The importance of the internet age and how we’re still learning to not be assholes to another.
So I’m going to tell a small story. Because I suppose even at my age, there are still things to learn and room to grow.
A friend came to me with the “I have some tea.” Which, sure, we all enjoy a good cuppa between friends. Especially if it’s about someone everyone in the party knows in some way. So she shares with me the tea (about fanfiction of all things) and then she shares with me her idea to send some anonymous love to her friend that originally vented to her.
I misread the situation. That’s my fault number one. I took it as “let’s bring her down a peg.” There is absolutely no excuse for thinking this and I could definitely give a few, but in the end, those don’t matter. Because there is no excuse for what I did.
So instead of giving anonymous love to make someone feel better, I instead went the route of pettiness. I went to my facebook and in my arrogance made a scathing post about this author. I exaggerated a situation, made some pretty horrific assumptions, and asked my friends to go give kudos to a different fic.
I had not mentioned who the initial author was, nor did I link to them or mention their name in the initial post. That doesn’t excuse the fact that I made it in the first place. Because nothing on the internet is ever private, no matter how many security features you have on your profile. No matter how many steps you take to hide names “so nobody gets caught.”
In a private message, a friend asked for more details. Not thinking (again, arrogance), I exaggerated a bit more to try and make the story more fun. At one point, I referenced eating popcorn while watching things go down.
I am disgusted in myself.
Not because I “got caught” but because this situation should not have happened in the first place. The things shared with me were in a private conversation that should have never been placed on a public forum. Because people vent, that happens -- I’m sure there are plenty of people that vent about me. And it’s healthy to vent out frustration.
It isn’t healthy to share it. And that’s what I did.
It isn’t right to share it. And that’s what I did.
It isn’t okay to exaggerate to make someone sound worse. That’s what I did.
I’m not proud of myself and what I’ve apparently become.
And there’s nothing I can do about the situation but give my sincerest apologies to every single person involved before me. From the friend that trusted me, to the two originally involved, all three of you deserve my deepest apologies.
I am so, so sorry this got blown out of proportion because of my exaggerations. I am so, so sorry that trusts were broken. I am so, so sorry that I caused this stress for everyone involved.
If you want to speak with me in private, I am open (my username at gmail) and I will give any and all the apologies. And if you want this to be our last interactions, I can keep to that as well. I wouldn’t want to talk to me after this either, to be honest.
Again, my deepest apologies. I can’t say that enough.