch of tears coming in as you felt the emotions from his lips. You both moved in a sort of rhythm was only understood by people who have loved each other for so long that they cannot keep away.
You both pulled away to catch your breath a little. You then shamelessly grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him back to another kiss. His hands tightened on your waist as you let out a small moan when he slipped his tongue into your mouth.
Your tongues mushed together as you tried to make sense of why you'd never done this before. One of his hands drifted your waist up to your face and your hands dragged down from his neck to his chest.
The noise he made at that was downright unholy. A low, deep groan that reverberated through your entire body and sent a jolt down your core.
It was poetic, really. Two lovers, if you could even call it that, kissing for the first time. The only difference was, it didn't feel like there were any fireworks in the background or anything. No crazy screaming or anything.
It was calm.
It was steady.
It was a type of quiet that you only imagined in books and movies. A comfortable type of quiet that someone lives in with someone else when they've known each other for so long that they don't know the world without each other.
You pulled away as he rested his forehead against yours. You both closed your eyes and just felt the heat of the moment. You opened your eyes to see Udaybir's eyes already trained on your.
You raised your eyebrows at him as if to ask 'what?'. He shook his head and chuckled.
"You're so beautiful. I can't believe I didn't do this before."
You both giggled like teenagers as you grabbed his face and rubbed your noses together.
"Ab tumhe kahi nahi jaane dunga. Apne haathon mai basa ke rakhlunga bilkul."
You laughed softly as you felt his racing heartbeat through his shirt. He kissed your forehead lightly.
It passed. You didn't have to imagine another universe where he loves you and only you. You didn't have to pry away the thought of him with another woman prickling at you every moment.
You were the woman.
You were the moment.
grungus the frog on the drums, what's he gon' do?
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